Artemis Fowl: The Book of Ages
by GMontag
Summary: Artemis and Holly have accidentally created a time paradox, changing the events of the last eight years. Now the two are thrown into a bleak world where Haven has fallen, and inter-species war has begun. Who can they trust? What can they save? A/H
1. Quakes and Queries

**A/N:** Hello readers and welcome to my humble tale of Mud Men and fairies. This story is set almost immediately after Time Paradox ends and will certainly spoil a few key things about TP if you haven't read it before.

Right then, if that hasn't stopped you, then we'll move on to the disclaimer:

Artemis Fowl is the creation of Eoin Colfer (God bless the Irish for giving the world this wonderful man) and not me, something I am not at all unhappy about.

Anyway, now that that's done, onwards to the story!

* * *

**Artemis Fowl: The Book of Ages**

Quakes and Queries

* * *

_Who forces time is pushed back by time; who yields to time finds time on his side. -the Talmud_

**

* * *

Police Plaza, Haven City**

The once-again captain, Holly Short, stared at the sign in front of her.

_Commander Trouble Kelp, Lower Elements Police_

Commander.

Holly blinked and her face tried to come up with an appropriate expression, but failed after a few seconds. She ended up somewhere between a grimace, a sad smile, and a stoic look of indifference. She had served under four commanders in a span of six years. Even if she had only been under Ark Sool for the briefest amount of time, and under Briar Cudgeon without her knowledge at the time, it still counted.

Considering how long fairies usually kept their jobs- that was a _lot _of different commanders.

The captain knew that as soon as she went into the office, she would get some sort of reprimand or other. The elf wondered why it was that she never could avoid that for long no matter who her boss was.

Holly sighed and knocked twice on the wooden surface of the door.

"Come in," called a tired voice from inside.

The elf gulped. That sounded almost like Julius and for a second, and she imagined opening the door, just to be greeted by the perpetually red visage of the old Commander.

She pushed open the door and stepped inside the office.

"Holly, have a seat," came the hard-edged, yet smooth tone of, alas, Commander Kelp.

"Good morning Trouble," greeted Holly neutrally, consciously controlling her expression. It had been a few months since she had returned from Limbo and a few days since her return to the present, but she was still mildly surprised whenever she looked at her old friend. She could have sworn that was a fleck of grey hair near the commander's temple.

'_Must be the stress,'_ Holly thought glumly, shelving away the image as another of the constant and vivid reminders of the time she had missed while those she knew went on with their lives.

Trouble put down the datapad he had been working with and rested his chin on his palm, looking at the captain from a slightly skewed angle, as if studying her.

"Holly, you've said 'good morning' to me three times today- and it's only nine!" he exclaimed in an odd tone.

The female officer stared at him for a moment, unsure of how to respond. He was right, now that she thought about it. Somewhere in the back of her mind though, she knew why.

These days, she always wanted to say _something_ to all the people who she had missed- Trouble included- but words always seemed to elude her. It was like she was dropped into a parallel world where everything was the same, yet everyone seemed subtly different. It had bothered her since her return from Hybras. She didn't know what to say, and so she said good morning.

"Sorry, I guess it's a habit," she answered feebly.

The commander quirked an eyebrow, but then quickly leaned back into the chair and spread his arms in a gesture of surrender.

"Well anyway, you know why you're here."

Though she was tempted to turn away from his gaze, Holly instead looked straight back at him.

"Trouble, you know I had no choice- the risk of a Spelltropy reintroduction was too high, I had to do something!" she preempted strongly, her fists curling up at the tension she felt running through her body.

"I know, I know. And with the whole thing about Opal getting insane powers-" he paused and almost cracked a smile at his choice of words, "you did what you had to."

He shifted uncomfortably in his seat, his hands folding and unfolding, as if unsure of what to do with themselves.

"But the issue was that you had no knowledge of Opal's actions, and the Spelltropy could have probably been contained easily by quarantine. Time travel was and _is_ a forbidden method of solving our problems."

The elfin captain frowned. Technically, Trouble was right on all points, but at the time, she thought that she had owed it to Artemis to help him for something she believed she had caused. Even now, when the truth was known it was neither her nor the Mud Boy who had caused the disease in his mother, Holly didn't doubt that she would do the same thing again.

"Well," she countered, "it worked out didn't it?"

"You see, that's just it," said Trouble with an exasperated sigh, "yes- you're right, it did. But that doesn't excuse your actions."

Holly opened her mouth to argue, but didn't get the chance to.

A deep, growling rumble seemed to emit from the earth below them. It was a bass-like sound that seemed almost to sound like someone's loudspeakers going haywire.

Then the ground began to shake.

Both LEP officers immediately deferred to their training and dropped onto the ground, covering their heads with their arms. The various items on the ancient oak desk between them rattled with a sound that reminded Holly of chattering teeth, and suddenly, she found herself trying to stop her own teeth from doing just that the in the vibrations.

Pens, folders, and what looked like a ream of neatly stacked police reports fell and landed near the two. Holly could see Trouble reaching out a hand, trying to brace himself against the desk.

But as soon as he touched the wood, as if by some unexplained burst of magic, the shaking stopped.

"What the heck was that?" asked Holly in a slightly panicked voice.

Now Haven City was not, by any means, nature proof. In fact, it was a very good thing it wasn't. Being several thousand meters below the surface of Europe, the subterranean location allowed for the Earth's own geothermal energy to power essentially everything the metropolis could need or want to be powered- from radar-shielding and blast doors, to movie theaters and hot showers.

But the place where Haven was situated did _not_ have earthquakes. Well, not since the city was founded anyway- but that was thousands of years ago.

But now, apparently, it did.

Trouble merely shook his head, obviously confused by the situation. Then he immediately got back into his seat and punched a few buttons on the desk as Holly turned around and opened the door, taking a peek around the hallway for signs of damage.

"Foaly!" the Commander yelled into the screen that had popped up on the desk.

The image of the LEP's technical mastermind appeared on the tiny crystal display. Foaly still wore his usual tin-foil hat, but it looked like it had been roughly pressed against his head and now appeared more like a crumpled ball than a hat. Laser disks and various advanced computer components that Trouble couldn't even begin to name appeared in a jumbled mess behind the centaur. The commander couldn't help but wonder if that was the natural state of Ops Booth lately, or if it was induced by the quake.

"Ah, eh… Commander!" greeted the centaur in nervous mock-surprise, "I know what you're probably thinking, but I _swear_, I didn't have even the tiniest idea that there was going to be a little tremor."

"And how, if you would so enlighten me, did this 'little tremor' slip by you?" asked Trouble hotly.

At the other end of the transmission, Foaly started to get a bad feeling. It was sort of like the stomach-plummeting feeling that most people got when they were extremely worried, only it wasn't that which was falling in the centaur's mind. It was actually a number. In his mind, Trouble's face gave a single image to the centaur.

A knife- a knife slashing clean through his lovely funding.

"Well, ah, you see Trouble- I mean, Commander- I didn't get any readings from any of the geo-sensors." He turned the camera so that it pointed towards one of the many screens in Ops Booth. A lattice of blinking green lights overlaying the European continent came into view.

"See," said Foaly nervously, "not a single blip- all green."

Immediately, the centaur could feel the Commander's glare boring into him and could have sworn that the screen heated up just a little.

"Ah- what I mean is…" Foaly's genius mind churned as he thought of the right way to explain what was going on, "… the computers have no idea what happened…" he paused again, "…and neither do I."

The Commander cursed loudly and then gulped.

"Trouble, someone's here to see you," called Holly from the door.

A figure strolled in with as much controlled motion as it could muster.

Well, maybe strolled wasn't the right word. Qweffor the demon- the only member of his race with both magic and a fully developed demon body- rather stomped loudly in. It was a warped demon thing- subtlety was never their forte.

"Commander," he greeted quickly with a voice that sounded too cultured for a body that appeared to be built for more brutish activities. "We have trouble-" he began, then quickly caught himself "er- problems."

"I know Qweffor, I felt the quake too. Foaly's on it, we'll have warnings before the aftershocks get here." The commander glanced quickly back at the crystal screen, glad to see that the centaur was indeed doing what at least looked like something useful on his computers. "In the meantime, I was just about to issue a citywide advisory."

"That's not what I meant. People are disappearing Commander." Qweffor said.

"What? Explain."

"Dwarves are vanishing." The demon responded quickly, his rough facial features gaining a look as worried as one like his could manage. "You see, I was having a nice little breakfast at the nearby café- you know, the one with those delicious crepes made of-"

The dark look that the commander shot him was enough to knock him off that particular tangent.

"Well, anyway," he continued without missing a beat. To his credit, he recovered quickly. "Dwarves started to vanish- just like that! Poof!" He made a small explosion-like motion with his hands to emphasize his point. "With a bit of a boom I mean, but without the smoke- they just… vanished."

"D'Arvit," swore Trouble as he began to rub his temples with his fingers. Just when he had the whole Commander thing working so well, things like this had to happen.

"Trouble, maybe I should go round up some help…" suggested Holly, walking up to the walnut desk and her stressed boss.

It was interesting now, that this was the precise moment when another voice joined the conversation.

"Captain Short! Holly, can you read me?" called an urgent, but slightly garbled voice from the Captain's pocket.

Immediately, the elf had two pairs of inquiring eyes and two raised eyebrows directed at her.

A blush crept up her child-like face, stopping just below mismatched eyes as Holly fumbled to pull out a small plastic device that was mostly covered even by her tiny hand.

"Fowl," she hissed, "now is _not_ the time."

"Earthquakes, energy fluctuations- mean anything to you?" came the boy's voice again.

"How did you- wait, did you say energy fluctuations? We didn't have those."

"Then you had an earthquake?"

"Now wait just a second here Holly," said Trouble with a clearly flustered expression, "I'm going to assume that that's _Artemis _Fowl and for just a moment, I'll ignore the fact that whatever you have in your hand is blatantly against regulations- but what in blue blazes is going on and how does _he_ know about it?"

"Major Kelp, I presume?" asked Artemis from miles above the fairies.

"Commander," corrected Trouble, still in a slightly stunned tone.

"Yes, Commander, my mistake. I need to speak to Foaly now, Holly, so if you don't mind…"

"Hold on Fowl, you can't just go ordering my people around like that!" cried an undignified Commander.

"Commander," the boy's tone became harsh and almost ice-like, evident even through the tiny speaker. "I'm _trying_ to prevent some very nasty things from happening, but I need to know exactly _what_ is happening, and like it or not, your Captain is involved."

The color from Holly's face drained and she could feel a bit of sweat developing on the hand holding the communicator.

"Now I _really_ do need to speak with Foaly."

* * *

By the time the Mud Boy said those words, the Captain was already sprinting down the hall.

Ops Booth was, at the moment, a complete mess. It was very possibly the most high-tech mess on or under the planet, and one that was only really decipherable by a single person.

The person in question was currently looking between several computer readouts with almost eye-popping speed. On two were seismograph readings from the last ten minutes and on another was a full diagnostic program running on his Earth sensors. He should have been able to see them coming! His computers were flawless and he'd checked the sensors not a week before Hybras landed!

But no, somehow, the Earth had eluded his machines. Somehow.

The door behind the centaur swooshed open with a pneumatic hiss, causing all four of his hooves to jump up at the same time in fright.

Foaly turned around to see one Captain Short rushing into the room, brandishing a small object in front of her as if it was the world's tiniest battering ram. In truth, her fist was larger than whatever she was holding.

Before the LEP technician could say anything or even finish a surprised whinny, Holly had brushed by him and jammed the device into one of the mainframes.

A new window popped up on one of the unused screens to show the face of a pale, black-haired youth tapping away furiously at an unseen keyboard in front of him.

"Fowl!" called Foaly in confusion, "Look- not that it's not nice to see you or anything- but this is _not _the time to be using up any of my computers' processors, we have a _slight_ problem right now that really does need my attention."

"I know," replied Artemis as calmly as he could, "you just had an earthquake, power problems and several miniature sonic booms in Haven."

"What- how- sonic booms?" asked the centaur.

"Mud Boy's right," said Trouble Kelp as he and Qweffor entered the room. "Techies just confirmed power outages in ten percent of the city, and booms were heard when a group of dwarves disappeared."

Holly turned a worried pair of eyes towards the screen.

"Artemis, explain- what's going on and how am _I _involved?" she questioned rapidly.

"Actually," responded the boy genius, "not just you, but I as well."

When he saw on his own monitor aboveground that the last comment only drew more incredulous looks, Artemis decided to elaborate.

"Holly, you and I have inadvertently created a paradox in our trips back in time."

"But I thought you said that that was impossible!" cried the elf.

"That's what the thought was. But apparently it's possible to _create_ a paradox, just not to _sustain_ the world that results."

"Fowl," came the gruff voice of Qweffor next to Trouble, "we may all be very well educated fairies standing right here, but I think you're still going to need to explain it in little words to us."

Artemis sighed through the video connection and stopped his typing. His hands folded up and it looked like he was trying to compose himself and find the right words to explain at the same time.

"What I mean is, gentlemen- and lady," he quickly added when he saw Holly's glare, "the world that we are in right now is the result of a paradox- something that Nature does not allow. Nature is resetting the timeline. The world as you know it, is about to be erased."

**

* * *

A/N: **Edited 12/28/09. I am still slightly mortified at the mistakes I found here. Oh well, it was a long time ago.


	2. Scouting the Rabbit Hole

**Artemis Fowl: The Book of Ages**

Scouting the Rabbit Hole

* * *

"So goes theory anyway," added Fowl as soon as he saw that the fairies were sufficiently attentive and shocked.

The frown that Foaly had been wearing deepened even as he heard groans from the three non-scientists in the room, groans that sounded like they ranged from 'oh… theory…' to 'to hell with your damn theory!' The centaur on the other hand, was, surprisingly, a bit more even-minded about the boy's words. Of course his claim was ludicrous, but if there was one being on the planet whose theories he trusted as much as his own, it was Fowl.

Alright, fine, so he trusted the boy's theories more than his own, but you can't blame a genius centaur for having his 'completely irrational mad scientist' moments. At least not this one.

Holly was the first of the 'non-scientists' to recover. She had _some_ trust in the boy's theories, and on occasion even admired his deductive reasoning and quick thinking. It was for these reasons that she decided to start listening again.

Not that she would ever admit it- Fowl's ego was dangerously bloated already and a word like that from her could cause his head to explode from the sheer internal ego-pressure. Though possibly amusing, it wasn't something the elf would have wanted.

"Alright Artemis, let's… assume that your theory is right. I still don't see the paradox. N°1 wiped your old memories about monkey incident. You even said you thought you killed it. If you don't remember it the events, we couldn't have caused anything in the past that would affect the present."

Even though he was only looking at her through a camera, Artemis seemed to somehow meet Holly's eyes. It was a calculating look, as if thoughts were racing at bullet-like speeds behind hazel and azure eyes, but it was also a look of apprehension, guilt and perhaps… fear?

"Holly, I sincerely wish that it were that simple. I truly, truly do. But think for just a moment. Eight and a half years ago, I was ten years old. Now maybe other children my age then wouldn't have had too much of an issue finding fairies, magic and such to be believable, I was an educated child. Maybe you never knew, but I had a doctorate in psychology even then, and my professors were some of the most skeptical people on the planet. They, and therefore I, had a scientific, non-magical explanation for nearly _everything_- elves, leprechauns, demons, magic, the whole lot of it. Child as I was, I may as well have had the mind of an adult and intellect that was far greater."

At this, not just Holly's, but several other pairs of eyes also rolled. Fowl continued, unfazed.

"Humans who are as well educated as I was at the time and who believed in fairies were crackpots, and I obviously had no intention of being labeled as such, so there was obviously _something_ that convinced me I had a chance of finding a leprechaun and that leprechauns had vast gold reserves. Remember when I had to get my memories back while you were a fugitive?" he asked Holly.

The elf nodded and gulped. That had been just hours after Commander Root had been killed.

"Even you, a living, breathing elf couldn't convince me entirely. Only my disk, recorded and stored by me, convinced me." The muscles in Artemis' folded hands visibly tightened as he concluded, "Therefore, residual memories left after N°1's wipe of _me and you_, Captain, could be the only thing that made me have an interest in fairies. Thus, the paradox."

The gentle whirling of computer cooling systems became the only sound bouncing around in the titanium-encased Ops Booth as four beings fell silent in shock.

True to his position, Trouble was the first to take the initiative.

"Alright Fowl, I really do _not_ want to believe you and I still don't get how Nature could be resetting, but I'm also not stupid enough to bet against your ideas."

The expected indulgent smirk never appeared on the boy's face as his expression remained grim and serious.

"So what do we need to do? I'm prepared for earthquakes and blackouts," Trouble said, then muttered something under his breath that sounded suspiciously like 'hopefully' to the demon standing next to him, "but shifting timelines was not part of my training."

Holly glanced back and forth between her boss and her human friend. She estimated five minutes. Five minutes between the time Artemis first called her and the time when Trouble began asking him for directions. The Mud Boy was obviously getting too good at convincing LEP officers to do as he needed them to. She made a mental note to give him a good smack in the head the next time she saw him, maybe knock a bit of that persuasive ability from his brain. Really, it shouldn't have been this easy.

Then again, maybe it was a good thing it was.

"Look Commander, the way I see it, it doesn't matter _what_ you can handle- _nobody_ can be ready for a time shift. Dwarves are disappearing, gnomes will be next, and soon, everyone, humans included will cease to exist in this timeline."

Trouble clenched his teeth in frustration and Holly could see him gripping the handle of his weapon in nervousness.

"Are you suggesting that I sit on my hands while Haven falls apart around my ears!?"

"No! That is one thing you _cannot _do. I might have a slight idea, but I need all the facts and…" the boy's face screwed up in a grimace, like he was trying so hard to force out his next words, "I need help."

"What kind of help?" asked Trouble immediately.

"Information… and… people. Specifically, I need Foaly, Holly and a warlock experienced with time dynamics, preferably N°1 or Qwan. I may have the beginnings of an idea of how we can avoid some of the effects, but I need expert help to flesh out the plan."

He looked over at Qweffor through the camera.

"No offense Qweffor," he added.

"None taken boy, but I _will_ be offended if there was something I could have done and you excluded me," the demon huffed.

"What can I do Artemis?" asked Holly urgently, determination and worry flashing across her eyes.

"I need you and the others aboveground- here."

"No can do Fowl," Trouble snapped back instantly, "I need Foaly here, and even if I wanted to send the others to you, the quakes are stopping all transportation between Haven and the surface, not to mention the centuries I would have to spend wading through the paperwork to authorize a kind of aboveground team that you're talking about."

"Foaly won't do you any good;" the boy retorted, "he can't control these events any more than you can. As for transportation, you can use magic- I'm sure if you use elevators to go up a few miles a short teleportation will be able to take you the rest of the way. And honestly Commander, paperwork? I thought former Retrieval commandos would be more resourceful than that."

The commander looked around at Foaly and Holly, seeing their subtle nods in his direction. His teeth started to grind, making a very unpleasant sound to those around him.

Trouble's mind seemed to be trying to wrap itself around a situation that it couldn't even really understand, and he spent several tense moments mulling over Fowl's suggestion.

"Fine," he finally sighed, defeated, "I wish I could go with them, but I need to stay here to keep a cap on the mess. How long do you reckon we have?"

The image of Artemis glanced at an unseen screen off to the side before responding.

"My calculations aren't finished yet, but from what I can glean so far, elves will be the last to go, with humans and centaurs disappearing at roughly the same time- anywhere from four days to six weeks from now, give or take a few hours. I'll have a more precise time frame by the end of the day."

Foaly gave a frightened noise and rubbed his hands together nervously.

"It would be best if they stayed here until we can find a solution, it would be more efficient and frankly, right now it is safer aboveground."

Trouble nodded in dour understanding then turned to the three in the room.

"Short, Foaly, pack up your things and be in front of HQ in twenty minutes- max! Qweffor, contact Qwan and have him do the same."

Those three immediately hurried out of the room, and Holly paused only to place a hand on the commander's shoulder and say a few words quietly.

"Good luck, Trouble."

Her friend placed a hand on her own for just a moment before pushing her gently towards the door.

"Go Holly." His tone was almost unemotional, but his elfish features told volumes worth of his worry and care, "I believe in you."

Holly nodded and walked past the doors with purpose.

Trouble turned back to the screen as soon as the pneumatic hissing of the closing doors ceased.

"You know Fowl, I _really_ hope you are wrong about this whole thing."

On the screen, Artemis let out a held breath before speaking.

"So do I Commander, so do I."

* * *

"Shall we?" quipped the small imp by the name of N°1 as he got the attention of an elf and a centaur and pointed towards an elevator shaft. The three started towards it, each holding a small pack of personal belongings.

Actually, Holly's and N°1's would be considered small, each being little more than a duffel filled with bare necessities and a few personal effects that would get them through what they hoped would be a short ordeal at the Manor.

Foaly's on the other hand, consisted of a large plastic suitcase as well as a saddle-like bag made especially for centaurs, filled to the brim with clothes, gadgetry, _two_ computers and a good supply of foil hats. There was more of course, but to list every item that he packed would have been an undertaking nearly as difficult as teaching a ten year old how to perform brain surgery; assuming, of course, that the child in question was not one Artemis Fowl.

Not having been to the surface for an extended period in nearly a century would indeed make one a poor packer for such an endeavor.

"Where's Qwan? I thought he was coming," asked Holly as they neared the elevator.

The imp frowned and shrugged his shoulders.

"Qwan couldn't be found in time, so I came instead. I hope he didn't disappear like I heard all those dwarves were doing."

The odd trio stepped into the dull steel elevator and heard the ancient doors shut with a groan, closing out the bright artificial sunlight projected on the city's false ceiling. It was, mercifully, a rather large industrial lift with grey checkered padding on each wall, so they all fitted quite comfortably despite their luggage.

Dropping his bags with a muffled metallic sound against the metal floor, Foaly took to the controls and began to punch in a rapid series of commands.

"Alright then, we're headed for outpost D24. That's about seven miles from the surface and five miles from Haven's main level. Can you get us to Fowl Manor from there?" asked the centaur to N°1.

"Sure, no problem Foaly, I got that covered," answered the imp cheerfully.

The metal elevator interior began to hum as its power cells charged up for their shot. Not a moment later, three stomachs dropped in their respective owners as the box shot up from the street level like a rocket. A stifled scream emitted from the centaur's mouth as his hand reached for the nearest padded wall. Holly, being the hotshot shuttle pilot, barely paid attention to the sudden change in speed, preferring to keep to her thoughts for the time being. As for the last member of the motley crew, he merely clutched his belly a little, but his broad, seemingly ever-present grin remained.

As the acceleration slowed and the elevator settled into a steady- and very fast- speed, N°1 spoke up.

"So… off to save the world, are we? How exciting!" he said with, well, excitement.

Foaly gave him a look before widening his eyes and turning to glance nervously at each of the walls and the floor.

"What am I doing here!?" he half cried, half moaned.

Holly patted him comfortingly on his back, despite the fact that somewhere in the back of her mind she was thinking a similar thought.

"Don't worry old friend, just think about the fact that you'll finally be able to meet Artemis Fowl in his own home- imagine all the, uh, _intellectual_ conversations you'll have."

Foaly made a noise that sounded something like _hurumph_ and then coughed loudly.

"Holly, the last time I was anywhere near Fowl Manor, we were preparing to drag you out of a cell and blue-rinse its inhabitants into tiny bits…"

N°1 gasped in horror.

"Now why in the world would that be!? Did that nice place become a battleground or something?" he asked incredulously.

The elfin captain decided at that point to not answer and drop the subject. Instead, she looked to the floor of the elevator as she bit her lower lip.

A silence went by for a good few seconds before anyone said anything again, though the imp did make a few annoyed sounds at being ignored.

"Uh… wait a second, did it ever occur to anyone that I can't shield and happen to be not nearly as humanoid as you two?" asked Foaly legitimately.

Holly continued to stare forward and remained surprisingly calm.

"Don't worry. If Artemis wants us in the manor, I'm sure he's prepared for that."

She just hoped that he, and she herself, was prepared for everything else that would follow.

* * *

Up on the sunny surface of the Earth, just feet above the rolling Irish Sea and a few miles from either coast, three beings and several bags appeared in a flash of red light.

Splashes were heard and small waves broke out in white foam and they plunged forcefully- and at strange angles- into the water.

Holly, somehow, was on the bottom and hit first, also becoming the first to surface. Water rolled down her suit in sheets, just as it was supposed to, but her helmet had been latched onto her bag and thus, her head was soaked with briny seawater, causing hair to alternately cling to her head and neck, or jut out into the air.

"D'Arvit!" she coughed out, spitting out salty water at the same time, "N°1, what's the big idea!?"

A pair of imp feet sticking vertically upwards rotated in the water and submerged as the creature' other end- namely his head- came out in its place.

"Um… sorry, I missed?" he said sheepishly as soon as he had let forth a jet of water from his own mouth.

"Argh! Irm druawneng!" yelled a distorted voice a short distance away.

Holly glanced towards the centaur to see him flailing around the water, six limbs trying helplessly to gain some kind of buoyancy.

Centaurs were never exactly good swimmers, being about on par in such activities with dwarves.

N°1 helped before Holly could.

In another flash of light, the three soaked bags, as well as their three soggy owners vanished.

**

* * *

Fowl Manor, Ireland**

Foaly- being the only member of the three fairies who was tall enough- reached a wet and hairy hand towards the doorbell.

The door opened before he actually touched the button though.

In the tall and admittedly intimidating doorway, stood a man who was far more intimating than the entrance itself in his own right.

"I saw you coming in the security cameras," Butler said in his bass tones, "It's good to see you again."

He gave the trio a once-over and his eyebrows raised a little. He didn't ask questions though.

"I'll get a towel… er, several towels," he said quickly, "but do come in."

"Thanks," said Holly, smiling appreciatively.

Butler disappeared into a side room as the fairies stepped into the foyer.

Foaly gave a low whistle when his eyes traversed the height and breadth of the room. The mansion itself had three stories plus several underground rooms. The foyer that the visitors were in stretched up beyond the ceiling of the first story, all the way up to the roof of the house where wide windows let the golden rays of the morning sun light up several paintings hanging on the walls above.

"Fowl sure has a nice place. Looks even better on the inside- especially when you're not attacking it," commented the centaur.

Butler arrived again with three fluffy white towels which were accepted by elf, imp and centaur with much thanks.

As Holly was wiping her thoroughly wet face and hair with the towel, a voice spoke up in front of them.

"We never do seem to be able to meet under amicable circumstances do we Captain?" came the cultured, but noticeably tense tones of Artemis Fowl.

Holly drew the towel away from her face to see the boy walking down from the broad carpeted staircase, his usual Armani suit and combed black hair giving little indication that he had been dealing with a potentially world-wide crisis.

'_He needs to learn how to greet people…'_ thought the elf disapprovingly.

The boy greeted each of his guests in turn with a stiff handshake that Holly thought was too formal even for him. She supposed he really _was_ stressed this time. He didn't even crack a smile at their rather embarrassing condition.

"Artemis, your parents?" asked Holly, glancing pointedly at Foaly.

The genius dismissed it with a wave of his hand.

"Don't worry about them," he answered simply, "as for my brothers, they are at a sleep-away camp in southern England with Juliet, so you don't have to be pestered by accusations of not being real."

At first, Holly thought it had been a bad joke on the boy's part, but seeing his expression, she realized he was being quite serious. That didn't stop either of her companions from giving a chuckle though.

"Fowl," said Foaly quickly, "we need to get to the bottom of this, so you had better start explaining what you know because it seems like that's a lot more than we're aware of."

Artemis' lip twitched into a near-smile.

"Of course I know more than you're aware, when has that ever _not_ been the case?"

'_Ah, there's the old Artemis,'_ thought Holly, but out loud, she said something else.

"We're being serious here Mud Boy."

Artemis gave a curt nod.

"Very well. If you'll follow me," he gestured towards a set of doors, "I will attempt to explain what I've found out."

* * *

The group- minus Butler who had inconspicuously spirited away with their bags- got seated around one side of a long oak table in what looked like a conference room. Windows that had been on one side where covered with thick curtains, shielding the fairies from the sun and instead, bright lights came from a pair of chandeliers hanging from the ceiling.

Four powered-up laptops were set before three chairs and an empty space. Two of the chairs had thick cushions placed on them to give them the added height needed for their occupants. Foaly had opted to stand.

Holly and N°1 had immediately pushed away the computers in front of them. The centaur on the other hand, placed several fingers delicately on a laptop.

"Liquid crystal screens, brushed aluminum touchpad, _fans_ for cooling!" He tsked. "How barbaric! I thought you'd do better _Master _Fowl," he said with a slight mocking tone.

Artemis shot him a cool glance from the head of the table.

"You should be glad I forewent the idea of incorporating fairy technology into my own. In any case, computer power will not be an issue for us."

He folded his hands again and waited until three pairs of eyes were directed at him.

"What _will _be an issue is how the events of the last few years are going to be replayed."

"So," quipped N°1, "just how far down does the rabbit hole go?"

Foaly and Holly turned towards him in confusion.

"It's from _Alice in Wonderland_. Human children's literature is actually very interesting!" he defended.

"In terms of time," began Artemis, "eight years and seven or eight months. That's as far back as I can trace the paradox, meaning that's when I had my first… ah, fairy related schemes."

He tried not to meet Holly's eyes, one of which was really his own. On the other side of the averted stare, Holly wasn't entirely sure how to feel about that incident herself.

"But in terms of events, people and places," he shook his head, "chaos comes in and they become impossible to pinpoint accurately."

"What do you mean, 'chaos'?" asked Holly, giving a questioning look.

"What Arty means by chaos is something like this:" answered Foaly, "imagine the world was a giant computer program that you had hooked up to a nano-scale particle analyzer, and on the computer you have a nice simulated spaceship starting out from Earth. Each change in the particle analyzer would change the speed or direction of the ship, like what we do to change the way the world is by the actions we take. But when you punch a hole through the machine and let some of the particles escape, like what's happening now, the commands become so jumbled that you can't tell where the ship would go even if you ran the program again!"

Elf and demon blinked several times in unison.

"What?" asked Foaly when he saw their looks.

Artemis coughed to get their attention.

"Excellent analogy Foaly, but I don't believe either member of your audience is sufficiently familiar with computer science or particle physics to quite grasp it."

Both 'audience members' nodded.

"Let me try," said the boy, "let's say you're a baker and you have a pile of dough into which you've put a handful of raisins. By mashing and rolling the dough, you can change their positions and spread them out. But another baker, even using the same dough and the same raisins cannot reproduce the exact same results, and because we don't know how the new baker likes to knead his dough, we have no idea where the raisins will end up, and how different it would be from the first batch."

"Ah," smiled the imp in understanding, "so the raisins are like the events and the baker in the timeline- different timeline, very different course of events."

Foaly grunted in dissatisfaction at losing out to the Mud Boy.

"Wait but then that means most of the things would turn out just about the same wouldn't they?" asked Holly.

"No." Artemis answered quickly. "Each and every action that was taken during the paradox will turn out differently. Remember Holly," he said urgently, "even excluding the effects of our… initial encounter, you and I were instrumental in suppressing the goblin rebellion and Opal's plot at that time and without those actions, Haven may very well have fallen. And even if the C Cube was never created since I wouldn't have had access to the technology, I doubt Opal, Cudgeon, or any of the goblin generals would have had the restraint to stop their activities from being noticed by humans."

Foaly paled and Artemis heard Holly curse under her breath in several languages, but N°1 looked most worried of them all.

"Artemis, what about the demons?" he asked quietly, the usual humor gone from his tone.

The boy's hands curled into tight fists and spoke in the most hesitant tone any of them had ever heard him use.

"From what I've calculated, and this is, of course, hypothetical… either Hybras breaks apart upon being lifted out of Limbo and the demon race ends up… suffocating in space due to their attraction to the moon… or it lands successfully and Leon Abbot leads a war against humans… where they are crushed by human technology."

The imp gulped and even his armor plating seemed to turn white at the prospect.

"The demon race ceases to exist…" whispered N°1.

Artemis looked at each one of them in turn.

"This is very possibly what is at stake. Now I _may_ have a plan to save _something_. But first, we're going to need to scout out the rabbit hole."


	3. The Book Revisited

**Artemis Fowl: The Book of Ages**

The Book Revisited

**

* * *

**The room was a conference room, yes, but that was not all it had been. In the past, some of Europe's- indeed, the world's- most powerful men had sat in the chairs of this room, all to meet with but one man: Artemis Fowl the First.

Back then, it was not exactly a friendly crowd, but it was certainly a crowd that could get things done. Illegal things, that is.

This room had been the nerve center for Artemis Fowl Sr.'s criminal enterprises. When meeting with his associates, the table became the nexus of what might have been looked upon as white-collar crime on steroids. With bars upon bars of gold in reserve, global connections rivaling the Mafiya, and an intellect as sharp as any Spartan sword, what could not be pilfered, hacked into, or forged?

But today, a meeting of a very different kind was taking place. And the attendees would have made a man of even Artemis Sr.'s standing fall still in astonishment.

"Artemis, you should probably tell us how you knew about the quake in the first place."

Holly gazed at her human friend intently, as if trying to read the expression on his face. It was something she had found herself doing often whenever she had seen him recently but even to emotionally well-tuned elfish eyes, it was hard for her to do.

Artemis inclined his head ever so slightly.

"Yes, that would be a good place to begin."

The laptop in front of him let out a single _ding_ sound, and the boy looked over briefly, but then turned back to the others.

"I realized it when I was telling my mother." He paused, but the pause was enough for the words to click in the fairies' minds.

"You told… your mother." Holly repeated, her mouth leaving a small gap after she finished.

"How much?" asked Foaly immediately afterwards, his face as serious as Artemis had ever seen.

"…most of it."

Artemis' hands moved around with a bit of uncertainty. He knew he had to present a good case now. Even though practically speaking, it didn't matter at all to the situation at hand, nor could it have been prevented, given that Angeline Fowl had basically been trapped inside her own mind while Opal took control of her body- while she was fully conscious. Still, it was a touchy matter for fairies, as any more people knowing about their existence than absolutely necessary was a threat to their civilization.

"She already knew an incredible amount after seeing Opal's memories."

"Wait," called Foaly, "you mean to tell me that your mother _saw _inside Opal's head?"

N°1 supplied Artemis' answer this time.

"Probably; that's how possession spells work. The two minds temporarily inhabit one body, and the spell-caster- in this case Opal- would have been mentally fighting Artemis' mother for control the whole time, causing memory transfer. Almost anything that Opal knew, Mrs. Fowl now knows." The imp's voice was still softer than it usually was, and his lips pressed closer together, since the memory of the possible demise of his species was still all too fresh in his thoughts.

"Right," agreed Artemis, "and I basically just filled in a few blanks- about my father, the Spiro heist, and my three year absence. And in case you were wondering, she was fully self-aware while you two," he gestured at Holly and N°1, "were here, so she's already seen you for herself."

Foaly sighed and rubbed his head with both hands. His tail flicked up against his rear in a very horse-like motion of annoyance.

"Where is she now?" asked Holly.

"St. Vincent's University Hospital in Dublin," answered Fowl, "She's with Father in one of his rehab sessions, after which I suspect they will be having lunch then coming back for a bit of swimming, something Father seems to have taken a liking to. In other words, she's staying with him and keeping him distracted."

"So she knows about this- and us being here," said Foaly flatly. It was more of statement than a question on the centaur's part.

"Yes. I assure you though, that she would be the last person on Earth to tell anyone about the People, perhaps even less inclined than I. Remember that she was here all along while the… less than charitable activities of the Fowl empire were taking place. Father trusted her, and I honestly do think that she has more power of will in the ways of secret-keeping than the rest of us combined."

Foaly grunted his reluctant acceptance.

"I gotta ask her what makes that pixie such a maniac one of these days," he muttered.

Out loud though, he said something else. "Fine. So, you were saying about the quake?"

"Like I was saying, while I was filling my mother in on our time travel activities, I realized what I had told you earlier this morning about my residual memories triggering the fairy schemes. I saw that the sequence of events leading up to my trip with Holly back in time was a _causa sui _set- something that is denied by essentially all scientific and philosophical paradigms."

Artemis didn't bother to translate the Latin as he might have done in other company. The fairies, he knew, were fully capable of understanding that it meant 'self-causing,' in essence, a paradox.

"Webber's theory then comes in, which states that timelines built on an unstable or semi-existent series of events- such as a paradox- decay rapidly as they go further from the point of instability. Previously, this particular theory was not well accepted by the scientific community since most assumed as I did, that paradoxes couldn't actually be created. But because of the possible implications, I immediately did some research and used some of my old calculations from the Hybras landing to reach a conclusion."

All ears were now hanging on the boy's words and three pairs of eyes watched his every movement. Artemis tried to slip into a calm, indifferent demeanor, but the severity of his findings stopped him from doing that too well. Maybe five or six years ago he could have done it, but then again, five or six years ago, he wouldn't have even considered trying to fix a problem like this.

"It's a bit complex, but the essence is this: elements of the Earth are realigning themselves with the way they were nearly nine years ago- the quake was due to the subtle shifting of Haven's underlying rock over those years reasserting their position in a matter of seconds. I do imagine that somewhere in the world, forests are reclaiming space where they have been cut down and air masses have been moving unnaturally fast. As for people, any sentient being with a sense of time passage will begin to phase into the non-paradox timeline- the one where I never had an inclination to kidnap a fairy- beginning with the most Earth-bound creatures. By Earth-bound, I mean that they are more connected with the natural movements of the planet and less with magic. Though magic is, in a sense, natural, in this case, it acts as an anchor to this timeline, whereas the Earth is like a force pulling us towards the 'correct' time."

"That's why you said dwarves first…" whispered Holly.

"Yes. Though they may be more inclined towards magic than humans, their inextricable link to the Earth pulls them away from our little paradox-universe first. Elves and sprites on the other hand, are the opposite, since they are so inclined towards magic."

"What about demons? They just got back from Limbo a year ago, would that play a role?" asked Foaly.

"I believe so. They are less in touch with our timeline than they would be naturally, so they would disappear faster, except for warlocks, which would take longer."

"We couldn't find Qwan this morning," said N°1 quickly, his voice rising in pitch as he spoke, "and he said that he hasn't been feeling well lately and didn't know why."

Artemis seemed to mull over the new information for a moment before his eyes widened.

"Oh no… of course… Qwan would have likely been the first to go. He's been a statue and tied to the Earth for over ten thousand years. He probably phased out earlier than anybody else did."

N°1's legs started to swing widely in front of him in worry, at time kicking the bottom of the oak table, which barely budged, but made a dull bumping noise.

The boy genius turned the laptop he had been using to face the others, showing them a complex series of equations and a three-dimensional graphic which looked more like a badly cut blob of gelatin than anything else to the fairies. He pointed at a set of numbers at the corner of the screen.

"The computers upstairs just finished going through the formulas and time flux models. For present company, I would be the first to go, in eight days plus a few hours."

Holly's eyes immediately drew away from the screen and towards the boy. She felt a lump starting to grow at an alarming pace in her throat and forced herself to push it down.

'_How can he be so calm about this!? Eight days… he's just a child!'_

These were the only thoughts going through her brain that she could put into words. There seemed to be others, but her conscious mind didn't seem to let her place a finger on them. They were… stronger emotions, similar to something she had felt before… but different. Reaching for their meaning was like trying to catch a wisp of smoke. But no wisp of smoke had ever made her feel like this before.

Artemis continued, trying desperately to ignore the turmoil going through his own head at the moment, and the fact that Holly was blinking so fast that her eyelids were a blur. It didn't take his doctorate in psychology and his master's degree in behavioral science to know that she was holding back deep and powerful feelings at the moment.

"Centaurs will go about a day after humans do and elves will be gone in six weeks. I'm sorry N°1, but I don't have enough information to tell when demon warlocks will go precisely, I can only say that it's between centaurs and elves, any more than that I don't know."

The imp nodded grimly, with an expression that didn't fit his usually happy demeanor at all.

Foaly rubbed his chin with worry clear on his face. It looked like he was studying the image, but a closer look at his gaze would reveal that he was looking _past _the screen, deep in thought, rather than actually at it.

"What's your margin of error?" asked the centaur, allowing the scientist in him to take the reins.

"Twenty-one percent," answered the boy promptly. "That means that we must work on the assumption that we- excuse me, I- have slightly under a week to act."

"You said you had a plan?" asked Holly with frantic urgency in her tones.

"I said I _may_ have a plan. And yes, theoretically, we may be able to save a few people in this timeline from shifting entirely to the new one."

"How?"

"We'll have to move temporarily into an alternate dimension to ride out the shift. Once we come back, we'll technically be new matter that wasn't supposed to exist in the new timeline, but we'll still survive, memories intact."

"Ah, now _there's_ an idea!" exclaimed N°1, a small smile spreading across his lips for the first time in many minutes. "We'll pull a retreat like my people did, go into Limbo and avoid the changes!"

"Yes," agreed Artemis, "but at best that will only buy us some time. Once we come out, we'll still enter directly into the new timeline. The question is, how many people can you send into Limbo?"

"Err…" N°1's face turned thoughtful for a moment, then quickly grimaced. "Three or four…"

"What!?" asked Holly loudly, "How can that be? Five of us brought back a whole demon colony _and_ the island they were on!"

"If I am not mistaken Holly," said Artemis, "that would be because the Hybras landing was more of a controlled crash when the island was already headed towards this dimension, whereas sending things into Limbo is a precision shot. There's also power amplification if I am not mistaken."

The imp next to him nodded.

"Qwan told me that each additional warlock that takes part in a dimensional spell increases its power exponentially, and having exactly five warlocks gives it an extra boost."

"Alright," agreed Holly with hope in her voice, "I'm here already, so we'll just get three more fairies and start getting people to safety."

"That… won't work." N°1 said flatly. "Like Artemis said, getting _into_ Limbo is a precise art, not just any magical creature can do it. It takes a warlock who is trained in temporal magic."

Foaly groaned loudly.

"You mean the temporal spells and formulas that we lost over the last ten millennia."

The imp nodded.

"Which means… me and Qweffor, since Qwan is gone and he was the one who knew how to work the magic enough for him to teach us."

A soft tapping noise suddenly came from Artemis. He rapped the table gently, trying to gather everyone's attention.

"I think that's enough discussion about that right now. We've established that we can send at least three people into the new time stream, but that doesn't matter if that's all we manage to do."

"What are you proposing?" asked Foaly slowly.

Instead of answering, Artemis pulled up a file on his computer and again turned it towards his companions.

Dozens of symbols that would be foreign to any other human on the planet flickered across the screen as flashes of light brown and gold, until they finally slowed and stopped, showing several lines of the odd glyphs. A single arrow pointed upwards from a corner of the screen, seeming to be of a brighter color than the rest of the markings.

"The Book…" whispered N°1.

"My Book," said Holly, her eyes narrowing slightly at Fowl.

Artemis shook his head and gave the elf a tiny, apologetic smile.

"Actually, no. You forget Captain, I had a copy before I met you. This particular image was taken from the pages of a Book belonging to sprite in Vietnam. A file I had saved from a little more than eight years ago," he added.

"Fowl, it's a fixed computer screen. If you want us to read it, I suggest you get it in linear form," said Foaly with slight indignation in his tone, "or do you want us to crane our necks reading in spirals?"

Artemis reached over and struck a few keys.

"I did not forget. My apologies Foaly, I had gotten used to reading it in spirals several years ago."

The text- if it could be called that- disappeared and gradually reappeared in horizontal lines.

Artemis read it aloud in its original Gnommish form.

"Follow me, seek me, and in my pages

See ye and heed ye, the Words of Ages

But before you do, be well forewarned,

My powers are not for those who scorned

The laws of Time, but only for

Those who have need n'er so great before"

There was a brief silence in the room when he finished, as the fairies tried to absorb what he had said.

"Your accent's really bad," commented N°1, being the first to break the silence.

"Can't blame me, can you?" responded Artemis, shrugging, "The kind of language used in the Book is really old, even for this Gnommish. Modern Gnommish is easier for me to navigate."

Deciding to ignore Artemis' breach of fairy etiquette by prying into their sacred texts yet again, Holly tried to recall the section where that passage was from.

"That's from the 98th commandment, the one on Timekeeping," she said finally.

"Yeah," agreed Foaly, drumming a finger on the table thoughtfully, "but if I remember my college seminars on the Book correctly, that's a part of the Timekeeping commandment that nobody- not even the scholars- understood. The rest of that commandment is about calendars, lunar cycles and whatnot."

"And," added the boy, "its form is slightly different too. Notice how everywhere else, the Book refers to itself as the ultimate resource of knowledge, but here, it tells the reader to find the 'Words of Ages,' and yet these three words never appear anywhere else in the text."

N°1 stared at the words with an odd expression of his small face. It looked like his features were scrunched up in concentration, trying to think of something that was eluding him.

"Makes it seem like somebody stuck that in after the original copy was created…" said Foaly.

"I still don't see it," said Holly, "how does this have anything to do with fixing the timeline?"

"It doesn't," said Artemis, his voice laced with sarcasm, "I just wanted to do a bit of poetry reading before we all disappear."

Holly nearly punched him right there. Fortunately for Artemis' flawless skin, the elf was across the table and too short to reach him.

But the look in her eyes was enough to lay his joking to rest.

"Fowl, shut up!" she yelled in frustration, "Or did you forget that if we don't figure this out, you go poof in a week!"

"Actually, it's more of a bang," muttered the boy, "but your point is well received," he said more clearly, "I'm sorry."

Holly groaned mentally. For all his genius, sometimes the Mud Boy could be such… a boy… a child. She sighed, maybe it was her, maybe in the end, she was simply expecting too much from a person who was technically still in childhood. Then again, he never gave her any reason to expect less.

"The idea is," explained the boy, "that this passage refers to a temporal catastrophe, and something which we could seek out for help in the event that it actually does occur."

Two mouths dropped- an elf's and a centaur's.

"You're… you're kidding right…?" asked Holly, stammering her words out, "You mean to tell me, that the solution has been hanging around my neck this _whole time_?"

She fished out her tiny copy of the golden fairy Book and stared at it oddly.

"No, no, not _the_ solution," said- surprisingly- N°1, "but a part of the solution."

Artemis raised a thin eyebrow at the imp, who, until then had remained quiet about the text.

"You know something about this?"

"Maybe… I don't know," he sighed, "I think I may have read something about this in some of the old Hybras scrolls- something about the Guardians of the Age and another sacred Book."

"Good, then maybe my idea has some merit after all," said Artemis with renewed vigor. His blue and hazel eyes both shone with the promise of a new challenge as his grim and hard-set lips twisted just in the slightest into what might have been seen as a smile.

"We need more information," said Foaly, rubbing his hands together.

"I could try to contact Qweffor and have him find the scroll and send it to us," offered the imp.

Artemis nodded.

"Let's move upstairs where I have a few more files on the time formulas so I can prepare a backup plan in case this clue does not pan out. We can set up a communications station there so you can contact Haven." He turned to the centaur. "Foaly, I presume you brought equipment that would be helpful to us?"

Foaly nodded eagerly, apparently glad to be handling his precious technology again after sullying his hands on human computers which were, in his mind, terribly obsolete.

"What about me Artemis?" asked Holly, feeling left out now that her friends all had jobs to do.

"Figure out what we'll need for a little… ah, treasure hunting expedition, and try to be thorough. We can send for supplies within the next day or so."

Holly jumped off the cushions on her chair, as did N°1, and the elf headed towards the door, knowing the room that Artemis had in mind.

She pushed one of the tall wooden double doors that led to the halls. The door opened about a foot until it was stopped by… well, a foot.

Holly looked up and saw a dark green cloth with a button on it. The fastener kind of button.

She heard a surprised gasp and realized that she was staring at someone's abdomen, covered by a very nice-looking blouse. Lifting her head higher, she saw a face that seemed to project refinement, yet give off a warm, comforting sense at the same time. An inch higher, Holly looked into the wide, shocked eyes of a woman.

"Captain Short…?" the human whispered breathlessly.

* * *

**A/N: **I'd just like to thank everyone who reviewed for the previous chapters, and especially ilex-forex who helped correct a spelling and a bit of last chapter's style. The new timeline's pretty much all layed out already and I have a few surprises coming once we get there... Oh yeah, one last thing. The chaos theory as described by my raisin bread analogy that people seemed to like is real, but Webber's theory in this chapter is completely made up, just in case any quantum mechanics genius out there wants to hammer me about it.


	4. Two New Pages

**A/N:** Thanks to Verity Strange for corrections with the number of years between events. Somebody's obviously been paying very close attention, good job!

* * *

**Artemis Fowl: The Book of Ages**

Two New Pages

* * *

"Ah… Mother… you're home early," came a particular boy genius' oh-so-smooth response to the room's newcomer.

"Well, yes, your father's therapy ended early," said Angeline Fowl hesitantly, though her eyes and her mouth seemed to be operating very independently, her gaze jumping from fairy to fairy in the room.

Several seconds passed without anyone saying anything. The only real movement in the room came from Foaly's tail swishing from side to side and Holly taking a step back after nearly bumping into the Fowl matron.

It was a rather odd sight if you actually stopped to think about it. A boy genius, a three foot elf, a similarly short imp, a centaur, and of all people, the boy's mother all staring blankly at each other from across the space of a few feet.

You had to almost feel sorry for Artemis at this point. Not just because he now had the awkward task of introducing an elf, a centaur and an imp to his mother, but more so because the teen had never introduced friends to anyone before. Ever.

It was too bad for Master Fowl then, because he was going to have to do something like this _eventually_. At least now he could say to his mother that he had had childhood friends. A bit late, but better than nothing.

Did he ever actually have someone to even call a friend meeting the People? If the question was posed to him, Artemis would have probably given a strange look for a few moments before declaring that psychologically speaking, friends weren't absolutely necessary and that he'd turned out fairly normal without such things for most of his life. He could probably also cite several prominent psychological studies to prove his point.

Fairly normal… right.

"Arty," said Angeline finally with a hint of amused exasperation in her voice "aren't you going to introduce your friends?"

Artemis coughed into his hand.

"Yes, of course." He stood up a bit stiffly. "Mother, that is Captain Holly Short of the LEP, this is Specialist Foaly, and this is apprentice warlock N°1." He motioned almost mechanically towards each of the fairies in turn.

The elf and centaur each elected to give a weak wave, but N°1- ever the enthusiast- nearly bounced his way to Mrs. Fowl and reached a hand up to hers with a wide grin on his face, the prospect of meeting and befriending another human making his former gloom disappear quickly.

Angeline's mind was still a bit shocked by all the sudden meetings, but fortunately, her social reflexes- honed at countless meetings with some of the most boring men and women on the planet- responded before she realized. She bent down a little to take the diminutive creature's hand, and though her own palm almost completely covered the imp's he still managed to give her what would have been considered a hearty handshake.

"Mrs. Fowl! A pleasure to meet you and I do hope you're feeling much better!" Suddenly, his shaking stopped and he twisted his head back to Artemis. "This _is_ how humans still do it right? A handshake?"

"Er, yes, yes it is." Minutes later, Artemis would mentally berate himself repeatedly for the use of the word- or rather, non-word- 'er.'

Angeline's response was much more composed and cordial.

"I am much better now, thanks to all of you." She spoke the last part to everyone in the room, Artemis included. "And I suppose I should thank you again, Captain Short for helping me the first time."

"You're… welcome Mrs. Fowl," muttered Holly, somewhat taken aback by Angeline's friendly and socially adept words. Apparently _somebody_ in the family hadn't gotten his share of social graces from his mother.

Artemis coughed again.

"Mother, I would hate to cut the introductions short, but we have a bit of a tight schedule right now, and I was just about to bring our guests upstairs so we can set something up to contact their superiors."

"Oh my! Of course," said Angeline, "the earthquake predictions you were helping with. Well, don't let me get in your way then, off you go! We'll talk more later when you're less busy. I _must_ hear about all these adventures Arty's been having. I should think he embellished them more than he should have when he told me."

"Thank you," said Artemis as he began to lead the fairies out of the room, pausing only to give his mother a small kiss on the cheek as he went by.

Holly quietly excused herself and N°1 waved widely as if he wasn't going to see the woman for a long time. Foaly on the other hand, stopped before following his companions.

"Is it true that you really saw Opal's memories?" he asked Angeline with curiosity obvious in his voice.

Angeline grimaced. "Yes, unfortunately."

"Would you mind telling me a few things about that later on?"

The woman gave a tight smile. "Not at all. Her memories are quite interesting… if rather self-centered."

As Angeline Fowl watched the receding backs of her son and his guests she couldn't help but realize that the male Fowls always seemed to acquire such… peculiar acquaintances. She almost shivered at the thought of what kinds of friends Myles and Becket would bring home when they went to primary school.

At this rate, dragons and green spacemen might not be too far off. Hopefully they would at least be affiliated with law enforcement like Arty's friends were rather than criminal empires like her husband's associates had been.

Angeline sighed. Or, maybe she could hope that her two youngest children would turn out a bit more… ordinary.

Yes, ordinary would be nice too.

* * *

**Police Plaza, Haven City**

Twelve miles underneath the surface of the Earth, a very interesting question was being answered.

What happens when an entire species suddenly vanishes into thin air? Apparently without reason, without warning and without a trace.

It was a question once thought to be left to the more eccentric portion of Haven University's Philosophy department professors and their equally eccentric PhD students; which, of course, saw their numbers expand rather nicely after a species of fairy long thought to be extinct suddenly reappeared early last year.

But right now, metaphysics was the last thing on Commander Trouble Kelp's mind. He was always more of a crunchball player than a scholar back in his college days- still is.

It was him though, who was quickly finding out the answer to that particular question.

"Shut down the shuttleports! Absolutely _no_ pods are to be launched unless I _personally_ give the word, in writing, with my own signature on it!" yelled the Commander.

Unlike his predecessor and especially Sool's predecessor, Trouble Kelp did not turn red under pressure.

Fine, so maybe his ears turned a little pink, but it was only a little. Plus, he didn't smoke. Still, he wondered during the ever so brief respites in the chaos around him what the ever-red, cigar-puffing Commander Root would have done in his place.

Trouble decided without too much thought that he'd probably be having blood pressure problems.

Police Plaza was, at the moment, in what some of the junior officers had dubbed 'red-alert mode'. Reports were coming in so quickly that the fairies manning the telephones didn't even bother to put the devices down anymore- they would ring as soon as they were put down anyway. Several of the LEP's more burly officers kept a veritable mob at bay in front of the plaza, all with their reflective helmets down to avoid having their faces photographed as they tried to enforce order amid the chaos. Only the constant trickle of emergency response crews going in and out of the plaza were allowed past the guards with the shiny guns.

Every last fairy on the force, reserve or otherwise, had been activated. It was less to make up for the lack of people due to the dwarves disappearing- there were never too many dwarves on the force to begin with- than it was because of the sheer number of people needed to respond to the multitude of emergencies that were cropping up every single second.

"Com-m-mander," stammered a sprite who had just popped out of one of the offices. His arm snapped up in a salute, military-style, but it was obvious by his body language that he was having trouble with the situation. Then again, who wasn't?

Trouble waved the younger officer's salute away dismissively.

"What news do we have?" he asked, keeping his voice level.

"Logistics is reporting that about a quarter of the dwarf population has disappeared, but no other quakes have been detected. Haven's defenses have begun activation and we should be fully shielded within the hour." The words left the sprite's mouth in a long unstopping string and it didn't look like he had taken a breath for the whole time. He took a deep breath after though.

The Commander sighed. The shielding was not really to protect the city. Against the things that were causing problems within the metropolis, there was little anyone could do. It was more to stop any of the hysteria-stricken population from doing anything stupid that might have been detected outside Haven. Like on the surface.

"Alright," said Trouble tiredly, "thanks for the update, now get back to your post."

"And say some prayers while you're at it," he muttered while the sprite was walking away.

The sprite didn't hear him.

* * *

**Fowl Manor, Ireland**

The group actually ended up in Artemis' own bedroom. It was probably a bit smaller than one would have expected from the son of a multi-millionaire, but because of their own size, it still seemed fairly large to the fairy visitors.

Foaly had picked up one of his bags from another room on his way there and was gleefully unzipping a well-insulated package. Artemis motioned for the other two to take a seat on a large leather armchair at one corner of the room, next to a bookshelf with rows upon rows of reference books lined up meticulously side by side. The elf and the imp ended up sitting together on the same chair, still leaving a bit of space left over on either side of each fairy. Meanwhile, Artemis was typing into his personal computer what appeared to be a ridiculously long password after which he placed a palm against a scanner that was sitting guard-like next to the screen.

"Finally, modern technology!" chortled Foaly happily as he pulled out of his luggage what looked to be a block of pale green plastic with several indentations on one end.

Artemis raised his eyebrows appraisingly at the device in the centaur's hands.

The block- because it really did look like that more than anything else- was a single color, practically featureless except for the indents, and, it was the size of a book Artemis might have been reading when he was five or six.

One of the university-level science texts, that is.

It was maybe three times as thick as the computers they had just left downstairs, and a hundred times less exciting to look at.

The centaur didn't miss Artemis' expression. He sniffed haughtily.

"Don't think for a second that this is _anything_ like your laptop Mud Boy," he warned, quickly getting defensive about his technology. "This little baby here has about two times the power of your human 'Blue Gene' supercomputer-" Foaly snorted, "super- right… and eight hundred terabytes worth of storage."

Artemis smirked.

"And what could you possibly use all that wonderful space for? Human movies?"

He already knew the answer to that one. He'd… visited… this particular machine a few weeks after returning from Limbo, just out of curiosity as to how much Foaly's inventions had advanced in his absence.

Foaly huffed. "There's a lot more than just _that_ in these beauties!" he complained.

"Right," Artemis' grin widened, "there's the _normal_ version of each movie, then there's the widescreen high definition version, the extended version, special anniversary version, the French, Spanish, Chinese, and Russian editions and… well, you know, I'm sure. I hadn't known there were so many different variations of the same movies."

Holly rolled her eyes and glanced to N°1 sitting next to her, who was listening with an oddly curious expression.

"Boys and their toys…" she muttered.

Foaly was in the middle of watching his machine load up as several previously unseen lights lit up across the plastic. He suddenly stopped and whipped his head around to face Artemis.

"You _hacked_ into-"

Holly cleared her throat loudly to get their attention.

"Uh, timeline collapse anyone? Plans? Working on communications?"

"Right," responded two males simultaneously, though Foaly quickly shot Artemis a dark look before placing his own machine on the ground and voice-activating it.

"Foaly ten-twenty-four. Secure connection. Police Plaza, Trouble."

A glowing, pale blue sphere suddenly appeared in the air above Foaly's contraption. Though it was slightly translucent, it was maybe the size of a plump watermelon. But it looked more like a gently lit-up moon than anything else. There was no noticeable part of the machine that was producing the image.

The light pulsed once, then stilled.

"Fancy telephone you have there," commented Fowl lightly as he turned back to his own screen and started to pull up files.

A flat image of a ruffled-looking Commander Kelp resolved a moment later in place of the hologram. He got straight to the point, speaking without preamble.

"Haven's going to hell down here. _Please_ tell me somebody has some good news."

"Well hello to you too, Trouble," replied Foaly sarcastically.

The floating image glared at the centaur, who was quickly pushed out of the way by Holly.

"Artemis says there's a way-"

"There _might_ be a way," interrupted the boy without looking up.

Holly shot him a look that went unnoticed.

"… that there _might_ be a way to fix the timeline."

Trouble let out a breath, but didn't speak. He was waiting for the catch.

"There's an odd passage from the Book that seems to point to a possible solution; the last part of the Timekeeping commandment."

The commander's brow creased, but then he quickly pulled out his own copy from one of his uniform's many pockets.

"Keep talking captain," he instructed as his nimble fingers flipped through the delicate pages with expert precision.

"So there's supposed to be an old magical relic of some sort that was there specifically for emergencies like this, and N°1 believes there might be more information about it in the old Hybras scrolls."

She paused. The first reason was because there wasn't much more to say at that point, and after realizing this, it occurred to the elf that this didn't seem like that great of a plan. The second reason was because Trouble had reached what he was looking for, and was now wearing a look of genuine surprise and confusion on his elfin features.

"Holly…" he said slowly.

The captain flicked her eyes towards her companions nervously. He was probably going to tell her how stupid the whole thing sounded, which, at this point, might have very well been the case. Of course, she could always blame the Mud Boy- it _was_ his idea.

"…correct me if I'm wrong." Trouble turned to face the screen again. "There are one hundred commandments and one hundred and one pages in the Book, right?"

Holly's brow creased noticeably.

"Yes… a page for each commandment, and an introductory page," she said slowly.

This was common knowledge. Any fairy- schooled or unschooled, criminal or council member, one hundred years old or a thousand years old, was supposed to know this.

"And no pictures right?" asked Trouble.

'_Obviously,'_ thought Holly, _'it's pure Gnommish- any idiot knows that!'_

"What are you getting at Commander?" she asked hesitantly.

The commander suddenly held up his tiny volume to the camera, and the floating image in Artemis' room flickered momentarily, adjusting to the new lighting.

The minuscule page showed, instead of the expected wall of symbols, an odd shape spread out across two pages. It was shaped almost like an ameba, vaguely rhombus-like. It was just an outline, but a strangely beautiful one. The golden ink that composed the rest of the symbols in the Book were also used here, and through the relayed image from Trouble's office, it still shimmered in the artificial light.

"That's new," muttered Foaly with eyes wide.

"I'll say," grumbled Trouble, pulling his Book back, "it was on the two pages right after the commandment you were talking about."

"Let's not jump to conclusions now," came Artemis' calm voice, "After all, it could just be a fluke, an ink spill, if I may."

Foaly snorted.

"You really _don't_ know much about the Book, do you?" he asked.

Artemis waited expectantly, rather than responding.

N°1 offered the explanation.

"Our Book can't be changed after it's made. Anyone who tries to change anything in it would just see the Book crumble into dust in his hands."

The boy nodded in understanding. "That makes sense. That would be part of the Book's own protective magic I've heard about." He paused for a moment to think. "Has it ever changed like this before?"

"Once." Foaly answered, "The warning about Mud Men in the first page of the Book wasn't always there. It was just sort of not there one day and there the next, not that any fairy would have exactly handed a Book to a human at that point. It was around ten thousand years ago."

"After the Battle of Taillte" finished Artemis.

The centaur nodded.

"Let's see then," said Holly as she again pulled out her own Book and flipped through its wafer-thin pages.

After only a moment, the others were standing behind her, looking over her shoulders.

And there it was again.

The same shape, the same shining curves and meanders. The same extra two pages.

"What do you know, page one-oh-two and one-oh-three," mused Foaly, scratching his chin, "I'm guessing it's a universal change then."

"That's really helpful of the Book, don't you think, helping us out with the timeline and all?" asked N°1 cheerfully.

"Or," came Trouble's image again, "it could be part of something completely different."

Holly glanced backwards for a second only to see Artemis staring intently at the Book in her hands. It wasn't his usual contemplative look either. It was like he was using his eyes to peel his way past the image and cut away a shroud covering some essential piece of information.

"Artemis?" she asked.

He bent closer to look at the shape, but he didn't touch the pages.

"I feel like… I've seen this shape before…" he murmured.

"Biology textbook?" asked Foaly, raising an eyebrow.

"No, no. It's something else. Not something living, at least I don't think so."

N°1 suddenly waved at the screen to get the commander's attention.

"Uh, hello, Trouble- I mean, Commander, sir, I was wondering if you could call Qweffor for me, and tell him to send a copy of an old scroll from the Hybras Archives- one about the Guardians of the Age."

Trouble nodded, but somewhere, the action hero in him was yelling that this was no time to be doing heavy research.

A sound emitted from the green device before anyone else could say anything.

_BEEP… BEEP…_

Four pairs of eyes shot back towards the hovering image of the LEP commander, who was himself looking at something unseen to the others.

"Sorry," he muttered, "I have to take this, might be important."

The image went black for an instant, before quickly turning back into the floating blue orb.

"Why would _that_ phone go off at a time like this?" asked Holly to the centaur standing next to her.

Foaly shrugged.

"What phone?" asked Artemis, curious.

Foaly gave a low, humorless chuckle. "Well, I guess you're not as up to date on movies as you'd like to think."

The boy quirked an eyebrow in question. "I suppose not."

"That sound's featured on nearly half the action films made underground: the Retrieval One signal."

The green fairy computer let off a soft chirp as Trouble's face once again appeared above it.

"We have a tiny bit of good news," began the commander cautiously, "though I'm not sure if it's going to matter after a little while. LEP Retrieval just called in, and it seems they've rounded up one Opal Koboi."

* * *

**A/N: **Sorry about the long wait, it's been a busy week and a half and I've had to write in very, very short sessions.


	5. Out of Time

**Artemis Fowl: The Book of Ages**

Out of Time

* * *

**Police Plaza, Haven City**

Commander Trouble Kelp let out a long breath of air.

One of his old teammates from his Retrieval days had recommended shortly before he became commander that he take up breathing exercises. The gnome had told him that it would help calm his fraying nerves and help him avoid some of the worst of the on-the-job stress. Trouble was doubtful at the time, but he tried anyway. It seemed now, years later, that his old teammate was right.

Either that or it felt that way because Trouble only ever remembered to take long, deliberate breaths when good news came in.

"It looks like the quake took Opal by surprise as much as it did anyone else. Retrieval found her in one of her company's older warehouses after a neighbor reported someone being trapped inside. Her leg got trapped under a roof beam and the boys just picked her up from there."

Holly stared at him from aboveground.

"You mean she didn't put up any resistance?" she asked, incredulous.

Trouble gave a thin smile.

"Sure she did. The little maniac had DNA cannons surrounding the whole place coded to everyone but herself. No electricity in that sector though, so they were less dangerous than your average flashlight." The Commander chuckled quietly. "Well, there was that, and her leg was broken in three places where the beam hit. It was supposed to be worse before, but her magic took care of some of the damage before she ran out."

"Serves her right," muttered Holly through the connection.

"Officially, I can't agree that harm coming to a member of the population like that is a good thing," said Trouble, "but off the record, you're absolutely right. Saved my guys a lot of work too."

He took another deep breath.

"How far along are you on the topside then?"

Holly shifted her weight around uncomfortably.

"We know that we have about a week to act… unless we can do something about this whole problem when elves are just about the only sentient beings left on the planet."

"Wait!"

Surprisingly, it was Artemis who made the exclamation.

"What Mud Boy?" asked Trouble gruffly.

His eyes seemed to dart around in uncertainty before they finally settled back on the commander.

"Opal… Opal isn't supposed to exist."

That caught the LEP officer off guard.

He looked at the image of the pale human through his crystal screen for a moment with narrowed eyes.

"Boy, are you _sure_ you don't need a shrink?" asked Trouble suspiciously, "'Cause I know you hate her for trying to kill you and all, but _really_! 'Opal's not supposed to exist!' You don't sound like you're not all there Fowl."

Artemis gave the elf a frustrated look before pointedly rolling his eyes.

"Thanks a lot for the concern _Commander_, but I am quite sane and well; your doubt is misplaced." He seemed to look around at the other fairies with him, but only half of Holly's face could be seen from Trouble's end and none of the others were on camera, so it might have appeared that the boy was staring around the room- quite like a delusional person.

"I'm surprised nobody noticed it before," he continued, "Opal shouldn't be able to exist here because if she is here, and she knows who I am and my connection to the LEP, then accordingly, I should have been her first target before launching the goblin rebellion. Or," Artemis held up a finger, looking for all the world like a professor explaining some brilliant new discovery to his student, "better yet, she is here, and therefore she could not have aided the goblins in the past. Yet we know that it did indeed happen."

"You mean to tell me…" said Trouble slowly, "that there is _another_ paradox here!?"

Artemis suddenly disappeared from the screen, sliding off the edge, though his voice was still there.

"Of course! I should have seen it before!"

Trouble could hear the furious tapping of keys on one of the old alphanumeric keyboards that the humans still used.

"That's why my error margin was so wide. There was more than one paradox set in the timeline!"

* * *

**Fowl Manor, Ireland**

It seems like they were back to square one.

Artemis had made all his predictions based on the fact that he and Holly were the focal points of the paradox, that _his_ actions- with some help from the fairies- were what caused the break in time. But now, there was another person and a whole other related, but separate series of events to consider, he had to redo everything. It was not boding too well with the boy.

Holly Short looked up from her tiny list of supplies. Treasure hunting, Fowl had said. Pretend it's a treasure hunting trip. Wonderful.

'_Supposedly,'_ thought Holly, _'I'd pack an LEP omni-sensor, a pair of wings, a moonbelt, my standard uniform, maybe a few rations and that'd be that.'_

Simple.

But since when was doing _anything_ with Artemis Fowl a simple thing?

The captain stopped trying to add to her increasingly ridiculous list of items that would be needed in an emergency. A snow shovel- really! Of course, there was that one time in the Arctic when it might have been helpful…

Artemis had mentioned that it might be necessary to take a detour through Limbo in case they were too late to avoid the shift to the new timeline. That, in and of itself would be a whole new problem. Since Hybras warped into this dimension already, was there even any land left in the place to walk on?

"Treasure hunting…" muttered the elf under her breath with an annoyed tone.

Holly's eyes flitted absently around the room and saw that the others were all in silent concentration. N°1 wore a hard look of determination as he leaned over several spread-out printouts of the old demon legends, as if he was trying to glean some sort of picture from the complex stories unfolded before him. Foaly and Artemis were huddled over the centaur's computer as Artemis tried at once explaining his theories to Foaly and reevaluating the sequence of events now that there were _two_ holes in the fabric of space and time. It didn't look like he was having too much success.

She could see the stress lining the boy's face. The furrows in his pale brow and the slight downturn at the edge of his lips combined with the relentlessly calculating look in his mismatched eyes gave his face subtle distortions that made him look far older than he was. Perhaps he did joke even now, but the tension he held was clear from where the elf stood.

Maybe a few years ago Holly wouldn't have minded at all to see Fowl having such trouble with a problem. But now it was disturbing to the elf. There was something she was missing though. Certainly, given the situation she would have to be disturbed at seeing a friend have difficulty facing it, but a portion- a tiny portion, but nonetheless a portion- of her worry wasn't _just_ about Artemis being able to solve the riddle that now stood before them all.

There was something else in that expression that bothered her.

Holly turned back at her list, looking away from the frustrated boy and pushing her own mental puzzlement aside, at least for the moment.

Would a radiation suit be of any use?

* * *

"There _has_ to be a way to solve this!"

Artemis grumbled quietly, staring at the floating sea of symbols before him. Foaly had long given up trying to understand the intricacies of temporal mechanics and was instead helping N°1 comb through the legends. Every now and then, the pair would start speaking in excited but hushed tones, careful not to disturb the others, or to alarm anyone downstairs.

Between Foaly, N°1 and Artemis, Holly felt like she was the only one who wasn't contributing. It wasn't a good feeling since the thing she was trying to contribute to was a plan to save the world as she knew it.

A quiet knock came from the bedroom door.

Three fairies froze, and Holly noted her teeth clenching involuntarily. Foaly looked worriedly at the swirling holograms floating above his decided un-human-like computer.

Artemis glanced quickly at the door.

"Freeze program, standby projection system," he whispered softly, causing the hologram to fade noiselessly into thin air.

Artemis moved swiftly to the door, his footsteps muffled by the thick carpeting under his feet. He looked through the tiny peephole for just a moment before his shoulders seemed to relax. Somewhere in the back of Holly's mind, the elf wondered why Artemis would even _have_ a peephole in his own bedroom door.

Was he really that paranoid? Well, if he was, then the centaur by his bed would give him good company for it.

"It's Butler," he announced calmly before opening the door.

The giant Eurasian manservant said a single hello before letting his eyes scan the room, undoubtedly looking for any tiny threat that he might have missed since the last time he was there.

'_Once a bodyguard, always a bodyguard'_ thought Holly dryly. That was probably a good thing too, for Artemis at least.

She saw his eyebrows rise ever so slightly when he saw what she and the other fairies were doing. Foaly and N°1 probably looked hard at work- maybe she did too- and they were working with paper no less!

But Butler quickly turned back to his former charge.

"Artemis, Mrs. Fowl wants you to join her and Mr. Fowl for lunch. She also asked," the man's eyes flitted back to the others briefly to address them, "what you three would like to have."

'_Well, that would be odd,'_ thought Holly, _'lunch at Fowl Manor.'_

Technically, it wasn't her first time. The first time _that_ ever happened, she was sitting in a cold concrete prison, back when Artemis seemed more like an evil mini-vampire than even a human. Holly shivered, wondering if that room still existed somewhere in the manor. The second time wasn't so great either. That was just a bit after an American hit man had tried to kill Artemis.

Artemis sucked in a quick breath and his eyes seemed to widen.

"Tell Mother we'll be downstairs in a little bit."

Butler nodded before turning a gently closing the door behind him.

"Ah, Artemis, maybe it's just me," said Foaly, "but wouldn't it be rather… troublesome to have lunch here, with your parents home and all?"

The boy waved off the question impatiently.

"That _may_ be the key!" he exclaimed, "Mother has all of Opal's memories, so I could use that information to recalculate the changes!"

N°1 grinned widely.

"I knew I liked Mrs. Fowl!" he said eagerly.

"I'll have to talk to Mother," Artemis muttered. A look crossed his eyes for a moment that Holly didn't seem to be able to place, but it was gone so fast that she thought she might have imagined it. He turned back to Holly and the others. "Don't worry about my parents, you three can have lunch in the west dining room. If you'll excuse my poor manners for not being there with you now, I'll keep Mother and Father entertained long enough so that I can get out and rejoin you."

* * *

Twenty minutes later, Holly Short was munching contently on a fresh garden salad. The Fowls grew all their own fruits and vegetables, so she couldn't complain about any pesticides or gene manipulation in the meal- Angeline made sure they didn't exist in _her_ garden. Holly would probably never admit it, but the salad was actually much better than the underground variety grown in sterile hydroponics labs. Those tasted fine, but they lacked a certain earthy texture that only plants grown in natural soil and sunlight could have.

Foaly was making some very indiscreet chewing noises across from her as he finished off his last carrot- also from the Fowl grounds. But he was more interested in the set of notes that he had taken, in his own messy scrawl, about the Hybras legends over the last few hours.

N°1 had also helped a great deal with writing the notes though he seemed more absorbed in his fascination with his newly discovered food.

He had been poking at a bowl of cereal for the greater part of the last few minutes and watching the flakes float around with the scrutiny of a scientist, only occasionally lifting the spoon up to take a bite.

"You're sure about this?" asked Holly carefully, pointing her fork at the paper that was in the centaur's hands.

Foaly looked up with an exasperated expression.

"For the last time Holly, yes! It's the best info we have now and it looks pretty promising."

"Still," said the captain, "I don't like the idea of waiting it out." She was already feeling somewhat useless, since her role didn't seem nearly as important as the others'.

"Technically, you can wait indefinitely in Limbo without too many problems, assuming you brought enough food," Foaly pointed out.

"That's exactly what I _don't_ want to do," muttered Holly. The idea of waiting weeks, months or even possibly years in a place where time meant little with maybe two or three others wasn't particularly appealing. If she was going, she could probably guess the identities of at least two others who would be going with her.

Holly wondered how long she could spend with N°1 and Artemis Fowl before she went insane. It probably wasn't too long. She visualized herself giving a long speech in techno-babble and then trying to make friends with any and every being she laid eyes upon.

Holly shuddered. Creepy.

A door creaked behind her and the elf tensed up at the sound before relaxing again upon seeing who it was.

Artemis nodded to each of them before taking the last seat on the table.

"So, what did I miss before lunch?" he asked Foaly expectantly, "It seems like you and N°1 were making a lot more progress than I was."

The centaur sighed theatrically.

"Alright, so we have the good news and we have the bad news, which do you prefer first?"

"The bad news then," replied Fowl smoothly.

Foaly tilted his head and scratched his chin before speaking again.

"Uh, actually, the bad news doesn't make sense unless you know the good news first."

"Fine," said Artemis with a hint of amusement in his voice, "the good news then."

"So, after reading through this ridiculously long demon epic about the foundation of Hybras, cutting away all the useless and irrelevant information-"

Holly coughed loudly.

"Get to the point!" she hissed. Foaly had done the same thing when he was telling her about it.

"Okay, okay, I thought elves were supposed to have more patience than that. Anyway, the heroes of the epic- who, interestingly enough were only called the Elder and the Younger- were demon warlocks who were supposed to start the colony of Hybras. They were guided by a book to a continent, of which Hybras is actually just a little chunk. We're not sure if this book that they mention is _the_ Book, but it was made pretty clear that this continent was not easily found and that it probably holds more magic than the rest of the People put together.

"They found something called the Book of Ages on it, but were only warned never to touch it. When the battles with humans started, and the People started losing, as you know, Hybras was lifted into Limbo. But these two warlocks actually went back to this dimension secretly to find this Book of Ages thing which they claimed could help them solve their problems. The last part of the myth is actually a log sent to Hybras from our dimension by the Elder. I assume Leon Abbot hid the logs. Anyway, it ends with these two being really close to finding the Ages thingy and then just stops. No resolution, no happily ever after. The whole thing reads like a fairy tale to me, only one with a really annoying ending."

"Fairy tale…" muttered Artemis, "you're one to talk…"

Foaly made an indignant sound before continuing.

"Good news: the continent seems to be the shape that we saw in the Book earlier. Bad news: according to the myth, new information is only given when we absolutely need it, so no more new pages in the Book until who knows when."

Artemis closed his eyes in thought.

"A continent, yes, that makes sense."

Holly could see the excitement running through his features as he opened his eyes again.

"That's what it is, no wonder I recognized it."

"You know about it?" asked N°1, clearly surprised. He looked like he had forgotten about his cereal while Foaly was talking.

"Think about it, a lost continent that no one can find, it actually _does_ fit quite well."

To Holly, the 'lost continent' part sounded all too familiar coming from a human, which wasn't a good thing.

"Artemis…" she said slowly, "I hope you realize that Atlantis is actually a thriving fairy metropolis and that we _can_ find it pretty easily, since a lot of us _live_ there."

The boy actually let out a short chuckle.

"No, believe it or not, I'm not _that_ ignorant. I don't mean Atlantis. Let me see that page in the Book again."

Holly obliged and opened her own copy to the page with the odd shape on it.

Artemis nodded in satisfaction when he saw it.

"Yes, I was right. My dear friends, we are looking here at the continent of Mu."

A dramatic silence settled in the room as the fairies in it stood in shock and awe.

Then N°1 spoke up.

"We're looking at the continent of _what_?"

…maybe not such a dramatic silence. Or so much shock and awe.

"I guess I shouldn't have expected anyone to know what that was," sighed Artemis.

"You know that most human knowledge of supposedly 'lost' continents is completely wrong right, even if a lot of it is pretty funny?" asked Foaly.

"Yes," agreed Fowl, "but considering the shape of the continent and a few key facts about it, this is almost certainly it."

Artemis ran his fingers through his hair, trying to draw up the knowledge of all the strange lands, languages and symbols that had led him to the People years ago.

"Back when I was… looking into financial reserves of a non-human nature…"

"You mean looking to steal fairy gold," accused Holly.

"Yes," agreed the boy guiltily, "that. I found that almost every culture in the world referenced some variation of the same kinds of magical beings, fairies, naturally. One of the more… disputed sources was from a nineteenth and early twentieth century man named James Churchward, who wrote about a continent in the Pacific called Mu. His claims were rather extraordinary, even for the subject of lost lands, and almost none of it correlated with my later findings about the People."

Holly wrinkled her nose as she listened. It was really odd to listen when Artemis spoke of her and her friends like they were myths. A bit rude, really.

"But, there was one thing that did indeed hold true. Churchward wrote that he was able to translate some tablets which contained information about Mu. While I strongly doubt his translations were by any means accurate, he made an observation about the language that they used which was consistent with the knowledge of the People. He believed that this language was the tongue from which all other languages stemmed. Churchward called it Naacal, we call it Gnommish."

This time, the fairies actually _were_ stunned.

"So a _human_ found ancient fairy writings and translated them!?" exclaimed Foaly.

Artemis shrugged.

"It's not that unbelievable is it? The one sitting next to you certainly did."

The centaur snorted.

"Yeah, yeah, congratulations."

"Thank you," replied Artemis with a tiny smile, "I'm glad I did too." He paused and his brow furrowed. "In any case, the legends of Mu cannot tell us too much I'm afraid, aside from a few things like the language, the sources are incredibly unreliable. The tablets themselves were never found, even though Churchward said he had them. All we know now is that the place exists and that we may be able to use this Book of Ages to help us."

"So what about your mother Artemis, was she any help with the timeline?" asked Holly, trying to change the subject to something that did _not_ resemble a history lesson.

The boy immediately frowned and he wiped his mouth nervously across the back of his hand.

"That, Holly, is our other problem. Asking my mother wouldn't help since Opal following us was a spur of the moment thing, not planned out. When I was upstairs I ran simulations in which a second paradox was introduced into our time stream, and every time, all I get is an acceleration in temporal collapse. The predictions I made earlier about the timing of things disappearing goes out the window." Artemis' voice seemed to get lower and lower as he spoke, and he continued to stare at some empty spot on the table, eyes unmoving.

"How fast?" asked Foaly in a whisper.

"Gnomes start tonight, humans, tomorrow morning."

"Then we have to make the jump to Limbo now!" cried Holly, "Forget the planning, that won't help if you're gone by the time we're doing writing out what we need to do! We can get supplies when we land!"

Artemis blinked quickly and then gave a slow nod.

"We have to move up our plans, yes. But we should not rush into things just yet. There may be a way to… slow down the acceleration."

Foaly noticed the boy's pause.

"What way?" he asked suspiciously.

Holly saw Artemis clench his fists.

"We have to send Koboi back to the past. Wipe her memory of coming here, and then send her back in time so she can start the goblin rebellion. Some of the damage to time has already been done, but we should be able to buy a day, maybe two by doing that."

Holly's mouth became a grim slash across her child-like face.

"Foaly, give me your computer," she ordered, "I'm getting Trouble on the line."

* * *

Holly told him. He wasn't happy.

"You want me to do _what_!?" Trouble's image seemed to expand as he yelled into the communicator.

"Wipe Koboi's memories, and send her back in time," replied Holly as calmly as she could.

The commander stared at her for a moment more.

"You're serious?"

The elf nodded.

"Holly…" he shifted uncomfortably apparently trying to find the right words to explain, "…what you're asking isn't just beyond regulations, it's plain illegal on so many levels…"

"Commander- Trouble, this whole thing is 'beyond regulations' and we need as much time as we can possibly get right now."

Holly gritted her teeth. Why was it so easy for Artemis to convince him? Maybe she should have just pulled the Mud Boy upstairs with her and let him explain it.

"D'Arvit…" cursed Trouble quietly, but not quietly enough that his captain didn't hear him, "I'll… try to pull a few strings, get Qweffor to help… but I can't promise anything."

"No Commander," said Holly urgently, "we _need _this done, and we need it done _now_."

She could see Trouble's whole face tighten with frustration.

"Fine…" he said finally, "give me until midnight. I'll send up the supplies you ordered in a few hours, but if you don't hear from me by 12 AM, you are to leave for Limbo immediately."

"Yes sir!" said Holly as officially as she could. "And if we do hear from you?"

Trouble gave her a grim smile.

"Holly, who's going with you again?"

"Fowl, and N°1," she replied, "Foaly would stand out too much and anyway, he wants to go back to his wife. I don't blame him."

"Well, if I _do_ get all this stuff done in time, you can add me to that list."

Holly smiled back just a little.

"I'll see you at Tara tonight then Commander."

* * *

**A/N:** I just wanted to point out that the stuff about here about Mu is actually true. That's to say that a guy named Churchward actually did claim the things Artemis says he did, and he actually did write several books about a lost continent and a language called Naacal which sounds conceptually like Gnommish (he died before Artemis Fowl came out though). The whole lot of it sounds pretty fishy to me, and I personally don't buy it, nor do most historians, but hey, that just gives me more wiggle room for the story.


	6. Strangest Order

**A/N:** A few laughs before the serious stuff begins...

* * *

**Artemis Fowl: The Book of Ages**

Strangest Order

* * *

**Fowl Manor, Ireland**

It was 1 AM and the only light in the garage came from the ceiling and side lights of the one unlocked car in the Fowl garage. Holly sat in the front passenger's seat as she watched Artemis enter the from the driver's side of the Jeep, unable to keep a smile from the edges of her lips.

"So _how_ exactly did you convince your mother to let you drive to Tara in the middle of the night?"

Fowl shut the door with a slight muffled bang and settled into the seat. He glanced at the rearview mirror, making sure his other passengers were secure in their spots. N°1 was sitting far back into the seat in the middle of the car, a seat belt buckled far too loosely against his chest. A child's booster seat would have probably been in order, but Juliet had taken Myles' and Beckett's seats with her when they had left. Foaly had it worse though. Being four-legged, he was forced to stand in the back of the car where the last row had been folded down, with nothing holding him anywhere but his hands against the headrest of the row in front of him.

All in all, everyone was secure. This is, if you define _secure_ very loosely.

The engine purred to life as the young man put the Jeep into reverse, slowly easing his way out of the extensive garage.

"I simply told Mother that I needed the help of a specialist who was coming aboveground but was very sun-sensitive. And he was bringing tools that we would need for our little project so I needed to bring a car."

"You didn't tell her about the paradox stuff then did you?"

Artemis craned his head back as the Jeep cleared the garage door, and quickly turned around to remotely shut it.

"What I told her is nothing but the truth. What she infers from it is something else. She thinks that this is all a geologic survey to prepare for an oncoming series of earthquakes underground."

"I thought you were coming clean with your mother?" asked Holly accusingly.

"I'm trying Captain, but really, am I supposed to go, 'oh hello Mother, all of humankind is going to disappear in about thirty six hours and my good friends and I are going to an alternate dimension so that we can come back later and fix things!'" Amazingly, Artemis kept a straight face, as if he had thought out the whole speech before. "Hardly. Can you blame me if I tell the truth but not the whole truth?"

The elf didn't have a good response to that.

"What _I_ find incredible," continued the boy, "is that she said _'as long as Captain Short is with you'_ when she agreed. I mean _come on_! It's not like I need a babysitter. And how could she trust _you_ to take care of _me_ when she's only really met you this morning!" He faced Holly with a serious face, trying to stare down her barely contained laughter. "You are most certainly _not_ my babysitter."

A person standing outside the Jeep would have probably heard quite a bit of muffled laughter over the mechanical sounds of the closing garage door at this point.

"I'm sure…" Holly squeezed out between giggles, "that Mrs. Fowl is only making a very sensible condition there. After all, somebody needs to keep you from doing some crazy, irresponsible stuff in the middle of the night. I guess I just seem that responsible because I was standing next to _you_."

"Well Holly," Foaly snickered from the back, "I'm not sure you'd be the right person for that either, what with your core diving record and all."

Artemis smirked and Holly shot the centaur a chilling glance.

N°1 ended up being the only one laughing.

The Jeep turned on then main highway within a few minutes. To Foaly's horror, Artemis started to speed up considerably upon coming up to the empty stretch of road. The blue-white glow of the headlights was the only thing he saw from the back of the car as it sped along the road, through some areas that didn't even have street lights.

"Hey Arty," he called, "do you really have to go so fast? Your car doesn't even have shields if we crash!"

Fowl lifted his foot a little, and the speedometer slid back to a more reasonable speed.

"Sorry," he said, completely unapologetic, "I was just taking a page from Holly's book on driving."

Foaly snorted and muttered something about speed freaks.

"Well I thought his driving was fine…" said Holly. It took her about a second to realize that she had broken one of her own rules: never give Artemis Fowl an ego boost.

"Thank you Captain," replied Artemis mildly as the car sped up a bit more.

Holly looked over at him and blinked. Alright, so maybe it wasn't _that_ bad.

* * *

**Hill of Tara, Ireland**

"Stop here," ordered Holly, her face only lit by the glow of the heads-up display hovering inches from her eyes on a clear helmet visor.

Artemis brought the Jeep to a stop just inside a clearing of trees several meters away from the dirt road he had been following for the last five minutes.

"Don't move," she said.

The boy didn't argue with that. Being this close to the Tara shuttleport with a comparatively large human vehicle, he wouldn't be too surprised if the car was already surrounded by a full squad of shielded fairies with tiny but deadly guns- probably aimed at him.

He frowned. He didn't even bring the shield filtering glasses with him. Maybe he was going too soft.

Holly slowly opened the door on her side and stepped out. She panned her view left and right, looking through filtered vision for any shielded beings.

Left- nothing. Right- nothing. Forward- nothing.

Odd.

She brought up the minicomputer on her wrist and was about to call Trouble when a voice came out from behind the car.

"Hey Fowl, Short, open up!"

A surprised whinny came from the back of the car.

Holly whirled around and turned the corner of the car to see a figure slightly taller than she was rapping a fist against the back bumper of the Jeep. She couldn't actually tell it was Trouble by looking at it, but she'd heard him yell enough times to know that it was.

"Commander!" she called out. He raised a hand in greeting.

"Is anybody else out here?" she asked.

Trouble tilted his helmeted head.

"No," he replied, "just me. Well, me and the supplies." He pointed a thumb back to what looked like another bush next to a tree. Holly squinted at it in the darkness and just barely managed to see some irregular angles to its edges- cam-foil, no doubt.

The elf quickly stepped back to the front of the car, next to the driver side door.

"Hey Artemis, come out!"

The door opened halfway and the boy looked at her with a half-smile on his lips.

"So I won't get shot then Captain?"

Holly rolled her eyes, but then realized that he probably couldn't see the expression through her visor.

"Come on," she grumbled, "it's just Trouble."

Artemis reached a hand over to the side of the dashboard and popped open the trunk before stepping lightly out of the seat.

Foaly was already out of the back before the pair got there.

"What took you so long open the trunk for?" asked Trouble, irritated.

"Sorry Commander," Artemis smiled, "Holly was just watching my back and making sure I didn't walk out into a circle of trigger-happy LEP commandos."

"I'll _put_ you in a circle of trigger-happy commandos if you don't hurry up!" hissed Trouble.

"Very well, Commander," replied the boy, stepping aside to help Holly pull several large aluminum cases and a sheet of cam-foil into the space that Foaly had just vacated.

"Alright Foaly," said Trouble as soon as they were done loading, "shuttle's hot and ready waiting at the port. Flares have been down since this morning, so you should just let the autopilot take you back. Wing Commander Vinyáya's in charge of emergency operations down there you'll be reporting to her for… well, however long you have."

"Thanks Trouble," replied the centaur. And for once, his words didn't have a sarcastic edge to them. "Before I go though, I nearly forgot. Mud Boy, I have something for you."

Artemis looked at him with surprise on his face that could be seen even in the dark.

Foaly rummaged through one of his bags for a moment before coming up with a device in the palm of his hand. It was a smooth, blue polymer cube.

The boy's eyes immediately lit up as he took the cube and a genuine grin came on his face.

"It's been a bit of a pet project for me for the last four years or so," admitted the centaur sheepishly, "I wasn't able to get past all of the encryption, but I got far enough to give it some serious upgrades. I guess you can call it the C Cube 2.0- almost as powerful as my own mainframe, but with an annoying complicated code built in and without all the cool movies."

"Thanks Foaly," said the boy sincerely, reaching out a hand, "that means a lot to me."

"The notes on the legends are on it, put them to good use."

They shook- inventor to inventor, and more importantly, friend to friend.

Foaly spoke to the captain next, but instead of shaking her hand, he just grabbed her into a huge hug.

"Take care, Holly. Don't do anything stupid alright?"

"What kind of goodbye is that?" snapped the elf. But there wasn't any sting in the rebuke.

"We'll all be fine," assured N°1 when Holly was finally released.

Foaly wasn't too sure how to treat the imp, since he didn't know him that well. He ended up patting the warlock on the head, much to the disgruntlement of the imp.

When all was done and said, Foaly finally retreated back into the shadows, towards the Tara shuttleport and back to Haven City, sounding nothing so much as a horse in the woods as he did.

"Now," remarked Trouble, "can we _please_ go to the Manor? I don't know about you three, but I've been handling emergency after emergency all day and I _need_ to get some sleep before we leave."

* * *

**Fowl Manor, Ireland**

The ceiling of a guest bedroom in Fowl Manor really wasn't the most interesting thing to look at, especially in the dark. But it was the thing that Holly Short found herself staring at hours later. It wasn't that she didn't want to sleep, or even that she _couldn't_ sleep. Actually, she was up because she was listening. She was listening for a _poof_. Wait, no, she was listening for a _bang_.

The elf gulped.

Artemis had told her that sending Opal back in time had given them an extra day before humans starting disappearing. That wasn't very reassuring though. Holly couldn't help but wonder- if he had been wrong about the timing the first time, what was to say that it wasn't wrong this time? If the humans did disappear, would it be a single loud bang, or four successive smaller ones, she wondered.

Groaning, Holly pushed up from the bed and sat with her head hanging down and her eyes closed, trying to get rid of the negative thoughts.

She slowly opened her eyes and turned to the cold glass window next to the bed. The moon was full out tonight, and somewhere in the back of her brain, Holly kicked herself for forgetting to pick an acorn while they were at Tara. She would have probably remembered, but present circumstances tended to make things like the Ritual seem less important than they really were.

She scanned the Fowl grounds, wondering if she could lull herself to sleep if she stared at the dark shadows of rosebushes long enough.

That idea though, was quickly forgotten. A figure standing on the edge of the garden caught her eye. Holly squinted at it for a moment and then stared for several more before heaving a tired sigh.

She lifted the covers and got out of the bed.

* * *

Artemis Fowl looked like he was thinking. Then again, when did it ever look like he was _not_ thinking? He had both hands in the pockets of his Armani suit pants and still wore the matching jacket over his collared shirt. Apparently, he didn't plan on sleeping anytime soon.

Artemis spoke without turning around.

"Hello Captain."

Holly padded through the moist grass to stand next to him, following his gaze to the pastel glow of the moon.

"How'd you know it was me?" asked the elf softly.

The boy chuckled lightly.

"Your footfalls were too light to be a human adult, Trouble was tired enough to fall asleep nearly as soon as I showed him to his room, and I am fairly sure that N°1 is incapable of sneaking around unless specifically and directly told to."

Holly didn't say anything about him being an annoyingly observant Mud Boy this time. It was true, but she felt it was an overused line by now. Instead, she glanced towards his face, expecting to see a smirk on his lips. But his pale, moonlit features did not show that.

His features were peaceful and calm, but not… child-like, or… happy, or even content. It was a face of quiet resignation. He didn't even try to turn her way, as if he couldn't, or wouldn't bring himself to look at her.

The elf wondered if she had missed something. Was he ignoring her because she wasn't helpful? Maybe it was because for the whole time, she could do nothing but make a list of supplies, a list that, frankly, Artemis himself could have probably written better. Was he disappointed in her for holding the team back?

She shook her head slightly. Her brain told her she was tired and that what she was thinking was probably entirely irrational. It _was _around three in the morning after all.

"You should go back to sleep Captain, there is much to do tomorrow." His tone held no malice, but his words still stung.

There was nothing she could do the next day. She was done with her miniscule, unnecessary role. She had no strengths in legends, in temporal physics, in warlock-level magic, in planning.

She wouldn't go so easily though.

"You can't sleep." It was a statement, not a question. "What's wrong?" she asked quietly.

An expression flashed across his face, twisting his features ever so slightly before he relaxed again.

"Nothing is wrong Captain," he answered tersely, "why would you assume something like that?"

He hadn't moved an inch since they started talking.

Holly frowned and her brow knitted together in frustration.

"Artemis, I may not be as smart as you, but I'm no idiot. And I happen to know more about emotions than you think. _You _know there's something wrong, and I can see that much. Now you _are_ going to tell me why you're out here and what's bothering you, or I'll drag it out of you- your choice."

The boy looked like he was trying to smile, but was too tired to.

"Would insomnia convince you?"

Holly stood her ground.

"Don't lie to me Mud Boy," she warned. She almost regretted it when the pained look appeared on his face again. At least now she knew he was still capable of feeling guilty.

After a few seconds, Artemis breathed a gentle sigh.

"Holly… I think you know me well enough see that I prefer a well planned out, calculated mission over some improvised mess." He paused, as if trying to think of how to explain himself for once. He spoke slowly, choosing each word carefully. "Well… the problem with this is that all my predictions for the other timeline are really just… I suppose you could say, like little more blindly throwing darts at a board. We _don't_ really know what's on the other side of Limbo, and we only have the vaguest idea of what we're doing…"

Another pause. Artemis glanced down at Holly briefly before looking back up.

"I guess I'm just not very comfortable with the whole idea of not having a plan."

Holly thought for a moment and remembered some of her own escapades. She tried not to laugh, and it seemed easier than it should have been.

"So you're saying you're nervous," she said plainly.

He gave her another look before giving a slight nod.

"I suppose you'll tell me now that everyone gets nervous, and that I should just get over it and improvise my way through and of course, everything will turn out better if I don't worry too much about it," said Artemis.

Holly raised an eyebrow.

The boy shrugged.

"I wrote my master's thesis on the psychology of adolescent insecurity when I was eight," he explained.

Holly actually did let out a small chuckle at that, but quickly reined herself in.

"No," she replied, "I was actually going to tell you that you _should_ be nervous."

Artemis' expression didn't change.

"Just know that you'll have good friends with some powerful magic and firepower backing you up."

One side of the boy's mouth lifted up a fraction of an inch.

"Make that one up yourself Holly?"

"No," she admitted, "my old academy instructor told me that when I graduated."

Artemis gave a small sardonic smile.

"Of course, what could _possibly_ go wrong when we have a bunch as talented as we do…"

"Everything," replied Holly seriously, "But you were right before though, I'll make sure you don't get yourself killed." Then she added, "I _am_ your babysitter after all."

Fowl let out a short, dry peel of laughter.

"I'll count on that then Holly. Seems to have worked well enough before right?"

Still, neither of them slept too deeply that night.

* * *

It was late in the morning the next day when the odd group gathered in Artemis' bedroom. Trouble had lugged with him the flat metal cases he had brought from Police Plaza.

"Alright," said the Commander as he cracked one of the cases open and pulled out a long cloth belt with at least a dozen compartments on it, "basic LEP survival kit," he explained "Dried food and hydration to last about two weeks, not that I'd want to be eating this stuff for that long."

He started grabbing and passing out the other items.

"One shimmer suit- N°1 you'll be using that one. Sorry Mud Boy, we don't make suits over four feet long. The captain and I already have those in our bags."

Artemis shrugged and looked on as Trouble gave another item to the imp, a small plastic amulet of sorts.

"GPS tracker," he clarified, "so if we do somehow get separated, we can still find each other. Fowl yours is included as part of the C Cube upgrades."

He opened the largest case.

"Four sleeping bags, two medical kits- which Holly and I will keep; two sets of wings- again, me and Holly, since we're the only ones qualified to fly them,"

Then finally, Trouble unlocked the smallest and thinnest case. He pulled out four silver handguns, each wrapped in a transparent plastic cover.

"The new variable fire Neutrino laser blaster- precision sniping, semi-automatic, or if you prefer, spray 'n pray full auto mode- in adjustable damage levels of course."

The former Retrieval jock sounded very proud of the weapons.

"Nice," commented Holly as she slipped the cover off and gripped the gun tightly. The barrel glowed for a second before settling back down.

Trouble handed one to Artemis next.

"I imagine you've had some practice with the old ones from the siege?"

Artemis smiled as he took the weapon, letting the sensors lock on to his DNA, confirming him as its user.

"The good 'ol days right Commander?"

Trouble grumbled something under his breath and went to give N°1 his weapon.

The imp vehemently refused.

"No offense Commander, but I just really _don't_ like guns…"

"He had a bad experience with a Taiwanese bodyguard," explained Artemis.

Trouble shrugged. "Your choice," he said, holstering the weapon, but leaving it sheathed in plastic.

"Uh, actually," interrupted the imp, "could you put all the supplies in a nice big pile over in the middle of the room?"

"You're transferring them separately?" inquired Artemis as they started to form a heap of materials on the carpeted floor. The boy added his own bag to the LEP supplies.

N°1 nodded.

"Remember when I said I could do a max of four people? If it were any less than that I could probably protect you all from any bad mix-ups en route, but since this is pretty much my limit, it's best to have as little _other_ stuff traveling with us, since in principle, this is fairly similar to time travel."

He smiled an evil smile at Artemis and Holly.

"You two know what that means…"

Elf and human immediately turned beet red. They wouldn't turn back to their normal facial colors until a few minutes _after_ the trip was over.

Trouble was about to open his mouth to ask what was going on. But then he saw the boy, and his ever-dependable captain. More precisely, he saw what they were doing.

He ended up opening his mouth of course- the poor commander just forgot what he was going to say. He also forgot to shut his mouth.

The late Commander Julius Root would have been proud of Trouble's complexion at this point.

"Wh-wa… Holly- how- Holy Frond!"

He suddenly spun around and dissolved into a loud fit of coughing.

"You didn't tell him beforehand!?" Holly yelled at the seemingly calm demon warlock. It came out a bit muffled though, since her head was still trapped into the fabric of her uniform top.

"Oops" was her only answer.

"Explain_ right this instant_- I am _not _going to have this misinterpreted!" screeched the captain, shaking a sleeve of her uniform furiously at the imp.

Trouble somehow recovered from his coughing, but locked his eyes straight on N°1. Looking anywhere else would run the risk of him being unable to function for another few seconds.

"You!?" he growled, "Yes, _do_ explain why in the universe _Holly_ and the _Mud Boy_," he pointed a shaking finger vaguely in their direction, but didn't turn, "are _taking their freakin' clothes off! _In front of _me_! In front of _each other_!"

N°1 had to fight _very_ hard at this point not the break into roaring laughter. It was something akin to keeping an active volcano capped. He succeeded, barely.

"Well… you see Trouble- I mean, Commander, in transporting things back in time, or as in this case, to a place without time, all warlocks run some risk of something called replication error. So if I try to send all of us to Limbo with all of our supplies and clothes, we may end up as a jumbled mess at the other end- a Neutrino stuck in your arm for instance, or your pants becoming part of your skin, or in one of the worse cases, your brain being replaced by your helmet. You get the picture- less non-fairy, or in Artemis' case, non-human material I have to transfer, less chance of something bad happening."

They said that Retrieval training prepared a fairy for any circumstance he could have possibly encountered. Trouble Kelp now learned first hand that that was absolutely _not_ true.

"You- you m-mean we have to do this… this _naked_!?"

N°1 scratched his chin thoughtfully.

"Well, technically, that _would_ be ideal…"

"NO!" cried a pair of voices behind him.

"It would _not_ be 'ideal' in _any_ way!" yelled Holly.

"…but obviously, there are some objections to that," continued the imp, unfazed, "so we'll do this in the best and most… _acceptable_ way we can. That means underwear, Commander, now."

Trouble stared for about five seconds before his brain registered the last part. It was actually an order. And it immediately won the top slot for strangest order he had ever received in his entire career. He slowly shut his gaping mouth and grudgingly began removing pieces of clothing, grumbling things all the while.

Artemis Fowl learned at least two dozen Gnommish curses that day.

The commander turned back to dump his clothes into the pile and saw a sight he never wanted to see in his life, and another sight that he knew by rumor was something at least half of the male LEP population _wanted_ to see.

The first was, of course, a scrawny, pale Irish boy in nothing but a pair of boxers- striped, no less.

The second… well the second was a certain Captain of the Lower Elements Police, in two pieces of modest white undergarments, with flawless, tan skin showing everywhere else. Except the face which, naturally, was fiery red.

Trouble quickly squeezed his eyes shut. Unfortunately, both images were already burned into his memory. He'd have to see about getting the first wiped from his brain when he got back.

And if one asked whether he would get the second wiped as well, the good Commander would of course supply an adamant and eager yes.

There was a loud crackling in the air and something smelled of sulfur. Trouble still didn't have his eyes open, but he assumed that was the pile going.

"Alright," came N°1's cheerful voice, "everybody hold hands now."

Artemis learned two more curses.

Trouble cracked an eye open for this one though, he didn't want to accidentally grab something he wasn't supposed to. On anybody in the room.

He ended up holding an imp's hand on one side and a human's hand on the other. He quickly started staring at the ground, realizing what, or rather, who was in front of him.

"Let's wish for a safe trip now…" said N°1 in a completely normal tone, then he paused.

"Are we there yet?" asked Trouble, his eyes squeezed shut.

"No," said the imp in an odd tone, "I just thought that the hand-holding thing wasn't nearly as funny as it was the last time."

He sighed briefly while the other three gave loud groans.

"Oh well, here we go!"

A loud crack emitted once again in the room.

The Commander tried very hard not to think too much during the process.

* * *

**A/N:** So I'll admit, the last part of this chapter was one of the most fun things I've ever had to write. Since I have the next chapter already written, I'll give you a little info. We'll be going into the second part of this story, and taking a brief look at what the new timeline is like. Hint: it's not pretty. I think I'll wait a few days before uploading it though, in case I need to polish a bit of the end.


	7. The Real World

**A/N: **Here comes the un-prettiness with the start of the next part of the story. Please excuse the sharp contrast with the last chapter.

* * *

**Artemis Fowl: The Book of Ages**

The Real World

* * *

_Some say the world will end in fire,  
Some say in ice.  
From what I've tasted of desire  
I hold with those who favor fire.  
But if it had to perish twice,  
I think I know enough of hate  
To say that for destruction ice  
Is also great  
And would suffice._

_-Robert Frost

* * *

_Artemis Fowl II. Captain Holly Short.

Human. Fairy.

These two never met. They never became friends. How could they have? Their kinds were- are- enemies by nature.

A kidnapper befriending his target? How absurd.

Leprechaun gold was nothing more than an Irish legend after all. A genius of Master Fowl's caliber knows better than to fantasize about such things.

Yes, that was all it was. A fantasy.

A fluke in the otherwise seamless operation of the intricate clockwork of the universe. A self-contained, chaotic world, resting on nothing but a small, frail paradox. An impossible sequence of events.

_That_ never happened.

_This _is the way the present looks.

_This_ is the real world.

**

* * *

Earth Time Stream**

**Chicago, United States**

The relentless ringing woke the man roughly from his sleep.

He moaned lightly and tiredly as he tried to cover his face with satin sheets, to block out the terrible noise. It wouldn't stop though. So he gave up, and flung the sheets off with a grunt. Wiping the sleep from his eyes, the thin, short man grumbled under his breath as he walked unsteadily towards the only phone in the room.

He had been having such a nice dream too.

In it, he was drinking a steaming hot cup of coffee, made from fresh beans picked right off the fields of Columbia. Gold bracelets jingled like wind chimes every time he set the porcelain cup down and replaced his hand on the shoulder of the person to his right. Oh yes, there was that too- the pair of bombshell blondes who sat on either side of him, gently cooing sweet things into his ears. They might have been twins, and they were certainly at least two decades younger than he was, possibly three. But he didn't care. After the coffee came a juicy medium-rare steak. Coffee and steak, maybe a strange combination, but it didn't matter to him.

Never too much of a good thing- or as it may be good _things_.

The last piece of his little paradise didn't exist in the scene physically. It was actually just an assurance. In his dream, he knew he had absolute and utter financial security. Or maybe that was putting it too lightly. It was probably more apt to say that he had billions upon billions of US dollars in secret, private, and tightly locked Swiss and Caribbean accounts. That assurance, in and of itself was better than the coffee, better than the steak, and better than the girls.

Outside of his dream though, the man eyed the caller ID name on the glowing screen of his phone. He grimaced. One look and he was suddenly reminded that while he actually _did _have the billions- if nothing else in his dream- he could just as quickly lose them.

One wrong word was all it took.

"… hello?" Despite the cloudiness that was still being chased from his mind, the man's voice was clearly guarded.

The person at the other end of the line didn't sound nearly so tired and his tone was casual; his accent was not American. Even through the telephone, his words sounded like an icy wind moving across the cold Siberian tundra. Right now, it was blowing softly.

"Your man in Riyadh backed out."

The listener in Chicago took a half second before his tired mind woke up and realized what the other was saying. He cursed under his breath.

"_Damn_, my people told me Ismail was good."

"So…" came the frosty voice again, "what are you going to do about it?"

"Look, you know my network in the Mid-East isn't nearly as big as I wan' it to be…" he trailed off, unsure of what exactly it was that he _could_ do about it.

"I need those oil fields, and I _want_ them soon." The cold voice suddenly paused, as if waiting for a response. Abruptly, he spoke again and his tone abruptly became considerate, and a fraction of a degree warmer. "Oh… perhaps I have called you at a bad hour."

The caller made it sound like he had just realized it, but the Chicago man was not fooled. _Nothing_ went past this individual without him knowing. But he played along, like he had for years now. It was the only sensible thing he could do.

"Yeah, it's" he glanced at the glowing LCD clock by his bed, "just after two in the morning here." He yawned loudly as if trying to prove his point.

"Ah… I apologize." The voice didn't sound the least bit sorry. "But please, do give me a response quickly. You know how much I hate missing opportunities like this."

"Sure thing, I'll have a friend of a friend moving things over there soon. I'll call you back tonight." He thought his tone might have given away the fact that he wasn't sure in the least.

"You do that, and do remember the Russians while you do." The voice sounded once again like bitter enduring permafrost when it said the last bit. "Goodbye Jon."

The phone clicked dead.

Jon Spiro stared at its faint outline through the darkness with a deep grimace carved into his wrinkling features.

The Russians. Who could forget that? No reminder necessary there.

It was an excellent motivator for him to act quickly.

And that he did. He didn't even get a chance to sleep again that night.

**

* * *

Industrial District, Haven City**

Lieutenant Colonel Holly Short slumped back against a metal wall of corrugated iron, feeling the ancient flakes of rust peel off against the back of her uniform. The cold hard concrete beneath her felt good. At least it gave her aching legs a break from their torturous use today.

She ripped the beaten and singed helmet from her head, shaking her tangle of shoulder-length auburn hair back into place as she did. Her lungs moved automatically to take in large gulps of the stale filtered air, letting her smell the metallic scent hanging in the room as it rushed past her nostrils.

Compared to the seemingly prehistoric LEP recruitment posters barely hanging by tiny dabs of glue throughout the district, Holly Short was not exactly a picture of the ideal police officer. They showed a taller-than-average elf with a slick new uniform and a shiny white helmet tucked under a well-muscled arm, an intimidating laser blaster fitting snugly against a leg strap, and a gleaming golden badge pinned proudly on his chest.

Holly couldn't have looked like that even if she tried- and even if she ignored the fact that she wasn't male or bursting with muscles.

Her faded green uniform hung loosely over her thin but lithe frame, the fireproofing layer on the back of the pant legs long worn off and the edges of the cloth itself were starting to come off, smelling like ashes as they did. The decades-old Neutrino that was secured against her waist was decorated with nearly as many scars as her helmet, though the dings and scratches hadn't gotten to the gun's workings like they had to the helmet's electronics. It was a wonder that her shield filters even worked anymore.

She still had a badge, not that it carried any authority in the city anymore. In fact, she rarely wore it. In most instances these days, it was more of a giant "SHOOT ME" sign than anything else.

She closed her eyes and forced her face to compose itself.

"Commander," she said, calmly, but firmly, without opening her eyes, "can I _please _know now why I just went running halfway across the city, risking nearly my whole fire team just to get a _few stinkin' crates_?"

Commander Julius Root gave a low, bitter chuckle a few feet away, which seemed dry as it echoed along the iron walls.

"Sorry about that Holly, you know how it is-"

Holly cut him off.

"Yes, yes. If I or any of my teammates get captured its better if we don't have information because if we do, this that and the other thing, blah, blah, blah and somebody blows my brains out with a giant Mud Man handgun… yeah, I know."

Though her eyes were still shut, she could almost see Julius' face twist into a wince at her cutting words. They were true words though, and Holly did nothing to seem apologetic for saying them.

"I wish you wouldn't put things like that Holly," said Root with a tone that was equal parts resignation and annoyance.

The sound of wood creaking made the Lieutenant turn and crack an eye open.

"Mind giving me a hand here?"

The elf reluctantly picked up her sore limbs to stand behind her commander, who was holding a long metal crowbar against one of the crates. She grabbed the end of the metal.

"On three?" asked Julius.

"Or we could just push now," replied Holly.

Root muttered something about impatient young ones- which the Lieutenant promptly ignored- before turning back to face the box.

They pushed.

The wood complained loudly with splintering sounds before giving way, and the cover fell of with a dull clacking against the concrete floor.

The commander quickly dropped the crowbar and started to gingerly remove the cardboard packing from inside the box. Holly began to help and a small, grim smile appeared on her face when she saw something in the box.

The metallic shine of the butt of a gun appeared through the packaging. This was good; the teams' Neutrinos were starting to get sluggish with age. New guns would be pretty helpful about now.

But Holly realized something was wrong as soon as she started pulling the weapon out. By her trained hand, she knew several things in the split second before she could fully see the emerging item.

First, the handle was too dense, not suited for a light gun.

Second, the trigger had no extra buttons; no adjustments to the firepower.

Third, the whole thing was too long and too heavy.

The elf gave an audible gasp when she finally had the thing in her hands. Though she held it with some reverence, she looked at it like it was a diseased carcass.

This was no Neutrino.

She was holding a brand-new, semi-automatic Softnose laser rifle.

Next to her, Julius Root was calmly placing a second Softnose on a half-empty rack, which until then had held mostly broken-down electric stun guns.

"Commander…" started Holly sharply.

"Yeah?" asked Root, not stopping what he was doing.

"What the hell is _this_?" This time, her tone was low, cutting, and accusatory.

The commander's eyes flashed over to her direction and he quickly dropped the gun he was holding onto the rack.

"I thought you might react like this. That's the other reason I didn't tell you what you were getting. Atlantis restarted Softnose production after Haven's administrative sector fell. They had a few to spare." he said softly with a hint of guilt in his voice.

"You _thought I'd react like this_?!" Holly nearly shouted. "Root, I'm holding a _killing machine _in my hands!"

Julius frowned deeply. Holly _never_ called him by his last name.

"You know, it's basically the same as a Level Five Neutrino burst…" he commented.

The Neutrino series had, since it was invented (by Foaly of course), held several different levels of laser power at a user's disposal. These could range from a mild sting, to a concussive blast, to an enemy-vaporizing final form.

"Right," snapped Holly, "but _you_ know that nobody's Neutrino can hold enough of a charge anymore to use a Level Five without the gun exploding and there hasn't been an incident that needed it in the field even when our guns _could_ handle it! This kind of…" she shuddered, "power, without the choice to even use it without killing or maiming… it's just _irresponsible_! Insane!"

Root turned slowly towards the Lieutenant, his face already red to the point of almost glowing. You could have probably fried an egg against his cheeks if you tried long enough.

"Holly," he began in a slow, controlled voice, "these aren't the good ol' days anymore when smugglers were the worst we had to deal with. This isn't the Haven you grew up in anymore." He took a deep, shaking breath. "You think I _like_ the fact that we had to retreat from our _own_ headquarters?" His arms gestured widely at the cavernous space of the warehouse around them. "That I _like_ sitting here in this place with barely enough protection to hold off a Mud Man squadron while they run amuck in half the city, leaving the rest in ruins?

"No, I hate it, and I hate the fact that we have to use these things," he pointed a calloused finger at the Softnoses next to him.

"But we're at _war_, girl, and whether you want it or not, you're part of it. And I will _not_ lose another person out there because his ancient Neutrino dies in the middle of a firefight! If some Mud Scum gets an arm blasted off to save one of my people, so be it!"

This time, even the ever-headstrong Holly Short sobered up. She looked away from the commander, her eyes losing their usual fire. A silence came and went in the room.

"I…" she stuttered, taking a shaking breath "I'm sorry Commander… that was… out of place. I… understand. Sorry, I just… really don't like this. I know it's true, I just don't want to admit it."

Root gave a low sigh and tried to speak in a comforting tone.

"I know Holly. You don't have to like it, you just have to endure."

The Lieutenant nodded dully and moved to drop the Softnose onto the rack without a word.

"Don't," said Root, "you're one of my best sharpshooters. Keep that one with you."

Holly stared at him then the gun for a few long moments before slinging its strap over her back. Her hands were trembling a little and she felt like the gun push against her as if it weighed several tons.

Root shook his head and rubbed his temples with a pained expression on his face. He reached into a side pocket to fish something out, but his hands came up empty.

"I could _really_ use a cigar right about now," he muttered.

**

* * *

Riyadh, Saudi Arabia**

The man named Hunter sat brooding in the back of a long blacked-out vehicle. His manicured fingers supported his chin as he stared out to the passing streets of the metropolis, which, aside from the excess of desert plants, would have looked just like any other major city, with glass, steel and concrete abounding. At least the buildings would have looked it- the people and their clothes were another story.

If he had been outside, he would have been immediately identified as a foreigner by all who saw him and given a wide berth. Being too light-skinned and wearing a Western style suit would probably give it away, even if his slightly accented Arabic didn't.

But since he was in a car, nobody knew that he wasn't just some native businessperson. Other cars gave his a wide berth anyway.

A dark stretch limo on the streets of Riyadh tended to have that kind of effect.

The vehicle looked empty except for the driver and this man. The only amenities were a thin LCD screen on one side and a dry bar, which, of course, stored no alcohol.

Business had not gone well. Spiro's source in the royal family hadn't delivered and he was walking away without the rights to the land he came for. He sighed. Oh well, it wasn't like the place was going to disappear overnight, and he was sure that as soon as he got what he needed, it would quickly make up for the delay.

A high, almost musical voice seemed to come from nowhere.

"Can we _please_ get out of this disgusting country now? The sun is just _horrible_ for my skin. I think I got sunburned out there."

Hunter loosed a wintry chuckle and responded into thin air as if that was completely normal.

"I would believe you, only I don't think it's possible to get sunburned when the only time you went outdoors was eight feet through a shaded entrance, all eight feet of which you rushed through in about two seconds."

A figure materialized from the empty space, standing in the middle of the limo with both hands at its tiny waist. Its frame was small enough to be a child, but the high cheekbones, adult body proportions and intelligent glint in its eyes made it obvious that she was no child.

"I told you that you didn't need to come. You could have stayed in Haven or even back on the surface in Europe, no need to be here. But we _will_ be leaving. Immediately, in fact," said the man, giving the pixie an amused look.

The pixie jutted out her lower lip a bit at the slight jab, but didn't respond. She seemed to study the man's face before finally giving in to a frown and speaking.

"You know I hate it when you wear those contacts. You still don't trust me?"

Hunter tilted his head and looked at her again through the mirrored lenses, smirking.

"Then you must always hate me, because you've never seen me without them before. And to answer your question, no, I don't. I'll stop wearing them after and if you're going through with the pituitary operation."

"_When_ I'm done with the operation," corrected the fairy, "I told you, it's next week."

The man shrugged.

"You know how it is. I have to take what precautions I can, when I can."

He saw her glower at him even as she started to sit down on the plush seat next to him. Her head just barely missed reaching his shoulder, but that would change quickly if what she said about the operation was true.

He gave her a dark smile, reaching an arm across her back gently.

"Don't worry Opal, you were right the first time, we have the same goals and we're both very good at what we do. We're good for each other."

With that, she could not disagree. Not at all.

Opal Koboi smiled back, trying to make her own expression as sinister as the other's. But she didn't smile back just to look evil. Despite her complaints, things had been going along _very_ well both underground, and above.

**

* * *

A/N:** For those of you who are groaning 'not Opal again!,' I sympathize. Therefore, she will _not_ play _that_ big of a role here. And now, I will spend the next week or so dodging questions. So, what do you think of the real world?


	8. End in Fire

**A/N: **Yay, I made it before a week! Still, I have a sneaking suspicion that people are going to hate me for the ending to this chapter.

* * *

**Artemis Fowl: The Book of Ages**

End in Fire

* * *

**En Route to Limbo**

Magical transportation through alternate dimensions is, by its very nature, a usually unsettling experience. In the old days, when some of the earliest fairy warlocks began experimenting with temporal magic, a full team of healers was always on hand. After several centuries, limb and organ-switching became rare enough that most warlocks survived the trip without too much healing afterwards. That wasn't to say that there wasn't still someone standing by.

Gradually teams of healers were replaced by psychiatrists. It was found that in some cases, the warlocks who came back from a time traveling venture physically fine became mentally scarred. Untrained warlocks going for their first trips through time almost never knew to shield their thoughts in the process. And as such thoughts are plainly broadcast to everyone and anyone being transported at the same instant, many of the older warlocks were badly afflicted upon seeing the thoughts of their students.

It didn't help that most new warlocks back then took their first time trips in their college years, when less than appropriate thoughts tended to hang around the brain more often than not.

Fortunately, our motley group of heroes wasn't damaged mentally or physically during their brief trip through a magically created time-space tunnel. That wasn't to say it wasn't an unsettling experience though.

Well, actually, to say that none of them were damaged would be to give a very objective, medically based assessment. But since Trouble Kelp was not especially medically inclined, he would probably say that he _had_ been mentally harmed during the process.

'_Would you PLEASE stop thinking that!?'_ shouted the Commander mentally into the time stream.

Three thoughts responded.

'_What?'_

'_Huh?'_

'_Excuse me?'_

'_Somebody keeps on sending me these disturbing images of Artemis and Holly getting married while half-naked!' _thought Trouble as loudly as he could, well, think.

Immediately following that thought, he felt two giant waves of horror, embarrassment and a tiny bit of uncertainty rush by him.

And then it got worse. The images got a _lot_ more vivid, and then his other senses were assailed as well. He started to see _details_ now. And hear them, and smell them, and feel them.

Whether the Commander intended it or not (he most certainly did not), he had just made _all_ of the others think about precisely what he _didn't_ want them to think about.

He now saw Artemis _again_ in a pair of boxers, Holly in a one-piece undergarment that was somewhat more conservative than the two-piece she was wearing now. He got the tactile sensation of them awkwardly holding hands. He heard the voice of someone- very clearly this time- pronouncing them 'man and elf.'

Poor Commander Kelp. He'd never been in a time tunnel before, so he couldn't focus enough to see the pretty lights that were flashing around them. Actually, _see_ wasn't the right term, since no one can actually _see_ inside a time tunnel. _Feel _is closer to the truth, though exactly how one can actually feel multicolored lights is beyond most people except for time travelers and the occasional drug addict.

But he _was_ feeling something, and that feeling was him being in that very scene, watching two of his companions get married.

The hardened LEP Commander and veteran of at least one underground rebellion shivered. Or he thought he shivered, he wasn't really sure if that was possible while in a space-time tunnel.

'_Did those two elope behind all our backs?'_ he thought, stunned and amazed, after all, it looked like a strange ceremony, but what did he know about Mud Man weddings? _'Holly's always been a rebel, but…'_

'_NO! No-no-no-no-NO!'_ came the thoughts of said elf.

Whoops, it seems Trouble had forgotten for a moment that everyone else could hear most of his thoughts too.

He then saw the part of the memory he had been missing. It was N°1 who was making the marriage pronouncement, and the 'married' couple had disappeared right after he said it. It dawned on him that he was watching the same thing two more times, once from Holly and Artemis each.

That explained a lot.

'_Eh heh,' _chuckled N°1 mentally in nervous thought-laughter, _'sorry about that Commander, I guess you're new to the whole dimensional transport thing, so you were more sensitive to our thoughts than the rest of us. I was just remembering some happy moments… I guess some of that spilled over accidentally across my magic.'_

'_I am going to stun that imp when we land!'_ somebody thought.

Or, it might have been a pair of somebodies.

Then, the shiny lights started appearing in Trouble's mind. Red dots, blue dots, yellow, green, purple and dozen of others, most of which he had no name for. They danced around his head, and some of the larger ones reminded the commander of a few convicts he always seemed to catch drunk in one bar or another. Some of the darkest and the lightest colors started fading, a bright red replacing them and within seconds (or what felt like seconds) everything was a flaming, inferno red.

His whole body starting tingling, and it felt like a warm fluid was flowing over him, starting from his toes and rapidly working up to his head. What felt like a bucket of ice water then suddenly splashed over his head.

The nimble, well-balanced, Commander Kelp landed flat on his back.

* * *

**Limbo**

Upon materialization, most creatures are dazed for anywhere from several seconds, to several hours, and most novices would start babbling about the incredible things they had just experienced. Holly Short had passed through such experiences four times in her life, but considering how rare it was, she wouldn't have been called a novice.

She landed on her feet. She didn't even bother checking herself yet before her eyes searched the scene. They were in a crumpled pile, next to several bags and boxes, resting on a large flat rock maybe ten feet away.

With as much dignity as she could muster (which admittedly wasn't much considering her state of dress), Holly ran for the clothes. She probably would have said that she walked calmly towards them if ever asked about it though.

"Well, that wasn't too bad," quipped N°1, rolling his shoulders and neck and wiggling his fingers to make sure most of his important muscles were still accounted for.

Nobody listened to him though.

Artemis arrived at the pile at the same time Holly did.

And thus began a frantic search for their own clothing, neither saying a word and neither making eye contact. Understandably, both tried to avoid looking at any part of the other's mostly uncovered body. This wasn't very successful, as they were kneeling on the opposite sides of a pile of cloth, about a foot away from each other. Avoiding eye contact did allow them to miss each other's blazing crimson cheeks though, not that sight would have been needed for each to know that the other was blushing madly.

They dressed in much the same manner, both with their backs to each other, though Holly could see Trouble running to his own clothes out of the corner of her eye. The sounds of zippers, buttons and Velcro were the only sounds made for a few seconds. When the last zipper and straps were in place, Holly breathed a long sigh.

Then she reached for her gun, which was conveniently already in her hip holster, as she had never detached it from her uniform. She glanced over at Artemis, who was buttoning the last button on his Armani suit, a visible lump at his side where she assumed he had his weapon.

"So," she began threateningly, looking at a certain imp, but speaking to Artemis, "you want to shoot first, or should I?"

The boy shrugged, wearing a nonchalant expression.

"You can go first, you have better aim."

"Wait, wait," said N°1 in a panic, holding up both hands in a gesture of peace and slowly backing away.

"Good point," she responded to Artemis, and expertly raised and aimed the Neutrino.

The imp gave a tiny yelp and covered his eyes with both hands. Now he _knew_ it was a bad idea to embarrass Captain Holly Short, and he was about to pay the price.

Several tense moments passed as N°1 prepared to fall over onto the ground twitching.

Holly gave a short burst of laughter before re-holstering the gun.

"Now we're _almost_ even," she told N°1 with a dark glint in her eye.

The warlock peeked from behind his hands and scowled.

"Not funny," he said flatly.

Someone coughed loudly behind the captain, making her turn around.

"So," said a recently dressed Trouble, who was still trying very hard to keep from looking away from Holly after the images he had just seen, "now that we're all decent, anybody care to explain where we are?"

Holly and N°1 stared at him.

"Limbo, obviously," answered the elf.

"Yeah, that I know," responded Trouble, then he tapped his foot against the solid rock underneath his boots, "but what's _this_ that we're standing on?"

Holly opened her mouth to answer, but realized as soon as she did that she didn't have one. She gave Artemis- who seemed more concerned about the wrinkles in his jacket than where they were- a sideways glance.

"Artemis?"

The boy looked up with a neutral expression as he smoothed out the hem of his jacket.

"The demon colony of Hybras of course. Where else would we be?"

Three pairs of fairy eyes blinked back at him.

"It is just me," asked N°1, "or wasn't the colony sunk into the Atlantic the last time we brought it back to Earth?"

The two LEP officers nodded in confused agreement.

"Oh come on," responded Artemis, gesturing at the odd red-pink hue of the space above them, "you know that was in the past, but past, present and future have little meaning in an atemporal place like this. It exists outside of any conventional time stream, so it doesn't really matter that we brought it back to the Earth last year, there's no such thing as normal time flow here, so it wouldn't be all that surprising that we ended up on this island. Everything that has ever been sent to Limbo, will, I suspect, always be in a way, still in Limbo."

"What about the demon colony, shouldn't they be here too?" questioned Trouble.

"I think they are," answered the boy, "just that they're on the other side of the island. The 'top' if I may, and we are on the 'bottom.' When I was still barefoot, I noticed there was a heat source under our feet, which I assume is the volcano's magma chamber, with the crater opposite us, right below."

Holly scanned around the barren, rocky landscape, and had to admit that the rock sort of did look like the land from Hybras. But did that mean they were _upside down_?

She jumped up half a foot as if to see if she would fall off, and immediately realized how stupid that was when she landed. What if she _did_ fall off?

Artemis raised an eyebrow.

"Fine, I give. Why aren't we falling off?" she asked.

Fowl shrugged.

"Who knows? Why didn't the demons fall off of the island? This is hardly an Earth-sized piece of rock with enough gravity to let us walk normally, yet that's what we're doing. I strongly doubt that the laws of classical physics hold here."

The LEP commander standing across from the boy grunted.

"Alright, alright, enough hurting my head. So we're upside down on the bottom side of Hybras, but we can walk and talk just the same, and aside from the fact that this place looks like a rocky little hunk of nowhere, we're fine. Let's start setting up camp then, we need to go over plans."

"Well, technically, we aren't 'upside down' per se, because-"

"I _said_," growled Trouble, "no more hurting my head!"

Artemis kept his mouth shut about physics from then on. Instead, he concentrated on drawing the blood from his face to make his blush go away.

Meanwhile, Holly began pulling out the equipment they had brought along and sorting it into piles. She came across a stiff, forest green canvas bag that was nearly two feet longer than she was tall. Grabbing it by its mesh handles, she heaved it to one side. It was surprisingly light for its size.

"What's this?" she asked, pointing at the bag.

Artemis looked her way first.

"That, Holly, would by one of my additions to our supplies. A tent I invented years ago, and quite a useful one too. Multi-faceted flexible hinges so it can be put practically anywhere, conductive lining so it has a nearly nonexistent heat signature, and a reflective camouflage skin second only to Foaly's cam-foil."

"Is it big?" asked Holly suspiciously. Spending an extended period of time sleeping in a cramped space with her three companions did not particularly appeal to her.

The boy smirked.

"Why don't you pull the strap and find out?"

The captain quickly found the Velcro strap at the end of the bag. She pushed the whole contraption ahead of her and then quickly pulled with a mighty tug.

Immediately, the canvas burst open with a muffled _fwup_ sound. Flexible rods popped out and sprang into place, automatically locking with each other to form the four corners and roof of the tent. It was erect in less than five seconds.

The outside really _did_ have a nice camouflage, as the whole thing immediately took on a dull, rustic brown, mimicking its surroundings.

It was also nearly twice as tall as Holly herself looked to be able to accommodate at least five fully equipped LEP officers.

Trouble gave a low whistle.

"Apartment in a bag. Nice."

Holly looked over at Artemis curiously.

"You never looked like the camping type to me," she commented.

Artemis avoided her eyes and coughed, muttering something into his hand as he did.

"What?" asked the elf.

He coughed again.

"I… don't think you're going to like the tent."

"Why's that? Looks perfectly nice to me- very roomy."

"It… ah… wasn't really for camping…" Artemis shuffled his feet a bit, dragging some dirt along the ground as he did. He looked up at Holly, a grimace scrawled across his face. "It was for… fairy surveillance." The boy murmured the last part softly, almost under his breath.

"Fairy surveillance?" asked Trouble with confusion.

Holly on the other hand, already had her eyes narrowed. _She_ knew what that meant.

"You mean Butler shot me from this thing in Tara."

"… sorry…"

It was the only thing Artemis managed to say while staring at his feet and reliving all those memories of the dark nights spent quietly in wait to capture a leprechaun.

Holly sighed and blew a breath of air out between her lips.

"A tent's a tent I guess," she muttered with a slight scowl as she started to drag her bags past the flapping cloth doors and into the hide.

"Wait! You mean Butler, that nice man who lives with the Fowls, _shot _Holly!?" she heard N°1 exclaim from outside.

Holly rolled her eyes.

This was going to be a long day. Or night. Or… something.

Whatever it was, it was going to be long.

* * *

Artemis Fowl rested his head against a pole on the tent with his eyes closed a while later. He didn't know how much later. Since time didn't flow in Limbo, all clocks were rendered useless and he wasn't inclined to start keeping count of the seconds himself.

If he had to guess, assuming that they had arrived in Limbo late in the morning, Artemis would probably say that it was early evening by now, if such a concept could be used here. The group had spent most of the last non-hours exploring the land.

Interestingly enough, there were quite a few small tremors across the island while they walked- curious, since they didn't seem to have happened the last time. They had actually circled the edge of the island and found that from there, they really _could_ tell for certain that the demon colony was on the other side- probably just a few hundred feet below their feet.

How? Well, the turgid smell of warping demons tended to be recognizable even from that distance.

The occasional juvenile battle cry heard from the edge even alerted N°1 to the location of his old school. Artemis could tell that the imp was remembering some rather unhappy memories here. It probably didn't help that N°1 insisted on him and Holly telling the full story of how they met.

It was only the second time Artemis had told anybody about the whole (or nearly the whole) series of events, but it being the second time didn't rid him of any of the guilt. Holly didn't look too thrilled about it either.

"Hey Fowl," called the gruff tones of Commander Kelp, "you've still got to tell us where we're landing."

Artemis opened his eyes slowly. A slightly pinkish hue filled the tent walls from the red sky above, giving the whole environment an odd, almost fantasy-like look. They were each sitting against the four sides of the tent, their mostly still-packed supplies strewn around between them.

"That _is_ a good question," noted N°1 from opposite the commander, "since I'll be controlling our landing, you should probably tell me at least."

"I was looking over Churchward's writings a while ago," answered the boy, staring seemingly at the space above Holly's head across from him, "and it seems that the best place for us to land would be in America, on the island of Hawaii, to be precise. Of course there are a lot of other Pacific islands that are supposed to be remnants of Mu, but Hawaii seems like the best location, given its infrastructure and tourist presence. I assume you can get us there?"

The imp nodded.

"Normally, you could only get to a place you've been to before, but I worked out a spell with Qwan a few months back so that we can land pretty much anywhere as long as I have a vague idea of where it is and what it looks like."

Trouble snorted.

"Tourist presence- like we could hide in that! And if I remember right, it's always sunny there, not too great for us."

"Actually, the tourism is more to make _me_ look inconspicuous. You three can shield, while I can't. The island chain is just about as sunny as most other places in the middle of the Pacific, and there are a lot more overcast days than most people think. Anyway, we don't really know how long we have to stay there- we can't just search randomly across an ocean."

Artemis grabbed the C Cube and booted it up to look for a suitable image for N°1.

"Well what about-" began Holly.

She didn't finish her sentence though, because it was just then that another vibration rocked the tent. This one seemed stronger than the ones before it, and Artemis felt the muscles in his legs tense involuntarily at the movement.

The four of them all lowered their bodies simultaneously to the ground, preparing to ride out the quake. Two of the hard-shelled cases in the middle of the tent shook violently, bumping against the floor and rattling their contents loudly against their interiors with a _clakclakclakclak_ sound.

The tent itself wasn't too badly affected, since the flexible rods made it simply keep in pace with the vibrations, wobbling the roof just a little bit while the four beings inside trembled.

Just as Artemis began to feel his teeth chatter inside his head, the quake subsided and stopped. It felt like it had been just a few seconds, but with time being entirely irrelevant, it wasn't up to the boy to say how long it had been.

Something cracked loudly outside.

It sounded like a cross between a bolt of lightning and a hundred newspapers being shredded at same time- the thick, Sunday edition newspapers, that is.

The crackling sound quieted a little, but still emitted apparently from all around and above them like a wind blowing through a thick tangle of branches and leaves. The pinkish light that made its way through the cloth of the tent lightened and almost appeared like a milky white now.

"What… was that?" asked Trouble slowly.

Instead of waiting for an answer though, he threw open the flap to the outside and took a few tentative steps onto the rocky landscape. White light burst into the room through the space that he left in the door, throwing parts of the inside into a stark contrast.

"The colony!" cried N°1 immediately afterwards, and jumped up past Holly and Artemis to follow the commander outside, oblivious for the moment to the fact that there really was no way for him to check on his brethren anyway.

Holly glanced towards Artemis, with a look of hard determination in her eyes.

"Let's go," she said, pushing herself up and towards the exit.

Just as she reached a hand towards the flap though, the boy put a hand on her shoulder and slowed her down.

"Wait Holly."

"What?" she asked back at him.

"I think something's happening. We should check the Book."

The elf yanked the tiny volume from under her uniform and flipped quickly through the pages.

The picture of Mu was still there, but nothing else.

"Nada Arty, I've got nothing."

Fowl opened his mouth automatically, intending to correct her English.

He didn't get the chance to.

It was at that moment that the island of Hybras shattered into pieces with a thunderous roar.

* * *

Now, seeing an island floating in the middle of nowhere and out of the normal time stream is a weird enough of a sight. Seeing four beings walk as if nothing was wrong, upside down on the bottom of the island was perhaps only slightly stranger.

Maybe given those images, seeing the whole island suddenly break apart along a dozen invisible fault lines wouldn't be _that _strange.

It would though, be an utterly terrifying experience if you ever got caught in it.

Holly Short was, at the moment, standing on the edge of the inside of the tent, watching all of this happen around her. Trouble and N°1 were on a piece of land that had just split from the one the tent was on, and the imp was holding onto the commander's arm like his life depended on it.

Interestingly, neither seemed to have lost their balance though, as if the rock they were standing on wasn't moving at all. It looked like Trouble was yelling something at her, but she couldn't hear him through the din around them.

"Holly, look!" yelled Artemis next to her, pointing a finger through the door and straight up.

A rip had appeared through the white sky, a dark, menacing red in a jagged oval. Dark sparks danced along its edges, circling the hole like gleeful baby sharks around their first kill.

The pieces of Hybras accelerated towards the sparks.

Holly suddenly felt a thousand pounds heavier, the increasing speed dragging her whole body to the ground. She tried to get back up, but only managed a few inches before she fell back further into the tent. She landed on something stiff- it might have been Artemis' arm.

Holly blacked out.

* * *

**En Route to Earth**

'_Holly!'_ thought Artemis, trying to scream through his mind and unsure if he actually succeeded.

They were in the time stream again, the world appearing as a blur of reds and pinks.

Somehow, he had lost track of the land they were on, as well as the tent they were in and even the supplies they had right in front of them.

'_Holly, help me!'_ he thought again, holding the elf's slender wrist with a vice-like grip in his sweaty hand.

Her eyelids fluttered momentarily, then opened completely.

'_Artemis?' _she said without her lips moving.

She looked around her, taking in the beautiful yet terrifying sight.

'_How did we get here? Was it the hole in the sky?'_

'_Yes, yes! It doesn't matter now Holly, you have to help me!'_

'_How?'_ the thought, the bewilderment clear in her mental tone.

'_Keep us from falling apart! Make sure our clothes and guns don't get stuck in us- just keep picturing the two of us exactly as we are!'_

Holly nodded imperceptibly.

'_We won't be able to land in Hawaii, I've never been. I know where we can go though.'_

'_Where?'_

'_Don't worry, I'll take care of that part, just make sure we come out unharmed.'_

That was a _lot_ easier said than done.

* * *

**Earth Time Stream**

Having one's molecules reassembled on Earth bit by bit after being thrown around much like a rag doll in the drying machine of space and time tends to be an unpleasant experience. But Artemis Fowl had never had a re-materialization quite like this before. Usually, it was a sense of loss after being disconnected from a group of other minds, and though he did indeed feel a profound disappointment at losing direct mental contact with Holly, that wasn't the most problematic thing at the moment.

It was the pain.

Terrible, searing pain ripped through the boy's body, driving a million arrows into each and every point on his skin. His throat felt like it was scorched dry, like he hadn't had a drop to drink for several months. The rest of him felt like he was being roasted atop an open fire, his fingers and toes throbbed with every tortured beat of his heart. His eyes didn't seem to register anything, like he had been blinded completely by the pain.

Maybe he had gone straight from Limbo, right to the gates of Hell.

And he thought he was doing so well at the whole 'being good' thing too.

It was too hot- he needed to get some clothes off now, or it felt like he would melt into a pile of boiling rubbery flesh.

Artemis tugged at the sleeve of his suit jacket, the arrows stabbing at his fingers growing sharper wherever he touched the cloth. He tried though- blindly pulling and reaching.

"Artemis, what are you doing?!"

'_Holly?' _thought the boy, unsure if she could still hear his thoughts.

He felt a pair of hands grab his own, stopping him from taking his jacket off. Somehow, the hands were even hotter than the fire that was charring him right now, like adding jet fuel to an already blazing flame where her hands touched his skin.

'_What is she doing?!'_ he thought angrily.

"Arty!"

'_Pain…'_

"Listen to me Artemis you won't-"

'_Fire… too hot… Holly… where's Holly?'_

Artemis subtly realized his thoughts growing increasingly muddled, and he seemed to know what was coming next.

His face crashed against something hot and hard.

Blood rushed to his head in an erratic rhythm, the only sound he could hear besides Holly's indistinct and frantic yelling.

_Thump… thumpthump… THUMP… thump…_

And then- nothing.

Artemis Fowl Jr.'s heart had stopped beating.

But he didn't know that, he was already knocked out seconds before.

* * *

**A/N:** Muhahahaha- I have finally done it! Artemis Fowl is no more!

Oh, alright, just kidding, I like him too much to kill him, but not enough to put him through a lot of torture. Besides, what's a good Holly/Arty fic if Arty is dead eh? Also, before you call me crazy, I DO know what I'm doing, and I DO know what's happening to Artemis. But you don't... haha.

And here come the angry reviewers...


	9. Death by Ice

**Artemis Fowl: The Book of Ages**

Death by Ice

* * *

In the LEP Academy, among the first thing a raw recruit will learn is to alwaysstop and assess a location if you find yourself stuck in an unfamiliar place _before _doing anything. Cadet Short usually followed that rule, but 'usually' implied that there were a fair number of times when she didn't. It was the same when she became a full officer, and even when she achieved the rank of captain.

This time around though, she actually followed regulations. Sort of.

For the captain, reappearing back on Earth wasn't a pleasant experience. But then again, since when was it ever a pleasant experience? The elf felt like she had been stretched, pulled, curled, compressed and pulled again. In essence, Holly Short now knew how taffy felt when it was being made. She felt very sorry for the taffy.

Immediately after appearing though, she forgot all about feeling like a piece of candy. Her whole body was stiff.

And it was cold. Bone-chilling, skin-numbing, cold.

She could feel the icy air ramming its way through the top of her shimmer suit, down to her chest and constricting her lungs before she even opened her eyes. The suit was made for camouflage, not treks in the Arctic.

Why in the world would Artemis land them in the Arctic?

When Holly finally did open her eyes, she saw her answer. It wasn't the Arctic- she wasn't even outdoors. A giant floor-to-ceiling window took up one side of the room, flat dark computer monitors took up the other, and between them were a trio of low beds, a pair of chairs, and a nondescript metal table. The walls were of a dull silver color, and seemed to curve around the room.

These weren't the things that caught her eye though. It was the fact that _everything_ was covered in a layer of frost.

On every exposed surface, a translucent film of ice made the colors in the room pale and uninviting. The window was covered so much that it could barely be made out as a window, and nothing so much as a blur of gray could be seen through it.

Holly had the distinct impression that the room reminded her of a place she had been before, and her frozen mind churned as she tried to dredge up the memory.

Something else distracted her before she could remember though.

Quick, hoarse breaths came from next to her as puffs of respiration appeared like smoke in the air. She turned her stiff neck and when she saw what was just behind her, even her blood seemed to freeze.

Artemis Fowl stood in the center of the room, unmoving, unspeaking, like a brilliantly carved statue in the middle of a passing snowstorm.

Holly saw his face first.

His skin had never exactly been a healthy color- always a bit on the pale side for his lack of time spent outdoors- but now it was as white as a sheet of paper. His eyes were closed, stuck that way, it seemed, and white flecks lay on his eyelids. The boy's raven hair too, was covered in a dusting of pallid specks, his locks fixed in place as if too much hair gel had been dumped on him. The only thing that didn't look too different was his clothing, but even that looked paler than the formal jet black color it held before.

Holly noticed for the first time that she and her clothing- though cold- was nothing like Fowl and his clothes.

Suddenly, Artemis' breaths became faster, shallower, and he moved.

He moved like a machine though, except his face, which was contorted in some terrible expression of agony. Before Holly could say anything, his stiff hands began to move roughly across the front of his chest, groping for the opening to his suit jacket.

Like he was trying to take it off.

"Artemis, what are you doing?" yelled Holly in Gnommish.

'_Gnommish?'_ she thought, but the question was quickly pushed out of the way by more pressing matters.

She watched in horror as he pulled aside one side of his jacket, exposing his thin shirt to the freezing air. Holly didn't stand back anymore.

The elf rushed forward on fatigued legs, grabbing his hands and pushing them against his chest, stopping him from getting at his clothes. Artemis' icy wrists sent waves of cold coursing through her palms to the degree that it was painful. She ignored it.

"Arty!" she cried, "Listen to me Artemis- you won't help yourself if you try to take off your jacket!"

Again- though she tried very hard- her words came out not in English, but in her native tongue.

It didn't look like he heard her either way.

She wasn't able to give that any thought this time though, since as soon as she grabbed the boy's arms, his legs gave way. Artemis' knees bent and buckled, and finally, with a weight that she could not hold onto just by his wrists, he crashed onto the cold metal floor.

Holly let out an involuntary sound of distress. It was sort of like a cry of pain, but aside from her hands on Artemis' wrists, she wasn't the one being hurt.

She wanted to just land on top of him and cover him with herself, shrieking at him to wake up, but her better judgment got hold of her before she did. She rolled him over onto his back and her hands shot out and pressed roughly against his sallow cheeks.

'_HEAL!' _Holly thought frantically, squeezing her eyes shut and barely noticing the moisture that was at the edge of them.

Nothing happened though.

'_Maybe it's not the face, maybe I have to go to the chest directly, where it's worst.'_

Ripping open the jacket that she had just stopped Artemis himself from taking off and pulling open his shirt without regard to the popping buttons, Holly lay both her palms flat against his stone-cold chest. She tried oh so hard, reaching into her very core, pulling out every last scrap of magic she had and sending it to her fingertips.

Not one blue spark came out.

That was when she finally realized what she was missing before- the beat under her hands, the steady rhythm of a throbbing heart.

"NO!" she cried, placing both hands close together hard against the boy's left breast, feeling for anything, any vibration, any movement under her palms.

His heart didn't register. It was like touching a corpse.

Holly sucked in a cold breath, trying again and again to push out her magic. But the more she did, the more she realized why she couldn't.

She felt hollow inside, like some vital organ, or even a part of her spirit was missing from her being. The bubbling reservoir of magical energy that any of the magic-wielding fairies could pull out on a whim was gone- drained, empty.

It wasn't that Holly had never been close to magic-less before. In fact on several occasions, she barely had enough left in her to perform a _mesmer_, or even shield. This time- she realized- she wasn't just scraping a tiny pool for scraps to use on a last spell.

She was completely out. Nothing, zilch, none.

That was why she couldn't speak English. At this point, even the absolute most basic magical property of her kind- the gift of speaking and understanding all languages- was beyond her.

Holly felt despair claw at her innards, raking against her like a desperate animal.

'_No, it can't be like this! There has to be a way…'_

Long, agonizing moments passed in silence as the cold gripped her once more. She stared hopelessly at the motionless form of the boy lying before her, and she felt her entire body grow stiff in terror, as if she too were freezing.

In a single, unthinking moment, Holly reared up her hand and slammed it against Artemis' chest, as if that could drive out some unheard-of source of healing magic. Her curled fist sunk into his torso a little.

She stared at the depression in his skin, and her own hand and her eyes widened.

'_Yes! Idiot! How could you forget!'_

Old fashioned first aid, human-style. Her only hope now.

As to how she could have forgotten, well, it _had _been nearly a quarter of a century since the Captain had had her last non-magical field medical course.

What did they call it? Chest compressions? It was a three-letter term, that she remembered, what it was escaped her at the moment.

It didn't matter though, what did matter was that at that moment, a flood of memories came back to Holly Short. She acted.

'_Thirty then two, thirty then two,'_ Holly chanted in her head as she pushed the cloth of the boy's shirt apart.

She put one hand on the other and both right under Fowl's rib cage and started counting.

One. Press.

Two. Press.

Three. Press…

She stopped at thirty and whipped a hand over to Artemis' chest, feeling for a beat. Still nothing.

Holly knew what the next step was, and didn't hesitate one more second to do it.

Taking a deep breath and letting the frigid air rush into her lungs, she pushed her lips against Fowl's frozen ones and blew a breath into his limp body. Then another.

She went back to compressions.

* * *

A time later, Holly paused again to check for a heartbeat. How much later, she did not know. She only hoped it was closer to seconds than minutes.

She placed a hand gently against the boy's heart.

'_THERE!'_

…. _thump…thump…_

It was slow and weak, but it was there. She got Artemis' heart to beat again, and it was steady.

Holly blew three more breaths quickly into his mouth and felt to beat grow slightly stronger.

"YES!" she cried out loud, ignoring the cold tears that were running down her cheeks.

But now came the hard part.

She had to warm him up- fast- and keep him warm.

Holly pulled away from Fowl's body and let her eyes scan the room quickly.

There, right next to her, lay the entire pile of supplies they had in the tent, and the torn and broken shreds of what used to be Artemis' tent leaning sloppily against it. How she missed it before, she could not say, but it was probably due to her preoccupation with reviving a Mud Boy.

Holly leapt up and started to dig through the mess. She found what she was looking for within seconds. Artemis' sleeping bag- probably twice the size of the others' wrapped tightly in a string-tied bundle. She tugged it out of the pile and pulled on the knot roughly.

The thick material rolled out before her, covering the floor parallel to Artemis' still form.

She unzipped the edge and laid the full length of it across. Getting to the boy's other side, she rolled his stiff body as gently as she could onto the sleeping bag and then folded it back over him.

Holly stood back for a moment.

'_No, this isn't enough,'_ she thought. The bag was too cold, and it would depend on a body inside to heat it up, but Artemis was the one that needed heat.

She thought back to her first aid course. What had the pixie told them about hypothermia?

As soon as she remembered, Holly could feel her cheeks redden despite the situation.

The instructions went something like this:

"_Cadets, in a medical emergency when you can't depend on your magic, modesty becomes a luxury. But in the case of a frozen comrade though, it becomes your enemy. Now I don't care how embarrassing it may be you WILL need to increase the subject's core temperature and the best way to do it is by SKIN TO SKIN CONTACT!"_

She seemed to remember a roomful of male trainees cringing.

"_And I don't mean touchy feely 'I'll put my hand on his stomach' kind of contact. I mean you gotta get down and dirty and HUG the guy with your WHOLE BODY, preferably with the both of you down to nothing and a big blanket AROUND but not BETWEEN you!"_

"D'arvit," cursed Holly quietly.

She glanced back and forth between Artemis' ghostly white face, the sleeping bag, and down at herself. Her face suddenly felt flushed and very hot.

Then she let out a breath and mentally slapped herself.

'_Get it together Short! Artemis is going to freeze to death if you don't do anything. You're a police officer, not some hormonal teenager!'_

Of course, what her rational thought processes neglected to remind her was the fact that while _she_ wasn't a hormonal teen, _Artemis_ definitely was.

Holly squeezed her eyes shut and unzipped the front of her shimmer suit.

Maybe flushed cheeks would give the Mud Boy more heat.

Seconds later, the elf cast the silver-grey uniform aside on top of the pile of other supplies. Now _she_ was cold, the icy air biting at her exposed skin. Goosebumps formed immediately on her whole body, even in places on her that she didn't know could even form them. Now she knew.

What she was doing wasn't _exactly _what her instructor her recommended, since time and uniforms had changed since her days in training. Underwear worn beneath the standard LEP uniforms nowadays was a thin one-piece thermal skin-suit. But it was, after all, just as thin as skin.

Holly shivered. It wasn't even from the cold. Rather, it was from the conservative and modest side of her psyche dying a slow and painful death.

She quickly landed knees first down onto the top of the sleeping bag, throwing it open again to… well, Artemis' shirt was already open. That left one more thing.

The elf locked her jaw tightly… and began to unbuckle Fowl's belt. She tried not to think of what she was actually doing.

'_It's a medical procedure… yeah, that's it. Hypothermia treatment, not taking off Arty's pants. Hypothermia treatment only… which just happens to entail taking off Arty's pants.'_

She could have sworn the room was getting hotter from her face alone, even though the rest of her felt fairly cold still.

Holly slipped in next to the boy as gingerly as she could after she threw aside the slacks and the belt. Closing the side of the bag and wrapping her arms around Artemis' exposed chest, she felt like she was hugging a block of ice.

A soft and oddly comfortable block of ice.

Somehow, she remembered to press her bare feet against Artemis' feet, knowing he could very well lose a few toes if they weren't brought back to the right temperature. She pressed her ear against his chest, listening to the slow thumping of his heart and feeling the minute motions that told her he was still breathing. The side of her body that was in contact with his felt colder obviously, but she hoped that wouldn't last long.

The silky material covering the boy's more… sensitive areas rubbed against her stomach. Of course she hadn't taken off his boxers, but somewhere in a very thoughtful corner of her mind, Holly reminded herself to apologize to Artemis in a decade or so if she inadvertently killed any future kids of his by neglecting the action.

This was, of course, assuming he survived.

"D-don't you d-dare die on m-me" shivered Holly.

'_He promised! He won't die, he can't!' _she thought.

'_Well, actually, you promised to make sure he didn't die, he didn't promise anything…'_ said a logical side of her mind that sounded oddly like Fowl might have.

Oh well, it was close enough for her. Because either way, if Artemis left her now, she probably wouldn't do too well on the world saving thing alone.

Alone.

The thought suddenly struck her like a rock between the eyes.

That's what she was. Alone. Trouble and N°1 were nowhere to be found, and Holly felt a flash of horror at the idea that they might have been thousands of miles, or worse, hundreds of years away. The boy pressed against her didn't help much either as he was half-dead at the moment.

"Come on Arty," she whispered against icy skin, "y-you've got to w-wake up. Our world needs you to be alright. I n-need…" she paused, "j-just don't die. Please."

A small trail of tears made their way down the frosty contours of Fowl's chest.

It might have been the cold, or just plain sleep depravation, but the day's event suddenly seemed to weigh down on the elf's eyelids. She shut them reluctantly, giving up her fight against the fatigue within seconds and falling asleep soon after to the gentle beat of a human heart.

But she knew that if she ever woke up to silence, then she might as well never wake up again.

* * *

**A/N:** Alrighty, several notes. First, for those who don't know, the human body usually can't tell the difference between extreme cold and extreme heat without a visual cue, hence Artemis' experience of being burned. Second, can anyone guess my reasoning behind Artemis being frozen? It's a really long shot and I will be amazed if anyone can do it, but I'll give you three hints to help: mass, energy, Einstein. Oh yeah, and this _is _(roughly) how hypothermia is treated in a field situation.


	10. Cities of Mud

**A/N:** So... I found out that you reviewers know your physics! Tigerchic121 came closest to correctly answering my challenge, but several others made some very good guesses. Still, everyone who guessed made an assumption that turns out to be untrue (you'll see).

* * *

**Artemis Fowl: The Book of Ages**

Cities of Mud

**

* * *

**Dreams are funny things. Sometimes, when one is dreaming, one is well aware of the fact, but doesn't want to stop. Sometimes, dreams are but fleeting images, sounds and sensations that become utterly incoherent upon the dreamer's wakening. Still other times, they may create a whole world of facts, of histories, of events that never happened, yet when dreaming, one would swear that they did.

Artemis Fowl knew all of this, of course. He was reading Freud at ages when other children would be reading Dr. Seuss. Still, in spite of his knowledge, he couldn't immediately decide what was going on.

He had gradually regained consciousness like many other people would upon waking. His mental processes though, seemed to be starting up more slowly than usual.

The first thing he felt was that his face was very cold and his body was not quite as cold- and he was shivering. The second thing was that light bluish light was pouring past his closed eyelids, making sleep rather difficult. In this instance, Artemis was no different from any other disgruntled sleeper. He instinctively ducked him head down towards whatever material it was that was keeping him warm.

When he did that though, he felt something soft and feathery tickle his nose. He opened one eye a fraction of an inch and saw a mass of red-brown fibers.

'_How odd…'_

The boy got the vague impression that something was pressing against him. Maybe if his body had not been numb, he would have known what it was immediately and been very embarrassed. But as it was, it took him a few seconds before he saw a pointed ear peaking out past the hair and the thick cloth that was covering him.

'_Oh… clearly, I am dreaming.'_

"Holly?" he whispered hoarsely, his throat feeling very dry, "Why are you in my bed?"

He quickly rebuked himself, _'What's the use of asking if I am dreaming?'_

She mumbled something that was muffled against what the boy now realized was his bare chest.

'_Ah… I see…'_ thought Fowl. Then, he thought, _'stupid hormones…'_

The elfin figure next to him pressed her head harder against Artemis' chest, against his thumping heart.

'_Of course she would do that if I were dreaming,'_ the boy mused groggily.

Several seconds went by without another thing passing through his mind.

Then, _'wait… WHAT?'_

Before falling back to sleep, Artemis Fowl swore to publish a new paper which would redefine such dreams in a less embarrassing light once he actually woke up.

Dr. F. Roy Dean Schlippe was overdue for a new research study anyway.

* * *

"Artemis?"

Artemis Fowl moaned lightly in his sleep.

"Artemis!"

'_Who is that?' _thought the boy through a haze of dull pain._ 'The accent is so strange, like a foreigner is saying it, but I can't tell what region it's from…'_

The voice said something in a language he vaguely recognized as not being English, but anything more than that was a bit too painful to think of at the moment. He was probably still dreaming anyway.

Someone gently shook his shoulder with a quivering hand, and he somehow realized that the hand was touching his _bare_ shoulder. It was a very warm hand though, and it felt nice against his cold skin.

"Are you awake?" asked the voice.

'_That's not much of a question…'_ thought Artemis, _'a sleeper would obviously- wait a minute…'_ something finally seemed to click in his mind, _'Gnommish?'_

"… ugh… Holly?" he mumbled through rigid lips.

His eyes fluttered open just soon enough to see in the low lighting, an auburn haired head crash into his neck.

"You're alive!" yelled Holly, again in Gnommish, but it came out as a cracked exclamation with her face several inches from Artemis' cold skin. Relief washed over her expression, drastically changing it from what it was just a moment ago.

The boy moaned again at the pain between his eyes and wondered if he should give a response.

He did give one, and despite the thousands of volumes of every kind of literature he had read in his life, this was the most suave response he could give.

"Naturally… dead men don't dream. I'm dreaming, therefore I must be alive."

He really did need to learn how to talk to people. It was small wonder that his social life never got anywhere, even in his dreams.

Holly's head jerked up and her mismatched eyes flitted across Artemis' face, as if looking for something.

"Are you hurt?" she asked in her native tongue, her expression a worried one, "Try Gnommish, I can't understand English right now."

'_What a strange thing to dream,' _thought the boy, _'Holly not being able to speak English… weird…'_

Seeing that he wasn't saying anything and his eyes were unfocused, Holly shook the Mud Boy again.

"Huh… oh," he responded, before repeating what he said earlier in Gnommish. "Aside from a splitting headache and being rather cold and numb, I feel fine. But I suppose that'll pass once I wake up for real," he added with a sarcastic edge.

He saw Holly break out into a genuine, unrestrained smile of relief and then reach out both hands and took hold of either side of his face, pulling it down towards her and forcing him to stare at her mismatched eyes.

"Look at me Arty," she said quickly, but with a tone of happiness in her voice, "You. Are. Not. Dreaming."

Fowl furrowed his brow.

"Of course I am," he retorted, shaking himself out of her grip, "this is an absolutely absurd situation, and I can't imagine I would ever wake up with you right next to me, apparently just awake as well."

It was actually an amazingly coherent response given his headache and fatigue.

Holly stared at him for a moment, and he saw a touch of moisture at the edge of her eyes.

"You were freezing to death!" she snapped.

"Hm?"

Then the memories started coming back. Not exactly like a torrent where one feels like one is fast forwarding through a movie, but rather more like a whole bunch of snippets of a very strange day put together into a badly made commercial for that movie.

He remembered the pain- that came back first. He remembered trying to call out to Holly, but not actually speaking. And then there was blackness. Then, he remembered something comfortable being wrapped around him, and then a soft, hot object being pressed against his chest, abdomen and legs. It was only the fact that the hot object felt good that made him realize it was not pain from heat that he felt before, but pain from cold.

It was real.

He wasn't dreaming.

"Oh…"

It was the smartest thing he could think to say at the moment.

Then his eyes shot wide open, and he could feel his mouth drop open an inch involuntarily. This was, of course, because he realized what position he was in, and more importantly, what position Holly was in relative to himself.

Several long moments passed in silence as one of Earth's most brilliant minds attempted to find an appropriate response.

"Ah… hypothermia you say?" he said slowly, staring awkwardly at Holly's hazel and blue eyes, "I… don't suppose I'm… ah wearing anything then, am I?"

He saw the elf's features flush a bright pink, and vaguely realized his face was probably the same color- albeit a bit paler.

"I left your boxers on… and I'm wearing my underwear…" mumbled Holly.

"Oh…" the boy repeated. Somehow, what she had just said gave him less comfort than he would have expected.

The good news was, both of them were still in the sleeping bag and he didn't have to see Holly in his current state (not to mention her current state). However, them being in the same sleeping bag was also the bad news.

"You're still ice-cold," the captain commented worriedly.

"I still feel ice-cold," replied Artemis.

Holly hugged him closer and pressed the side of her face back against his heart. She gently closed her eyes, her face gaining a peaceful look this time.

Artemis shifted uneasily and realized he probably shouldn't have admitted to being cold.

"Go back to sleep, you still need to get warmed up," she said softly.

Artemis opened his mouth to protest, but the pain in his head slowed him down long enough so that by the time he knew what he wanted to say, Holly Short was already fast asleep again.

'_Fine,'_ he decided, _'if I go back to sleep and I wake up to the exact same setting, then I'll know this was real… until then, I'm blaming teenage hormonal fantasies.'_

He wrapped his arms more firmly against Holly's lower back and slowly fell back to sleep.

Maybe when he woke for the third time, he'd be in his own bed at the manor and all of this silly hypothermia and time travel business would all just be dismissed as an exceedingly esoteric dream.

Third time's the charm right?

* * *

"That never happened," proclaimed Holly resolutely hours later, tightening the cuffs on her shimmer suit and settling down on a slightly wet chair.

Artemis Fowl nodded stiffly from the bed he was sitting on. He had said upon waking again that he was quite warm enough (though Holly couldn't quite agree) and that his headache was mostly gone. He then proceeded to close his eyes up to about a moment ago while Holly had gotten dressed, but the necessity of that was questionable considering what they had just been through.

When they had finally gotten their wits about them after waking, it was pitch dark in the room. What little light had filtered through the seemingly ancient window was gone now, and it took both of them several minutes before they each realized the other was awake. Supposedly, neither wanted to move and disturb the other. A well trained psychologist might have doubted that answer, but the only well trained psychologist in the room was one of the people making the claim.

It took them a bit of embarrassing mutual movement to get to their supplies before they decided that it would be best for Artemis to stay still so that Holly could wiggle her way out of the sleeping bag and search blindly for a glow cube.

And here they were, dressing before the luminous aura of a tiny fluorescent green cube. The setting was very alien-like, given the pale green lighting and all.

"Nothing of those events shall ever leave this room," he agreed. "But," he added after a pause, "while we're on the subject of things that never happened, what exactly didn't happen?"

Holly moved uncomfortably in her seat and tried to shift into her officer-very-formally-giving-a-report mode. It didn't really work, not least of which was because she didn't actually have such a mentality at her disposal.

"Well, as I remember, we appeared in this room- which was a lot colder when we first arrived, and seemingly everything but me and the luggage was frozen and covered in frost."

Indeed, the room itself had warmed up somewhat, and the frost was gone by now, leaving only a wet residue on the surfaces. The bank of screens lining one side didn't seem to be any more operable now than they did before though, and now it could be seen that it was not just frost that had been covering the windows before, but also a thick layer of grey soot on the outside that made them impossible to see though.

"You were freezing cold and I had to resort to healing the uh… old fashioned way. There's not much more than that, aside from the fact that you looked like you were in a lot of pain before passing out." She decided not to mention the rest.

The boy looked on in a bit of confusion.

"Your magic?" he asked, noting that they were still conversing strictly in Gnommish.

Holly frowned and shook her head.

"Gone- completely. I haven't felt this empty in my entire life. There's this annoying feeling of fatigue I keep on getting without it, like I'm heavier somehow."

Across from her, Artemis looked around them and then seemed to sink deep into thought, closing his eyes and wearing an intense expression on his face.

Holly briefly wondered what it was like to wade through the vast sea of knowledge that was the mind of Artemis Fowl.

"What happened to Trouble and N°1?" he asked after a moment, without opening in eyes.

The elf suddenly felt a pang of horror at the thought. In truth, the fate of her two friends hadn't even crossed for mind for a while now, not since before she fell asleep the first time anyway.

"I don't know…" she said in small voice, "They didn't appear with us…"

Artemis said a recently learned Gnommish curse under his breath.

"We shouldn't have separated, it was too dangerous…" he said as he looked up again.

Holly watched him expectantly, but with worry gnawing at the edge of her mind.

"Have you looked at yourself Holly?"

The elf frowned and shook her head, glancing down at her body to see if she was missing anything.

"Uh… nothing looks any different… is it something on my face?"

Artemis managed a weak smile.

"No, your face looks fine." He stood and walked slowly across the small space between them, apparently still working to loosen his stiff joints. "Stand up Holly."

She did so with a confused look and stared up at him when she did.

"What?"

Instead of replying, Artemis reached out a hand and put it at roughly the level of her head, palm down. Drawing it back towards himself, he touched the spot just a little under the center of his chest.

Holly stared at the button he now touched on his suit for a moment before widening her eyes.

She opened her mouth a little, but quickly closed it and scratched her head.

"Well, I guess it could have been worse."

Artemis nodded.

"I reckon it's about fifteen centimeters' worth."

Holly shrugged without too much concern.

"I'm a giant then, but at least I'm not dead."

_Giant_ was probably, though, a word only a fairy would have used. To everyone else, Holly Short still lived up to her surname very well. It was only a big difference to Holly, because when one has as few centimeters as she had to spare, every one was quite something if lost or gained.

"Huh, three and a half feet now," mused the elf, pulling at the elastic material of her suit. For this moment, she was _extremely_ grateful to Foaly for making the suits one-size-fits-all and very stretchable. "I wonder how that happened?"

"I can't say for certain what happened, but I think it's something like this: Unlike our previous trips in time, we don't actually belong in _this_ timeline, so our matter didn't exist here and had to be created. According to Einstein's equation of energy-mass equivalence, the only thing that can form matter is energy. So I'm guessing that your magic was taken up to form your body during materialization, while my body used the ambient heat energy in the room- hence the cold and the frost. "

Artemis looked down at himself and the edges of his lips turned down momentarily as he pulled on a loose sleeve.

"That doesn't seem to have been enough though. I think I lost a bit of mass."

Holly blinked and truly studied the boy's figure for the first time since they reappeared. It seemed he was right. His clothes were looser than they were before and she suddenly realized that if she _had_ been her usual height, she would have never been able to stretch her legs down far enough to cover his while still pressing her head against his heart like she had just done.

"That still doesn't explain why I got taller…"

Artemis glanced between himself and the captain several times.

"I guess when we were traveling in the time stream, we count as a single system… so some of my mass became energy and was reformed as uh… fairy flesh based on the template your body presented in order to keep our combined mass equal to when we left."

Holly stared at him like he had suddenly grown several heads.

"Ew… I still have no idea why I'm bigger, but I understood the last part. It's just… _ew_," she paused, "We are _never_ doing any unnecessary time jaunts ever again."

"It came from energy Holly, so it isn't really any different from any other part of your body, except that you have more mass now."

The elf quirked an eyebrow at him disapprovingly.

"Didn't your mother ever teach you not to tell women they got fatter?"

"But you didn't-" Artemis groaned, "never mind…"

'_Females…'_ then, _'hm, wow, imagine the power I could get with a security program based on the female mind! Always shifting and completely unpredictable, it'd be nearly as powerful as the C Cube encryption…'_

Indeed, in this respect, even the great Artemis Fowl was a pathetic creature.

He coughed loudly.

"Eh hem. Anyway, we need to figure out how to get halfway around the world. In case you were wondering captain, we're in the Temple Bar chameleon pod in Dublin."

The elf looked around the grey walls of the room with the new information in mind, and the environment seemed to click this time in her mind. The springy walls, the computers, the beds and the dusty translucent panel overlooking the Temple Bar district. Apparently, the hole that Opal had blasted through it in their time line hadn't been made in this one.

That was odd, the panel should have been see-through, and the lights of Dublin should have been clear through it. Yet all was dark.

"Yes," she turned and saw Artemis staring out the window too, towards what should have been the city lights. He continued, "you see as well now that we have a problem. Of course, it could just be that the window is old and needs massive amounts of cleaning, but technically, the last time we were here was what, four years ago?"

"Impossible," Holly declared, "these pods were built to last nearly a century without maintenance."

"We need more information," muttered the boy.

He stepped back and rummaged through one of the bags on the floor. Seconds later, a blue flash emitted from his palm as Holly saw the C Cube's projection systems powering up.

"What are you doing?"

Fowl turned and smiled a thin smile that looked strange in the ambient lighting.

"First rule of time traveling- if you don't know what's going on, read the news."

Holly grunted.

"I'm going to check the Book again. Maybe something appeared during our return trip."

Of course, she didn't mention the fact that the other reason was so she didn't feel useless, as she had no idea how to even use the C Cube.

Holly gingerly peeled apart the pages of her Book with cold fingers as she heard Artemis muttering commands in English, causing the room's colors to flicker and change as the hologram did.

When she found what she was looking for, she read it.

And the room suddenly felt twice as cold.

Sweat seemed to form and rolled down her neck within a moment.

This is what she saw.

"_The Earth shall bathe in water and fire,_

_And cities of Mud shall fall into mire._

_Then one great family, one of eight,_

_Shall fall from the heavens and peace abate."_

She stopped reading.

"A-Artemis…" she said slowly with a shaking voice, "you should come see this…"

He didn't respond, and when she looked up, she saw his face past several translucent holograms.

It was nearly as white as when he had been frozen and looked sickly in the pale light.

"I think I know what you're going to say…" he whispered.

Her eyes finally focused on the images floating in front of him. There were five of them- two pictures and three blocks of text with a smaller image next to one.

A picture taken from the ground looking up as a pair of blackened, yet fiery rocks hurtled towards the ground.

A picture that looked to be from space that showed the British Isles and a small part of the European mainland. Their entire western portions were flooded as the sea invaded spaces humans had claimed.

Two texts were of different languages, but both were human tongues. Artemis read them for her in Gnommish in a raspy voice.

"Aliens Found in Earth Crust- Possess Advanced Weaponry and Powers, Governments Holding Emergency Summit" A small captioned photo of a bullet-ridden goblin corpse appeared next to the words.

The second, which was obviously newer: "Fairy Space Attack on North Atlantic Cities: Cease-fire Ends- EU Retaliation Imminent"

Holly tried very hard to make some sort of response, but she felt stuck, and her blood seemed frozen. She felt sick, like she wanted to throw up violently.

The last image was in numerals, and at least that she could read on her own. It showed days, months, years, hours, minutes, and an ever-increasing seconds count.

They had missed- and landed five years too late.

The captain's Book slipped from her hands and fell to the floor with a flutter.

* * *

**A/N: **And... cue dramatic music.

Anyway... my sincere apologies to Einstein and his estate for butchering and truncating his work for the sake of plot. Also, Holly's height change wasn't put in here for the reason that most people are probably thinking.


	11. Chronology

**A/N:** Most of the section dividers in this chapter are just for switching between Holly's and Artemis' perspectives.

* * *

**Artemis Fowl: The Book of Ages**

Chronology

* * *

'_This is not happening… this is not happening… THIS IS NOT HAPPENING…'_

Holly was sitting on a low cot on one side of the observation pod. She was drenched in cold sweat, which formed faster than her suit could wick it away. Her hands were grasping the sides of her head with an iron grip, pressing against her temples as if the action could take away the pounding she was feeling in her brain.

It was all gone.

Everything the People had worked on to preserve their way of life, their peace, their homes, their families. Everything the Lower Elements Police had built up as some measure of confidence that they were secure, that interspecies conflict would never again mar the face of the Earth as it had ten thousand years ago.

It was like the history books were coming to life. The killing fields of Taillte, the battle for the Yangtze, failed diplomacy in with the humans near the Nile, the collapse of the Frond Dynasty.

The retreat from the surface.

Fairies tried to avoid war at nearly any cost- even withdrawing into the bowels of the Earth, just to see its surface taken over by another species.

Now she was seeing every fairy's worst nightmare playing out before her in incomprehensible languages and terrifying images. She was almost glad her magic was gone- at least she didn't have to understand the occasionally frantic, but usually cold human commentary on the systematic search and seizure of fairy forts worldwide.

Holly realized she was shaking, and drew her knees up against her chest slowly, still staring forward though not actually seeing.

'_If we came five years too late, then it was more than a decade ago that I should have been captured… is this all because I ended up safe in my own bed that night instead of drugged and trapped in a concrete prison?'_

The elf focused her vision at the pale teen across from her, who was watching several newscasts and reading an online newspaper at the same time.

Right now, Holly knew that she would rather have been kidnapped by a conceited, uncaring, evil little boy a thousand times over than live in the reality she was in now.

* * *

Arty was gone.

That wasn't saying, of course that the boy was physically gone. It was just that the side of the young Fowl that would have let anyone even call him 'Arty' was, at the moment, hidden somewhere deep in the recesses of his psyche.

Artemis Fowl, the criminal mastermind and child prodigy extraordinaire, was the one watching the outside world right now. He dully noted that Holly was something akin to a bag of nerves right now, but focused more on the flashing pictures and text before him. Time was not on their side, and they needed as much information as they could get to back them up before coming up with a plan.

He needed answers.

The most obvious question would have probably been: _What the hell was going on with the world?_

That, at least, was slowly being answered. Artemis did not like the answer much.

Then, of course, there was the question of where Trouble and N°1 were. To that, he had no answer. There was the worst case scenario naturally, but he didn't want to believe _that_ had happened.

Finally, there was the all important question: how to fix the world.

'_If I had a gram of gold for every time someone tried to answer that one…' _thought Fowl, _'I'd be… well, I'd be richer, I suppose.'_

His face twisted into a slight grimace as he mentally chided himself. Thinking of gold at a time like this!

Two newspapers hung in the air before him, even as a ten year old news clip of a tall German reporter spoke quietly to his left. The print articles scrolled up at nearly a page a second, and Artemis was actually pressed to concentrate in order to read them quickly enough. At least they were the same language. To most other people, the words would have been a blur, but to the boy's trained eyes, they showed a terrible tragedy.

Artemis accelerated the video playback, and the German began speaking nearly twice as fast.

They needed information. And they needed it now.

* * *

Once again, Holly Short was back to feeling completely and utterly useless.

It obviously wasn't very rational of her, as she had just saved Artemis' life hours earlier, but when elves had their emotions strung up, they tended not to be too rational. How long had it been since Artemis had begun 'reading the news' as he put it? Hours? It certainly felt like hours to Holly, but really it was probably less than one.

The quickly shifting pictures on the newscast and the completely foreign words were really getting to the elf. Especially the language thing. It just felt so… unnatural for her not to be able to understand what the humans were saying. It was an ability so innate for fairies that for Holly, not having it was like suddenly going deaf.

She gave in and spoke for the first time in what seemed like a long time.

"Artemis…" she began slowly, and saw the boy's gaze flicker down from the images to look at her, "can you stop for a minute?"

Fowl's brow knitted ever so slightly, but he quickly pressed a button on the cube in front of him which paused all three holographic screens.

"Yes?"

Holly moved to sit on one of the beds so she wouldn't have to look at him through a hologram. She took a long look at his impassive face before speaking again.

"Tell me what's going on" she said seriously.

Though to her, it sounded more like a plea.

* * *

Artemis blinked and felt like he had forgotten something very important. Well, obviously he had. In the back of his brain, he probably knew what was going on, but he was too preoccupied to realize it. With the urgency of the situation, he had unconsciously slipped back into his old mannerisms, taking in information, formulating a plan, testing possible scenarios, and completely ignoring everything else.

'_Oh, right…'_ he realized, a bit late, _'I should probably tell her…'_

When he saw her look though, and remembered what he had just been reading and listening to, he grimaced. He took a shuddering breath and tried to think of the best way to put things.

"I've gone through about four years worth of major fairy related news reports… and it isn't good."

Artemis saw that his hands were shaking a little. Curious, he had been perfectly fine when he was reading.

"Tell me," ordered the elf with a hard look, "and start from the beginning."

"Of course."

The boy laid one hand on top of the other to still them and took another breath.

"Eleven years ago, I was supposed to… kidnap you."

Holly didn't react. Artemis continued.

"That never happened here, so this is the set of events that is more stable than the world we're from, that doesn't rest on a paradox. Just over ten years ago, fairy sightings around the world skyrocketed. Or more precisely- goblin sightings, mostly in Ireland and southern France."

Artemis pulled up one of the articles he had been reading earlier- the one with the goblin image on one side. He saw Holly cringe at the sight of the multiple bullet wounds on the fairy's chest. The text was in French, so he summarized and translated it for Holly.

"French police found a goblin apparently wandering in an abandoned farm around the Côte d'Azur region a few miles from the France-Italy border. The goblin was originally thought to be just some child in a costume- but then when it saw the humans, it started throwing fire around. Police… tend not to take too well to being attacked by fireballs, and they reacted… and fired back with handguns."

Holly's expression darkened and she spoke with a low voice.

"What happened to LEP incident control?"

Artemis shook his head.

"I have to guess that they failed, or got there too late. The body disappeared from the lab where it was being examined though a few days later. The LEP probably got it back then, but the pictures were already out. People who had been paying attention to the story passed it off as a hoax, and the examiner who had believed it was a real unknown species was disgraced and fired from her job.

"The next reports came nearly a year later, but they were all just moonlight sightings, nothing too substantial. A small group of Irish scientists were independently checking the reports though, and they were gaining evidence for the existence of the People. Four months after the French sighting, the incident at Los Angeles happened."

"What incident?"

"A goblin unshielded in broad daylight in the middle of downtown Los Angeles. It was already badly hurt and when a few humans went out to look at it, one of them tripped on something invisible…"

Holly groaned. "The Retrieval officer assigned to catch him…"

Artemis nodded.

"Yes, and oddly enough, he didn't have wings with him either. There was a whole crowd by then, so he couldn't escape. He unshielded and apparently tried to _mesmerize_ the crowd. There were too many of them though, and he was caught."

Artemis saw the captain pressed a hand against her face and screwed her eyes shut.

"That's when the People made first contact" he whispered.

* * *

Holly snapped her head back up, and her eyes widened in shock. It shouldn't have been shocking of course, since it had to happen sooner or later with all the runaways and the capture of an officer, but still, after nearly ten thousand years of secrecy, official contact was an earth-shattering development.

"How?" she asked urgently.

"Completely unlike the LEP response to me. Commander Root actually went aboveground with only two backup officers and just… spoke to the human police chief. No time stop, no containment, nothing. It was all real time and the Commander was already at a severe disadvantage."

Holly sucked in a breath of air. Commander Root- of course, he was probably still alive in this world.

"How could Foaly let this happen without containment? We had all the tech we needed for that, even if it was an urban area!"

"I can't say."

Something was seriously wrong. How could all of this have happened? The captain tried hard to think back, wading through memories to try to find some key event that must have gone wrong, something that would have made contact inevitable.

"The revolution succeeded…" she whispered.

The very same goblin revolution that had only failed because of intervention by the two in that very room.

Fowl's face was a grim mask, but he nodded just once, slowly.

"That was my conclusion as well. With goblins in control of Haven, their recklessness would have let all of this occur when the generals expanded their territory. Anyway, the chief was already _mesmerized_ and went to file for the release of the bodies. Still, as soon as he saw the news the next day, he had total memory recall. The news was rather bad."

"There's bad news too?" asked Holly with sarcasm on her every syllable.

"A group of about twenty goblins started attacking a rural town in eastern France, and though they were initially skeptical, the military finally got involved. Needless to say, all hell broke loose after that."

Terrible images began flashing through the elf's mind. Human armies clashing with severely outnumbered goblin gangsters, and the rest of the People caught in the lethal crossfire. That wasn't too far from the truth.

"The town was retaken, but by now Haven was desperate and the humans were frantic. The LEP eventually made contact with high level government during an emergency G8 summit. They already knew that any secrecy they had was blown, and it was pure anarchy underground, so they called for help."

"The enemy of my enemy is my friend," muttered Holly sardonically.

"Yes," agreed Fowl, "but unlike the goblin revolution of our timeline, this was a disaster. Government bureaucracy delayed an official response by nearly six months, but smaller, local groups had already sprung up to help one side or another when a fairy popped up. Eight and a half years ago, human forces finally responded. A joint European Union military force stormed Haven with the help of the LEP and restored order."

Holly's face turned into an expression of amazement.

"They actually worked together? So how are they at war now?"

"That's years later," responded the boy, "at that time, there were peaceful relations, and though neither side really trusted the other, hostilities were very local and far between. I suppose to both the People and humans it was sort of a surreal experience, since now aboveground travel became a lot more common among the People, and quite a few humans had actually visited Haven and Atlantis. Where I'm up to now, eight years ago, is when things turned bad."

He gave a verbal command in English to the C Cube, which immediately switched to a display of a fuzzy, almost translucent figure in the middle of a human city. Despite the poor image quality, it was clear what it was.

A warped demon in the middle of a city square.

"Oh no…" whispered Holly as her eyes landed on it.

"Demons started to land eight years ago, and the appearances grew more and more frequent over the next three years. Human paranoia grew considerably, and the relations between the humans and fairies became strained. Eventually, the British Prime Minister accused the People of intentionally withholding information about the demons."

"We had the information," said Holly, "and there's no way we wouldn't have shared it if it became a problem."

"I agree," replied Artemis, "but I think that perhaps because so few people knew about the Eighth Family, and the information itself was so restricted, it might have been lost during the revolution."

"That makes sense," agreed Holly grimly, "Section Eight was a tiny group, and its security funding was probably pulled as soon as the revolution began to get out of hand."

"That's all I've gotten up to so far," said Fowl.

The elf doubted that. While he might have only read four years worth of news, there was certainly a lot more information that he had gotten that he wasn't telling her. Right now though, she trusted him enough to believe he was giving her all the important bits without boring her to death.

"What about the space attack?" she asked, "and the meteors?"

"I was just looking into that right now."

Holly gave him a minute to read the five articles he had floating in the air. She noticed most of them had huge lettering screaming some message to their readers that she could not begin to decipher.

When Artemis was done, he closed his eyes and looked to be trying to piece together an explanation. After a moment, he started.

"Seven years ago, the island of Hybras landed on Earth."

Holly cursed under her breath.

"No one was there to control its landing, and it broke up in Limbo, as we saw yesterday. Small fragments appeared in space and destroyed a few communications satellites, before burning up in the atmosphere. But the biggest pieces materialized _much_ closer."

A map replaced the articles as Holly watched Artemis mark three spots on the Earth with bright red lights as he spoke.

"The largest fragments landed primarily in three places: one in the Gobi Desert region of southern Mongolia, two in the Atlantic Ocean- one three hundred miles east of Halifax, and the other, five hundred miles off the coast of Ireland. The last one didn't appear in the atmosphere like the other two had, but rather materialized in the ocean itself, causing a lot more water displacement. The desert impact turned the sand into a glass crater for nearly ten square miles and caused an earthquake felt as far away as Beijing. The ocean landings caused waves which flooded the eastern parts of Nova Scotia and the northeast United States, as well as western Ireland and Scotland."

Holly stared at the map with a deadened expression.

"…and the Mud Men accused the People…" she muttered.

"They thought it was a so-called 'space attack,' and within two weeks, human governments began to move against Haven."

Artemis went back to an internet search page, as Holly assumed he was looking for what happened next. He didn't put up a new site though, but rather stared at one of the search results with slightly wide eyes.

"Interesting…" he mumbled.

* * *

Exclusive Interview with Dr. A. Fowl

Artemis continued to stare at the words with surprise.

'_I guess I shouldn't be surprised,'_ he thought, _'I was bound to get involved sooner or later…'_

"What?" asked Holly next to him.

"It's me," he said without turning.

He opened the site and a video began to play as he looked on in a sort of morbid curiosity.

An aged Caucasian man in a dark burgundy suit looked into the camera with an almost excited expression. His wrinkled face and thick-framed glasses gave him a sort of grandfatherly look, but Artemis could see from the studio setting behind him that he was an interviewer of some sort.

"This is Martin Paul," introduced the man, "and I'm here with Artemis Fowl II of Ireland, a noted expert on the fairy People and a person considered by many to be the brightest living mind. And he's only twenty one years old!"

The shot changed to show another person.

To say that this man looked identical to the Artemis who was watching right now would have almost been true. He wore a pressed Armani suit, and his jet black hair was neatly parted just a bit away from the middle of his head, not unlike one of the clip's viewers. Of course the one who was watching had his hair rather tousled by the recent events, but it still looked strikingly alike. The man on the screen had a face that was just a little longer that Artemis' own, and his cheekbones appeared more defined. His piercing blue eyes complemented a pair of thin lips that were upturned ever so slightly in what might have been arrogance, secrecy or humor.

"Artemis Fowl," began the interviewer in a joking tone "CEO. MD. PhD. PhD. PhD. DSc. Esq." he paused, "Sir, how should I address you?"

"How indeed," the on-screen Artemis gave a low chuckle, "Mister is fine, Doctor if you must."

"Naturally," laughed the newsman. He composed himself a moment later and began the first of what must have been a small book's worth of questions.

"Let's start from the beginning then Dr. Fowl. Since this _is_ the first television interview you've granted since we media people have started asking a number of years ago, can you tell us a little about how you got into all the fairy business?"

Fowl's eyes twinkled a little and he wore a tight smirk.

"Well, before I became known to the newspapers the 'Fairy Boy,' I worked in the alternative energy sector."

"And revolutionized it with your breakthrough eight years ago," interjected Paul.

"Well, yes, there was that. Since I gave up keeping my contributions to the nuclear fusion field secret a while ago, I can say now that my company that first made fusion into a feasible energy source. The fact that I was thirteen at the time made it seem like a bad idea to get tangled with the media."

The camera flashed a look on the interviewer's incredulous face.

"I've always held a bit of a fascination with unlikely sources of power, so when the goblins started to show up, I immediately became engrossed in answering the question of what could possibly allow them to keep us in the dark about their very existence for so long. Their technology must have been incredible! But within a little time of actually studying them, I became much more interested in People themselves as opposed to their batteries."

"Well, let me get straight to the point here then," said Paul, "knowing as much as you do about the fairies, what do _you_ think about the current situation?"

Fowl frowned.

"For one thing, I don't believe at all that the so-called 'attack' was actually what many people thought it was."

"What do you mean?" the man inquired.

"I think that the People were just as clueless as we were about the rocks. The closest thing they have to actual information about it is an old legend about a demon colony that was teleported out of time. None of the fairy scientists I've spoken to when we were on good terms ever had a suspicion that something as cataclysmic as this could have happened."

"And how could you know they weren't lying?"

Dr. Fowl rolled his eyes quickly.

"One of those doctorates you mentioned was a psychology one and I've written some of the most influential psychological research papers since Freud. I know when I'm being deceived."

The interviewer nodded in silence.

"I'm quite opposed to the military action being taken," continued Fowl, "we could do so much more with the fairies as our allies, and though we'd certainly win a war against them, we'd also destroy thousands of years worth of records on history, science, and even magic. It's totally not worth it."

"But people say that you're making millions with the military contracts for your fusion reactors which even now are being installed on every new plane, ship, shuttle and tank," accused Paul.

The image of Artemis scowled deeply.

"Make no mistake Mr. Paul," he said sharply, "I did not _want _to sell my technology to be put in any weapons systems. The European Union simply invoked its legal power of 'compulsory purchase' to basically _force _me to give it to them, and in effect, to all their allies. The fact that I am being compensated for the reactors is a moot point."

"What about challenging it in court then?"

Fowl breathed an exasperated sigh.

"I can't win a legal battle against the entirety of the EU. Not that I'm a bad lawyer, mind you, but more because of the little fact that _they happen to control the courts_."

"Alright, quite true," conceded the man, as he shuffled his papers, apparently to go on to something else.

"Concerning a recent statement made by the Secretary General of the United Nations…"

* * *

Thirty minutes later, Artemis and Holly were eating from packs of what looked like green slime. It actually looked greener than it was supposed to be because of the light from the glow cube in the middle of the room.

Holly saw Artemis gulp down the stuff with a distracted air, and tried to break the silence.

"The slurry's made of a mixture of algae and artificial nutrients grown in Atlantis," she told him, motioning towards the pouches they held and the ones in the survival kits on the floor.

The boy nodded absently, seemingly not interested at all about gathering information.

"What do you think of your other self?" asked Holly curiously, trying to get him to say something.

"I'm nicer than I expected," he said dryly, "But I bet I'm really still an arrogant, selfish jerk somewhere in there."

The captain raised an eyebrow.

"What, so meeting me made you humble and sociable?"

"Hardly," replied Artemis, then he paused, "but maybe I'm a better person than the man we were listening to."

Holly thought about the idea for a moment.

'_Heh, well if I can make Artemis Fowl a nice person, saving the world should be easy!'_ she thought sardonically.

The silence enveloped them again, and the elf let a minute pass before asking the question she had been holding back ever since she found out Artemis was still alive.

"What do we do now?"

Her own voice sounded so strained and dry, despite the water she was drinking just a minute ago.

Artemis set the algae down and rested his chin on his hand with his legs crossed under him.

"Dublin's under martial law because of its proximity to the fairy fort at Tara, so our options are limited. That's also why most of the lights are out. Apparently they're afraid of an air strike, and this is part of their defense" he said with an almost mocking tone. He let out a tired sigh before continuing.

"Let me see what you were reading in the Book, I need to see if it changes anything I've thought of so far."

Holly opened up the golden volume, but quickly gasped in surprise at what she was looking at.

"Problem?" asked the boy across from her as he stood up and looked over her shoulder.

The captain pointed at the passage.

_The Earth shall bathe in water and fire,_

_And cities of Mud shall fall into mire._

_Then one great family, one of eight,_

_Shall fall from the heavens and peace abate._

_But fear not traveler! For if it shall be found,_

_That even in ruins, aid will abound._

"The last two lines weren't there when I last checked," she told him.

"That sounds hopeful," Artemis commented behind her, "but honestly, that's far too vague to change anything."

He sat down again and looked Holly in the eye.

"You aren't going to like my plan," he said seriously.

Holly shut the Book and let it drop back on the chain that held it around her neck before giving Artemis a small, humorless smile.

"I never like your plans- seems I usually end up following them anyway."

"Of course," said Fowl, "Well, the way I see it, you need your magic back,"

"Yes," agreed Holly quickly.

"And we're going to need more resources before we figure out what to do about Mu. Unfortunately, finding Trouble and N°1 is going to have to come later. Right now, we don't have nearly what we need to even begin to look for anyone or anything, especially with N°1 missing."

Holly frowned. It made perfect sense of course, but she still hated it.

"It's too dangerous to go to any Ritual sites right now, since they're all being closely guarded, so we'll go for resources first."

"What kind of resources?" asked Holly slowly.

"Resources to get us to the other side of the world without questions being asked," answered Artemis, "In other words, bribes."

The captain's mouth dropped open an inch.

"No way…"

"_Aurum est potestas_ Holly. Gold is power. Maybe power enough right now to help us save our world."

Holly stared at him with a pained expression. She knew what was coming next.

'_Stupid Mud Boy… why does he always have to be right?' _she thought angrily.

Artemis stood up and stared out towards the city, which was just starting to be lit up by a morning sun.

"We, Holly, are going to have to rob a bank."


	12. Other Side of the Law

**A/N:** I know, I'm late. Please don't kill me.

* * *

**Artemis Fowl: The Book of Ages**

Other Side of the Law

* * *

**Tverskoy District, Moscow- the previous night**

The Café Noir was considered by many Muscovites to be among the best restaurants their city had to offer. Naturally, this meant that the overwhelming majority of them had never even set foot in it. It was the kind of place many a Russian man dreamt of bringing his date to, as if the sophistication and exclusive vibe of the place would be reflected on him as well. Most were deterred immediately by the price. Those who weren't fazed by the numbers turned back after seeing the waiting list. They wanted to go there before they started to go bald, after all.

The dark, decidedly French décor hinted at a very upscale traditional European restaurant. Hinted, because the rather low lighting that seemed to be everywhere made it hard for most patrons to make out the details of the room at night beyond what the designers specifically wanted them to see- the set of square cherry tables, a trio of original Impressionist pieces, and the one main door. If it had been snowing outside tonight, the stark contrast between snow-covered ground outside and deep darkness inside would have blinded anybody who came in. But tonight was a clear night in Moscow.

This particular man had made his reservation six months previously. The fact that he got a table tonight was perhaps a testament to his affluence and influence. In other words, it showed how many strings he could pull. But even he had to wait this long.

It didn't matter. The timing was right anyway. He'd planned it.

"I almost feel nostalgic," commented Hunter lightly to his companion.

"As good as the end of the revolution?" asked Opal, her cat-like eyes gleaming in the soft light.

Opal Koboi. Here was a pixie who took to being human with quite a bit of grace. Of course, she was the _only_ pixie who had ever taken to becoming human so you couldn't really compare. But that wasn't something you told her.

Instead, you told her that she carried herself very well for a person who had a sudden two-foot growth spurt five years ago and didn't mention the fact that she refused to even try to walk normally for a full month after becoming human. You also told her that despite being the most beautiful creature under the planet as a pixie, she immediately became the most beautiful creature above it as a human- and still retained the former title. Though that was most likely not true, Opal actually wasn't bad to look at in reality- if you could ignore the usual crazed gleam in her eyes.

Yes, you would tell her all of this, and then hope that she took it at face value- which she probably would- and didn't bite your head off.

"It wasn't the same. That was more like a very smooth transition. This one's an ending."

"Sure," agreed Opal, spearing a chocolate truffle with her thin fork, "but won't they just re-form and come back? Somebody out there knows it was you, I have a feeling about it."

She had a _feeling_, so _naturally_ it was the truth.

"You're right of course," agreed the man, "but my dear Ms. Koboi, whoever _does_ come back won't be the same people who wronged me. _This_ crime network has been shut down and will stay that way."

A light buzzing came from Hunter's suit pocket.

"Excuse me," he said as he fished out a small mobile phone and glanced at its screen.

Opal's tried to form a frown with her lips while holding the rather large truffle in her mouth. It worked, but it wasn't exactly the look she would have wanted.

Hunter replaced the phone a second later and sighed theatrically.

"Selene Petroleum Group's shares just hit rock bottom. The buyers are all backing out."

The former pixie chewed for a moment then swallowed.

"You'll file for bankruptcy then?" she asked with a small, ironic smile.

The man shrugged. "That's the way it goes I suppose. You win some, you lose some."

A figure moved at the edge of his vision and a waiter stepped forward into the light holding a pair of tall glasses and a bottle of wine with a layer of frost over it. The table's occupants watched silently as he uncorked it with a _pop_ and poured the amber liquid out before retreating back into the darkness, leaving the bottle on the table.

Hunter picked up a glass delicately by its stem and took a moment to enjoy its fragrant scent. He lifted it up.

"To the end of a once-great crime family, and a once-great company."

"And to the start of _my _new project, finally" added Opal as she brought up her own glass, holding no more concerns for fairy laws about alcohol.

Their glasses clinked heartily and Hunter gave a small chuckle.

"Exactly," he agreed.

* * *

**Temple Bar District, Dublin- morning**

"Like hell we're going to rob a bank!" exploded Holly as Artemis watched on.

'_Hm, I was right…'_ he thought quietly. He had composed a list of five possible responses the captain might have given him while staring out at the city moments earlier. The one she gave was response number two.

It was almost funny how quickly their relationship sprang back to the old criminal verses police conflict. It was only a few hours ago that Holly had saved him from an untimely death by using a rather compromising medical procedure. In the boy's mind, if she could do that, robbing a bank would be nothing.

'_Honestly,'_ he thought, _'if she had enough nerve to… do what she did… this can't be very difficult.'_

Artemis pressed a thumb against his temple and shut his eyes, raking his brain for options.

"Think about what our current state Holly," he said calmly, "practically speaking, we have no identities, and whoever I might think to ask for help is liable to, one, call me a crazy and woefully unprepared imposter and two, shoot you on sight. Anyone you'd want to ask would have the same suspicions about you and equally little remorse after shooting me."

"There has to be another way," Holly ground out through clenched teeth.

There were a few moments of silence in the room as Artemis let her mull it over. She seemed to be coming up empty. The boy studied his fingernails patiently.

"_Isn't_ there another way to get to the Pacific?" the elf asked finally, unable to think of much.

"Sure," responded the boy mildly, "if you don't mind hitchhiking for months on end and running the very real risk of being discovered as a fairy at every stop and trip. Of course, I can't imagine being able to get a free ride going overseas."

Holly suddenly eyed him suspiciously.

"You aren't carrying _anything_ useful with you?"

Artemis knew what she meant, and frowned. He heaved a sigh and reached inside his coat pocket, pulling out a thin black leather wallet. He removed the three identity cards, a black credit card and laid out what cash he had.

'_The things I do to prove myself…'_ he thought.

Of the three IDs, there was an Irish driver's license, a pilot's certification card, and a Russian university ID- all of which had Artemis' own picture on them. The banknotes totaled perhaps a few hundred Euros, mostly in orange fifties.

Artemis watched Holly stare at his identification cards for a moment, and though she couldn't read the language printed on them, he knew she could at least recognize his name. She picked up the Russian one immediately.

"This one's different from the other two," she commented.

"Oh?"

Holly glared at him.

Artemis rolled his eyes and took the card from her, pointing out the name under the picture.

"This is one of my foreign cover identities. Stefan Bashkir is a Russian alias I set up years ago when I had to frequent the country looking for my father. Speaking of which, it may be wise to get rid of normal identity cards soon."

"And what are these?" asked Holly, turning to the banknotes, apparently satisfied with Fowl's answer.

Artemis smirked.

"That, Holly, is called money- surely a concept even you've heard of."

She made an irritated grunting noise at him.

"It's made of paper," she said doubtfully.

"Well not all of us humans like to carry around pocketfuls of gold coins," replied the boy.

"Would it be enough for us to use?" she asked, clearly unfamiliar with aboveground currency. Artemis reminded himself that the People had gone straight from gold to plastic credit tiles in their commerce, skipping the paper step entirely, though still often using gold for minor exchanges.

"Even _I _don't carry around that much," said Artemis as he quickly calculated the value in his head, "At the exchange rates right before we left, it's about an ounce's worth in gold."

Artemis picked up the black plastic card from the floor.

"In terms of money, _this_ would be most valuable. It could probably get us enough to work with."

He should know, the Fowl credit line was somewhere above the annual gross domestic product of several small countries.

"So why don't we-" started Holly.

"Me." Fowl interrupted simply, flicking the card between several fingers, "Assuming this still works, using this would alert the other, older me that someone was taking money from his bank accounts. It would be best if we _don't_ alert him to our existence."

Stealing from a younger, less experienced Artemis was one thing, but stealing from an adult, well connected and exceedingly influential Artemis was another thing entirely.

Holly stared hard at the contents of Fowl's wallet, apparently still trying to think of another option. Artemis let the items lay there on the ground. He knew most of them wouldn't help much in any case.

"Your Bashkir identity…" she said slowly, "you must've had some funds attached to it…"

"No," replied Artemis immediately, "the money associated with that persona was held by Constantine Bashkir, a cover used by Butler."

"So can't you just… you know, take something from there?"

Fowl smiled at that. There was really no other way to do things- knowingly or not, even Holly conceded that now.

"That kind of taking money, captain, is called robbing a bank."

The elf's chocolate complexion turned several shades redder.

"No it's not!" she defended, "It was your money anyway!"

"Which is registered under Butler from this world, which was supplied by the other me. Any way you look at it, it's really no different. Stealing money is stealing money."

Holly scowled deeply at him for a moment before opening her mouth slowly and taking a long, shuddering breath.

"I hate you," she said flatly, pressing her lips together into a thin line for a second, her eyes never leaving his even as he frowned. Then she wrinkled her nose as if there was some disgusting odor that had just passed by it and spoke again. "Fine… tell me. How… how do we rob a bank?"

Artemis' frown disappeared as quickly as it had come. A small part of him suddenly wanted to wear an evil little smile and say something along the lines of 'congratulations, welcome to the dark side.' He pushed that part of his mind down before he could begin to actually consider acting on that impulse. Provoking Holly at the moment would not have been a very wise course of action.

"Well, I think this time, it should be something straightforward."

His hands flew over the C Cube's translucent keyboard and a map of the city flashed up above him. In quick succession, nearly a hundred red points popped up on the image: the banks of the city. As the boy typed in more search parameters, some of them began to wink off.

"Nothing too spectacular," he continued, ignoring the elf's rolled eyes, "since we're rather constrained as it is."

And constrained they were. Aside from lacking proper identities, they also didn't have outside support or any specialized equipment. That, and Holly couldn't even enter a bank at all without express permission. That would be rather hard to get.

"What, straightforward as in you'll hack some unsuspecting bank's computers until they think you own a lot of gold which you then take?" asked Holly in an irritated tone.

"Cash, Holly, currency, not gold," corrected Artemis, "but you're not _that_ far off."

Only three banks remained on the map now, and pictures of them popped up next to their icons on the map.

"First National, Union Savings, and the Southern Bank of Ireland. I think these will do for a start," said Artemis.

"For a start!?" said Holly with an angry start, "Are you planning on some robbery spree or something?"

"It's called casing Holly," responded the boy quickly, "We have to find the right place to operate and having several options is necessary. In any case, we won't need to take much… I'd say around sixty to eighty thousand or so would be sufficient."

Holly didn't exactly look happy with the explanation. In truth, Artemis didn't like it either. Stealing money from the outrageously wealthy to benefit a pair of desperate time travelers was all good and well, but he was robbing a _bank_ for _currency_. The boy almost groaned at whole situation. A criminal mastermind like he should _never_ be forced to pull a simple job like this. This was crime without class and certainly beneath someone who had been able to lift nearly a ton of gold from a race of people who were thought to be imaginary.

Artemis gently reminded himself that this was no time for theatrics. Usually Butler would have been the one to tell him these things, but then again, if the Eurasian man had been around right now, his network of contacts could have made the whole thing so much faster.

His fingers suddenly stopped.

"What?" asked Holly, noticing the change.

"I just realized that this could be a _lot_ easier," glancing at the elf, he added, "and more _ethical_ than I originally thought."

Of course, Artemis Fowl was hardly the best judge of ethics.

* * *

**Temple Bar District, Dublin- dusk**

"I'm telling you Holly, you don't have to come with me."

"And I'm telling _you_ Arty, that I'm not going to sit here and wait for you to get hurt again!" the captain shot back.

"If you get caught-"

"I _won't _get caught. Believe it or not, I was trained to hide from humans aboveground years before you were born."

She thought that would shut him up. Apparently, it didn't.

"Yes, but now they know about fairies and it won't be that easy anymore. I can do this on my own Holly, it's not that difficult," said Artemis.

Holly stood her ground.

"I'm coming. End of discussion," she said in the most 'I'm right, don't argue with me' tone she could manage.

The boy stared at her for a moment before heaving a sigh. He knew when Holly was this set on something, it was nearly impossible to dissuade her. Which meant that he could, but would have to waste too much time doing it.

"Fine," he said, pulling out his mobile phone and pressing a few keys. The fairy communicator disguised as a ring on his finger beeped once then quieted. "But stay outside," he warned, "and contact me only if you have to and it'll go through to my phone. Try not to though- speaking Gnommish in front of other humans would probably make me a tad conspicuous."

Artemis had actually reasoned that the captain probably _could_ go inside a human dwelling without any adverse effects. All of those problems had been caused by the laws put down on fairy magic since shortly after the People gave up the surface. But with Holly completely drained of magic already… there wouldn't be any problems.

In theory.

Neither of them was especially eager to test this out.

"Let's go then," prompted Holly, releasing the first of a set of double doors to the outside world.

Artemis stepped forward and released the second. A flat concrete roof greeted him and the smell of alcohol and grease filled his nostrils. The curving rectangular shapes of metal vents came up from the ground and gleamed in the light of the setting sun. He wrinkled his nose and grimaced.

"Foaly sure knows how to put cham pods… on top of a pub of all places!" remarked Fowl.

"You have everything?" asked Holly urgently from behind him.

"Yes captain," he responded with just a hint of tension in his voice.

The pair stepped out onto the roof as the pneumatic hiss of the doors closed behind them, leaving only what appeared to be a squat brick extension of the building visible from the outside. It was a good thing that this particular pub had changed hands enough times that its current owner didn't question the oddity. In fact, he used one side of it to hang the establishment's sign: a gold and green woodcut which read 'Mac's Pub' in large letters, each roughly the size of Holly Short.

When they reached the edge of the roof, Holly held out a dull grey Moonbelt, which the boy hooked both arms around.

"Hold on," she whispered as the nearly inaudible hum of her wings started up, lifting them just a few inches off the top of the building. She descended gently to the ground, dropping the Artemis lightly in a shaded alleyway before gathering the belt back into one of her pockets.

"I'll follow above you," she said, tapping the screen on her wrist computer. Her Shimmer Suit flickered twice then disappeared along with her helmet, hiding Holly with it. It wasn't nearly as good as shielding, but it was the closest she had.

"Don't draw your gun," advised Artemis, "anything not covered by your suit will be seen."

"I know how to use my own equipment," snapped a nearly invisible Holly.

The boy nodded once then headed out. A haze-like shimmer followed nearby in the shadows.

* * *

Artemis Fowl's destination was actually not a bank.

After all, he had no business being in a bank. The main problem was that he couldn't simply walk in and go up to a teller, asking in a polite voice 'hello sir, how might your fine establishment's security be set up today?' Crimes don't work that way. He couldn't do a classic outside observation either. Sure he had a disgruntled police officer and equipment that would shame any pair of binoculars, but standing on the street in a clean Armani suit and staring into a local bank didn't appeal to him much either.

No, Master Fowl was headed for a law firm.

McConnell and Bernstein Law acted in many ways as a legitimate group, specializing in immigration and tax-related cases and turning quite a good profit from it. They were among the best in the region for rushing immigration petitions through the muck of government bureaucracy.

But the primary reason for this wasn't because they were particularly good advocates. It was because they had enough connections within the government and enough lack of morals to head a rather lucrative paper-forging side venture.

That was what Artemis needed now.

Artemis had never met anyone in the firm personally. Butler was his link to the group. It was quite a number of years ago since the boy had required any relations with McConnell and Bernstein, but now was a very good time to pull on a few old ties.

Located across the river from the chameleon pod's position and on the corner of Arch Avenue and Chaucer Lane, the firm's office was not a particularly imposing building. It had a grey granite face with a large window in the front showing a well-lit reception desk and several leather-backed chairs. The outer room was empty except for a tall, thin man in a collared white shirt with neatly parted brown hair. At the moment, he was busy finishing up the _Times_ crossword puzzle.

He looked up as soon as Artemis entered.

"I'm sorry sir but we're just about to close. Perhaps you can come back tomorrow?" he said smoothly.

"My business is rather urgent," replied the boy, walking up purposefully towards the counter. "I need to see Mr. McConnell."

The man hesitated and was about to apologize again, but Artemis added something before he could.

"Tell him I'm a friend of Colonel Xavier Lee."

If anyone bothered to actually check, Xavier Lee was a military officer in the People's Liberation Army of China. His record said that he served for a good twenty two years near the China-Nepal boarder and often visited Europe and the Americas when he took his rare vacations.

But if anyone looked further and had a talent for investigative work, it might have been found that Lee was simply a cover for Domovoi Butler. The original passport was created by a Chinese diplomat's secretary and the information of the colonel's career inserted by the same man, but McConnell and Bernstein had worked on a few other aspects of the cover- a PRC military identity card and a credit history, for example. They worked quickly, and a quick and dirty set of false papers was their specialty for some of their clients- immigrants or otherwise.

This secretary though, knew none of this.

"I'm sorry sir, but-" he began, but was cut off when another man came out from a side door.

A short, wiry man in thick gold-framed glasses stepped out. He was carrying a large black leather briefcase from which several pieces of paper stuck out on either side.

"Mr. McConnell!" stammered the secretary, "There's a- uh- person here who wants to speak to you."

The lawyer's eyes flicked over to Artemis, but the tired expression he wore didn't let up.

"We're closed," he said flatly, "If you require any of our services, Ron here can tell you how we can help you at a later time."

"Mr. McConnell," called Artemis as the man walked to leave. He continued on, pretending that he didn't hear the boy.

"I'm a friend of Xavier Lee. He recommended you."

The man stopped and turned around, his expression became suspicious.

"The colonel has many friends…" he said cautiously.

Artemis' eyes lit up and he smiled. If McConnell remembered the job he did for Butler, this wouldn't be very hard.

"Yes," he replied casually, "friends who include Constantine and Stefan Bashkir."

The old lawyer's eyes squinted and his brow furrowed as he took another look at Artemis.

"What are you getting at boy?"

"I require your services and am quite ready to pay."

McConnell looked between Artemis and the secretary and finally settled on Fowl.

"Ron, take the rest of the day off," he said without looking at the man, "I'm going to stay for a little bit."

Artemis' smile widened.

* * *

Holly Short was not in a good mood.

She was watching Artemis' interaction with an aged man through her helmet's Optix module from atop a flagpole across the street. He had already explained to her that if they wanted funds quickly without completely destroying somebody's finances and good name, he would need to create a new identity. The not ruining somebody's life part she agreed with readily enough.

He said that with a clean account, he could skim a small amount of money- a single euro or less- from many different people and have enough funds for them to get supplies and help without anyone even noticing a dip in their accounts. It was simple, and even she admitted that it didn't sound terribly evil. Not out loud though.

Still, for Holly, watching him get forged papers went completely against her mentality as a police officer.

How many scammers like this McConnell and Bernstein pair had she busted in her career? Far more than one would have expected to even be in Haven City. Well-forged aboveground visas sold like hotcakes in the fairy metropolis.

It was uncomfortable enough watching, but her bottom was also starting to ache from sitting on top of the gold ball that capped the pole.

She saw a group of children playing around a loose fire hydrant halfway down the street which was spewing water and flooding half the sidewalk. A girl in a light blue dress shrieked and laughed as her back was soaked. How oblivious they were to the war being fought miles under them.

Holly almost envied the girl.

Artemis disappeared into an inner office hidden from her view. The other two had also gone, leaving the area that the elf could see and leaving it empty.

Holly sighed, waited, and tried to think happy thoughts.

* * *

Ten minutes later Holly watched a brown-haired man exit the firm's building. He eyed the wet children warily and spoke to a few of them, apparently scolding them. Holly wasn't sure though. Three of the children ignored him and continued to play in the water. Frowning, he pulled out a black cell phone and called someone.

'_Probably calling firefighters or police… an upstanding citizen,'_ observed Holly sarcastically. Now if only the citizens of Haven would learn to stop doing stupid things like opening their own underground hydrants for fun as opposed to calling the LEP to close them every other hour, police work would have been that much easier. Not that it mattered in this world.

Two police cruisers arrived within minutes, which wasn't all that surprising considering the number of them Holly saw while flying. It took more than a few people to keep Dublin under marshal law.

Holly thought it was pretty strange for her to feel very uneasy as the officers got out of their cars. Technically, she was in the same field, and on occasion even did some of the same things they were doing around the city. Still, law enforcement or not, burly men with bullet-spitting guns tended not to calm her too much. It must have been something she picked up from being around Butler- before they became friends at least.

To her relief, Artemis appeared from the office moments later. He had a large manila envelope tucked under one arm and wore a triumphant smile as he headed out the door.

Holly called him as soon as he cleared the entrance.

"I got the identity papers, we can go back now," he said as soon as he picked up his phone, "I can go set up a bank account in the morning and move funds then."

"Good," replied Holly, feeling like she was being implicated in some crime- which she was, really, "let's get out of here. I'm on the flagpole at your two o'clock position."

She saw him look towards her and nod subtlety as he hung up. He crossed the street and glanced disinterestedly towards the police before continuing down the road.

Holly powered up her wings and began to follow him.

She was shot down before she got within ten feet of the boy.

* * *

Artemis had been feeling pretty good up until a moment ago.

A passport, driver's license, birth certificate and even a local electric bill were inside the envelope he was holding, each registered to the newly minted identity of Sean Ackart and the first two bearing Artemis' own photo. McConnell and Bernstein really were very quick about what they did, though he doubted the passport would pass under extreme scrutiny. They had even accepted a deposit of five hundred euros with a promise to pay the full fifteen hundred for the job within a week.

But all of those successes were wiped from the boy's mind about one second ago.

Artemis first felt a patter of water drop from the sky. Not like a light rain, but rather big, fat droplets of liquid falling heavily only his head and coat. He turned back to see that the police had been trying to shut down the water flow to the hydrant when their cap had caused the high-pressure stream to arc high up for just a moment, causing splotches of dampness on his expensive suit.

The state of his suit though, became the least of his worries when he saw what was on the ground. The image of Captain Holly Short flickered in and out of view for half a second before the soaked sheets of cam-foil spluttered and shut down. They wouldn't work again until they were completely dried off. What remained on the ground was an all-too-visible elf in a wet high-tech suit and ruined wings. Artemis didn't need to look up to realize that the flagpole was dripping wet.

Of all the things in the world, Holly had been downed by a fire hydrant.

He cursed uncharacteristically and ran towards her.

The captain wasn't actually hurt too badly. Dazed for a moment, yes, but the suit's auto-armor and her helmet's titanium-backed weave saved her from what would have probably otherwise been a fairly bad concussion.

The air was knocked out of her lungs when she hit the ground though, and she didn't immediately get back up. From her position on the floor, she heard something close by her spark and crackle and then saw Artemis running towards her.

She was never a child prodigy, but it didn't take one to figure out what happened.

Several police officers shouted behind her as Artemis kneeled next to her and grabbed her arms, pulling her up.

"Run!" she cried in Gnommish.

But it was already too late.

She saw Artemis shift his gaze from her face to something behind her. Holly slowly turned around and saw the four officers each pointing a handgun in her direction. Two were behind car doors and two were in an open shooting position- legs apart, fingers ready to pull at the first sign of hostility. She noticed for the first time that all of them wore mirrored sunglasses.

One of them yelled something in a language that obviously wasn't Gnommish. Artemis slowly released his grip on Holly and raised his hands, dropping the envelope in the process. Silently cringing at the role reversal, Captain Short hesitantly copied Artemis.

An officer spoke rapidly into his radio and she heard sirens starting up in the distance.

The other three advanced, guns all noticeably aimed at her chest.

"D'Arvit…" Holly cursed under her breath. Her eyes didn't leave the guns, but she quietly muttered to Artemis from the side of her mouth.

"If we don't get through this one, just for the record… I don't hate you."

* * *

**A/N: **To those who were expecting a full-out _Mission Impossible_ or _Oceans 11_ type of thing, I can only say that it wasn't part of the (my) plan. And to quote Holly Short, "we must follow the plan now, mustn't we?"


	13. Crime and Punishment

**Artemis Fowl: The Book of Ages**

Crime and Punishment

* * *

The street was being flooded again but nobody was paying any attention to the water or the loose hydrant. One more police car had arrived with two officers inside but by the sound of the wailing sirens, everyone knew more were coming.

At this point, Holly almost jumped out of her skin when Foaly spoke.

"Heckler and Koch USP," said the centaur from an image on her helmet's heads up display, "nine-millimeter, semi-automatic. The magazine has anywhere from eight to eighteen rounds, but any more than a single hit of those bullets on your auto-armor and you're a dead fairy. You should be very glad right now that you're invisible. Still, I'd suggest putting some distance between you and whoever's holding the H&K."

Holly's eyes widened in comprehension. It was one of Foaly's recorded introductions stored on every helmet computer- short warnings on everything from weapons and security devices to buildings and people. Artemis even had an entry in the system a few years ago, back when he was Public Enemy Number One.

'_Thanks a lot Foaly,'_ thought the elf morosely, eyeing the guns, _'I'm just SO glad I'm invisible, what with your shiny silver suit on the fritz and everything.'_

So she could _possibly_ survive a single shot. But personal experience told her that as soon as somebody fired a gun, it would be a lot more than one shot. She estimated that she might be able to draw her own weapon and stun at least one human before they could respond. But as soon as they did, at least five bullets would find their mark and both she and Artemis would likely gain some unsightly and likely lethal holes in their bodies.

A female officer with a tight blond ponytail yelled something at Holly. The elf wasn't sure what language she was using- only that was utterly incomprehensible. When she had any magic, all human languages were the same to her: easy to understand and easy to speak. That wasn't happening now.

Artemis said something back to her in what she assumed was the same tongue. Holly guessed it was to tell the officer that she couldn't understand. The police seemed to tense up and a male officer yelled something at the boy that sounded harsh.

When Artemis didn't respond, the female said something and gestured towards Holly with her gun.

You know something is seriously wrong when people are gesturing at you with guns and you're at the end with the hole.

From the corner of her eye, she saw Fowl nod once.

"Holly, they want you to take off your helmet…" said Artemis in Gnommish with a shaky voice.

The captain's visor-covered face turned towards him a little, her troubled expression barely visible under the half-mirrored plate.

She swallowed and slowly gripped the sides of her helmet, her thumb brushing against the release. A tiny hiss emitted as it disconnected from the collar of her now-grey Shimmer Suit. Holly gently pulled it off her head and let it drop to the ground with a _thud_.

"Don't move," whispered Artemis.

She didn't. There was no point.

On one hand, Holly didn't blame the humans even as she and Artemis were frisked from behind, then quickly disarmed. Despite being the occasional rogue that she was, Holly was still a police officer. She knew what they were doing and why they were doing it.

But of course, it was all wrong. This world was all wrong. Humans weren't even supposed to know about fairies! Yet here they were.

The Dublin police didn't bother with traditional handcuffs for Holly. They wouldn't have worked anyway- an elf's wrists were far too slender for such things to hold them. Instead, Holly was bound by a pair of plastic cable ties, one on her wrists, the other, just above her elbows. It was a particularly uncomfortable arrangement, squeezing her shoulder blades together and arching her chest forward.

Naturally, she was also blindfolded. A fairy who couldn't see was a fairy who couldn't perform the _mesmer_. Not that Holly could have done so even if she could make eye contact.

By now, everything was just a swirl of motions and nothing about the situation seemed real to her anymore.

* * *

The usual spigot of ideas that kept Artemis Fowl's mind working seemed to have shut down. It was like some renegade group of brain cells had just decided 'we're done for the day, give us a call when there aren't any guns pointed at us eh?'

Just what he did _not_ need at the moment.

If Holly's life had not been in such danger, Artemis' mind might have stopped to be disgusted by how very degrading the whole thing was. He was in handcuffs for crying out loud! Sure, he had been a criminal since he hacked his first website at the age of seven, and held claims to everything from stealing fairy gold to breaking into the vault of the Spiro Needle, but Artemis Fowl arrested? The very thought was preposterous.

He saw McConnell- the man he'd just gotten fake identity papers from- appear in the outer waiting room of his office. The old lawyer took one look at him and the envelope on the floor and his face became a mask of dismay. When he saw Holly, shock became the dominant expression for just a moment before he covered his face with a wrinkled hand. He slipped back inside the building. Artemis could imagine that if the police linked the papers in the envelope to McConnell and Bernstein, then they themselves might also need some new identities.

It wasn't until he was shoved into the back of a police car did the reality of the situation hit him. His hands were still cuffed, and the door had no handle. In front of him, a thick pane of glass separated the back from the front of the car, and to his right, another pane separated him from Holly, who was sitting just barely on the edge of the seat because her tied arms wouldn't let her slide back. The beady, unblinking eye of a video camera watched them both from the front.

They were trapped.

Somewhere in the back of his brain, it occurred to Artemis that the police hadn't even asked him or Holly any questions, though he supposed questions weren't necessary. A fairy aboveground was to be arrested, along with any accomplices. That was probably how procedure went nowadays.

"Any bright ideas?" asked Holly glumly, her voice muffled a bit by the glass and her eyes unreadable under the blindfold.

For once, Artemis Fowl could not answer that question.

* * *

A man dressed in green-brown camouflage fatigues of some human army stepped out from the back of a police cruiser. How exactly such colors were supposed to hide him in an urban area of red brick and grey concrete though, was anyone's guess.

However, this person didn't look like he belonged in the Irish Defence Forces, and in truth, he didn't.

Henri Desmarais was actually a staff sergeant in the French army, on loan to the Defence Forces because of the fairy activity at Tara. But then, despite his name and position, he didn't look like your average Frenchman either. At just over six feet and proudly bearing the swarthy Algerian complexion he inherited from his mother, Henri might have looked like a person who, in another time, in another place, could have trained and worked with Domovoi Butler in some remote African jungle.

But this was neither the time nor the place.

He gave the driver of the car a quick nod before turning back to the cell phone he had pressed against an ear.

"Are you sure it's her?" he asked in an English drawl with a slight Parisian accent.

The man listened for a moment to a voice at the other end. He eyed the scene halfway down the street, watching a human and a fairy slowly standing up after being searched and bound. He focused on the fairy.

"Yes. Short reddish brown hair about down to her neck, tanned skin, fancy silver suit?"

Another pause.

"Alright, I got it. I'll bring them both in then."

He shut the phone and waited until the boy and the elf were inside a police car and that car started up. Opening the back door of the vehicle he came in, he sat back inside.

"Follow them," he ordered the driver curtly.

His car sped after the other, looking for all the world like backup for transporting a renegade magical creature and her accomplice.

* * *

Aside from the occasional dirty look at Artemis and dirtier look at Holly, neither the driver of this police car nor her partner had said anything to their passengers ever since they had started towards the local police department office. The 'emergency' was over, but the officer left the car's lights flashing as they sped down local streets and past closed storefronts and offices.

The city was growing dark very quickly, and with the enforced blackout keeping most lights off, the blinking lights on top and the pale beams in front of the car were the only things keeping the nearby streets lit.

The radio on the cruiser made a few static-filled announcements every now and then, most of which was muffled by the glass. Apparently there had been a foiled robbery attempt on the other side of the city, though Artemis didn't have the luxury to be amused by the irony of that right now, even if he had been able to hear it clearly.

Suddenly, the radio let out a series of terse commands.

"…milita-… transfer… fa-… take… command overridden…"

It was all Artemis could make out.

The driver glanced nervously at her partner, who shrugged and looked at the side mirror towards the car that was following them. They stopped on the side of the street, and the other car did the same.

* * *

"It's alright officer, I'll take care of it," said Henri smoothly as he slipped into the driver's seat that the policewoman had just vacated.

"Is this really necessary?" she asked uncertainly, furrowing her brow.

"Sorry, orders from higher up," he replied, unapologetic. That wasn't _strictly_ true.

He saw her look back at the other police car and wrinkle her nose when she saw that her partner had already taken the front passenger's seat. With an irritated grunt, she started to head towards it.

She paused before passing her own car though.

"Hey," she said to Henri, "I'd like my cruiser back if you don't mind."

The Frenchman gave a slight nod, but didn't speak. Seconds later, he drove off with a human and an elf sitting quietly in the backseat. He'd _try_ to return the car- assuming he got the chance to.

* * *

Artemis eyed the newcomer warily. The military man kept his eyes on the road though, and drove right past the police station. Alarm bells began ringing loudly in the boy's ears. Little alarms had already been set off when the police changed drivers- and when their new escort turned out to not be a police officer at all. But when they started up the ramp to the highway, Artemis felt like Klaxons were blaring between his ears.

"Arty," hissed the captain from next to him, "what's going on?"

He decided to break his silence.

"Sergeant," he asked cautiously, noting the man's rank insignia on his sleeve, "might I ask where we are headed?"

Artemis studied his face carefully through the rearview mirror, trying to discern any expression that might have given him a clue. The edges of the man's lips turned up just a little.

"A little trip…" he replied conversationally.

Then they turned onto the highway. It was now that Artemis Fowl realized that regardless of whatever normal procedure there was in this world for catching fairies, this was most certainly _not_ it.

* * *

It was too dark for any details to be seen outside the windows. The city looked virtually abandoned except for the few other vehicles that passed them every few minutes. Buildings and trees started to blend together into swiftly moving blobs of shadow, punctured only by the faint light of a full moon above them. They got off the highway and the shadows seemed to move a bit more slowly.

Artemis had long given up trying to figure out where they were going. Instead, he was desperately trying to find a way to simply get free. The car's tires crunched on the ground as they turned onto a gravel road, and a bump launched the boy an inch into the air.

A soft swish and bang sound came from the dashboard in the front and Artemis saw a flash of blue falling to the floor. The C Cube and the manila envelope were still in a plastic evidence bag.

'_The C Cube!'_ he thought suddenly.

"Sir…" he said cautiously, silently cringing at his own tone. How long had it been since he had used 'sir,' in a non-condescending way? Probably more than ten years- since that one psychology conference in Atlanta…

'_Focus, now's not the time!'_ he reminded himself.

"Hmm?" responded the driver questioningly.

"If I may offer a proposition," he said, seeing Holly turn her head towards him from the other side of the glass- not that she could understand what he was saying right now. He doubted she would object _that_ much though. "If you let the elf and I go free, I could give you compensation. Does two million US dollars sound good?"

He'd worry about hacking and stealing later.

The driver let out a short laugh, and Artemis frowned.

"_Mon ami_, I am really not the kind to accept bribes," he said with amusement in his voice.

"Compensation," persisted Artemis, "and two million really is quite a bit…"

"It doesn't matter," the sergeant said as the car suddenly slowed to a stop, "we're here already."

* * *

Holly felt the vehicle stop and heard a door open, followed by the sound of someone stepping off the car.

"Artemis," she hissed, wishing she could see him- or anything for that matter, "what's happening? What were you saying to the driver?"

"I was trying to get us free," responded Fowl in a low voice. "but it doesn't sound like it worked. We're in the middle of a wooded area. Wait- hold on…"

A few seconds passed in silence.

"I can see someone coming," he whispered.

Then Holly could hear it too. The driver was still obviously right next to the car, and he was speaking with someone in human language.

"Est-elle la fille?" came the deep voice of the man.

Holly vaguely recognized it as one of the European languages, but groaned internally at her complete lack of understanding.

"Hmm… oui, très bon," replied a high feminine voice.

Another door opened and she heard Artemis gasp in surprise.

"_Don't move, Mud Boy,"_ said the female in another language. English was it?

But Holly wasn't thinking about languages after she heard that. She sat in silent shock, and though nobody could see it, she was sure her face had lost most of its color.

The rich, melodic tones of the _mesmer_ were recognizable in any tongue.

* * *

**A/N: **Who do _you _think it is?


	14. The Underground

**Artemis Fowl: The Book of Ages**

The Underground

* * *

"Who are you?" demanded Holly angrily, "What did you do to Artemis?"

She tried desperately to free her hands so she could at least pull off the blindfold and _see_ the danger, but all she succeeded in doing was chafing her wrists and elbows against the hard plastic cuffs.

"I-" began Artemis, but he was quickly cut off by the female.

"_No talking Mud Boy. Not a word till I say you can."_

Holly heard someone walk lightly on the grass outside, then open the door on her side. She turned her face towards the cool night air and pressed her lips together into a tight line. A fairy would never be stupid enough to try to _mesmerize_ another fairy- not that it was impossible, but because it was very hard to do and considered sacrilege by the Book. But if this fairy didn't care about religious mandates, Holly at least hoped she didn't know that her would-be victim had no magic to defend herself with.

Though she still couldn't see, she felt eyes probing her. Her stomach clenched up and she felt like her throat went dry in a second. It wasn't anything magical, but rather just pure and simple fear.

As a fairy and a police officer, Holly wielded the power of _mesmer_ easily and confidently, using it whenever necessary. But only now, when she was about to be at the receiving end of it, did she realize what a terrifying power it really was.

To lose your blaster was one thing, but to lose your will… that was something else entirely. She'd think twice before using that particular power again- if she ever got the chance to.

Holly was about to make a noise- she wasn't sure what- but it got caught in her throat before she could make it.

Someone in front of her gasped.

"So it was true then…" said the fairy in Gnommish. Somehow, Holly got the distinct feeling that the voice was supposed to be giving a warning of some sort.

A hand tugged at the back of her blindfold, pulling at the large knot of cloth. Holly instinctively pulled away, but the hand persisted.

"Hold still Lieutenant, you aren't helping yourself," rebuked the female testily.

'_Lieutenant?'_ thought Holly, her mind racing in confusion. But her momentary pause gave the other enough time to completely undo the knot and take off the cloth in front of her eyes.

Immediately, Holly saw a pale white light filter through her eyelids, and she was sure someone was pointing a flashlight at her. She opened her eyes slowly and squinted, wanting to hold up an arm to block the light, but not being able to.

"Oh, oops!" exclaimed the person behind the light. The beam quickly swiveled down to the ground and Holly's vision became a mess of dark and light spots- the kind you get right after stepping out from a bright room into the dark night.

"Ugh…" groaned the elf as she tried to clear her head and her vision at the same time. Gradually, she began to be able to make out shapes.

The creature standing in front of her was certainly a humanoid, maybe just a bit taller than Holly had been prior to entering this timeline. The clothes she wore were dark, but then again, they might have only seemed dark because everything else did too. A helmet covered most of her features, though its visor was up. The creature reached and hand up tugged the helmet off, causing the beam of light coming from its side to flail around the inside of the car wildly for a moment before stopping on the ground again.

Holly saw golden locks of hair falling down just past the fairy's shoulders, and realized that it was an elfin face. A face that looked childlike even by fairy standards- with a small rounded nose and a pale, almost pinkish complexion.

And she knew that face.

"Holy Frond!" she exclaimed a tad louder than was really necessary.

She immediately regretted it.

The elf laughed a high, clear laugh and broke out into a grin.

"I'm not sure about holy, but yeah, you got the other part right."

Standing in front of Holly Short, in a matte black LEPRetrival body suit, was the elf she knew as Lili Frond.

Now, Frond was by no means Holly's favorite person in the world. Or even in the LEP. Frankly, as the captain remembered, Lili wasn't much of an officer. She was royalty when royalty didn't really exist anymore, but still held some influence. As a descendent of the first elfin king, this elf tended to get just a _bit_ of 'preference' in job selections within the force.

Instead of the usual traffic duty immediately after graduating from the academy, she was put in Logistics. Why? Well, she spent the next year or so recording updated information for Foaly's database- things like warnings against entering the airspace of any major human city, weather reports, Ritual sites, weaponry information- basically anything Foaly didn't have time or was too lazy read to the computer himself.

In fact, Holly had heard that while she was gone in Hybras the first time, the LEP had made a new recruitment commercial featuring Lili Frond herself. It was supposed to encourage more females to join the LEP, and break a centuries-old tradition of male-dominated units within the force.

It didn't exactly work out: the next set of recruits to join were, interestingly enough, all male.

Odd…

But as a field officer, it was a well-known fact in the LEP that Frond was maybe only slightly more competent than your average drunken gnome. Granted, she wasn't nearly as rude and certainly, her breath smelled much better, but when she had to scrap her first surface mission because her then-long hair (against regulations) was chopped off by her wings upon takeoff, her reputation didn't exactly get any better.

Yet here she was, in a Retrieval suit of all things. At least her hair was short enough now that wings wouldn't damage it.

"Uh… so…" said Holly after a long moment, "am I still under arrest?"

Lili tilted her head a little and seemed to think about it for a moment.

"Well, technically, yes, because I'm not supposed to let you go anywhere you like," she responded, then pointed a finger at Artemis, who still hadn't moved an inch or said a word, "especially him."

"Let Artemis go!" demanded Holly fiercely, more angry with herself than the other elf because she didn't even have enough magic to snap the boy out of his daze.

"Are you sure?" asked Frond seriously, "You… you trust him?"

"Yes, I trust him," said Holly quickly. _'And unless N°1 or Trouble shows up, he's really the only person I can trust at all in this world…'_ she added in her mind. It was a somewhat disturbing thought.

Lili looked at the still-unmoving boy for a moment more before sighing.

"He'd better not pull a gun on me…" she muttered, gripping her own weapon, but not drawing it.

'_Strange,'_ thought Holly, _'since when was Lili this cautious?'_

"_Be freed Mud Boy, your will is your own"_ came the elf's magic-laced voice.

* * *

Artemis Fowl blinked once. And again. He tried turning his head to the right, and this time, it responded. A bit stiff, but at least he could move.

If his pride wasn't a concern, he might have let out a sigh of relief, but he didn't. Instead he rubbed his neck with his cuffed hands and sat up straighter against the back of the seat.

"Well, that was thoroughly unpleasant," he commented, shooting Lili a cool glance. Holly turned towards him and gave him an apologetic look. "I gather you two know each other then?" he continued, "Miss Frond?"

"Wait, you know who she is?" asked Holly in a surprised tone.

Artemis shrugged.

"She gave the narration on most of the LEP's surface database didn't she?"

"Yes, but how did you know?"

The boy smirked.

"If the LEP launches a failed invasion of my house and I capture all of Retrieval One's equipment…" he pointed out casually, leaving the rest out.

But it was enough to cost him.

It took Frond a second to react, but quickly enough, he had a blaster pointed at him through the plastic pane.

"Enemy!" cried the diminutive creature, noticeably tightening her grip on the weapon.

"Calm down!" yelled Holly, leaning forward, unable to use her hands to pull the gun away, "It was a long time ago and it was a… misunderstanding. He's a friend."

It was most certainly not a misunderstanding at the time though.

Lili glared at the boy, trying to figure out what to do. She only seemed to relax a little bit when Henri placed a giant hand on her shoulder.

"Mademoiselle Frond," he whispered, "I do believe we should get going."

She slowly lowered her weapon- much to Artemis' relief- and re-holstered it.

"Cut her loose," she ordered the man, motioning to Holly.

Artemis saw her walk around the car again and come up on his open door. He looked at her suspiciously as she pulled out a tool that looked similar to Holly's old Ominitool, only much older and somewhat bulkier. She stared right back defiantly, even as she jabbed the old device into his metal handcuffs and released them.

The boy slid his pale wrists out of the cuffs and left them on the seat as he flexed his hands and rolled his wrists around.

"May I step out and stretch a bit?" asked Artemis politely, "The car ride was a tad long."

Lili narrowed her eyes at him.

"How do you even know I'm helping you? You could still be my prisoner," she said.

Artemis raised an eyebrow.

"My first hint might have been the fact that I'm alive…" he replied sarcastically, "and if this is all a _mesmer_-induced hallucination, so be it. I still feel stiff."

The elf gave an irritated grunt, but stepped back. Artemis swung his legs out and stood lightly on the grass. Though he wasn't particularly tall, he still towered over Frond- as he did every elf. She didn't look too happy about that.

Holly was standing next to him after a few moments, with the Frenchman just a bit behind her, watching each of them carefully.

Artemis saw Lili's jaw drop open a bit when she saw Holly.

"Whoa… say… since when were you this… tall?" she asked slowly.

"It's a long story," responded Holly, "but aren't _you_ supposed to tell me what's going on first?" asked Holly.

The other elf shook her head, her expression still one of bewilderment.

"Not here Lieutenant," she gestured into the darkness of the forest, "you two need to get to a safer spot."

"Lieutenant?" asked Holly finally, furrowing her brow.

Lili looked confused for a moment, but then her eyes widened in comprehension.

"Oh, right! I forgot. Captain is it? Well, your rank is lieutenant colonel now," she smiled and added, "and I'm captain."

* * *

How did it come to this that the clumsy, rather inept _Captain _Frond ended up saving Artemis and Holly from a rather inconvenient trip to prison? Neither elf nor human could have known. Artemis, because he didn't really know Lili Frond, and Holly, because she did.

The two of them, accompanied by Lili and Henri, walked at a brisk pace through the dark forest, their path illuminated only by the light on Frond's helmet. Lili was leading, followed by Holly and Artemis, with Henri bringing up the rear. Artemis sped up a little to walk next to Holly.

"I don't like this," he whispered from the corner of his mouth, "they were expecting us. And it doesn't matter whether we get human or fairy aid," he pointedly glanced at the two in frond and behind them, "one of them is bound to turn on us."

Holly nodded just enough for him to see it.

"But what can we do?" she asked, not really meaning it as a question.

Artemis let out a brief sigh.

"This is what happens when I can't make a plan…" he mumbled angrily, almost to himself.

Gradually, the forest gave way to a rockier setting, and loamy soil and grass soon became hard gravel. A rock outcrop loomed ahead of them, its color and form mostly swallowed by the night.

"Over there," Lili pointed towards the wall of rock, seemingly at a rather unremarkable bit of the cliff face.

But when they got closer, it became apparent that it wasn't just rock.

"Wow… that's pretty sad for a 'safe spot'," said Holly under her breath as Henri and Lili pulled a large grey tarp back from where it was hanging on the rock.

It wasn't Foaly's cham pod material, or even a piece of cam-foil. It wasn't even electronic. It was just an old sheet of plastic hastily painted with grey and brown patterns to match its surroundings.

"That's fairly crude… even by human standards," commented Artemis doubtfully.

"No one ever comes around to this area anymore though, so if it works, it works," responded Lili defensively, "though I think a nice sheet of cam-foil would have looked _so_ much better. We're in Wicklow, by the way," she added proudly, "I recorded the mining history of this place into the database nearly two decades ago- my first big project in Europe."

"This is a mine then?" asked Artemis.

Lili nodded just a bit too eagerly- like she was so glad she had the chance to show that she knew something important.

"About a hundred years ago, it was a human gold mine, but almost eight hundred years ago, dwarves mined most of this place out already."

"So why an abandoned gold mine?" asked Holly, peering warily into the darkness.

The four stepped inside, and Henri let the tarp fall back into place. Lili's strobe light swept from side to side in the long tunnel, and neither Holly nor Artemis could see an end to it.

"I was ordered to take _you_, Holly, to Haven," said Lili. Then she turned to Artemis, her light hitting the spot just above his head, "and _you_, Mud Boy, have the honor of joining us."

Artemis suppressed a grin. Obviously she didn't know that he had been to Haven before. Still, it would be interesting to see the city proper- since each time he had been there, he had been either asleep or inside one building or another.

"Well I hope we're not walking there," commented Holly dryly.

* * *

They didn't walk to Haven City. Artemis Fowl would have likely collapsed less than halfway there, since a sloping tunnel route to the fairy city directly from the surface would been about fifty miles long. Unless, of course, they wanted to fall straight down or take a slide. That wouldn't have been a very good way to get there either though, because if they did slide, no one's pants would have made it the whole way with its bottom intact. And if they fell… well, more than a pair of pants would have been destroyed once they landed- things like body parts would be likely victims.

Instead, they walked in the darkness for quite some time, with Lili assuring them every few minutes that they weren't walking the whole way. Artemis tried asking both of their companions questions, but quickly gave up when neither responded.

The number of forks and turns in the cavern made it obvious soon enough that the LEP officer was following a map on her helmet screen.

When Holly asked about this, Lili shrugged and pointed at her visor.

"The computer marked the path with a line in my heads up display."

Holly remembered when she'd used that particular system to navigate the Spiro Tower and smiled.

"I believe," she whispered to Artemis, just low enough so the other elf couldn't hear her, "that Foaly's exact words about that were 'idiot proof.'"

The boy's amused expression was just barely visible by the light reflected off the walls.

They kept walking.

Several minutes and two annoyed questions of 'are we there yet?' later, an old mining cart on sloping tracks finally came into view. The tracks seemed to slope gently for a few feet, but then quickly dropped down at an absurdly steep angle.

"You have _got _to be kidding me…" muttered Artemis, staring at the rickety wooden cart.

Apparently, Lili didn't hear him though, because she got in without pausing. When she turned around, neither Holly nor Artemis had made a move to get any closer.

"Come on," she urged impatiently, "we don't have all night you know."

Artemis reluctantly got in after Holly, and sat stiffly sat against the side of the cart. It was not a particularly large vehicle, and with the brake lever between the three of them, Holly was actually pressed up between an elf on one side and a much larger human on the other. It was clear that there was no space left for a yet larger human.

Henri then, obviously did not try to fit in the cart. Instead, he reached and hand into a large front pocket on his pants and pulled out a flashlight and what looked like a cardboard box the size of a small book.

He handed the box to Lili, who looked at it with a wrinkled nose.

"Oh don't be like that, mademoiselle," he scolded in English with a small grin on his face, "just tell him it's a present from me. You know he'll be in a better mood once he gets them anyway."

"I guess…" muttered Lili, shoving the box into her own pocket.

"I should go back quickly," Henri said, flicking his flashlight on and pointing it back the way they came, "Mademoiselle Short, Monsieur Fowl," he nodded to each of them in turn and then snapped off a crisp military salute to Lili, "_au revoir… et bonne chance._"

Without another word, the man walked quickly back into the darkness, disappearing completely within seconds as he turned a corner.

"What was that all about?" asked Artemis.

"Fungus cigars," Lili answered with a grimace, "Don't worry, I'll explain when we get there." Then she pulled the brake lever.

Holly's brain made the connection just a second too late, and by the time she opened her mouth, the cart's rapid acceleration had already pressed her against Artemis and forced the words back down her throat.

As for Fowl, it took quite a bit of his willpower for him to stop himself from screaming like a little girl.

* * *

**A/N:** So... nobody guessed correctly (not that I expected anyone to), and, as Inazuma Kanji bet me a hundred dollars that it was Opal, he/she now owes me that much (US dollars will be fine, thanks).

Anyway, on a more serious note, I know I left a lot of things unexplained here, but rest assured, I _will _get to everything (or almost everything) eventually.


	15. Commander

**Artemis Fowl: The Book of Ages**

Commander

**

* * *

**There was a whole host of things of things that Artemis Fowl did not like in this world. There were, of course, first the things that basically any decent and civilized person would have at least claimed to dislike- whalers, assassins, homicidal megalomaniacs and such. Added to that were things that tended not to make other people's list of things to avoid, such as dwarf gas, radiation gel and being punched by certain hotheaded elves.

But Fowl in particular disliked at least two things in his life that many others actually enjoyed- especially children. The two were lollipops and roller coasters.

Though if forced to choose between them, he'd gladly suffer through a lollipop than a roller coaster.

He was, at the moment, technically not on a roller coaster. After all, what kind of roller coaster was made of rusty metal and ancient hardwood, mounted on century-old steel tracks, and apparently only went down? None that Artemis knew of at least.

Yet it was this exact fear that dominated his mind as he and the two elves hurtled into the black abyss within the mine. Sure, he knew the scientific reason for why he felt like he was about to float right up past the cart and be left behind, smattered on a tunnel wall. He also knew why wave after wave of nausea overcame him, and frankly, if given all the weights and lengths, he could also calculate in his head how long the torture would last- down a tenth of a second.

None of this helped him at all.

Cold, stale tunnel air suddenly seemed much more vibrant when it was rushing past Artemis' ears at what he imagined to be some clearly unsafe speed. The pounding of the wheels on the tracks reverberated through his bones and into his skull, making him feel like the slight aches he still had (from his close encounter with being turned into an ice pop) rage with a dull and throbbing pain in every joint.

There was also something pressed against his side, though as the lights were all out except for Lili's one helmet light which wasn't pointed in his direction, he couldn't see what it was. But judging from the direction of the helmet light- the side opposite him- he figured out what was being pushed against him quickly enough.

It was rather painful pushing on his shoulder too.

He slowly shifted his body around so that the elf was leaning on his chest as opposed to his shoulder.

A light whizzed by to the boy's right, and he automatically snapped his head back to watch as it disappeared further up the tunnel. Seconds later, another light rushed past them. Within moments though, he could see a section of brightness coming up- a flickering florescent beam like a light at the end of a long tunnel.

Artemis unconsciously breathed a sigh of relief as he felt the cart level off and slow down.

He truly hated roller coasters.

* * *

Holly wasn't really sure what the place they ended up in was _supposed_ to look like. It was clear though, what it was.

A shuttle parked on a runway not twenty feet from where the mining cart had stopped sort of gave that much away.

But the captain's cursory examination of the odd underground structure was interrupted quite abruptly by a coughing sound off to one side. When she turned her head, she saw Lili Frond, standing next to the cart with both eyebrows arched high in an expression that was part amazement, part amusement, and part horror.

"What?" asked Holly automatically.

But instead of Frond responding, someone else did.

"Uh, Holly, I know it's probably terribly comfortable, but would you mind getting off me?"

The elf blinked… and then realized she had been in a reclining position… on something that was clearly not rickety and made of metal.

Blood rushed into her cheeks in under a second and she bolted upright not a moment later.

She jumped out of the cart rather quickly, pointedly not looking back once at the boy who was still slowly pulling himself up.

Instead, she let her eyes wander over the simple, seemingly run-down shuttleport they were in, observing in what details the low fluorescent lighting let her. The building seemed to be quite the place of contrasts. The rails on the runway looked new and well-oiled, and though the floor was dusty, it didn't have the scruff marks many of the older shuttleports tended to get from heavy fairy traffic. The shuttle in itself wasn't particularly remarkable, but it certainly looked much older than the rest of the port. It looked futuristic- with green rubber bumpers and scratched chrome accents on its worn white hull- but that just told Holly how old it was: Foaly's futuristic designs came from several decades ago, his more modern shuttles had a much more classic look to them.

"An abandoned shuttleport under an abandoned gold mine eh?" came Artemis' voice from behind her.

"You didn't think we were going to ride that old thing all the way down to Haven did you?" asked Frond. "Besides, if you Mud Men hadn't taken over Tara, we could have avoided this whole thing and just went there."

"Not exactly my fault, but at this point you have a bit of explaining to do, don't you think Captain?" responded the boy.

Both elves turned towards him.

"Er, Captain Frond, I mean," he amended.

"For once, I agree with him," added Holly.

Artemis raised an eyebrow. "_Once_, Holly?"

Lili coughed and shook her head in disbelief. "Really, Holly, they told me you were different, but I didn't actually have believed them until now."

Holly gave her a confused look.

"Anyway," she continued, "I'm not supposed to say anything up here, so get in!"

She pressed a hand against a clear plastic pad on the side of the shuttle, and the door popped open, sweeping upwards to reveal the worn interior.

Artemis seemed to pale a little, but with a quick look back the long upward path they came from, and another towards the shuttle, he gave a resigned sigh and stepped forward.

"Not like we have much of a choice," he grumbled.

Holly didn't move though.

"Lili, at least answer me this," she said slowly, "who were those cigars for?"

Frond looked at her quizzically.

"I don't know what world you're from," she replied, "but there's only one person in the LEP who could possibly tolerate having one of those between his lips."

Holly unconsciously sucked in a breath of air and saw Artemis give her a meaningful glance.

"Now, are you going or not?" asked Lili.

The elf stared at her for a moment longer before taking a hesitant step towards the shuttle door. Artemis was already strapped in- rather tightly, she noted- by the time she sat down on the adjacent seat.

"This should be interesting…" muttered the boy, not taking his eyes off the elf's conflicted expression.

That was just a _slight_ understatement.

* * *

Holly didn't notice her companion's clenched teeth or white knuckles during the descent to Haven. Truthfully, the movement of the shuttle barely registered in her mind at all- and it wasn't because she was used to it. It was only when the side windows depolarized and cleared up to show their arrival that it registered to the elf that they were back in Haven.

She saw Lili step out of the cockpit and immediately unbuckled herself. But when she reached to open the door, she saw that there was no handle. Naturally, they were in an LEP police shuttle- commonly used to transport criminals- which obviously had no way for people in the backseat to open the doors themselves. It was something Holly would have noticed much sooner had she been in a normal state of mind.

She looked back out the window and saw Frond just a few feet away. But then she saw something else and immediately flinched and looked away.

It was a dead man walking.

Or, more precisely, it was a dead fairy yelling at a blond one- probably for being late.

From the corner of her eye, she saw Artemis look towards the window and then back at her with only concern in his expression, no surprise at all.

"Are you alright?" he asked quietly.

Holly took a shuddering breath and gave him a sideways look.

"My… dead commander… is outside that door and we're about to go out there… yeah, I'm just peachy," she said sarcastically. But there wasn't any sting in the sarcasm, only a tumult of confused emotions.

* * *

Artemis couldn't understand it. Nor did he know how to feel. Nor did he know why Holly was acting the way she was. It wasn't because he was surprised- he had half-expected this meeting as soon as he found out they were in LEP custody. No, it was because despite his psychology degree and the many papers he had published in the field, he had never come across a situation like this.

After all, no psychological study had ever been done on the effects of seeing dead people very much alive after several years.

Given enough time to think about it, Artemis might have been able to develop his own feelings on the matter and understand Holly's, but he wasn't exactly known for being the most empathetic person in the world.

He tried to help Holly anyway- as a friend rather than a psychologist. Albeit, a friend who happened to be a qualified psychologist.

"Want to talk about it?" he asked.

Textbook response, of course, but Artemis really didn't know what else he could say.

Holly opened her mouth to talk, but then the door on her side clicked open.

"Too late for that," she said.

* * *

"Captain Short, Master Fowl," greeted Commander Julius Root stiffly, as the door opened up all the way, "good to see you've arrived in one piece."

He looked to be in a much better mood than he had been just moments earlier. It was probably the fungus cigar he had just pulled from his lips. He looked older than Holly remembered- older than he would have been even with the years she had missed. He still wore a neatly pressed uniform with a battered commander's lapel pinned proudly on his chest though. Just like old times.

Holly's mouth seemed stuck in a rather undignified slightly-open position as she stared at the Commander. She felt Artemis nudge her from behind when she didn't say anything for about a second.

"Uh, yeah, good to see you too Commander," she stammered. Holly immediately kicked herself mentally. What kind of greeting was that? It must have been Fowl, she decided. Spending so much time with him must have degraded her social skills.

"Sorry about the reception," said Julius, nodding his head towards the area next to the shuttle runway, which Holly recognized as a repair facility for Haven's sewage-cleaning pods, "the usual shuttleports are a bit inaccessible at the moment."

Holly thought she probably knew what that meant.

"Commander," said Artemis, "as you obviously know who were are and probably even where we're from, would you care to explain how? Or, if I may ask a bit more brashly- what in the world is going on?"

Root chuckled and looked towards Lili, who had been off to the side.

"I like this guy, a straight talker. You don't get too many of these around nowadays."

Holly found herself gaping again. Artemis Fowl, a 'straight talker?' Julius Root… like… Artemis Fowl…? She didn't know it was possible to put those words together into coherent sentences. There must have been some grammatical rule against it, if not a law of nature.

"I'm going to answer that question Fowl," said the Commander, "because right now, we need all the help we can get. And while I'm at it, maybe Captain Short can tell me how she ever got taller than me."

* * *

It was a time for explanations.

The three fairies and the human were sitting on low plastic chairs in the office of a warehouse that had once held parts for the pod repair facility right beneath it. Well, the fairies were sitting in chairs anyway. Artemis opted for a crate, preferring to actually be able to sit down properly as opposed to being squeezed into a fairy-sized chair. He had summarized how he and Holly had gotten from Temple Bar to the point where they were captured while they were walking to the office.

Naturally, he left out a few details. Him being frozen, for one. And him being unfrozen, for another.

"Trouble Kelp and N°1 aren't here then?" began Artemis as soon as they sat down.

"How did you know they were here at all?" asked Lili.

Holly caught on quickly. "Otherwise you couldn't have known about us," she replied, to which Artemis nodded.

"Oh…" said Lili slowly.

"Right," Root grimaced, "as a matter of fact, they _were _here- the imp and _your_ Trouble Kelp."

Neither Artemis nor Holly spoke, both waiting for him to continue.

"My squad was on patrol on the edge of the human-occupied part of Haven nearly four months ago when we found those two sneaking around in one of the abandoned houses. Nearly gave me a heart attack."

Root took a deep breath and looked at Holly and Artemis with a dead serious expression.

"What you have to understand is that demons… demons… are extinct. No one survived the Hybras landing, if you can call it a landing at all."

"D'Arvit…" cursed Holly quietly, even as she tried to swallow the lump that was quickly forming in her throat.

Even Artemis turned to look down with his eyes closed and his face in a pained expression.

"And… Major Kelp… of this world…" continued Root sadly, "he was killed in the initial siege on Haven years ago."

A long silence passed before the Commander began again with a sigh.

"So when we found them, I thought Trouble was an imposter, and I wasn't really sure what to think of the imp. We brought them here, and they tried to explain that they were uh… from another time," he said with incredulity in his tone.

"No one really believed them until we checked their recent memories. That proved they were telling the truth, and well, it was hard to deny that there was a living demon warlock in front of us. They told us everything… the paradox, Koboi…" Root looked pointedly at Artemis, "… you."

The old commander shook his head.

"I still can't believe I'd ever just retire and play mini-golf all day in Atlantis."

Holly and Artemis exchanged a heavy look. Obviously, Trouble and N°1 hadn't told them the truth about _everything_. It was a good thing they only bothered to check recent memories then.

"Anyway," continued Root, not noticing the looks of the two in front of him, "the imp was telling us about what they were trying to do, but because they had to wait until you two got here, they decided to help us with missions in the meanwhile. I'm sure you two know by now that Haven's a giant mess. Humans control about half of it and we've been fighting along the Oak Avenue boarder for months now. Most of the population evacuated to Atlantis a long time ago. Three weeks ago, they were on a mission to help us get supplies from the Humanes in Belgium when they were caught on the surface by human military forces. As far as we know, they're being held in an aboveground prison."

"Humanes? Don't you mean humans?" asked Artemis, "Are they fairy sympathizers?"

Root gave him a thin smile.

"I mean Humanes. You're right though, they're humans who are helping us for one reason or another. Henri Desmarais is one of our most valuable supporters, being in the army and all. The Humanes is just our name for them- all the other humans just call them traitors, and well, we call the others Mud Men in return. They're actually not _mesmerized_, in case you were wondering. They help us of their own free will, hence the name."

"The warlock figured out how long it would take you two to arrive and told us before he got captured, and we've had people looking out for you two in both Ireland and Hawaii for the last few days. And here we are." He paused and gave them both a sympathetic look. "I'm very sorry about your friends."

Root's audience took a few more moments to soak in his story. When Holly looked over to Artemis, she saw that he was already deep in thought- coming up with a plan, she hoped.

"What happened to the LEP?" she asked, gesturing around them, "Nobody's around…"

"Oh, they're around," responded the commander, "some of them anyway. Those who aren't on patrol or getting supplies are usually eating or sleeping. In case you haven't noticed, it's still the middle of the night, so most of them are probably sleeping in the apartment complex we took over just a few blocks away."

He looked at Holly with a strange expression.

"If I remember right, that's where your apartment building is Holly."

The captain froze. That was something she had forgotten: herself.

"Oh joy…" said Artemis, "two Hollys. Imagine the bruises I'll get from that."

It took a few seconds before the others realized he was trying to make a joke.

Root and Frond only stared at him more though after they'd realized this.

"I still don't believe it," muttered Lili, to which Root only shook his head.

"What?" asked Holly, "Is this about me?"

"Well, yeah…" said Julius slowly before gulping and looking Holly straight in the eye. She had never seen the commander look so… nervous before.

"Holly… you disappeared while on a recon flight over Dublin nearly half a year ago. We still have you listed as MIA."

"Oh…" responded the captain sullenly.

"But that's not what we're surprised about," said Lili, making the elf turn towards her. "When you were around, you absolutely _hated_ humans." The commander shot her a disapproving look, but she didn't seem to see it. "You could barely stand the Humanes and was always the first to stun and ask questions later."

Holly could guess at why she would have despised humans in this world. Before she got to know Artemis Fowl as a friend, she didn't exactly like humans to begin with. For decades she blamed them for the death of her mother and didn't think there could be such thing as a good human. That was only further supported when she was captured by none other than Artemis himself.

She glanced towards the boy and looked over his worried features and the furrows in his brow that made him look far older than he really was. Despite the lie he had told her to force her into helping his mother, she still thought that just maybe, she'd found a good human in Artemis Fowl. Or so she hoped.

Holly was snapped back to reality though, when Lili began talking again with an amused tone.

"Of course, then I find you traveling along with a Mud Boy and practically _lounging _on him on our way down here," she finished with a smirk.

Root gaped. Artemis turned slightly pink. Holly… well, Holly wanted to punch the idiot Frond in the jaw nice and hard. Instead, she just felt her ears burning.

"It was an accident!" she hissed. Still, she was _very_ glad they didn't know about what happened immediately after she and Fowl arrived in Temple Bar. "And _this_ human," she added, jerking a thumb at Artemis, "annoys the hell out of me half the time!"

Artemis frowned, but Lili only smiled wider.

"Yeah, but you seemed awfully defensive of him when I first talked to him."

It took a very fast reaction from Artemis to hold Holly back from slamming her fist into the unsuspecting elf. She had no idea he could react that fast.

"Not a good idea, Captain," he said quietly, only to have Lili's muffled giggles respond. "You too, Miss Frond. I wasn't kidding about those bruises," he added.

Holly took a second to calm herself as Frond's laughter subsided. She turned back to a head-shaking Commander Root.

"Commander, if you know what Trouble and N°1 came for, then you know we have to get back to that."

Root gave Lili a harsh look which shut her up before he nodded to Holly.

"Yes, but I also know you're completely out of magic. I was thinking that you'd like to complete the Ritual before we move any further. Tonight's a full moon, so we still have time if we hurry."

"I thought all the Ritual sites in Western Europe were being guarded?" asked Artemis.

"All the ones _you're_ thinking of, yes," Root smiled, "but there's more than one way to complete the Ritual."


	16. Like Magic

**A/N:** Disclaimer: portions of the Book quoted here were written by Eoin Colfer and not me (unlike the other Book quotes in this story). Also, if you don't know what a compact fluorescent light bulb looks like, please look it up. Trust me, it'll help.

* * *

**Artemis Fowl: The Book of Ages**

Like Magic

* * *

Haven City was not like any major human metropolis. Except maybe Tokyo- overcrowding had always been an issue. But that was just about where the similarities ended.

The thing is- human cities expand in two directions. First they take over the surrounding land, growing laterally. Then they expand upwards, with towers, skybridges, multi-level highways and such. Haven, on the other hand, grew in _every_ possible direction. Being underground helped when things were being built besides, above and below existing infrastructure. So while surface cities eventually became rounded blots of concrete on land, Haven was actually more like a sphere. A very high-tech and somewhat under-maintained sphere.

That was the advantage of being the first city originally built underground, as opposed to being moved underground like the earlier fairy cities were.

Atlantis, Ys, and even Shambhala (or, as humans more commonly called it, Shangri-la), ate up their municipal funds back in the old days when they had to be moved below the Earth to hide them from the barbaric and overly violent Mud Men. As such, they didn't have much money left in the city development pool until the Middle Ages came around.

Suffice to say, even with magic on your side, transporting whole cities anywhere- much less underground- was not a cheap endeavor.

It was rather ironic then, that as the newest and supposedly most secure of the People's great municipalities, Haven was the first to be invaded. And the Mud Men didn't even know where half the other cities were before they stormed Haven.

However, despite all that Haven was, with its winding streets, artificial sky, and grand buildings, it was most certainly not home to a Ritual site.

Was it?

* * *

Haven did not look quite as impressive as Artemis had originally imagined it to be.

That was probably because it was the middle of the night and the artificial sky had darkened hours before, leaving everything in shadow except for the few emergency lights that still lit some street corners in a dull orange color. Except for the fact that the streets seemed extraordinarily clean and were all outfitted with magnetic rails, a brief look wouldn't show anything too different from the streets of any major human city.

Still, the buildings were quite a marvel. Most were hewed directly out of solid bedrock, and designed with a natural roundness to them that was added to with the presence of modern-looking reflective windows and doors. Artemis thought that if the false sunlight was activated, he'd be treated to quite a sight. But then again, if it was 'daylight' in Haven, he could hardly be on the streets.

As it was, he was hardly taking a casual stroll in the city.

He was, instead, crammed into the back of an electrical utilities van with Commander Root at the wheel, Lili Frond also riding up front, and a still slightly dazed Holly Short next to him. He didn't blame her for her demeanor though- it's not every day you carried on a regular conversation with a person who was supposed to be dead.

"So, what happens after we get Holly's magic back Commander?" asked Lili, giving Root a sideways look as he cautiously navigated the mag-lines on the streets- with the headlights off, no less.

Root grunted as the vehicle suddenly turned along a warped section of the magnetic trail, jerking its passengers briefly.

"That depends on them…" he muttered, eyes not leaving the road.

Holly gave Artemis a long look.

"I say we go after Trouble and N°1," she said finally.

The boy nodded.

"I already thought about that, and their help really would be very useful if we are to find Mu."

"Not to mention they're our friends and we can't just abandon them," interjected the elf.

"Yes," continued Artemis, "But of course there is the _minor_ issue of breaking them out of a prison…"

There was silence in the van for a few seconds as its occupants mulled over their options.

"Hm… actually, I know where your friends are being held," admitted Root, "but I'm guessing it'd take a full Retrieval squad to breach it, and we can't afford to lend you that kind of fairy-power right now."

Holly's lips tucked into a small smile.

"You know," she said, speaking to Artemis, "that's almost exactly what they told me about the Spiro Needle."

The young Fowl raised a thin eyebrow.

"Spiro was hardly prepared for fairies though…" he mused, wiping a hand across his mouth in thought. "Still, it certainly can't hurt to take a look at what we can possibly do."

Root shrugged, watching the two in the back through the rearview mirror.

"I don't know what good it'll do, but I can show you what we know about the prison tomorrow morning."

Seconds went by again with no one speaking, and Artemis back to wondering how Holly was supposed to complete the Ritual.

Suddenly, Lili spoke up in a questioning tone.

"Who's Spiro?"

* * *

By the time Artemis finished giving a hastily summarized version of their deeds and misdeeds in Chicago (with frequent interjections from Holly), they had already neared the edge of the city.

"You know what, Commander?" asked Lili a high and excited voice. "We should totally go do that," she continued without waiting for Root to respond.

"Do what?" asked the old elf.

"Oh, you know, just get a squad of our guys and take Police Plaza back, just like how they stole the C Cube from that Needle place!"

War may have forced the LEP's blonde bimbo to mature and learn to shoot straight- but even rapid maturity had its limits…

"Let's not…" replied Root evenly; apparently already used to Frond's sporadic relapses back into idiocy.

"Oh come on Julius, if Holly and Arty can do something like that, why can't we?"

Lili didn't know it, but that particular question provoked several interesting reactions.

A vein pulsed in Commander Root's forehead.

At the same time, Artemis was having some seething thoughts.

'_Do not call me Arty… only Mother is allowed to call me Arty…'_

That wasn't actually true, and Artemis knew it. The only other person allowed to call him Arty was sitting right next to him, though _why_ he let her do it was quite the mystery to him. Either that, or it was something he wasn't admitting.

But before he was allowed to give it any further thought, the Commander spoke up.

"One, call me Julius again and I'm putting you on sewer patrols," Root said lowly, "and two, we are not going to do something as stupid as attacking the center of the Mud Man controlled area of Haven! Got it?"

Frond's pointed ears turned down and little and she nodded with a small whiny noise.

Root turned the van onto a side street with what looked like a large metal shipping container at the end of it. He didn't stop until they were inside.

"Now, we're going down. Fowl, you'll be pleased to know you're the first human to see any of this, but I warn you- if stuff about _any_ of this gets aboveground, I _won't_ hesitate to blast you."

"I won't say anything," muttered Artemis, his curiosity overwhelming any fear he might have had at the elf's words. "Does that mean you'll tell us how Holly is getting her magic back now?"

"No," replied the old Commander.

Root rolled down his window and punched a thumb into a gel scanner built into the wall, and an overhead emergency light turned from dull orange to a ghostly green. The floor began to drop downwards.

Artemis seemed to be the only one surprised by this.

"Which elevator is this?" asked Holly as they continued to drop.

"The power plant," responded Root with a small smile.

* * *

Running Haven's magnetic streets required quite a bit of energy. Then, of course, there were the factories, homes, schools, movie theaters, amusement parks and all manner of other electricity-based things that needed a power source.

In the late 1800's some very smart fairies figured out how to use fusion as a source of energy without the reaction chambers exploding in their faces. Haven was now home to three of these reactors, in addition to nuclear batteries which powered practically everything a modern fairy could want.

Before the People's Nuclear Age though, geothermal was the way to go. After all, when one is several miles below the surface of the Earth, heat was plentiful and could easily be used for something other than getting hot showers.

"'Sub-Haven Geothermal Power Plant,'" read Artemis Fowl as he stood next to a sign outside the gates of a pair of tall, thin, cylindrical towers lit by harsh white spotlights.

"The last working steam plant in the whole city," explained Commander Root as he opened the gates and led the others in.

"How's this supposed to help?" asked Holly, furrowing her brow and squinting up at the towers.

"I sure hope you don't plan on charging Captain Short up with electricity…" commented Fowl, causing Holly to give him a disapproving look.

"Don't worry about it," said Lili, "the Commander's going to tell you all about it once we're inside."

She slowed her pace until she matched Holly's and in a whisper she added, "Don't ruin his fun, he loves it. It's one of the few times he gets to feel smarter than everyone else."

Luckily for the blond captain, Root didn't quite hear her.

They passed through the main door and by deserted hallways and rooms. Artemis noted the peeling paint on the walls and the rusted metal placards on some of the office doors. The place looked positively ancient. He could only imagine when it was built.

'_Just how long have the People had this kind of steam power?' _he wondered in amazement.

The four reached the end of a dark hall and stopped in front of a set of steel double doors.

"The whole place basically runs itself, so techies only come by every decade or so to check the machinery. Other than that, no one ever comes here anymore," explained Julius.

He suddenly paused- probably for dramatic effect.

"Until the last few years…"

He threw open the doors.

Artemis finally saw what the two towers housed. Before them was a room about the size of a two airplane hangers with bulbous overhead lights that flickered to life as they entered. Dominating the center of the space was a round coiled structure that extended far above them and deep beneath the floor they stood on.

It reminded Artemis vaguely of a compact fluorescent light bulb after a massive dose of growth hormones.

Invisible streams of steam thrummed up the clear coils of the contraption past where either boy or fairy could see, and water flowed back in a straight tube running down the middle of the cyclone of trapped gas.

"I remember this place," said Holly suddenly, "I took a field trip here in high school."

She didn't mention the fact that she'd nearly fallen asleep standing up as the tour guide dwarf explained the workings and history of the place.

Artemis and Holly stared up and down the tubing, their eyes quickly tracing the path of the steam. Then the boy abruptly let out a short chuckle.

"Twisted water… very clever Commander," he said in amusement.

Holly continued staring though.

"_From the earth thine power flows,_" she began to recite quietly, "_Given through courtesy, so thanks are owed… Pluck thou the magic seed, where full moon, ancient oak, and twisted water meet… And bury it far from where it was found, so return your gift into the ground._"

She cast a doubtful look at Root.

"Two out of three… it still won't work."

The old commander simply grinned and walked towards a small closet.

Holly's eyes widened in disbelief.

"Don't tell me you keep an oak in here!" she cried.

Root unlocked the closet with a long numeric code on its electronic padlock. A bright light seeped through as he swung the door open, and he turned back to Holly, still covering the entrance with his body.

"As a matter of fact…" he said with a triumphant smile.

"An ancient bonsai oak, of course," said Artemis simply, figuring it out immediately, "fully grown and surely over two hundred years old, yet trimmed and constricted to grow within the confines of a common pot."

Root's expression froze- and then turned red.

"Oh come on! You did _not_ have to ruin my big reveal like that!"

Artemis only smirked.

"Sorry Commander," he said, completely unapologetic.

The old elf let out a frustrated grunt before finally stepping aside, showing- indeed- a tiny oak in a ceramic pot under what looked more or less like a water faucet and a desk light.

Holly's jaw dropped about two inches. But two inches was a lot considering her head wasn't that big to begin with.

"Fake sunlight, automatic watering device and you have a three hundred year old little oak tree, courtesy of Captain Frond's aunt," explained Root.

Lili flashed Holly a toothy grin.

"We were kind of desperate for magic a while back and I brilliantly came up with this brilliant idea," said Frond, ever the humble public servant.

"More like her thick-headed interpretation of the Book worked by some crazy stroke of luck…" muttered Root. He waved Holly forward, "Come on Holly, your magic- your acorn," he said, pointing at several acorns resting on the soil under the tree.

Holly only took a step forward before she stopped.

"I… I can't," she stammered, "There are so few, and the whole force needs magic for the war…"

"Auntie May's a gardener Holly, we have plenty of bonsais around," assured Lili.

Holly at once seemed relieved, and plucked an acorn up and pocketed it.

"Er, thanks…" she said sheepishly to the Commander and Frond.

"Thank me when you can speak Mud Man again," said Root.

* * *

Minutes later, they were on their way back to the LEP's temporary headquarters.

"Excuse me if I sound a bit indelicate," said Artemis, "but where shall I be staying for the time being?"

No one replied for a few seconds.

"D'Arvit…" muttered Root finally, "I knew I forgot something."

"It probably wouldn't be a good idea for Artemis to be seen by too many people," said Holly, fighting back a yawn.

"Well I can't very well leave you in the warehouse, since we use that place a lot during the day," mused the Commander.

The van fell into silence again as each person tried to think of a suitable place.

"Hey," exclaimed Lili suddenly, "I just thought of it. There's a perfect place!"

* * *

"I cannot… believe this…" muttered Holly as the van stopped outside a red-brown apartment building.

"Oh come off it Holly, didn't you say you've been to his house before too?" asked Lili amusedly.

"Yeah, but-"

"But what?" Frond cut in, "Isn't it about time you returned the favor?"

"He has a mansion, and I live in a two-room studio for crying out loud!" exclaimed Holly.

"That's enough room, isn't it?" Frond asked innocently.

Holly only glared at her and pointedly refused to look at Artemis, who was staring rather awkwardly between the two elves.

"Sorry to put you into this situation Holly, but I think this really is the best way to do it," said Root in an apologetic tone, "If you're _really _uncomfortable with it, I guess I could house him."

Holly huffed crossly, but then finally opened the van door.

"Forget it, I'll do it," she said, stepping out onto the sidewalk "You'd better not mess up my apartment, Artemis."

"Wouldn't dream of it Holly," replied the boy, following her, "I'll be on my best behavior."

As they disappeared into the building, Root started the van up again.

"Interesting pair, don't you think, Commander?" asked Frond.

"They're crazy," replied Root, not taking his eyes off the road, "the whole lot of them- Trouble and the imp included."

But there was just a bit of hope in his voice.

* * *

Artemis wasn't too comfortable at the moment. It was all very strange to him. Magic, fairies, paradoxes and all didn't bother him unduly, but staying in Holly Short's apartment?

Granted, Artemis never had much of a childhood and the concept of a sleep-over was fairly foreign to him. The first and so far, only time he had ever actually invited anyone to stay at the Manor was only three days ago- even if that day felt like a decade ago. But still, in Fowl Manor, everyone had their own rooms and Artemis was in the comfort of his own home.

He might actually have to sleep on a couch this time. And since in his experience, police officers tended not to be especially wealthy, it would probably not be a particularly nice couch either.

The thought seemed to bother him a lot less than he imagined it would though.

Holly led Artemis into the building and down past a thankfully deserted first floor hallway before reaching the fourteenth door. She quickly punched in the door code, not really caring whether Artemis saw it or not- it wasn't like they would be staying here for long.

"I'm warning you- don't expect much. Some of us aren't millionaires."

She opened the door and flicked on the lights.

Holly told him not to expect much, and that was pretty much what Artemis saw.

A tiny kitchen area greeted them on their right, with pots, pans, a stove, and a set of knives that Artemis couldn't quite imagine Holly using. Well, the knives, maybe, but not the other things. To their left, the smallest living room Artemis had ever seen- he hadn't seen too many which were not owned by obscenely rich people like himself- held only a short blue sofa, a small walnut coffee table, and a thin black television on the wall.

The couch was actually quite nice, but it was clearly too small for a human to sleep comfortably on.

"Wow, its neater than I thought it'd be," mused Holly, waving the boy in and closing the door behind them. "I'll… uh get you some bed sheets…" she said, disappearing into what Artemis assumed was her bedroom.

It was only when she returned with an armful of linen sheets that it really hit the Irish millionaire that he was going to be sleeping on the floor.

'_The things I do…'_ thought Fowl with a frown.

"You can go take a shower first if you like," said Holly, pointing at another door. "I need to go out to the back garden for a little bit," she said, pulling out the acorn she had gotten just a little while ago.

With that, she disappeared back out the door.

Artemis stared at his surroundings and flicked his view between the bathroom door and sheets on the ground. He finally looked down on himself and heaved a sigh.

"This suit is going to look disgusting by the time we're through…" he muttered, and stepped into the bathroom.

* * *

**A/N: **Slightly longer note than usual.

Note for those who don't know (which I'll assume is most people): Ys is a legendary city in France that was supposedly flooded by the Devil, and Shangri-la is the adapted Western name for Shambhala, a city of Tibetan legend that's located in the Himalayas. In the Artemis Fowl world I imagine that they would be fairy cities moved underground and under a mountain respectively.

On an unrelated note, with this chapter, this story joins nineteen other AF fics on this site that have over 60K words. I'd like to give a sincere thank you to everyone who has taken time to read and especially those who have reviewed. On the other hand, there are only NINETEEN other fics of this length! As I'm sure many of you would agree (or have told me specifically in your reviews), the world needs more long Artemis Fowl pieces. Please help write them!


	17. The Root of the Issue

**A/N: **New quote means new part of the story is starting- hooray!

* * *

**Artemis Fowl: The Book of Ages**

The Root of the Issue

_

* * *

_

_To live is to choose. But to choose well, you must know who you are and what you stand for, where you want to go and why you want to get there._ _- Kofi Annan_

**

* * *

The Short Residence, Haven City**

For Artemis, taking a shower in a fairy bathroom was easier said than done.

Height was the primary issue. Though Artemis thought he might have lost an inch or two in the transition from Limbo, the fact remained that he was still significantly taller than your average elf- and with that, your average elf-height showerhead.

He wasn't known as a genius for nothing though, and he did eventually figure out how to take a shower. That didn't mean he liked the method. Quite a bit of uncomfortable crouching, turning and bumping against the side of the tub was involved. At least the water was hot.

The boy got dressed in the same clothes he came in, though mentally, he reminded himself that he should go purchase a spare set at the earliest opportunity. A suit, of course.

He opened the door and turned to see something that didn't seem to fit quite right in his mind. Holly Short was sitting on the edge of her couch in a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt which had 'Lower Elements Police Academy' emblazoned in large Gnommish block letters across the front. She was watching television apparently- and a Mud Man station, no less.

It took a second for Artemis to realize that he had actually never seen her in 'civilian clothes' before. He'd seen her out of uniform though… the last time being just that morning.

'_No,'_ he corrected himself, _'not this morning, yesterday morning.'_

It was already well past midnight. 2:58 AM according to the clock next to the television at any rate.

"I take it you got your magic back?" asked Artemis, walking across the living room and briefly glancing at the newscast. He didn't really need an answer, the station already told him- it was in Arabic.

"Yeah, thank heavens," she replied in her slightly accented English. She must have felt relieved to be able to use it again. Holly turned to look at the boy, and immediately, her hand flew up to her mouth to hide a laugh. "You look like a wet dog."

It was probably the wrinkled dress shirt, the bare feet and the unruly black hair, which was still dripping water.

Artemis scowled. "Well excuse me for leaving my comb and extra shirts back in the cham pod."

"Whatever, I'll let you use the iron in the morning, and you should probably get some sleep. I know I'm tucking in as soon as I take a quick shower," she said through a yawn.

She grabbed a small bundle of clothes and stood to enter the still-steamy bathroom. Artemis saw that the legs of the captain's pants were stretched up to her calves, and that the shirt left about an inch of well-toned belly uncovered. Her clothes didn't seem to be accommodating her unnatural growth spurt as much as her uniform did.

'_And she critiques _my_ clothes…'_ thought the boy, watching her receding figure.

About a minute later, Artemis was staring at the sheets on the floor and slowly resigning himself to his undignified fate.

That was when a comb smacked into his chest dead center. He looked up just quickly enough to see the face of a laughing elf disappear behind the bathroom door.

Well, at least he could go to sleep with combed hair, if that was supposed to give him any comfort.

Artemis was absently running the teeth of the comb though his raven hair and glancing around the room for something to turn off the television with. He doubted there would be a traditional remote control. That was when he heard two words through the stream of Arabic that made him stop.

"Fowl Industries."

The boy's head perked up in surprise to look at the screen. He could hardly be called fluent in the language, having spent only the briefest amount of time teaching it to himself years ago before his father's accident on the _Fowl Star_. He never had the chance to pick it up again. Russian became a bit more of a language priority for him at the time. Still, he managed to understand a few things that the reporter was saying.

Apparently, Fowl Industries had just taken over some bankrupt Mid-East oil company and incorporated it into its energy research division, though its name and the details of the transaction were lost on the boy. The bankrupt company's name had an odd translation, something he was sure wasn't a common word.

Smirking a little to himself at his double's success, he found the power switch on the television set itself and turned the device off just as the news anchor had switched to another story.

It was only when Artemis was laying on the sheets on the floor- he would never be caught describing it as a bed- that he slowly began to think over the day's events.

'_I'm in Holly Short's apartment, Julius Root is alive and well, and Trouble and N°1 are in some prison…'_ he yawned and closed his eyes. _'I wonder how many ways there are to break into a maximum security detention center…'_

That, he could probably find out easily enough. But there was something else bothering him.

'_Just how _does_ one use a clothing iron?'_

_

* * *

_Despite the fact that it was past three in the morning and there was a Mud Boy sleeping in her living room, Holly Short was feeling quite pleased with herself. Being recently recharged with magic tended to put most fairies in a good mood, after all.

The clothing situation bothered her less than it would have bothered many other female elves, and certainly less than it would have bothered Lili Frond if she had been in this condition. Holly was never an elf who cared that much about her clothes. Besides, with any luck, she would be back in uniform and breaking her friends out of prison soon enough.

She sucked in an involuntary breath when she stepped out into the living room and saw Artemis' unmoving form on the floor. In the darkness, he looked so much like he had when she'd put his frozen body in a sleeping bag back in Dublin. After a second, she shook her head, trying to get rid of the thought- it was bad enough the first time, no need to relive it.

Still…

The elf crouched down and gently laid a hand on the sleeping boy's face, as if making sure he was the right temperature. His warm skin on her hand told him he was, but something else happened then too.

Thin, solitary sparks of magic leapt from her fingertips and hopped across Artemis' face and neck disappearing into his chest.

'_There must have been internal damage from being frozen...'_ Holly thought as her eyes trailed the blue sparks.

Artemis shifted a little in his slumber, but didn't wake up.

With a sigh, she got up and gingerly stepped over the boy's body and disappeared into her own room.

Like the room itself, the bed was cold when Holly got in and slipped under the covers. Six months without an occupant had left the Short apartment without heat for that long- both from the building's own systems, and from a living being inside.

'_If all goes according to plan,'_ she thought, then stopped, remembering- as Artemis frequently reminded her- that there _was_ no plan. _'Well… if all goes as hoped then… we'll find N°1 and Trouble, then we can go find the Book of Ages and restore our timeline. Then all of this war could be avoided…'_

In a half-sleep, Holly let her mind wander back to that morning that seemed like a century ago, when she had visited Trouble's office in Police Plaza, and this whole mess began.

_Commander_ Trouble Kelp. It was something she still had to get used to.

Holly's eyelids shot open. Commander.

Commander Kelp of her time… Commander Root of this…

She hadn't thought far beyond what would happen once they found the Book of Ages, only hedging on the belief that they could finally go back to their world, their time.

But to restore the timeline was to destroy this one…

And to destroy this one… was to kill Julius Root. Again.

If they succeeded, this time, it _would_ be her fault.

Holly knew she could never say that this timeline was better than her own. After all, how many disasters had been prevented only because she had been working with Artemis Fowl II? Still, her throat went dry and she became very consciously aware of just how cold the sheets were against her exposed skin.

There were less than three hours left until Haven's artificial sky lit up for the new morning. Despite her fatigue, Holly Short did not spend much of that time asleep.

* * *

'Breakfast' in the Short apartment occurred at nearly ten in the morning and consisted of stale energy bars and a cup of water. Everything else had already gone bad in the other Holly's absence. The energy bars, on the other hand, had a much longer shelf life. In fact, Holly had never seen one go bad before in all her years- she wasn't sure if the _could_ go bad at all. Of course, they tasted just about as stale now as they did when they were first bought.

Both boy and elf were sitting on Holly's couch while eating. The captain had lived alone and never felt the need to have a dining table. On a normal day, two of her meals were consumed either in the tunnels or at the Police Plaza cafeteria anyway.

"Holly, you look like a ghost," remarked Artemis with a frown.

"And you look like a vampire," the elf shot back irritably, "what's your point?"

He was right though- figuratively, if not literally. The elf had dark circles under her eyes, and she kept on staring into space. She chewed maybe only half the time she had food in her mouth, as if she kept on forgetting that she was eating.

Granted, Artemis himself had the same circles under his eyes from lack of sleep, but they weren't nearly as severe as Holly's were. Besides, he was Artemis Fowl: the vampire look was almost to be expected.

Artemis studied Holly's face for a moment, and the captain looked away, suddenly seeming very interested in her pasty energy bar.

"It's the Commander isn't it?" asked the boy after a moment.

A look of surprise came over Holly's features for just a moment, before she gave a resigned sigh and threw the energy bar onto the coffee table and rubbed both eyes with the heels of her hands.

"Is it seeing him again or…" asked Artemis slowly.

Holly gave him a sideways glance. He looked right back, but didn't continue speaking.

When the elf finally responded, it was in a low voice. She might have meant it to sound like an accusation, but it didn't come out that way.

"You already knew when you saw him." It was a simple statement of fact. They were probably getting to know each other too well.

One might have expected a ticking clock or a dropping pin to break the silence that ensued, but Holly didn't have any pins handy. And her clock was digital, so there was no sound from that either.

Fowl only dipped his head slightly.

If asked later about what precisely happened next, Holly Short wouldn't have been able to give a very clear answer. All she knew was that one moment, she was sitting next to her friend in the only couch in her apartment, and the next, she was wringing his collar in her clenched fists.

* * *

Artemis had a somewhat clearer idea of what happened.

He had nodded. He had a fairly good guess at what was bothering the captain. He believed that the chances of his guess being right were maybe ninety-eight percent. Of course, no matter what Holly's reaction was, if this turned out to be the other two percent… well, that would have made for an extremely awkward situation.

What he didn't see coming though, was that Holly would be standing on the couch, towering over him, and grabbing the front of his shirt as if he was some sort of cheap rag doll.

"You _knew_!" she yelled at him, "You knew if we succeeded then we'd have to _kill_ Julius!"

Artemis could only stare at her with a look that was both pain and surprise. She was right, he did know. There was though, one other thing he knew: girls did _not_ yell at Artemis Fowl II.

Of course that might be partly because the number of females who even _spoke_ to him on a regular basis could be counted on a single hand- without using all the fingers.

Holly didn't know that. But even if she did, she would have kept on yelling at him anyway. Which she did.

"You didn't even _think_ of telling me, did you!?"

As a matter of fact, Artemis had… just not this early. Plus, he'd still been trying to tell her in a bit more _tactful_ manner than his usual blunt assessments, something he obviously wasn't very good at. Understandably, Julius Root was a bit of a sensitive topic for Holly.

But at the moment, he wasn't thinking about that. Holly wasn't trying to shake him anymore, but his shirt was still vibrating.

Then, like a deflated balloon, the elf collapsed onto the cushions under her. She was breathing heavily and her hands hung limply at her sides, seeming tired after assaulting Artemis' clothes. Artemis thought he saw moisture on the sides of the elf's face.

Three times in his life, Artemis Fowl had seen Holly Short cry. Each time, it was remembering the loss of her dear friend and commander. This was the fourth. Only this time, Julius Root was alive and well. The problem was, Holly was right- if they won, that was due to change.

He put a hand on her shoulder gently, as if trying not to startle her. She didn't try to shake it off.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, "I should have told you before."

Holly gulped down two large breaths and looked like she was trying to square her shoulders to stop them from trembling.

"You should have…" she agreed finally, blowing a sigh between her lips. She looked at Artemis and seemed to realize what she had just done. "Artemis… I don't know what came over me, s-"

The boy cut her off.

"Holly, don't blame yourself. I don't think anyone could have seen this coming. You're behaving like a real friend would. Believe me, you did _not_ kill Commander Root. That was Opal Koboi, and she alone."

A few years ago, Artemis would have cringed to hear such sentimentality coming from his own mouth, but somehow, it seemed right to say it now.

"Thanks," said the captain softly, pulling a sleeve from her shirt up to wipe her face. "I just feel like we're tricking him, you know? He thinks he retired to Atlantis…"

Artemis was thoughtful as he quietly looked at the elf.

"Maybe we could," he paused, unsure for a moment before he finally continued, "tell him."

Holly stared at the Mud Boy for what seemed like a long while. He didn't look away, and she could tell in his eyes that he was- at least for the moment- being completely sincere. That was becoming more common these days.

'_What would Julius think if he knew what really happened?'_ she wondered.

She desperately hoped that he wouldn't begin mistrust them. But even if he did, she felt like she owed it to him to at least give him the truth.

"Yeah, I think we could," she said finally.

Artemis nodded. "He's an honorable elf and a great commander. He'd do the right thing."

Holly gave him a small, not-quite-sad smile. After all, he was right- what was Julius Root if not honorable?

* * *

What Julius Root was, in addition to being honorable, was irritated.

"Alright Commander, if this is some elaborate joke, you can call it off now," said Foaly the centaur nervously as they entered the LEP temporary residence hall, AKA, the apartment building they took over after many officers' houses were destroyed in the war.

"This is _not_ a joke pony-boy," grunted Root, pushing his way past the double doors at the entrance.

Foaly followed along, though he wasn't very happy about it. He'd rather be at his makeshift lab, making improvements to the new batch of Neutrinos he had built over the last few months.

Root stopped in front of the door that the centaur recognized to be Holly's. His eyes widened a little as he realized that the commander might have actually been serious.

Then he thought, _'Nah, he's probably just gone senile…'_

More than a little part of him hoped that he hadn't though.

Root knocked on the door.

* * *

Artemis raised an eyebrow. Holly glanced at the door, then back at Fowl.

"It's probably him," she said.

Artemis wanted to say something, but 'speak of the devil,' didn't seem very appropriate right now. Instead, he just patted the elf on the back as she got up.

"You can do it Holly," he encouraged.

She made sure her face was dry before she walked over and opened the door slowly.

"Good morning Captain," said Julius Root cheerfully, sounding as if he'd just won a bet, "may we come in?"

"Yeah, of course- uh, good morning to you too Commander," replied Holly hesitantly as she stepped aside to let the old elf in.

Artemis nodded at Root, but was more concentrated on wondering who the other part of 'we' was. The couch was on the side of the room and thus, he couldn't see who was standing at the door until he or she decided to come in. His first guess had been Lili Frond, but by the way Holly appeared to be holding back a laugh despite what she had just been through, he suspected it was someone else. Unless, of course, Frond had somehow- and very visibly- made a fool of herself this early in the morning.

Whoever was standing at the door made a choking sound.

"Who are you and what did you do to Holly's clothes?!" yelled the unseen fairy.

"Hello Foaly," said the captain with a bit of humor in her voice.

Artemis chuckled.

'_Come on Foaly, Holly looks good in those clothes, even if they are really stretched,'_ he thought.

Before he had time to realize that such a thought actually passed through his mind, Root spoke up.

"Stop your yapping and come in before somebody sees her," he barked.

The centaur walked in as if in a daze, staring at the elf who had opened the door for him all the while.

Artemis couldn't help himself.

"Good morning Foaly," he said with a smile, "you're just the person I needed to see."

Foaly's head whipped to his direction and he blinked several times before he started gaping.

"M-m-mud man? A Mud Boy in Holly's apartment?" he stammered.

Then something very curious happened. The centaur grabbed the edges of his ever-present tin foil hat and pulled them roughly down his ears, shutting his eyes as he did.

"No Mud Man mind ray will ever take over my brain," he muttered loudly to himself, "this isn't real! Holly isn't actually here. No Mud Boy is sitting on her couch. I'm probably just in my lab. My hat will protect me- humans don't have the electrical power to send hallucination rays for long. In just another few seconds, I'll be perfectly fine. I am Foaly, super-genius LEP inventor, and I will not lose my mind! I am Foaly, super-genius LEP…"

He repeated it as if it was some life-saving mantra. Holly and Artemis simply gawked at his performance, but Root let him repeat the last bit twice more before coughing loudly.

He froze.

Holly closed the door and walked up to the poor, paranoid centaur and punched him on the shoulder. It looked painful.

"Hey Foaly, it's me," she said with a small smile, "mind rays can't punch that hard."

Artemis imagined she would have probably been happier about doing that if it had been any other time.

"That hurt!" he complained.

The elf just shrugged.

"You told me to punch you if you ever thought your brain was being taken over remember? Something about theta rays not being able to affect pain receptors?"

Foaly's eyes grew to the size of saucers as he looked around himself again and finally settled back on Holly.

"Well call me a pony…" he muttered, "that Trouble imposter wasn't insane…"

"See?" said Root, smirking, "I was right. And for the record, I already did."

"I think it's time we brought Mr. Foaly up to speed," said Artemis. He then gave Holly a quick look. She seemed to understand. Talking to Root about the past would have to wait.

* * *

**Several Hours Later**

After explaining what they could about the situation- and assuring Foaly that yes, this was actually happening- the group finally got to making plans. As part of planning a prison break, Artemis decided it was probably best to show them what equipment they had with them.

"See Commander," said Foaly gleefully, pointing at the Shimmer Suit, C Cube and pair of blasters assembled on Holly's coffee table, "when I'm given a better budget, I can crank out these beauties instead of refitting old handguns."

"They didn't happen to have a war on their hands!" retorted Root, glaring at the inventor.

"Whatever…" replied the centaur before clearing his throat, "Anyway, that's a pretty tall order you have here Fowl, even if you're using really nice equipment."

The boy nodded. Getting a pair of fairies out of a prison wasn't what he had in mind when the whole mess started. Then again, he wasn't exactly sure what to expect at all. Still, if something like this had to be done, the group assembled now would be among the first people he'd call anyway. Butler would have also been a great resource right now, but that couldn't be helped.

Foaly pointed at the C Cube and looked at Artemis.

"May I?"

"Go ahead," replied the boy.

The centaur looked quite happy as he activated the machine, and seemed only slightly put off when he found that the keyboard was in English letters and human numbers. Still, he jumped straight in as if he had been using it for years.

"According to the Humanes working in the United Kingdom, your friends are being held in the Strangeroads Prison facility in the Pennines mountain range about fifteen miles east of Manchester."

A satellite image of the location popped up on the device's holographic display. At first, the building looked like a white dot on a brown-green background, but quickly resolved into a dull grey, eight-sided shape with several secondary buildings off to the side and only two main roads leading off the area.

"This used to be a Category B facility for a mixed-sex human population of about six hundred. Now it's a high security prison for around three hundred fairies and a hundred fifty human inmates- one of only three aboveground detention centers holding fairies in Europe. It doesn't have the tightest locks in Europe, but it's not too far behind either."

Foaly peered past the image to look at Artemis and Holly.

"By the way you two got captured, it seems like you'd likely have ended there too, if you weren't rescued, since the other two are a bit overcrowded fairy-wise." He leaned back and spread his arms in an expression of doubt. "I don't know… Mud Man security systems might not be as good as mine, but you're still going to have some serious issues if you want to get people out of there alive."

Artemis could feel several pairs of eyes on him. It was almost funny how they all deferred to him so quickly when something like this came up. Maybe they were right to- he used to be a criminal, while they all worked for the police forces after all.

Fowl stared intently at the image for a moment. He had read about similar facilities in the past, but he had no idea how much the systems had changed to accommodate fairy inmates. Rubbing his temples with both thumbs, he tried very hard to think of possible scenarios.

A plan would need a lot more time to make, but for now, options had to be considered.

"Let's start by getting in…" he said.

* * *

**A/N:** Several people have asked me to "add more AH romance" into the story. In fact, one reviewer suggested a specific scenario that ended in a nude make-out session interrupted by Lili Frond (which I found very amusing). I have to ask though that people please refrain from urging me to put in too much AH (you can yell at me once the story is finished if you feel there wasn't enough) because I'm really trying to keep the progression at something that would make sense considering books 5 and 6, and plus, romance scenes take a lot more time for me to write than others. Unless, of course, you want something along the lines of a quick and dirty OOC one-shot. If you do, don't look here. Thank you.


	18. Extraordinary Circumstances

**Artemis Fowl: The Book of Ages**

Extraordinary Circumstances

* * *

**Manchester, England**

The pair was not to be found in a national capital this time. Instead, they were at the Manchester Marriott William and Mary Hotel in, well, Manchester, naturally.

By the way Hunter carried himself while walking past the grand lobby of the hotel, one couldn't even begin to guess that his company was in financial ruins- or that it had just been taken over by Artemis Fowl's considerably more successful corporation. His companion didn't seem too miffed about it either.

If Opal Koboi's father had seen her now, walking easily into a human establishment, wearing a knee-length black silk dress designed for a Mud Woman, he might have shaken his head at her, thinking that he had been right all along. Beauty and brains put together in this person was bound to be a disastrous mix. Of course, he would have certainly fainted at the first sight of it anyway, before he had time to consider anything of the sort. It was probably a good thing that Opal didn't keep in touch with her father.

"Let me handle this one, won't you Opal?" asked Hunter cordially, though there was a bit of humor in his voice.

"Gladly," replied former pixie, apparently missing the tone, "I'd prefer not having to talk to dimwits anyway."

He was used to her usual assessment of complete strangers, but Hunter still winced a little. He hoped the receptionist didn't hear that one. When he reached the marble counter, a petite blonde woman in a crisp beige business suit greeted him with a smile. Maybe she really didn't hear Opal's comment. Or if she did, she was good at hiding it.

Hunter merely nodded at her.

"I believe you have a reservation in your books for me. Dmetri Maisky?"

She replied without hesitation, as if she had expected the name.

"I think we do sir," she responded, tapping a few keys on the computer next to her and glancing at what Hunter assumed was a reservation schedule. She spoke after just a few seconds. "Ah, yes, here we are. Welcome Mr. Maisky; now if you'll kindly give me your reservation number and identification please."

Hunter rattled off the ten digit alphanumeric code from memory as he pulled out his wallet. He smiled only a little bit at the woman's surprise.

The card he laid on the marble counter showed the name he gave and his picture, of course. Much more importantly though, the background showed a distinct watermark bearing the image of a golden double-headed eagle on a shining shield- the ID was one from Russia's Federal Security Service.

When the receptionist saw the card, she seemed somewhat taken aback. She recognized it, but was probably more used to seeing wealthy businessmen passing through the establishment. This would be a first. Who knew FSB agents even made enough money to afford to vacation in high-class hotels like this one? Then again, it might have been that he was simply here as part of his job. If he was, the woman hoped it wasn't a sting operation in the building.

Those tended to get messy.

She gave him a quick look, but turned back to her computer quickly enough so that it seemed like she didn't want to get caught. Didn't he look a bit too young to be in the FSB? He might have, unless he was just very good at what he did.

It was acceptable identification though, and it was not her business to get involved with such people.

"Uh, if you'll give me a moment sir, I'll have to clear your identification," she said with a bit of uncertainty.

"Of course," replied Hunter as she hurried off to a side room.

"Dimwit…" muttered Opal behind him.

"Not so loud now, dear," admonished the man from the corner of his mouth.

The woman returned within a minute and handed the card back to Hunter with a bright- if slightly less sincere- smile.

She pulled a pair of small white envelopes from under the table and slid them across the granite counter.

"A pair of rooms for you and Miss…"

"Lemieux," completed Hunter smoothly, saying the first name that he thought of that wouldn't offend the former pixie.

"Yes," said the receptionist nodding at Opal before pointing at each envelope in turn, "You'll have suites 1012 and 1014. That's ten floors up and straight to the end of the hall on your left. Have a nice stay Mr. Maisky, Ms. Lemieux. If you need anything at all, please don't hesitate to call the front desk."

The hotel staff clearly did not know who they were dealing with. If the poor receptionist had been perhaps just a bit more informed, getting by would have been a tad more inconvenient. But the fact remained, humans saw what they wanted to see- or in this case, what she did not want to see, but rather feared.

That worked well enough for Hunter. Let the girl suspect a FSB sting. It would keep her from thinking- or truly, from even seeing- properly.

Hunter thanked the woman quickly and left towards the elevator with Opal in tow. He waved the surprised bellhop away when the elevator arrived, pressing a ten-pound note into the man's hand as he took his and Opal's bags (of which the latter was by far the larger of the two). When the elevator doors closed, they were the only two occupants in the elevator car.

"Why not have the boy bring it up?" asked Opal.

"Privacy," responded Hunter simply, "you can never have too much of it."

A moment passed by in silence as Opal seemed to mull over the thought.

"You know, I absolutely agree with you," said Opal with a satisfied smile as the car ascended.

"What?" asked the man innocently "Privacy?"

"Lemieux," she repeated the name as if it really was her own, "I know I'm the best."

Koboi might have lost her magical grasp of languages when she became human, but with her intelligence level, it didn't take her very long to relearn most of the languages she would ever need aboveground.

She gave Hunter a peculiar look and a half-smile, as if had just decided on something she had been mulling over for a while. He didn't seem too bothered by it though.

"Naturally, dear," muttered Hunter, keeping a straight face, though he was chuckling internally. The woman was far too predictable with such things. But that just made it easier for him.

The elevator speaker chimed once and the doors slid open to reveal a well-lit, carpeted hallway.

If anyone had asked why he had reserved _two_ rooms in the hotel, Hunter would have responded with an appropriately disapproving expression and said that it would hardly be proper for him to be sharing a room with a female working partner. After all, that was all he and Opal were, he would say. Business partners.

It wasn't like he couldn't afford the rooms.

When he reached the end of the hall, he handed Opal her card key and opened his own room next to hers without a word.

The rooms he chose were far above a busy city street, situated to give them two of the best views possible from that hotel. Each had large windows and a porch that was alone perhaps the size of some of the smaller rooms in the building. It wasn't a bodyguard's absolute worst nightmare, but it came close in terms of location within a hotel. That was a severe lapse in Hunter's usual choice of residences, but that was just his way of celebrating.

A sniper would have had four clear shots from nearby buildings to the porch of one of the rooms, the divider between the two porches blocked off the other. But he wasn't going to be spending any time on the porch, and so the extra space there only created more cover, rather than acting as a weakness. Still, it was not difficult to guess which one Hunter was in.

Besides, as of late, most of the people who might have wanted to kill him were dead, and the others now knew better than to try.

* * *

**The Short Residence, Haven City**

"Are you sure about this?" asked Commander Julius Root guardedly.

"Absolutely," replied Artemis confidently, "getting in will not be an issue at all."

Holly rolled her eyes, but still, when she looked back at the boy, her expression was troubled.

"Well if you're going in _that_ way… anyone could do it. But this is no Spiro Needle- guards are on regular patrols and the prison population means that you can't just hijack the camera system."

Foaly shook his head.

"Well, technically, there would be no need to trick too many cameras if this works. But it all depends on how they react. If they even do things a _little_ bit differently, you're trapped."

"Obviously, there are still some details to be worked out, but I think that would do for a preliminary plan," said Artemis before turning to the centaur, "but for now, do you think you can get what we need?"

Foaly put his hands on his hips and huffed indignantly.

"Can a goblin find his own mother at a party?" he retorted.

Now, though it isn't a well known fact among humans, goblins were actually very much attached to their mothers. Yes, we're talking about the forked-tongue, scaly-skinned, fireball-making green folk here. Mothers and sons going to the same parties in goblin culture though… that would be a topic unto itself.

Artemis was among the humans who didn't know this. He just raised an eyebrow.

"That's a yes," said Holly quickly, seeing his confusion.

"_If_ Julius gives me some time off from playing department mechanic," interjected Foaly.

"Yeah, fine," grumbled Root, "you're not the only one who knows how to fix stuff…"

"Uh huh," smiled the centaur, "sure Julius, it just takes me a tenth the time everyone else does."

The old Commander turned scarlet and his cheeks seemed to bulge for a moment.

"… do _not_ call me Julius, civilian!"

Foaly used a hairy hand to cover his mouth as he smirked.

"Indispensable civilian," he muttered, though fortunately for him, Root didn't hear it. Out loud, he said something else. "Alright then, I'll get right on it."

He clopped to the door and was about to open it when he suddenly stopped. He turned around and pointed a finger at Holly.

"You owe me for this one Holls."

"Two bushels of carrots and a case of beetle juice?" asked the elf with a small smile.

Foaly froze. "How did you…" he shook his head suddenly, "forget it, I don't want to know."

Root made a move to follow the centaur as soon as he had walked out into the hallway, but Holly stopped him with a hand on his shoulder. It seemed odd that she could put a hand there now without reaching up.

"Holly?" asked the Commander quizzically.

"Uh, Commander Root I… um, before you go…" stammered Holly, mixed emotions flashing across her face.

Artemis decided to help her out a little.

"There are some things we needed to tell you," he said calmly. He wasn't looking at Root when he said it though. His eyes were stuck on the conflicted captain's face.

Root gave the pair a long look before sighing and sitting back down.

"Why do I feel like I'm going to use up all my cigars today?"

* * *

**Strangeroads Prison Facility, Derbyshire, England**

The landscape surrounding this prison would have done well as the backdrop to some post-apocalyptic horror film. The earth itself was a dark brown, almost black with the collective decay of an ancient forest that was no longer there. One might have thought that the process would allow a new forest to grow in its place easily, but that was not to be for this place. Instead, there were no trees at all, and even smaller wild plants were a rarity. The prison, with its half-dozen or so buildings, was the only sign of civilization. Everything else was as bleak, or if it were possible, bleaker than the prison.

And it seemed to go on forever.

Maybe that was why Strangeroads was built there. To escapees, a trek through this region would have probably seemed less inviting than going back to prison. Forested land lay only a few miles away, but for those few miles, there was nothing to hide behind if one was pursued.

Neither Opal nor Hunter was particularly concerned with the outward appearance of the prison though. They were already inside- and escorted by the section supervisor, no less.

Even with their, shall we say… antics… in the hotel, they had made the appointment in due time, arriving at Strangeroads not ninety minutes after they had set foot in the Marriott.

"If I may say, it is a huge honor to have you here, sir. I realize just how _unique_ this opportunity is, and I mean for the both of us," said the supervisor, bobbing his head up and down as if he couldn't keep it still.

The man was a tall, brown-haired Englishman with the severe face that one would expect from one in his position. But he had the demeanor of an overeager child! Hunter was getting rather annoyed- and he could feel Opal fuming silently behind him. It was a wonder she was silent at all, really.

"Yes," he agreed quietly, "I'm sure it is, Mr. Templeton. But as you must surely understand, my time is rather precious, so if you would please lead the way…"

Mr. Templeton seemed to shake himself out of his little moment as he heard Hunter. He nodded again- this time, with a purpose though.

"Yeah, of course," he stretched out a hand in front of him, indicating the way they had been walking anyway- a bit unnecessary, "this way."

The section they were in had a population that was almost entirely fairy. On either side of the trio were dreary-looking light blue doors with small windows that had a metal mesh weaved into them. There were more goblins than anything else, and those were mostly kept in cells with one or two others. The walls were, of course, fireproof, but still, many of them bore the marks of having one too many fireballs being thrown at them.

The goblins seemed like the only kind that was interested in the passing group. More than one threw a fireball at the cell window as they passed, causing loud bangs and echoes wherever they went. The others mostly ignored them.

Members of every one of the Eight Fairy Families- except for one- could be seen in these cells. It was a rather sad scene if one stopped to think about it. Also quite strange, really. To see all of these supposedly mythological creatures sitting and sulking as prisoners in a war most of them wanted no part of. Perhaps now what was needed was just a muttering, cursing leprechaun in a green top hat and a few sad-looking unicorns chewing on hay to make an image that could have come from a very perverse and twisted version of a child's fantasy book.

Quite a few of the fairies cursed now and then, actually- and in more languages than even Hunter or Opal would care to learn, but leprechauns (or indeed, members of LEPRecon- the few of them that were in the prison) hadn't worn green hats for several hundred years now. And fortunately, humans had yet to capture a unicorn.

Templeton stopped at the end of the hall, which had doors that were a darker blue than the others running down to the left and right to form a 'T' shaped passage with the path they had just come from.

"Solitary units," explained the man, stepping to one side.

Opal went forward and peered inside the first door. Her lips tucked downwards in an annoyed frown.

"Elves are of no interest to us, Templeton. I've seen enough of these things to last a lifetime," she scowled.

Hunter's eyes flashed onto the prison official, "I do believe I made it clear well before our arrival what we wanted to see."

The man raised his arms in a placating gesture, "To be sure, yes, yes. I simply stopped here because we needed to have a guard at the control center open that gate at the far end for us."

He pointed towards one end of the 'T' and lifted a bright red telephone from a receiver mounted on the wall. Speaking quickly into it, he replaced the device a moment later and waved his two visitors towards the gate.

"We keep the phone some distance away, and there is a twenty-five second delay between the guard activating the unlocking sequence and the door actually opening. Security, you know- there's actually quite a bit more behind the system, such as-"

Hunter cut him off, nodding towards the now-open gate and coughing loudly.

"I am aware of your procedures, Mr. Templeton. I am sure you are doing an adequate job of keeping your prisoners in check."

The words were put together as a compliment, but his tone made it clear that more talking was not necessary.

Templeton led them just a few more feet and inserted his key into the only door behind the gate. He might have wanted to mention the sophistication behind the microchip embedded inside the seemingly ordinary key and the weekly code rotation of the numbers he now punched into a pad on the wall, but he wisely decided to keep his mouth shut this time.

The door clicked open with a small sound that didn't betray how complex the lock actually was, but neither Opal nor Hunter cared. Opal walked in first.

Hunter turned to the man and gave him a thin smile.

"We will be quite alright in there. And in any case, I'm sure you will be watching on your cameras anyhow."

The man opened his mouth to speak. "That we will. But if you have any trouble at all Mr-"

But Hunter was already inside, and the door was already shut.

He shook his head as he walked back to the control tower. He was sure the fellow was quite intelligent, but he could have been a bit nicer. The young lady too- she looked far too fine to speak as cuttingly as she did.

And though they were authorized to, Templeton hoped the pair didn't do anything too terrible in there.

There _was_ only one demon left in the world, after all.

* * *

**Inside High-Security Solitary Unit HMP0075**

The imp named N°1 was having a nice dream before he was awakened by an unkind voice. The dream involved waffles and was actually causing him to drool a bit in his sleep. It had been a long time since he had had waffles.

He muttered something about quantum zombies stealing his breakfast as he blearily rubbed his eyes and sat up. He only opened one eye at first, but that was enough.

Poor N°1 got an eyeful of Opal Koboi with a manic grin on her face. The young imp gave a sharp gasp before moaning loudly and shutting his eyes, feeling suddenly like he was very, very queasy.

He didn't even notice the other person yet.

* * *

**The Short Residence, Haven City**

Commander Julius Root was pacing.

He also had a cigar in his mouth- the last in his pack. He hadn't lit it, but was rather chewing it to a pulp- just like he had done to the other half-dozen that had gone into Holly's incinerator within the last hour and a half.

As was to be expected, his face was currently in a shade of red that even the world's crayon-factories had yet to give a name to.

Artemis and Holly sat on the room's only sofa, watching him walk back and forth in front of them. Holly looked much more nervous out of the two of them, but then again, Artemis was better at hiding his emotions (or perhaps, it was better to say that he was simply worse at expressing them).

"Well," asked Holly finally, "say something, Commander."

Root stopped pacing and looked directly at Holly, slowly taking his cigar out of mouth.

"What do you want me to say?" he asked, quite calmly despite his complexion.

The female captain stared back at him.

The old elf heaved a sigh and stuck his cigar back into his mouth, keeping it at one corner so that he could still speak. He started pacing again, slower though, this time.

"Well, on one hand, I could have Fowl ejected from the city right now and left to whatever human police might be looking for him… That's not exactly standard procedure for fairy-kidnappers but this time I'm sure there won't be any problems having an exception."

Artemis swallowed and looked a bit paler than usual.

"Then again… goblins in the Arctic, a dwarf scaling a human skyscraper, bringing Hybras back safely- using a bomb!" he paused, as if trying to accept the things that were coming out of his own mouth even now, "If even _half_the things you told me after the kidnapping are true…"

Root stopped pacing for the second time and stared back at Holly.

"… then you are one Damn." Another pause, "Crazy." A third. "Captain."

Holly blinked back at him.

"Um… yes, I guess so, Commander…" she responded sheepishly.

Artemis somehow managed to keep a straight face. It might have helped that there was the threat of kicking him out of Haven hanging around the back of his mind.

"But… Commander… Opal's bomb… the tunnel…" Holly didn't continue immediately, as if waiting for the usual sadness that accompanied remembering the incident to well up in her. It didn't come though- she was too shocked at Root's reaction (or rather, his lack or reaction) right now.

Root's eyes didn't turn sad. Instead, he gained an almost fatherly look as he circled the coffee table and sat down next to Holly. The reddish color also seemed to disappear from his face. He gripped the captain's shoulder, causing her to look away from him.

"Holly, is that what you were worried about?" he asked gently.

Holly looked up at him, not believing what she had just heard.

Root gave her a small smile and shook his head.

"Holly Short, it was _not _your fault. And as your commanding officer, I order you to stop blaming yourself for something that an insane, evil person did." He continued before Holly could respond. "Also, like I said, if even half the things you said were true… well, I would gladly give my life up to see those things restored."

"But…" started the Captain, though she was unsure of what her actual retort might have been.

"Holly," began Root again, looking hard at the female, "it's the duty of every LEP officer to put the People first, and I be damned if I was selfish enough to let something like myself get in the way of saving the demon family from destruction and our People from a war. If I die in the line of duty, then that's an honor unto itself. And if my last order to you was to be well and make sure the Mud Boy doesn't get himself killed, then that's a fine order to be giving to you again now."

At that moment, Holly seemed to find her emotions again, and with a sudden, great sob, hugged her Commander tight around the neck. It wasn't something that generally happened with LEP officers, and there was no procedure to follow for it, but at the moment, Julius Root seemed more like Holly's surrogate father than her commanding officer.

Needless to say, he hugged her back.

Julius Root was not only a very honorable elf, but he also took to the news much better than either Artemis or Holly had expected.

"Don't worry about me, I'd be a much happier elf if you brought things back to the way they were," he whispered.

It was not lost on Holly that he didn't say that 'the way things were' did not include himself being alive.

On the side, Artemis stayed quiet. His lack of social skills did not extend so far that he didn't know when to let others have a moment. He was, though, very glad that Holly now had some semblance of a proper resolution. He was also rather happy that Root wasn't scrapping the whole mission.

When the two elves finally settled back down, and Holly had wiped away her last tear from the edge of her eyes, Root became serious again as he spoke to them both.

"Now, I usually have a policy against working with criminals," he looked pointedly at Artemis.

"Ex-criminal," interjected the boy.

"… and odd elves who pop up and claim to be another version of my missing officers," he continued, ignoring Fowl, "but this time, I'll make an exception." He smiled, "I think the Council's Extraordinary Circumstances clause would back me up on that if it ever came to court."

* * *

**A/N:** Though my winter holidays are coming up, I cannot promise to update any faster. Again, blame the lab (yes, even during the holidays, because I am a loser like that), but also, I have to finalize a lot of details about prisons... And oh yes, Happy Thanksgiving to the Americans who celebrate it.


	19. Serving Time

**A/N:** Hummer = civilian Humvee, military Hummer = Humvee

* * *

**Artemis Fowl: The Book of Ages**

Serving Time

**

* * *

The Short Residence, Haven City- afternoon**

"What I wouldn't give to have Butler helping out with this one," muttered Artemis Fowl, rubbing his eyes as he studied the floating holographic image of an octagonal building.

He had already lit in bright green dots the location of each known exit to Strangeroads Prison, leaving a scattered dozen or so points of green within the shining blue lattice. Of course, he wasn't leaving out the option of _creating_ an exit, but for that, he knew he would likely need lots of time, light artillery, or an army of dwarves.

'_Actually, scratch the dwarves,'_ thought the boy, _'concrete's no good, even for them.'_

Artemis concluded that he was definitely taking a pre-made exit.

Though the name 'N°1' was hardly to be found anywhere on the Strangeroads detainee roster, the location of the imp was rather low on Artemis' list of concerns. After all, where in a prison but the most secure location, would one keep the last- and possibly most powerful- member of the demon race?

Likewise, Commander Kelp was not difficult to locate either. He was simply listed- and his cell number given- in the prison records.

The key here though, was finding the right way to get himself into position. Artemis knew- though obviously not from personal experience- that there was no guarantee that he would end up anywhere near either fairy. So he had to devise a plan that would work no matter where he was.

There were eight sections in the prison, and hence, eight possible objectives. Once he got in though, there would be only one. All he had to do was complete that one objective.

And if he failed… well, surely prison food couldn't be much worse than Holly's energy bars.

* * *

**The Short Residence, Haven City- evening**

"No!" yelled Holly Short, her voice bouncing around the interior of the small apartment, "I won't do it! That has _got_ to be the _stupidest_ thing you've ever come up with!"

"It's our best option," replied Artemis, though he didn't sound as sure of himself as he might have in the past. He seemed to be taking to being called stupid somewhat better now though. "I can't fool the doctors by myself, and we have to get out this way, or we're not getting out at all."

Holly glared at the boy, both blue and hazel eyes angry and frustrated.

"There _is_ another way," huffed the elf, "in fact, there should be _so many_ other ways to do this- why do it to yourself?"

"Time is of the essence," replied Artemis, "we can't afford to implement any of the other plans now. The other ways would take weeks of preparation, and we don't have that kind of time."

"Listen to me Mud Boy," Artemis frowned. Holly never called him 'Mud Boy' these days unless she was _really_ annoyed. Holly continued, ignoring Fowl's expression, "Get it through your head- I am _not_ going to do that to you."

"Think of Commander Kelp, of N°1," retorted Artemis, "if we don't get them out soon, who knows what they'll do to them." The boy's face turned dark. "Or what they've already done- especially to the _only remaining demon in existence_."

Holly swallowed visibly and set her lips into a thin, stern line. Neither of them spoke for a good minute or so.

Artemis sighed.

"Think it over Holly. It'll just be very, very brief and I will be perfectly fine afterwards."

* * *

It was nearly half an hour before Holly would speak to Artemis again. By that time, the boy genius had already finalized quite a few other details of the plan. Of course, if Holly refused, the vast majority of his work over the past day would have been rendered utterly useless.

The captain agreed, but anyone could have read the frustration on her face when she did.

"Thank you, Holly," said Artemis sincerely, "I promise you it'll be fine. Trust me, I studied medicine."

Holly did not look convinced.

"If you don't come out of there alive," growled the elf, "I _swear_ I will beat you to a pulp."

Artemis smiled.

"Oh, don't worry about that. I have every intention of coming out rather healthy."

* * *

That was one argument down, but it would have been quite wrong to say that it was over.

"Look Holly, we've had this discussion already," sighed Artemis Fowl, barely an hour later "This _again_, is a perfectly logical plan, and Commander Root assured us that he'll have the transport ready."

"I'm not worried about the transport Arty, I'm worried about getting you _to_ the transport!"

"Fine," said Artemis, trying another line of reasoning, "Do you trust Commander Root then?"

"Well obviously," scowled Holly.

"And if I'm not being too presumptuous, I would guess that you also trust _me_, right?"

It was all psychology to Artemis, really. After all, elves were reasonable creatures, and he knew that if he worded things just right, Holly would come around. It _was_ a good plan- or at least _he_ thought so.

"It has nothing to do with that, and you know it!" replied the elf crossly, "The last bit of the plan just doesn't sound safe. We don't even know who the transporter is!"

"The Commander assured me that she is a capable driver and won't ask questions. That's all we need, really."

"_She_?" asked Holly, tilting her head a little.

Artemis gave her an amused smile.

"Come now Holly, _you_ of all people should not act so surprised at the role being filled by a woman…" jabbed the boy.

The elf gave him a sour look.

"I just thought that if it's anyone, it'd be that military driver from back in Ireland."

"As a matter of fact, no," replied Artemis, "Sergeant Desmarais is just getting us started. As a matter of fact, he's already been briefed and will be waiting for us aboveground bright and early tomorrow morning."

Though he probably wouldn't admit it, Artemis didn't quite feel as comfortable with the plan as he thought he would. Still, he didn't show it. Better to not rely on hunches than to make everyone else nervous.

Holly didn't have any more objections, so Artemis took it as confirmation that he could go ahead.

He sighed dramatically.

"I suppose it's time I served my time for all those terrible things I did in the past."

The captain rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, sure. Like that's ever going to happen."

Only Holly knew though, how sincerely she truly did hope that it never happened.

* * *

**Dark Peak, Derbyshire, England- morning**

Artemis did not look nearly as presentable as he wanted to as he and Holly stepped through an old holographic boulder near the bottom of a cliff face. His suit had gotten even more crinkled over the last day, and he had yet to figure out how to use the clothes iron. Holly had long thrown away the instructions to the device, and Artemis absolutely refused to ask the elfin captain for help. He rationalized it by thinking to himself that he had much more important things to worry about than figuring out how to use the blasted contraption.

'_When this whole thing is over,' _thought Fowl as he unsuccessfully pulled at his shirt to smooth it out, _'I am definitely going to do some research on it.'_

The pair walked for just a short distance along a thin, almost non-existent trail before they saw- as promised- a dark green Humvee idling next to a similarly colored shrub.

Holly walked towards it at a rather brisk pace, much faster than Artemis (though she was toting a large black duffle), and occasionally giving the lagging boy annoyed glances. Elves _were_ more irritable under direct sunlight, after all.

As they approached, a door in the front opened up and a tall man raised his hand in greeting. It was the same Henri Desmarais who had taken custody of the pair back in Dublin, but this time, they actually shook hands when they met.

They got into the car willingly this time.

Though it was similar in build to the Hummer, the inside of this car was a lot less luxurious than the civilian model. The seats could only barely be called cushioned, and the windows were much smaller than any car Artemis was used to.

"Artemis Fowl the Second," laughed the sergeant in his accented drawl as he helped the boy and the elf into vehicle, "imagine that!"

Henri shut the doors in the back and stepped into the driver's seat. He stared at his passengers through the rearview mirror as he sat down and started the car.

"You know, I have a friend in Interpol who's been trying to get enough evidence for a case against your counterpart for a long time now. She's convinced he's the head of some giant international crime ring, but her whole department thinks she's crazy."

"She's not _that_ crazy," muttered Holly as the car started with a dull roar.

"I'm sorry, what was that?" asked the man.

"I'm not the Artemis Fowl of this world," cut in Artemis before Holly could answer, "criminal or not, he's not me and I'm not him."

"Well, Julius says he trusts you and I trust Julius, so you're alright by me," answered Henri, "…just ah… don't tell him I called him Julius."

The two in the back nodded.

"Now then," continued the sergeant casually, "off to prison, shall we?"

* * *

"Iris cam?"

"Already on." Artemis blinked back at Holly with a pair of hazel eyes.

"Throat mike?"

"Already on."

"Earpiece?"

"Really, Holly, you saw me put these on before we left Haven…"

"I'm LEP, Arty, we check our equipment before going into the field," replied the elf, crossing her arms.

The boy sighed.

"Earpiece?" asked Holly again.

"So much for being the rebellious female captain," muttered Artemis.

"Do you have it or not?!" snapped the elf.

"Yes, yes, yes!" replied Fowl quickly, pulling an ear forward to reveal a tiny, skin-colored dot stuck onto the back.

It was one of the inventions that Foaly had designed in this world purely out of necessity. With so many of the LEP's aboveground missions now involving undercover Humanes (who obviously would not be wearing regulation LEP helmets), this less noticeable method of communication had to be created. It didn't have nearly the range of the helmets, and communication from Haven to the surface wasn't possible with them, but that was fine with Artemis.

"Last thing then," said Holly, putting out what looked like a small pen-holder.

When she opened it though, there was no pen inside.

Artemis couldn't help but chuckle at it.

It was a finger. And not one of those rubbery, over-crinkled ones they sold in joke shops either. This one really looked like well… a finger.

"Commander Root really brought this into the negotiations at the Manor that time huh?"

Holly shrugged.

"So says the debriefing report. He eventually used it on that traitor Cudgeon though."

Artemis took the device and gingerly slipped it onto his ring finger.

"Single shot, right?"

Holly nodded.

"Twelve hour sedative," she replied, "just point and pinch the knuckle. And _don't_ forget you're wearing it, we've had enough accidents with it back in the day."

The boy smiled.

"I won't forget. If all goes well, this will be entirely unnecessary."

"Still, Master Fowl," said Henri, not taking his eyes off the road, where Strangeroads prison was appearing already as a squat dark shape in the distance, "it is far better to be over prepared than under prepared."

"One last thing then," said Holly, pulling out a pair of handcuffs.

Artemis frowned when he saw it.

"Don't look at me like that," said the elf, expertly cuffing one end to the door handle, "it was _your _idea."

"For effect," sighed Artemis, "yes, I know."

"Good," replied Holly, "then give me your wrist."

* * *

As the car neared the first gate to Strangeroads, Artemis turned to Holly to warn her to shield. But when he did, the seat next to him was already empty.

"Don't gawk Arty, I'm still here," came the elf's voice from the empty space, though her voice seemed to be much closer than if she had been speaking while in her seat.

Fowl nodded stiffly and turned back to look out the front of the car, where a security booth stood off to one side of the road. He said nothing as Henri stopped the car and identified himself to the guard, who took a few seconds to scan a piece of paper the sergeant handed to him before letting the car pass.

"Ready Holly?" asked Artemis in a low voice as they approached the building.

"Not really, but I won't be getting any more ready than I am now," replied the elf.

"You'll do fine, Holly."

The captain chuckled dryly.

"You're one to talk. You're as white as a sheet."

"That's my _normal _complexion," scowled Artemis.

The elf laughed next to his ear again. Artemis thought it was a better sound than before- warmer, if he could call it that, though there was still a noticeably nervous edge to it.

"I'll keep an eye on you," she whispered.

"Just make sure to get Trouble out," replied the boy.

"And _you_ make sure to keep yourself safe," retorted Holly.

The car stopped and Henri gave Artemis a long look.

"Bonne chance_,_ Master Fowl, Captain Short. Let's hope to see you and your friends on this side of the prison walls soon, eh?"

He opened the door and stepped out, circling around to open the door on the boy's side- where his wrist was still handcuffed for the benefit of anyone who might have been watching them.

Right before the sergeant reached the door, Artemis felt something that seemed like a woodpecker poking at his cheek. It wasn't sharp at all, though, and was very soft, even as it seemed to vibrate against him for just a second, almost like a tingling on his skin.

He stiffened for a moment, but then the feeling was already gone and the door was open.

* * *

The tiny, dark shape in the distance looked quite a bit more imposing when Artemis Fowl was standing in front of it. Naturally, he was in handcuffs again, but this time, he was being led roughly into the building by Sergeant Desmarais.

"This is an absolute outrage!" cried Artemis as they passed by the prison's security guards, who checked the army officer's identification quickly before waving him and the complaining boy in, "What the hell happened to due process? I demand that my lawyer be brought here at once!"

"EU wartime clause, boy," answered the man gruffly, "and that includes shipping you off to England. Have fun trying to find a lawyer through that one."

"Picked up another Irishman, Sarge?" asked a pudgy-looking prison warden sitting behind a long desk.

"Dubliner," Henri smiled convincingly, "got caught by the city police aiding an elf and carrying a fairy firearm. Missed the fairy, but they still got _him_."

The Englishman tsked at Artemis as he turned to a computer on his desk.

"Did you think you were going to catch a leprechaun and get his gold, kid?" he laughed, "You crazy Irish folk and your fairies."

Artemis bit his tongue and had to consciously control his expression. The man had no idea how right he was.

"Now, your name," ordered the warden.

Artemis stayed silent, throwing the man a cold look.

"Your name," he repeated.

"I want to see my lawyer," said Artemis firmly.

"His name is Sean Ackart," said Henri, fishing a passport from a plastic bag in his pocket, "He was carrying that with him when the police found him. The information in it checks out."

The warden flipped to the back of the passport and typed in the information with a smirk on his face.

"Really, if you're going to be a criminal and side with the fairies, the least you could do is be smart about it…"

* * *

In the Humvee, Holly took a long breath of filtered air from her helmet and muted the audio from Artemis' end. A small, translucent display at the corner of her visor still showed what the boy saw though.

She waited for another fifteen minutes before quietly looking both ways on the lot and making sure no one was there. Holly gently opened the door of the car and alighted carefully onto the asphalt. She didn't risk the noise of fully shutting the door, instead leaving it just mostly closed. Hopefully nobody would be stupid enough to try to steal a Humvee from a prison parking lot.

Holly eased the thumb pads in her palms lightly and felt the wings on her back hum to life and lift her slowly until she was several feet above the car. She panned her vision left and right, and the helmet's computer quickly matched up the buildings she saw with the three dimensional floor plans Artemis had created. A light blue wire mesh now placed itself onto the landscape in the captain's vision, and a red dot pulsed gently on her display, matching up with a guard tower.

The elf kicked her legs back automatically and set off to the tower.

* * *

**A/N:** We're finally getting somewhere!


	20. Fish Tank

**A/N**: Happy Christmas everybody! A new chapter is going to be my present to you (one more present is at the end of this chapter). Also, yes, they actually do call them fish.

* * *

**Artemis Fowl: The Book of Ages**

Fish Tank

* * *

**Strangeroads Prison Facility, Derbyshire, England**

Holly Short was currently perched- shielded- on the edge of one of the main building's many walls, her legs dangling over the side. Some fifteen feet below her on a lower section of the roof, a large slanted window showed a group of prisoners in what she assumed was a recreation hall. From what she could see, a few were gathered around an old television set, cheering at something that was going on, while others were playing a game that involved poking colored balls around a green table with long sticks.

She didn't have the time to really see how it worked- though it didn't look particularly fun.

Instead, the elf focused her vision on a slight metal protrusion on a guard tower to her right, identical to protrusions on the tower to her left and the one right in front. According to Artemis, each contained a pair of security cameras: one wide-angle fisheye for maximum coverage of the roof, and the other, a normal-lens camera pointed at the general area of the window and the surrounding few feet. Both were of the cinema variety, with capture rates well into thousands of frames per second.

This kind of camera _used_ to be famous mainly in the film industry. Now they were more well-known for their ability to see through a fairy shield. It was positively creepy to Holly how every secure location in the world now had defenses just as strong- if not stronger than- Fowl Manor's was against fairies several years ago in her own world.

'_Still,'_ thought Holly, smiling a little despite herself, _'Artemis practically wrote the book on defeating the People's technology when he was just twelve. Now, beating his own system…'_ she chuckled quietly to herself, _'I never thought I'd see the day.'_

The spot where the elfin captain was sitting was one of the few places that her helmet computer identified as being safe from the watch of the various cameras. But staying here wasn't much of an option.

She needed to get _to_ one of the camera mounts.

Holly opened a channel to Haven. A translucent overlay of a messy, poorly-lit room reminiscent of a shuttle garage opened up on her visor with a demure _ding_ sound.

"Foaly, you there?" asked the elf uncertainly, quickly reminding herself that she shouldn't have expected to see the chrome computer banks and plasma screens of Ops Booth when she contacted the centaur.

A bang emitted from Foaly's end off screen and a surprised "ow!" came after, followed by metallic clinking. The centaur appeared on camera a moment later, rubbing a spot on his head where the aluminum foil hat featured a rather deep dent.

"Oh, hey Holly," greeted the technician with a grimace of pain, "you're early."

Holly raised an eyebrow.

"What happened to you?"

"Oh, nothing," said Foaly, glancing sourly at something off screen, "the navigation system on Grub's cruiser got fried by a power surge on the road strips. I was just trying to fix the stupid thing…" He tapped a few keys on a keyboard in front of him and looked back at Holly in surprise. "Wow, the Mud Boy's in already? I wish Howler's Peak had processing times this fast. Well, actually, maybe now it does, considering the Mud Men control that sector."

"Focus, Foaly," warned the elf, panning her view towards the nearest camera housing, "take a look at my visual feed for a second will you?"

"Eh?" replied the centaur, "Hm, let's see here… yeah, I think Fowl's right about the cameras."

"So you think it'll work?"

"Probably, _'we have the technology…'_" said Foaly in a dramatic tone, "or, I suppose," he switched back his normal voice, "technically, _you_ have the technology."

"Probably?" asked Holly, "You said yes just yesterday!"

Foaly shrugged, "I mean- we tested it with your helmet's shield-filtering camera, so I don't see why it wouldn't work. Human technology hasn't advanced _that_ much yet. And plus, your suit was never invented in our world, so there's no reason to suspect that they'll be ready for it."

"Well, _you_ invented it," Holly shot back, "and _you_ patched the cam-material on the suit."

The centaur puffed his chest up a little. "Then it'll work," he said, "and I'll be standing by to check the security systems once you're in."

Holly sighed and shook her head.

"Here's to hoping."

She thumbed the voice-control button of her suit and spoke in a clear voice.

"Activate Shimmer."

And she stepped into the path of the camera.

The idea wasn't actually all that complex. An ordinary camera could defeat Foaly's cam-foil technology, showing a camouflaged being as if they were hiding behind a projector screen. A cinema-level camera could see through both that and a fairy shield when its frames were slowed down enough.

But the Shimmer Suit went beyond cam-foil technology. It mimicked a fairy's shields so that she only needed to use them momentarily to get the suit to the right frequency before it took over and vibrated more or less for her. It still wouldn't fool the cine-cams though.

So they had added cam-foils and a bit of extra magic.

To be a tad more precise, Foaly patched the outside of Holly's suit with a piece of cam-foil from her equipment pack and hooked it up to the suit's Shimmer system. And even though according to procedure, Holly was supposed to stop applying her own magic to shielding after the suit started up, she didn't.

Right about now, her body was vibrating at about twice the frequency of a normal shield (not a terribly healthy thing to be doing), _and_ it was camouflaged beneath the vibrations. At best, the security cameras would see an indistinct blur- similar to a heat haze- if the recordings were frozen and observed very carefully.

In theory.

A warning tone sounded in the captain's ears.

"Better hurry up Holly," said Foaly urgently, "cam-foil's not made for this suit. At the rate you're shaking, it's going to shred itself to pieces in about a minute or so."

"D-d-d-d-oo y-y-you th-think I-I-I'm t-try-y-y-ing t-to b-b-beee s-s-sl-slow h-here?" muttered the elf, her voice quivering as her body did. Elves were adapted to shielding, but not _this_ kind of shielding.

Holly clenched her chattering teeth together and pushed for one last boost from her wings, and landed roughly against the wall under a camera mount- a blind spot.

She squeezed her eyes shut and pulled in her magic. Her body stopped contributing to the vibrations.

"Stop Shimmer," she ordered.

A vaguely elf-shaped blur appeared against the wall, with multiple spots showing sputtering grey circuitry. Something smelled like it was burning.

"Good job Holly," congratulated Foaly from his makeshift lab, "though, uh, seventy percent of the foil's circuits are fried, so there's no more trying _that_ again."

"Just tell me how to get into the box," snapped the elf, panting after the magical and physical exertion.

"Pan your camera up so I can see it," replied Foaly.

Holly looked up at the metal casing, and saw the centaur staring intently into his computer on the image on her visor.

"Sealed casing," said the centaur, "use your Neutrino-low setting- and cut around the inside edge."

Holly flicked her weapon to the appropriate level and held it close against the metal. She had to hold both hands tightly as the beam slowly chewed away the case- her hands were still a bit twitchy from the double-shield.

Within seconds, a section of the metal peeled away to reveal the wiring beneath.

"Now just wind the video clip into the wiring and hook it up to your computer," said Foaly, "it'll send the signal down here so I can work with it. The new security cameras in all the English prisons are wired directly into central prison security, so I may have some access to a few other systems once we're in."

Holly holstered her gun and opened a small black pack on her belt, pulling out a thin, clear clip with gold fibers running through it. She pressed it into the camera's wires and squeezed them together before turning back to her pack. The only other item in there beeped once and flashed a blue light.

The C Cube just made the connection.

Miles under the surface of the Earth, Foaly grinned and rubbed his hands together.

This was going to be fun.

* * *

Artemis Fowl was a fish. And he was currently in a fish tank.

Or, at least that was what the prison population called it. Actually, they called _all_ new inmates fish for some odd reason. Apparently, it was the sort of thing people in prisons made up when they had spare time and obviously, they had a lot of spare time. From this, it was almost understandable that the temporary holding cells for newcomers were called fish tanks.

Despite being a long-time criminal, Artemis was rather new at the whole prison thing. He wasn't sure whether he was supposed to feel insulted or amused.

But sitting as he was on a hard green bed and facing what little was between him and the metal bars of his cell, Artemis knew that this was probably one of the better periods since he had entered Strangeroads. He knew the procedure for new inmates- he'd looked it up as part of planning for this mission.

Still, reading about being registered, strip-searched, and cleaned with a disinfectant spray (while unclothed) was _very_ different from going through it. More than once during that time, Artemis wondered why he didn't come up with a less humiliating plan. Suddenly his experience of being searched at the Spiro Needle several years ago seemed almost enjoyable.

But as thorough as the strip search was at embarrassing Artemis, it was far less effective in locating the items that he needed to smuggle into the prison. None of them were found.

Right now, he didn't exactly look like your stereotypical young delinquent, but certainly he looked less like the genius son of a multi-millionaire than he ever had. Gone was his Armani suit and loafers, replaced with a bright orange shirt, matching pants and floppy white sneakers. Fluorescent orange did not become of Artemis Fowl very much- it probably had something to do with making his pale face and arms look rather sickly.

He was idly flicking his passport between both hands, casually observing the forged document. Every time he saw an error that might have tipped off a customs official to the forgery, he winced a little. That happened twelve times in the past ten minutes. There wasn't much he could do about it though- it was a rushed job after all. It was a good thing prison officials weren't as discerning about such matters.

It would have been for his benefit if that was all that was going on in his cell, because then he could think properly. But it _was_ a prison after all. And being in the fish tank, Artemis had to deal with seeing and hearing (rather loudly) just about three kinds of prisoners beyond the bars of his cell: the depressed, the angry, and the professional. It was the last kind that interested him the most- maybe because he would probably fit well into that category too, once upon a time.

This was the kind of men (for, yes, it _was_ almost entirely men) to whom crime was a way of life, and it was something they embraced more than they were ashamed of. Few of them would ever be referred to as much more than enforcers or thieves- or as Jon Spiro once called them, metal men and monkeys. When these men walked in, they did so rather casually, and seemed to immediately strike up conversation with the other fish, like they already knew each other. Given the hidden connections between criminal networks, Artemis was not particularly surprised.

The prisoners weren't very quiet about it, and Artemis- taking long, exasperated sighs every few minutes- was forced to listen to their seemingly endless conversation.

'_Too bad they're mostly just low-level criminals,' _thought Artemis, _'it actually might have been interesting to listen to if they were connected to any of the important crime families…'_

Instead, he had to listen to a rather boisterous conversation in front of him. It came in the form of two men who were sitting back to back with a wall between them in the two cells in right front of Artemis. They looked to be about the same height, though one was clearly skinnier than the other and had oily-looking black hair in contrast to the other man's cropped blond locks. The boy knew that the black-haired one was a newer inmate who had just arrived, as he had been just a few spots in front of the man on the line for orange prison uniforms. By the way the two talked, it was obvious that they knew each other.

"…I swear, Murmansk is completely crazy now!" said the newcomer loudly in accented English, "First it was Kamar and Vassikin back wit' the submarine thing- you know Vassikin?"

"No, I don't know him," replied the other man in a seemingly more somber tone, "but I know Kamar. But yeah, go on."

"So, they was telling me before they got, you know," the man made a loud clicking noise with his tongue, which made the blond grimace for a moment, "that all their associates go disappearin'. Then, like six months later, Kamar suddenly asks me if I know anyone in America, says he wants to get out of Russia, he sound damn scared that time 'cause that was back when Vassikin get killed. And I tell him I know a guy, but after that day, Kamar never contacts me again! The guy I gave him says he was never even told Kamar was move to Miami."

The blond whistled quietly and ran his fingers through his hair.

"You think he's…"

The first man nodded his head emphatically, which almost seemed comical to Artemis, since the two couldn't even see each other.

"No, I'm _sure_, he's gone. Has to be, 'cause the other day, I find out the _policii_ round up a whole bunch of _khuligany_. That's not even the worst part! They find Britva dead- two shots to the neck and choking on his blood in his own apartment!"

"_Britva_!?" cried the blond, looking quite dismayed at the imagery, "Shit, you're right, if he's dead, Murmansk is going to be a hellhole."

The dark-haired man laughed bitterly. "I almost feel sorry for the _policii_. New turf wars are going to be very messy…"

"Is _Cosa Nostra _sending people in?"

The man stopped laughing immediately and suddenly gained a look of deep fear on his face. He looked outside his cell and past the doors and bars across the hall, glaring momentarily at Artemis before moving to put his head very close to the bars next to the wall that the blond man sat against.

"_Duračok_! How should I know?!" he said in a heated whisper, "Don't speak of _Cosa Nostra_ in here!"

* * *

Artemis was given a brief break from some of the chatter a while later, when some of the other inmates had their turn to eat lunch in the cafeteria. It was time for him to get ready then. Unbeknownst to the guards and wardens, Artemis had actually hacked into the prison's scheduling system while planning this particular venture. It was a simple matter then, to hide a program in the database that would automatically assign him a schedule once the name Sean Ackart was entered- a schedule that _he_ chose, of course.

He took a ballpoint pen and a sheet of white paper from the drawer in the desk of his cell and began writing in a neat, curving longhand.

The conversation he heard from before was bothering him though, and he silently turned over the words in his mind as he wrote.

Why would the _Cosa Nostra_ bother with Murmansk? Wasn't there already a family there? It didn't help that Artemis seemed to vaguely remember at least one of the names the men mentioned from his own trip to Murmansk.

* * *

Artemis Fowl sat alone during lunch. This was not terribly unusual for the Irish teen. The unusual part was how the people in the cafeteria behaved.

Technically, there was no segregation between fairies and humans in the room, but there was a clear line of separation. Humans sat on one side- the side with the windows, fairies sat on the other- the side without. No one crossed the invisible, unspoken boundary.

One might have wondered why, given their magic, the fairies didn't simply _mesmerize_ every last human in the place and get out. Though it wasn't exactly public information, Artemis knew. He felt sick when he first found out. He didn't tell Holly, but she would probably find out sooner or later. Artemis hoped she wouldn't.

The problem with imprisoning any member of the Eight Families was that their abilities made holding more than a few of them at a time an amazingly complex affair. Those without any magical training could heal at a hyper-accelerated rate, become invisible, _mesmerize_, and in the case of sprites, fly, or in the case of goblins, throw fireballs. That was not even to speak of any who _did_ have training.

So at the time of incarceration, each and every fairy had their magic bled out of them. Metaphorically- but it was close enough. They called the method 'leeching'.

A precise wound would be produced- usually by the prick of a needle- and the rate at which a fairy's magic healed it would be measured, giving an approximation of how much magic it had. Healing of oneself is an unconscious reflex in the People, and could rarely ever be controlled. After that, a toxin would be injected into the fairy's system, forcing the body to constantly expend magic to eject it. How much magic the fairy had originally determined the potency of the toxin that would be used.

This would continue until the creature couldn't heal itself anymore.

_Then_ it would get put in prison. There might have been a few fairies that had trace amounts of magic left, but it wouldn't be enough to do anything.

There was one exception though- goblins. The amount of magic they needed to create fireballs was so small (much smaller than any other magical ability they could perform) that the leeching couldn't rid them of that ability without killing them. Hence, incarcerated goblins were always kept separate from the other prisoners in fireproofed sections of the facility.

Needless to say, the experimentation required to achieve such precision in methodology had cost a lot of time- and many lives.

This was the first time Artemis had seen any fairies since he had entered the prison, and in truth, the sight was much harder for him than he had expected. So many of them- the elves in particular- looked so very much like a prisoner Artemis once held in his own house. They had the same gaunt, defeated expression Holly Short had when she first woke up in Fowl Manor.

Artemis lost any appetite he had- which wasn't much to begin with. The toasted roast beef sandwich in front of him (which probably disgusted the majority of the fairies, who were mostly vegetarians) smelled much less appealing than it might have at another time, despite the fact that this was the first 'real' food Artemis was presented with after three days of algae slurry and old energy bars.

Instead of eating, Artemis was scanning the fairy side of the room. He found who he was looking for in under a minute. He changed seats to sit closer to the middle of the room and stared intently at Commander Trouble Kelp, waiting. This was, of course, why he needed to ensure he had a specific lunch shift in prison.

Artemis pressed his napkin over his mouth, as if he was wiping it, but instead, whispered quietly into his throat mike.

"Holly, I've got contact," he glanced at the large clock on the wall before turning his gaze- and his iris cam- back onto the Commander, "You have fifty minutes until this lunch shift ends."

He hoped that would be enough.

But it was at this moment that Trouble noticed who was looking at him. The elf's eyes widened and his blinked a few times, as if making sure he was seeing who he thought he was. Then, he looked around him quickly before gradually getting up.

Artemis shook his head slowly and placed a single finger on his lips. Then he reached under his shirt and pulled out from his waistband the small slip of paper he had brought with him from his cell (prison clothes didn't come with pockets, apparently). He held it tightly in one palm and quickly threw his napkin on his untouched sandwich, took a last sip from his cup, and moved to throw out the food.

The garbage bins were all stationed in the middle of the room, along the division between the fairy and human sides. Artemis walked over and dumped the contents of his tray into the nearest bin, inconspicuously folding the paper against the rim so that it hung on the edge without falling in. He caught Trouble's eye and nodded towards the bin before moving off to give the tray back to the kitchen.

* * *

"I found your demon friend," said Foaly triumphantly.

"Where is he?" asked Holly, who, abruptly stopped her airborne circling of the prison to just hover and listen.

"Segregation section of the prison- the eastern wing. He's in unit HMP0075, it's at the end of a T-junction inside the building about five hundred feet towards your two-o'clock direction," he paused and Holly saw him punch something into his computer, "There, I marked it for you on the helmet-cam, not that you'll need it yet."

A new voice popped up on the elf's communicator.

"_Holly, I've got contact," _came Artemis' voice, _"You have fifty minutes until this lunch shift ends."_

"Hold that thought," she said the to centaur, "Artemis is going to lunch, that means it's time for me to-"

"Uh, Holly…" said Foaly suddenly. His expression was one of open shock on Holly's visor as he appeared to be looking at a side screen on his end.

"What is it?" asked Holly.

The technician seemed to take a moment before he snap himself out of his daze. Then he turned and looked directly at Holly.

"You won't believe what else I found."

* * *

Commander Trouble Kelp was a law-abiding fairy. One did not become Commander of the Lower Elements Police without being one. He had been to quite a few prisons in his time, testified in court, booked people in Police Plaza, the whole deal. But that was all underground. Being here in Strangeroads, aboveground, with humans not twenty feet away, and _not_ being shielded was not something he ever imagined doing.

Then again, he was doing a lot of previously implausible things lately.

He had been more or less resigned to spending years, or decades (he hoped it wasn't centuries) in this English prison ever since about a week after he was first caught with N°1 in the Netherlands trying to fly south into Belgium.

He was expecting to never see Holly and Artemis again, much less his own world.

But here was Artemis Fowl, slowly walking away from him after leaving a tiny piece of paper on the rim of a garbage bin. This was not Artemis Fowl giving up. Trouble knew something was afoot. And if he knew Fowl, then Fowl had a plan.

He stuffed the rest of his salad in his mouth and gulped down his juice in one breath. Then he turned to throw out the plastic fork and his napkin.

He grabbed the note.

Trouble made it back to his seat just a few seconds after Artemis did, and- keeping the piece of paper well beneath the table- he began reading.

"_Commander, it is nice to see you again. I shall be brief. All is well. Please do not go out into the courtyard today or, if necessary, tomorrow. Also, please stay for the entire lunch shift- do not go back to your cell yet. You will know what I mean. Our mutual friend is currently making preparations. –AF__"_

The commander crumpled up the piece of paper and quickly put it into his mouth, trying to swallow without tasting. He looked towards Fowl and gave a tiny ghost of a smile. He nodded once.

Trouble Kelp was in. The plan was moving along.

* * *

**A/N:** Hope you liked your gift! Here's the other thing I mentioned: a small preview of a future chapter. Names and identifying characteristics have been removed to keep you guessing, and the selection is subject to change, though I strongly doubt it will be changed in any way except for the insertion of the aforementioned things.

Enjoy!

* * *

Special Preview:

**Aboard a Learjet 60, 45,000 feet above sea level  
**

"What do you know about Artemis Fowl?" asked the boy carefully.

The woman across from him paused for a moment before answering, as if silently composing her response.

"A brilliant inventor, head of his own energy company, son of the European crime lord, Artemis Fowl the First…"

Artemis bristled slightly at that, but consciously stopped himself from expressing too much.

"… though Junior hardly has any criminal connections- at least, none that anyone can trace back to him. I met him once- at an art exhibition in Madrid. He knew much more about art than I expected from a person in his position."

"What happened to his father?" asked Fowl, trying to keep tone within the range of detached curiosity.

"Well, at least we know _you're _not trying to impersonate Fowl," she smirked, "But really, what rock have you been living under? Any idiot knows the story of Artemis Fowl the First."

"Let's assume I've been living under a particularly large and… media-proof rock…" responded Artemis softly.

The woman shrugged. "Kidnapped during a business venture in Russia; Mafiya job- very nasty."

_'No surprise there…' _thought Artemis.

"Artemis Junior actually mounted his own rescue mission," continued the woman, "managed to get pretty close too, once he gave half the ransom. But then the Russians panicked at the last minute, shot Fowl Senior and ran with what they already got. Nobody ever recovered the man's body. It fell into the Bay of Kola and… well, I guess it's gone by now. The bay was about as radioactive the old-style fission chambers and nobody was stupid enough to try to recover anything from that nuclear cesspool."


	21. Artemis the Phreak

**A/N:** No, I don't mean freak.

* * *

**Artemis Fowl: The Book of Ages**

Artemis the Phreak

* * *

**Strangeroads Prison Facility, Derbyshire, England**

"What are you going to do about… _her_?" asked Foaly hesitantly.

Holly almost laughed at the absurdity of the question, but quickly regained her composure. She didn't stop her flight towards the back end of the prison though. A few seconds passed before she actually answered.

"I… don't know," said the elf quietly, staring past Foaly's image on her visor to the quickly-passing dark ground below, "_is_ there anything we can do?"

"Well you can't just _leave_ her in there can you?" asked the centaur with concern in his tone.

"You don't know Artemis' plans like I do," Holly replied, "they're… brilliant… but they're only so flexible. If you throw in something like this… it may ruin it."

"You know, you could always just _ask_ the Mud Boy," reasoned Foaly.

The captain slowed her flight and quickly dropped down to the ground, cutting power to her wings a few feet up and landing softly on the dark asphalt. Right in front of her was a steel case mounted high on the wall. It had a small Plexiglas window on it and a pair of thick wires extended from the bottom of it, running towards the ground. It was an electrical control unit for the prison- one of at least half a dozen.

"Not now," Holly said into her communicator. She unhooked her wings and opened the small bag attached under the nuclear battery. She pulled out a thick black hexagonal box about the size of her hand. It felt a lot heavier than it looked though.

The captain reached up and placed the magnetized backing of the device against the control's case.

It didn't stick.

"Foaly!" she hissed into her microphone, "It's not holding!"

"Hmm," hummed the centaur as Holly watched him peer into the monitor on his end, "too much plastic I imagine. You could try melting the surface of the case and attaching it that way."

"Won't that cause a power surge?" asked Holly, gently setting the black device down onto the ground.

"Unlikely," answered Foaly, "the case is insulated and it's pretty thick. Just make sure you use a wide-angle, low-frequency setting on your Neutrino."

The captain nodded reflexively (though Foaly obviously couldn't see it), and pulled out her blaster, adjusting the settings with both thumbs before aiming it at the box on the wall.

She took a breath and steadied her hands, then fired.

The deep red pulse of the weakened beam splayed across the section of the wall, flowing towards the control unit almost like a liquid before dissipating into the plastic, metal, and surrounding concrete.

"And here I always thought Neutrinos were used for shooting _people_," muttered Holly as she held the weapon steady, carefully watching the cover of the box give way. She was glad her helmet had air filters right now- the smoke from the melting material looked like it smelled pretty awful.

"Stop," ordered the centaur.

Holly released the trigger and dropped the weapon, grabbing the hexagonal case and pressing it roughly against the control's melted, but quickly-hardening cover. As Foaly predicted, the cover didn't melt all the way through.

It stuck- crudely, and looking like it was glued on by a six-year old with a hot-glue gun and too much enthusiasm. But it stayed attached.

"Done," said the captain.

"Now for the west wing," added Foaly.

Holly looked at the timer on her helmet display.

Forty minutes left.

* * *

Holly Short had attached two other devices onto two more Strangeroads control units by the time her countdown display hit twenty-five minutes. Her bag was a lot lighter now, though it wasn't completely empty just yet.

Right now, she was hovering over a wide outdoor space set aside for inmate recreation and exercise. Needless to say, despite the fact that it was outdoors, it was surrounded by a thick, barb-wired wall on three sides and the cafeteria section of the prison on the fourth.

By Holly's count, there were no fewer than sixty human inmates, about half as many fairies, and a dozen guards in the courtyard. It was an overcast day, so there wasn't any direct sunlight, which meant there were more fairies out than usual. The relatively high inmate to guard ratio was probably due to the fact that only those inmates who had earned 'excellent behavior' ratings could come out. Naturally, it was a rating that sprites- the only species inside the prison which could fly- were never allowed to earn.

Though most of the people in the yard kept to themselves or only chatted with one or two others, there were actually two rather lively games going on before the elfin captain. One was a human game Holly had only vaguely heard of from the aboveground television stations, and the other, she had never seen before. The first she knew was called basketball; the other that she had no name for involved hitting a white ball back and forth over a tall net with one's arms.

That wasn't the surprising bit though. The surprising part was that while both games' players were mostly humans, there were actually a few fairies sprinkled on each of the four teams involved. Now, they didn't seem particularly good at what they were doing- height being an obvious issue- but the very idea of such an occurrence even being possible boggled Holly's mind.

"Foaly, are you getting this?" she asked in amazement.

"Getting what?" asked the centaur.

"This…" Holly repeated, panning her view around so her helmet's camera caught all that was going on.

From what she had seen from Artemis' iris cam of the situation inside the cafeteria, this looked like an entirely different place. Apparently, games were more effective at reducing social stigma than she could have imagined. Interaction that wasn't permissible in a lunch room seemed almost normal outside. It didn't go without notice, though, that many of the games' onlookers- human and fairy alike- didn't exactly seem to approve, with some expressing disapproval much more obviously than others.

"Sports?" asked Foaly, raising an eyebrow on the visor's image. Then he paused, "Oh… I get it," he chuckled softly, "you've never seen this before have you?"

Holly shook her head but then quickly muttered a "no," when she remembered that Foaly couldn't actually see her.

"It was never exactly _common_, but things like this _did_ happen back when we made first contact and suppressed the Haven rebellion with the help of the Mud Men." The centaur shrugged almost sadly. "I guess the only place it ever happens now is in prison. It helps that a few of the Mud Men down there are imprisoned Humanes, I suppose."

Holly blinked hard and shook her head quickly.

"Alright, let's do this…"

The elfin captain ripped the Velcro fastener from a pocket on her thigh and dipped her hand inside. It came out grasping three chrome spheres, each small enough so that all three together were just a large handful for her.

Holly glanced at the spheres and the humans below and felt almost sentimental. The last time she had used these was a _long_ time ago. It was a memorable night- though not in a good way. It had been in an Italian restaurant during a recon mission that caused the LEP's damage control team a month-long headache. That was also the night that had her ending up in a concrete cell in Fowl Manor.

This was not a good time to be reminiscing though.

"You've got the cameras right?" Holly asked as she began to rise higher above the courtyard.

"Of course," answered Foaly, seemingly quite pleased with himself, "I slowed down the frame rate of the six in your area to about fifty frames a second and replaced the missing frames with spliced copies of the images before and after. As far as shielding is concerned, these cameras are just as ineffective now as your average home video cam."

"You know, a simple 'yes' would have been enough…" muttered Holly, "Alright, I'm setting these for fifteen seconds with a five-second alarm."

Holly pressed a button on her helmet with her free hand and opened up the audio connection to Artemis. She switched it to 'send.'

"Arty, this is your twenty-second warning. Get ready."

She counted silently to five, and then thumbed the release on the spheres, throwing them off in separate directions before pushing her throttle to quickly ascend. She kept her eyes straight at the sky as she sped upward, though she was listening for the sounds to come from below.

She was not disappointed.

* * *

"_Arty, this is your twenty-second warning. Get ready."_

Artemis had been ready for a while now. He didn't really have much to do _but_ get ready for the last half hour or so. Sitting in a prison cafeteria when you didn't have an appetite really wasn't all that interesting, after all.

The wall separating this room from the courtyard was to his back, and the side of the cafeteria where the fairies stayed seated was in front of him, probably to avoid the sunlight that would come through the windows behind him on a sunnier day.

No matter what the reason, it still worked out in Artemis' favor.

He caught Commander Kelp's eye and waited until he heard a loud beeping sound coming from outside, muffled by the wall. He got up like most of the curious inmates were doing, but instead of turning to the windows, he raised a finger and pointed it at a spot on the wall right behind the commander.

Artemis watched as the confused elf swiveled his head around and looked for what it was the he had pointed to.

Then he closed his eyes.

_FLASH_

_BANG_

Though loud, the blast wasn't really the explosive kind that sent everyone to the floor.

Actually, aside from the sound and light, the building was completely unaffected- no shaking, no glass breaking, nothing. The flash also wasn't what you might have expected from a fireball, which was quite understandable, since there was no fireball. It was more the sort of light you saw during a thunderstorm, when you're indoors and lightning strikes close by, throwing everything in the room into a sharp dark and light contrast for a moment before quickly disappearing.

Of course, this particular kind of device wasn't for knocking down buildings- otherwise, there would have been _much_ stronger objections from everyone present as soon as someone brought up the idea of deploying them in an area full of people.

As it was, the three spheres that Holly Short had dropped onto the prison courtyard were designed to simply induce unconsciousness on anyone who happened to be looking at them when they went off- the alarms were simply to attract attention. The Recon teams called them- quite appropriately- flash-bangs. Though from his position, Commander Kelp was unlikely to have been affected, Artemis didn't want to take chances.

The boy opened his eyes.

All around him, people were slumped on the tables, in their seats and on the floor. The ones further away from the window were moaning lightly, but the people who had been closer to the windows were completely passed out and didn't make a sound. If this was the effect of the flash-bangs though several large windows, it was pretty safe to assume that everyone outside was knocked out. Well, everyone except one airborne elf.

But not everyone in this room was out cold.

"We're under attack!!" yelled a guard who was, rather obviously, quite conscious.

* * *

Holly Short landed in a crouching position on the concrete roof of the cafeteria building. She surveyed the scene before her with a quiet satisfaction. Inmates and guards alike were lying on the ground, unmoving. Some appeared to be in very uncomfortable positions. A basketball and the white ball that the elf had seen before rolled off aimlessly on the asphalt.

Directly underneath her, Holly heard loud shouting going on in the cafeteria. She opened the video feed from Artemis' end and watched with some relief as humans and fairies ran towards the back of the large room with paces that ranged from nervous to frantic. The fact that the iris cam's vantage point constantly shifted and was occasionally blocked by blinking let her know that Artemis hadn't been affected by the blast.

She looked on as Artemis watched one of the guards grab a medical kit from the wall and drop down by an unconscious inmate. The man grabbed a small flashlight from his pocket and looked to be examining the prisoner's eyes.

Then Artemis looked away.

"_Cut the power," _ordered the boy quietly, whispering into his mike so that his voice came out a bit raspy on Holly communicator.

She didn't need to respond. Instead, she thumbed the voice-activation on her helmet's computer and spoke in a clear voice.

"Activate EMP One."

* * *

The first electromagnetic bomb she had set nearly forty-five minutes ago went off.

Now, television would have you believe that when such a device is detonated, a bright blue shockwave would dramatically emit from the center of detonation (somehow, the shockwaves were always blue) and race outward in an expanding ring, causing electronics to spark, fizzle and die as they were hit.

The truth was considerably less dramatic. When the first EMP blew, all that happened was that the control unit it was mounted on gave off several loud popping noises before growing silent. The pulse didn't even affect anything past the control box. The activation also triggered a seal inside the device, which broke and mixed two rather volatile chemicals together, reacting to reduce the bomb into little more than a smoking pile of metal, but that was just Foaly's failsafe in case anyone found his technology, and had nothing to do with blowing out human electrical systems.

There _were_ EMPs in existence which made loud noises, looked pretty (or scary), and affected a large area when they activated, but fairies didn't use those. Humans did. Those were called nuclear warheads, and this wasn't one of them.

That wasn't to say it wasn't effective.

* * *

The electromagnetic pulse didn't immediately have an effect that was noticeable throughout the _entire_ prison. The visitors' center still operated more or less normally, and it was here in the relative calm that a pair of humans was just leaving Strangeroads.

"Thank you for your time and cooperation, Mr. Templeton," said Hunter, giving the man a thin smile.

Opal stood nearby, holding a large metal briefcase in both hands and looking a lot more restless than usual, though she seemed happy. Well, as close to happy as she could get. She kept on glancing at the waiting limousine parked just outside.

"It's been a-" began the prison supervisor, just to be cut off by a voice from the radio of a guard standing next to him.

"_Somebody get Director Templeton!" _said the garbled voice, _"There's been some sort of… explosion in the courtyard… inmates are unconscious… Power's been shut down in the D Block!"_

Templeton held a panicked expression on his face for just a second before he swallowed hard and grabbed the guard's radio. Holding it up to his mouth and roughly jabbing the switch, he spoke quickly, already beginning to head back to the prison's security center.

"What the hell do you mean 'there's been an explosion'!?" he asked through clenched teeth as he began walking rapidly away from Hunter and Opal, "Well, somebody get Manchester Police on the line!"

Hunter looked at the retreating man thoughtfully for a moment before turning to Opal.

"Go to the car and stay there," he said, glancing pointedly at her briefcase, "I'm going to see what I can do to help."

"Why bother?" hissed Opal, "It's probably just a malfunction and an overexcited guard."

Hunter smiled. "Even if that's the case, this is a very good opportunity to make a sales pitch for that security system I've been trying to get contracts for."

Opal rolled her eyes. "Fine, whatever, just get back quickly, I have work to do."

* * *

Artemis Fowl wasn't the kind of person who was easily pushed around. But he was being rather rudely pushed around right now. The ones doing the pushing couldn't really be blamed though- they had just seen most of the people in the room get knocked out and were trying to get away from whatever it was that was _clearly_ trying to hurt them.

The entire cafeteria's lights had shut down and the surrounding hallways were just as dark, leaving the only light being those from a few exit signs and a hall some distance away. The inmates ran like moths to a light bulb.

It was Trouble Kelp who made it by Artemis' side as the crowd pushed and shoved in the darkness. Always the professional, he dispensed with greetings and got straight to the point.

"How many men did you bring with you?" he whispered, the din of the crowd covering his words so that only Fowl could hear.

"Men?" asked Artemis, giving the commander a tight smile, "We have Holly somewhere outside with a pair of wings and a gun, if that's what you mean…"

Trouble gave him a look of disbelief and muttered something along the lines of "no tactical sense."

He huffed as they were pushed past the doors at the back of the room and into a crowded hallway where a few guards were unsuccessfully trying to guide the mass of humans and fairies.

"So what's the plan, Fowl?" asked Trouble.

* * *

"Activate EMP Two. Activate EMP Three." Holly looked with satisfaction as two more lights went dark on her helmet display- the other e-bombs had detonated and melted. The area with the solitary units had just lost power. So had the main security center. She switched off voice command and turned to Artemis' channel. "Arty, how are things going down there?"

"_I'm with the commander."_ Fowl said over what sounded like a large crowd of people, _"We're making our way to the segregation units now. We're near the hallway leading to it, and it looks like the power's gone out there too. Can you confirm that the security system is on backup power?"_

Foaly's image nodded at the captain. Obviously, he had been listening as well.

"They're on backup. Just tell me when to broadcast; I don't want to blow your eardrums out."

Artemis actually let out a short chuckle. _"Will do, captain."_

"Uh, Artemis… there's one more thing," began Holly hesitantly.

"_Yes?"_

"Um, well, you see, in the segregation section… um…" stammered the elf.

Foaly gave an exasperated whinny from his lab and grabbed a microphone on his end.

"_Fowl, can you hear me?"_ he asked quickly, interjecting into Holly's line.

"_Foaly? Yes, I can hear you."_

"_Listen to me carefully, Fowl."_ Holly saw the centaur close his eyes and rub his temples as he spoke slowly and clearly. _"Lieutenant Colonel… Holly Short is being held in solitary unit… HMP0079…" _there was a long pause before Foaly spoke again, _"can you get her out?"_

* * *

Artemis Fowl actually stopped running. He and Trouble were already in a darkened and deserted hall, some distance away from the general confusion of the veritable mob of inmates, guards, and newly arrived medics in the cafeteria and nearby hallways. The guards who usually patrolled this section of the prison were off helping control the inmates. They were probably glad to have something to do, really. Guarding the solitary section was probably the most boring job in the entire facility. After all, who could break out? And who could even _want_ to break in?

Trouble kept on running for a few seconds before he realized Artemis had stopped and doubled back.

"What is it?" asked the commander.

Artemis relayed Foaly's message.

Trouble stared at him for a full five seconds before slowly drawing a breath.

"Does it… _matter_ if we get her out?" he asked hesitantly, "I mean, if we complete the original mission…" he trailed off without finishing the sentence. But Artemis knew what he meant.

"No, it doesn't." Artemis answered with a frown.

Foaly heard the exchange and made a frightened noise. _"But you can't just ignore the fact that she's right there! Look Fowl, for whatever it means to you, Holly's not just another prisoner, she's my friend! Uh, no offense captain."_

"_No, I understand."_ Holly replied. There was a silence on the communicators for a moment before Holly spoke again. _"Arty, look- I know it's kind of weird coming from me… but if it were any other LEP officer, or heck, if it was any friend of mine, I'd say we try it."_

"_Please…" _added Foaly.

Artemis closed his eyes for a moment and sighed. "We'll… try it."

"But…" he added, cutting off Foaly's thanks, "I can't make any promises."

He and Trouble started running again. They had wasted enough time stalled in the halls.

"So?" asked the commander, who hadn't heard the whole conversation.

"We'll make it work," replied Fowl. "Holly, start making your way to our location, we're near the segregation units now."

"_Roger,"_ replied the elf. It sounded a bit strange saying it to Artemis though.

It took another five minutes before Trouble and Artemis reached a T-junction in the halls.

"Foaly, there are security cameras here," hissed Fowl.

"_Before you ask,"_ said the centaur, _"yes, they run on an independent power source and are working, but they can't be accessed right now because the monitoring station's lost power and yes, I already did what you were about to say. The hall was deserted except for you two so I'm just giving the cameras a running loop of the last three minutes. Not like it'll matter, the cameras can't see anything right now- it's too dark."_

Artemis headed immediately for a red telephone in a similarly colored case mounted on the wall.

"Artemis," called Trouble, tugging at the boy's prison shirt.

"Yes?" replied the boy without looking down.

"Look," said the commander.

Fowl turned away from the phone and followed Trouble's pointed finger to a door that was right behind him. Room 0079 was right there.

Artemis made a quick about-face and peered into the small steel-barred window. It was dark inside- the power to this entire section had been cut after all. There was little enough light in the halls, and Artemis couldn't see anything in the darkness he now looked into.

"Lieutenant Colonel?" he called out.

He thought he saw movement, but nobody answered.

"Holly, is that you?" he tried again.

Again, nobody answered.

Artemis shook his head at Trouble and whispered, "We'll deal with this later."

He moved back to the red telephone and unhooked the receiver.

That's when someone spoke up behind him.

"Yeah, I'm Holly," came a voice that sounded so much like the Holly Short that Artemis knew, but with a much harsher and embittered tone, "What's it to _you_, Mud Scum?"

Well, at least that much was clear now.

Artemis didn't respond though, he knew what he needed to know now. Instead, he spoke into his throat-mike.

"Hol- uh, captain," he said, "where are you?"

"_Still near the cafeteria Arty. I can't fly too fast or somebody's going to notice a draft from my wings. Give me another five minutes."_

"Fine," replied Artemis, "then I need you to play the sound file I prepared. Three one-second pulses, I'll tell you when to begin."

"_Alright, I'm opening the Red Box file now."_

Artemis slipped the sticky beige dot of a speaker from behind his ear and pressed it onto the red phone's speaking end. He dialed zero on the keypad.

"Begin," he whispered.

The beige speaker made three low, but shrill whistles.

Perhaps a bit of explanation would be helpful at this point.

Among the many things Artemis Fowl was known to be skilled at, computer hacking was certainly one of them. It was during this process of learning how to navigate the lesser-seen parts of computer networks when he was a child that he came across what was generally considered the predecessor to hacking: phreaking.

Instead of undermining computer and internet systems, phreaking served to take advantage of telephone systems. The art (if you could call it an art) relied mostly on utilizing specific frequencies of sound to override telephone switchboards which used to depend on such sounds for making the right connections. It wasn't legal, but back in its heyday, phreaking was most commonly used just to get free long-distance calls. Not exactly a threat to national security. But since the rise of digital telecommunications, phreaking became more or less a dead art.

It was too bad Strangeroads Prison was built well before the digital age. It was also too bad that the newfangled fairy-spotting security cameras took up enough money so that the phone lines were never upgraded.

English tax money hard at work: working harder in some places than in others.

It wouldn't have been too hard to guess what command the three whistles gave to the prison's central security system.

Artemis pulled the tiny speaker back from the receiver and stuck it back on his ear. He nodded to Trouble and they began to make their way to the end of the dark hall, to cell number 0075.

Seconds later, the first gate clicked open. Two soft red lights still glowed on the remaining door- one above a keyhole, the other above a number pad.

Artemis immediately punched in a long sequence of numbers. One light turned green.

Trouble gawked at the boy.

"How did you get the weekly code?" he whispered.

"I didn't." Fowl answered, "The weekly code is stored on a temporary memory chip embedded in this door. The chip needs a constant electrical current to keep it active, so when the power went out, the weekly passkey was deactivated. When backup power came on, nobody was here to reprogram to code, so it was switched back to the default number."

The boy smiled, "Only one company makes this kind of security system in Europe, and the default codes are easy to get if you know what to hack."

Trouble shook his head, though he wasn't sure if it was entirely in disapproval.

"And now," said Artemis, "we wait for Holly."

"She has the last key?" asked the commander.

Artemis nodded.

And now, they waited.

* * *

**A/N:** Phreaking is real (no, you probably can't break into prison with it in reality). Also, fun fact about phreaking- one of the most famous phreaks was an American who was named Joybubbles. That's his full and legal name. No, I'm not making it up.


	22. He, She, You and Me

**A/N:** Yeah, I know its been two weeks. Blame the lab work, studying for midyear exams, and lord of the land of fire for sucking me into the only crossover I've ever read which wasn't terribly cheesy (in fact, it was great). But enough of my pathetic excuses. Welcome to the new chapter.

* * *

**Artemis Fowl: The Book of Ages**

He, She, You and Me

**

* * *

Manchester Police Department, Emergency Response Center**

"Emergency, which service do you need?" asked a female dispatch officer with a calm that seemed characteristic of people who took emergency police calls.

"_Hello? This is Director James Templeton of Strangeroads Prison. There's been an explosion in one of our outdoor areas, there's a yard and a room full of unconscious people!"_ said a voice that seemed to be barely masking panic with professionalism.

"Alright, Director," replied the woman without changing her tone. She already began to type out a report on the computer in front of her with a rapid staccato tapping on the keys. Efficiency was a huge part of her job, after all. "About how many people are you talking about?"

"_I don't know,"_ said Templeton so quickly that it sounded like a single word, _"about a hundred, I think. Power's also gone out in some parts of the prison. Central control's out so I can't tell exactly where. There might still be bombs in here!"_

The dispatcher frowned. Normally, an evacuation would be in order, but that would be next to impossible for a prison.

"Please calm down, Director," she said, beginning to fire off several messages to various people in the department, "I'm requesting a bomb squad right now. Can you tell me where you are?"

"_Uh, I'm heading to the main security center, we've lost power here too though."_

"I understand Mr. Templeton. Please stay on the line. Help will be coming soon."

The dark-haired officer quickly printed off the call record and grabbed it from the laser printer just barely after it cleared the rubber rollers. She walked briskly out of the call center, nodding to her co-worker who immediately took over answering the lines.

"Chief!" she yelled, knocking rapidly at the same time at the man's office door.

The police chief opened the door. He was a short, gray-haired man with a frame that looked to be a bit more muscular than you'd expect from someone his age.

"What is it Swanson?" he asked in a gruff voice, his wary eyes darting to the paper the dispatcher held in her hands.

She detailed the report from Strangeroads and watched as her commanding officer gained an increasingly deep scowl on his face.

"Thanks for coming to me first," said the chief before he stepped around her quickly and started barking orders at the two officers at their desks. He turned back to face the dispatcher. "I'll cover the reinforcements; you contact the explosives guys and tell them to get their stuff together and head over to the prison. Then call up the hospitals. If it's a hundred inmates, we're probably going to need to bring in the reserve medics for this one."

* * *

**Manchester Volunteer Ambulance Service**

The center was currently in what many would call 'controlled chaos.' All six of this particular center's ambulances were currently being readied and boarded. There were, of course, more medics being sent out from other places in and around the city of Manchester, but this was all that this center could bring out.

"Alright people, let's move, move, move!" yelled the green-vested station head, apparently trying to look professional and overdoing it far too much. "I want you on the scene and I want you there _yesterday_!"

One of the newer medics peeked out from the passenger's side of an ambulance, lifting her cap slightly over her light blonde hair and giving the man an odd look.

"Does he always act that way?" she whispered to the driver.

The driver glanced out and chuckled.

"He's ex-army- failed the Special Ops test and came to work here instead. Half the time he thinks he's commanding a battalion or something."

The woman quickly reached behind her and pulled a bunch of hair together into a rough ponytail, stringing it through the back of her cap.

"Well," she remarked, looking straight forward at the slowly opening garage doors, "we wouldn't want to disappoint the good general now would we?"

**

* * *

Strangeroads Prison Facility, Central Security Booth**

"Report!" yelled one rather angry and anxious James Templeton as he barged his way into the darkened security booth, "How the hell did we lose power?"

A nervous-looking technician came forward shakily. "The control units that manage… uh, the electrical input-output for… uh, solitary, cafeteria, and security sections went down. We don't know why or how."

"Find out!" hissed Templeton, "That's what you're paid to do, isn't it?"

"But- but, sir, that's what we've been trying to do ever since-"

The prison director cut him off with a harsh look that was just barely visible by the light coming in from the unaffected hall.

"Damn, the press is going to _skewer_ me for this…" muttered Templeton, letting out a long, frustrated sigh.

A voice spoke up behind him.

"Maybe I can be of assistance."

The director whipped his head around and saw Hunter standing calmly by the lit doorway.

"What? I thought you left-"

Hunter ignored him and instead, walked into the room, turning to the technician.

"Apart from electrical control, are the systems themselves damaged?"

"Uh…" stammered the man, quickly switching his gaze back and forth between the newcomer and his boss, "I think they're alright, but uh, there's no way to be sure…"

Hunter looked back at the director. "Your prison is fine. All you need to do is redirect electrical control of your essential systems to the active control units. Use up the processing buffer space and as long as you don't have any irregular charges coming in from your electrical supply, you'll regain control of your important systems."

Templeton stared at the man for a good few seconds trying to look like he understood before turning to his technician.

"Is that true?"

"Uh, maybe… theoretically, you _could_ divert-"

"I _know_ what I'm talking about Mr. Templeton," said Hunter coldly, "I design high-risk targets in the national power supply and their defenses for a _living_. That _should_ qualify me as an expert in electrical and systems engineering."

The director gave him a hard look before finally walking past him out the door and into the hall.

"Follow me, sir."

**

* * *

Strangeroads Prison Facility, Segregation Section**

Holly Short had lost count of the number of times she had to maneuver over a crowd of humans inside a building with nothing but her wings on her back and her shields powered up. It wasn't a normal occurrence, even for a member of LEPRecon, but she would never be caught calling herself a normal LEP officer of any kind.

The fact that she was currently hovering not three feet over the heads of a mass of humans without vomiting her breakfast on them was also kind of ironic. Unlike, say, an airport or a factory, a prison was certainly considered a _dwelling_. The Book expressly forbade any fairy from entering a human dwelling without permission. That much was true, but if that was all there was to it, Holly would have lost the contents of her stomach (not to mention her magic) the moment she entered.

But Strangeroads Prison was not _just_ a human dwelling. It was also a fairy dwelling. Whether they knew it or not, the director of the prison had just given Holly- or any other fairy invader- a free pass to come and go as he or she pleased when the facility had been designated as one of the few aboveground prisons holding fairies. You can't lock people up if you didn't let them in, after all.

And thus, Holly sped undisturbed along the darkened halls of Strangeroads Prison, following a bright red trail marked for her on her helmet visor. Too easy.

She reached a junction in the hall and took a quick left. At the end of the hall, she saw a green boy and a green elf crouching by a green door. Night vision optics tended to do that to things.

Holly turned back once to make sure that the rest of the inmates and guards were a ways off before cutting power to her wings and landing with a slight patter on the concrete floor. She crept silently but in long strides as she approached the boy and the elf, un-shielding as she went.

"Any problems?" whispered the captain, glancing at Artemis and then at a broadly grinning Trouble Kelp.

"Not at all, Holly," answered Fowl, stepping aside so that she could see the locked gate.

"You two have _no idea_ how glad I am that you're here," added Trouble with more than a little relief in his voice, "How did you find out we were imprisoned?"

"Remind me to tell you later, Commander," said Holly hastily as she pulled out a small cloth bag. She unfurled it to reveal a standard LEP Omnitool and an extra battery with a length of wire running from the positive end. "You know Arty, lately I seem to be going along with way too many crazy ideas of yours than is healthy for me."

Artemis gave her what might have been one of his signature vampire smiles. She couldn't really tell though, because it looked a bit hazy through her night-vision. A smiling, green Artemis Fowl was something that tended to look a bit on the disturbing side.

"You should be fine," whispered the boy, nodding towards the hall, "I'm going to see what I can do about the Lieutenant."

Holly pressed her lips together tightly as she watched him go from the edge of her vision. Then, she turned back to her work, wrapping a short section of the wire around the metal end of the Omnitool and gingerly inserted it into the keyhole. The device hummed ever so slightly as it chose the right bit and automatically changed the key. Then the key slid in all the way.

The captain carefully pressed the other end of the exposed wiring to the negative plate of the battery. Immediately, she was very glad her gloves were rubber, for the now-electrified Omnitool suddenly let out tiny popping sounds and a few sparks from the point where the device joined the keyhole.

"Ugh," moaned Trouble, covering his nose with a shirt sleeve, "you might have warned me! What was that for?"

"Sorry Commander," replied Holly, who naturally couldn't smell the harsh odor of burning plastic and metal through her helmet filters, "The key's just a ruse. The lock is really held shut from a micro-sensor inside the keyhole, which I just fried."

As if on cue, the cell door swung open without a sound.

Holly turned off her night vision and powered up her helmet lights as Trouble eased the door back.

Nº1 was right there, sleeping soundly on the hard cot with a blanket covering his grey body.

Both elves rushed in, but the imp didn't stir from either the sound or the light.

"Nº1! Wake up!" whispered Trouble leaning over the imp and shaking him roughly. When he didn't move, the Commander grabbed the blanket and threw it back, uncovering the young fairy.

The veteran LEP officer stared for several long seconds. "D'Arvit…"

Holly didn't even say anything, not even a profanity. She just stared in horror.

What could one say to the sight they saw now?

Foaly's shocked voice came over Holly's audio connection to Haven.

"What happened…?"

Nº1 looked perfectly fine and completely uninjured for the most part. Except for one key thing: his right arm, from the elbow down was one big mass of stone, like an intricately carved replica of a demon forearm attached to the roughly cut stump of a real arm.

* * *

"What do you think _you're_ doing Mud Man?"

Artemis almost winced at the elf's tone. It was the same tone the Holly he knew used when he had first 'met' her. Only this voice had much more resentment and anger behind it.

"Holly," he replied, as calmly as he could, "I am a friend. I am trying to get you out of here, so please try to cooperate."

In this instance, _trying_ was certainly the right word. Nº1's solitary cell had a different design than the rest of the cells, like this one, which were more standard, but required a pass code and a key. Phreaking was unnecessary here, and Artemis had already input the default code. It was the key that was the issue. This one was a card key- something he didn't prepare for and Holly's Omnitool couldn't replicate. In short, Artemis Fowl was stuck.

"Liar," accused the elf inside, "what game are you playing at?"

Artemis might have responded, but he quickly had something else to worry about.

It was a voice that came from some distance away, but sounded like it was coming closer.

"… internal control platform's in an engineering room up ahead."

The voice was followed by multiple pairs of footsteps.

Then the hall was suddenly lit up by the reflected beam of Holly's helmet from the last cell in the section. It wasn't all that bright, but it was apparently enough to get somebody's attention.

"Hey, what's that?" came a new voice, "Maybe power came back in one of the segregation sections."

"Let's go check it out," said another person, "it's nearby the engineering room anyway."

The voices got closer. Artemis gritted his teeth paused only for a moment before abandoning the card-key lock and running back to Nº1's cell.

* * *

Holly had just finished zipping up the young warlock into a large, thin duffle bag that she had pulled from her own pack. They were already outside the cell and the door was closed and locked. She had made sure that despite whatever was wrong with the imp, he was still alive and, as her magic told her, more or less healthy. Still, the resemblance of what she was doing to putting him in a body bag was beginning to scare her.

Trouble was unfolding a similar cloth bag next to her when a frantic voice came from behind them.

"Holly!" whispered Artemis as he rushed towards them, "Your lights! There're guards coming this way!"

The captain sucked in an involuntary breath and quietly cursed her own carelessness before flicking the lights off and plunging them back into darkness. But it was no use, the footsteps were still coming, and flashlight beams were now swinging back and forth near the hallway junction.

"Captain," said Trouble, who had stopped his work and was now standing by Holly, "we don't have a choice." He gestured towards the hall.

Holly nodded. She knew what he meant. Trouble moved off to the side, pressing his form against the wall and wishing for the thousandth time since he came here that he still had some magic left to shield. All he managed to do was a slight wobble of a vibration that left him more exhausted and dizzy than invisible. Artemis dragged both bags to the side of the hall and tried to remember what Butler had taught him about making himself as small a target as possible. But even as he did, he couldn't resist peeking at Holly, who now stood alone in the middle of the hall, pulling her Neutrino from its holster and adjusting its firepower.

"Good luck," said Foaly quietly in the elf's communicator, though the words had a slight tinge of 'goodbye' to them.

Holly shielded.

The guards probably weren't expecting anything, so the first group wouldn't be prepared. But everyone after that…

The humans rounded the corner, and despite the bright beams of light now shining at her, Holly's helmet computer quickly acquired five targets. Three were armed, apparently, with handguns which were yet to be drawn, and two were unarmed.

The elf's first three shots downed the armed men, the last of which was just able to pull his gun out before he dropped to the floor, unconscious. Flashlight beams dropped as the men did, flailing for just a second before hitting the ground with a clatter and rolling away.

One more shot stunned one of the remaining men.

A last blast would have done it.

Holly fired.

It was impossible, of course, to actually see the beam of energy moving to its target beyond seeing a flash at the muzzle of the Neutrino. It was not, however, hard at all to see what happened when it hit the last man.

Or rather, when it didn't.

Instead of slamming right into the human's chest and rendering him unconscious for a good twelve hours, the blue energy splashed against an invisible barrier mere feet from its target, splaying outward like ripples, tracing the curved shape of a sphere in thin air.

"Impossible…" whispered Foaly in the captain's ear.

Holly wasn't exactly paying attention at the moment. She was busy squeezing off additional shots as fast as semi-automatic mode would let her. It was a very impressive light show, but not one shot hit the human.

"Holly, it's no use," said Foaly frantically, "that's like my Safetynet design. Energy pulses can't get past it!"

On his part, the Mud Man ducked down and dropped to the floor. He had grabbed one of the guards' guns before Holly could do anything about it.

He aimed it from a prone position on the floor and prepared to fire.

_Pfft_

In the back of her mind, it registered to Holly that that wasn't the sound of a normal human handgun, but as long as she wasn't hurt yet, she knew she was still invisible and could maybe do something. She stopped shooting and powered up her wings.

Maybe she could tackle him…

"Holly!" cried Artemis suddenly, "Stop, look!"

The captain paused just long enough to notice that though the man was still prone, his hands were now slack and the gun had fallen from them. His head was slumped face-first into the ground. She glanced back at Artemis, who held up a finger for her to see.

The hypodermic dart-shooting finger. Holly would have rolled her eyes if she wasn't so relieved. Saved by a novelty LEP weapon.

"Sorry I didn't shoot faster," said Artemis a bit shakily, "I'm not exactly used to firefights."

"Everybody alright?" asked Holly as she unshielded and dropped back to the ground.

"We're fine," responded Trouble, "nice shooting Holly."

"Thank you sir," she replied automatically, "What should we do now?"

Artemis spoke up. "I think now we have the chance to get your other self out," he said as he walked forward towards the unconscious humans. Holly followed and Trouble dragged the two bags a few feet behind her.

"Card keys," explained Fowl as he quickly relieved a guard of his keys and slotted the only card on the ring into the slot next to cell number 0079.

The door beeped once and the lock released. With Holly looking on quietly next to him, Artemis opened the door.

Something hit Holly in the side of the head soon as the door was opened. It might have been a fist.

Artemis turned to the captain just as an arm dragged her into the cell with her neck in a chokehold. The dim light streaming in from another hall gleamed against the metallic casing of Holly's silver Neutrino.

The Neutrino that was currently being held against her head.

The barrel of the weapon glowed slightly, as Artemis recognized the lethal setting of the gun being engaged.

"If anybody does anything stupid," hissed the elf who was now holding Holly hostage and moving carefully towards the middle of the cell, "she goes."

Artemis was rooted to the spot. It was less because he was afraid of doing something stupid than the fact that he felt like he couldn't move at all.

'_But the gun is coded for Holly's DNA… only she can use it!'_ thought a frantic part of his brain.

But then the rational side kicked in. And now he knew just how much trouble they were in.

**

* * *

A/N:** The Safetynet is a canon device which was used by Butler in The Arctic Incident.


	23. An Older Friend

**A/N: **It's a miracle! It's not even a week and I'm back! An actual note though, Artemis is referred to in this chapter as both a 'boy' and a 'man.' This was because he and those who know him (and fairies who tend to be much older than him) see him/himself as a boy, but those who don't see him as an adult due to the time traveling issues in both Lost Colony and this story. And yes, I know Foaly is married in the normal time stream.

* * *

**Artemis Fowl: The Book of Ages**

An Old(er) Friend

**

* * *

**"Holly," began Artemis Fowl in a voice that was barely above a whisper, "you _really_ don't want to do this…"

The taller Holly gagged briefly as her counterpart suddenly tightened her chokehold. It didn't look like she could speak. Artemis' fists clenched in a desperate frustration, but all that did was remind him of the weapon he was wearing on his finger which might have helped, but was already used up.

The boy heard the sound of Trouble dropping the bags a few feet away and running over, stopping immediately and drawing a sharp breath when he saw the scene before them. The Commander reached a hand out, but then just as quickly dropped it.

"D'Arvit," he muttered under his breath. After a moment, he spoke to the Lieutenant. "Holly… listen to me, we are _not_ going to hurt you. I'm an elf, you recognize that, and so is the person you're holding. Our job was to get you out of here."

Artemis gave him a quick glance. That wasn't really true, but he didn't say anything.

"How do you even know my name!?" cried the Lieutenant.

"Holly…" said Trouble again, speaking calmly, "you know me. I'm Trouble. Remember the Academy back in the seventies? Recon classes? The crunchball finals against the fire department in eighty-two?"

Holly reacted quite noticeably to this news. She took a quick step backward, and the hand holding the Neutrino seemed to falter for just a second before it pressed back even harder on the Captain's head.

"Let… go…" wheezed the captured Holly with what little air she had left.

"Id-idiots…" hissed the Lieutenant, squinting a bit in the darkness, as if still trying to see Trouble and Artemis' faces clearly in the dim lighting, "if you were going to pretend to be… to be someone… I knew, at least you could have picked someone who wasn't _dead_!"

"Holly," said Artemis, thinking as fast as he could now, "the person you're holding is wearing a standard-issue LEPRecon helmet. You know where the activation for the tunnel lights is. I promise you that if you use them, you will see that Trouble Kelp is telling the truth."

"Dead elves don't speak…" whispered the Lieutenant bitterly.

But for some reason, after a bit of hesitation, she did press the groove on the edge of the helmet. Both Artemis and Trouble had to shield their eyes when the powerful tunnel beams hit them square in the face. Trouble squeezed his eyes shut, but immediately removed his arm from his face.

The Lieutenant gasped loudly.

"_No_…" breathed the elf.

* * *

For a person with death hovering a single trigger-pull away, Captain Holly Short was surprisingly calm. Well, except for the air deprivation- that was getting uncomfortable.

As she was half-listening to her friends trying to reason with the elf who was holding her, a strange image flashed up in Holly's mind. It was a drab grey tombstone which read, 'Here lies Holly Short, killed by a half-crazed temporal duplicate of herself.' Even her oxygen-deprived brain commented on how utterly ridiculous that sounded.

Maybe that was what gave her the energy to fight back.

The Lieutenant's arm slackened around her neck for just a second when Trouble removed his hands from his face and stared blindly into the lights.

"_No_…"

'_Yes!'_ thought Holly, using the brief moment of confusion to get her fingers between her neck and the other elf's arm.

She took a huge breath of air, and felt oxygen rush back into her body. Grabbing the Neutrino with one hand and thrusting it away from her head, she threw her other elbow back in a harsh jab on what she thought would have been the Lieutenant's stomach. The hit actually ended up just under her collarbone though, knocking the air out of the elf in one hollow wheeze. Holly had forgotten about the height difference.

It didn't matter though- all the better for her to fight with. She slammed a clenched fist down on her alternate's wrist, causing her fingers to fly open in pain. Catching the Neutrino before it hit the ground, she sent the other elf staggering back further into the cell with the butt of the gun.

Holly raised the weapon and steadied her aim. She had half a mind to fire right then and there, but the years as a police officer stopped her. Instead, her face contorted into an angry scowl as she changed the power level.

Then she fired anyway.

* * *

Artemis was still blinking back the bright spots in his vision from seeing the tunnel beams when he heard the discharge of a fairy weapon.

"_HOLLY_!" he and Trouble yelled at the same time.

They heard only ragged breathing in response as each tried to walk into the cell, though neither was really able to see just yet.

"I'm… alright," came Holly's voice between deep breaths.

"You shot her?" asked Artemis, whose vision was finally starting to clear up.

Still panting, Holly dimmed the tunnel lights and pulled off her helmet, revealing sweat-slicked hair plastered on her head. She pointed a thumb at the unconscious form of… well, herself, against the back wall.

"Stunned her… I might have broken one of her ribs too."

Trouble suddenly rushed forward and grabbed Holly into a tight embrace. Hardly professional, not that he cared.

"Captain," he said as he released her, "as your commanding officer, I _order_ you to never do that to yourself again."

Holly smiled wryly at the half-hearted joke.

"Tell that to _her_," she replied, still shaking a little.

As Trouble went to check on the unconscious Holly, Artemis came forward and crouched down a little.

"Are you sure you're alright?" he asked, placing a hand on the Captain's shoulder.

The elf leaned her forehead against the boy's shoulder, slowly bringing her breathing back under control.

"Yeah…"

She paused and drew a long breath before speaking again, this time, at a whisper.

"I can't believe that's _me _though…" she said, her voice tinged with a bit of fear, "she's so…"

Artemis didn't let her finish. Instead, he wrapped an arm around her neck and bowed his head so that his mouth was just above her ear.

"No. She's not you. This isn't our world, and you aren't like that. Don't forget," he hesitated, "… ah… I should have been more careful when we came in… I'm sorry."

Before Holly could respond, Trouble got their attention.

"Hey," he called out, "what about the Lieutenant over here?"

Holly furrowed her brow. She picked up her helmet and put it back on, but left the visor up.

"Foaly, you there?" she asked in a low voice.

"_Holly!"_ replied the centaur with relief clear in his tone, _"I am so sorry. I swear- she is not normally like that. The months in prison must have-"_

"It doesn't matter," the elf cut in coldly, "she's LEP and what she did was _barbaric_. Not to mention she almost killed me."

She imagined that Foaly's expression was probably a pleading one right now, but that was part of the reason she didn't lower her visor. She didn't want to see it.

"_Please…"_ begged the centaur, _"you have to believe me. She would never do something like that under normal circumstances. Bring her back. We'll have her see a psychiatrist or something!"_

Holly winced. Despite Artemis' assurances, it still felt sort of like Foaly was talking about _her_ rather than the Lieutenant.

"And she won't try to kill us on the way back?" she asked, still obviously skeptical.

"Holly," said Artemis suddenly. He only heard her end of the conversation, but it wasn't too hard to guess what was said. "We came this far. We should take her with us."

"She's practically insane!" protested the elf.

"Captain, they are at war," injected Trouble sternly. His tone quickly grew softer though. "It does terrible things to people. Messes up their heads. I'm not saying she's stable, but I can't justify leaving her like this after getting so close. Maybe she'll recover… We should bring her."

Holly shut her eyes tightly and sighed. After a long silence, she responded.

"Yes… sir," she replied, then she looked directly at Trouble, "but she's going to have to get in a bag with Nº1."

Trouble gave her a small smile. "They're both unconscious. I'm sure he'll live."

Holly rolled her eyes.

"You should get into a bag then, Commander. Artemis, can you help me with, uh, _her_?"

* * *

The red and white ambulance stopped behind two others near the courtyard of Strangeroads Prison. The gate to the courtyard had been opened for the first time in decades as the first of the inmates were examined by the emergency personnel.

The driver stepped out immediately after shutting the vehicle's engine. The sirens on the top of the vehicle gave a few final whines before shutting down.

The only other passenger in the ambulance made sure he was out of sight before clipping a small Bluetooth earpiece on her right ear.

"Medic to Ops- come in Ops."

Barely a second passed before she got a response.

"_I take it you've arrived?"_ asked Foaly from Haven City.

The names they used when communicating were actually his idea. He actually knew the person he was speaking to, and so did she, but of course, as paranoid as he was, he insisted on never using actual names or references to things like 'Haven,' 'LEP,' and that sort of thing. He didn't particularly trust human encryption systems- or any encryption system he didn't build, for that matter. The person playing the part of 'Medic,' naturally found it absurd, but a bit amusing.

"Yes," replied the woman, "any changes in the procedure?"

This time, there was a slight hesitation.

"_No, Medic, same as we discussed, though uh… one of the shipments is going to be heavier than expected."_

"It's movable though, right?"

"_Yeah, it should be fine. Do you have the map?"_

The blonde shook her head slightly and smirked. She didn't actually _have_ the map of the prison- that had gone in the paper shredder in her office the night before- but she memorized the path she needed to take.

"Yes," she replied, deciding not to elaborate.

"_Alright,"_ said Foaly, _"Ops out."_

"Oh yeah, _Medic out_," she replied with an exaggerated military tone.

She chuckled as she grabbed two black duffle bags and opened the door.

'_Centaurs…'_ she thought, _'the guy really needs a vacation. Or a wife…'_

* * *

"_Holly, you've got ten minutes- tops- before transporter arrives,"_ came Foaly's voice in the elf's communicator.

Holly nodded reflexively and glanced towards Trouble, who was currently sitting inside a black bag.

"Time to tuck in, Commander."

Trouble winced, but curled up inside the bag. His three-foot-two frame just barely fitting with a bend of the knees.

"See you on the other side," said the Commander as Holly zipped up the bag, leaving just a little room for air.

Artemis helped her drag the bags off to one side of the hall before turning to Holly and getting down on one knee so that he was looking her straight in the eye. He gave her a small smile of reassurance. Her expression told him that she wasn't reassured at all.

"Holly?"

"I still think this is stupid," she said, frowning deeply. She ran her eyes over his face carefully, somehow glad that she wasn't looking through a visor.

"Come on, Holly, trust me."

"You're going to regret this as soon as it starts," she warned.

"Probably," Artemis answered, "but I won't regret it once it's over. Be careful though, and make sure I'm _completely_ under. I'll consciously try to believe you, but my subconscious is going to resist no matter what."

The elf sighed deeply and nodded. She began drawing out her magic.

"_Artemis, can you hear me?"_ she asked carefully through the hypnotic tones of the _mesmer_.

The boy's expression suddenly changed, looking more peaceful as he nodded his head slowly, barely aware of what he was doing.

"_Alright… until I say so," _Holly continued, _"your name is Sean Ackart and you are an inmate of Strangeroads Prison. This prison is the first time you've ever seen a fairy before and you don't know any fairies personally. You've been in the cafeteria for the last hour and had a nasty hit on your head when the area was attacked."_

Holly took another breath and checked around herself one more time. Then she turned back to Artemis and continued, albeit, with a wince.

"_Sean, you've studied enough medicine to know what the symptoms of severe head trauma are… You've… you've been impacted hard enough to cause these symptoms, which you should start feeling in a few seconds."_

Holly started counting. Artemis didn't show any reaction for the first five seconds, and even as she passed it, his only sign of any change was a slight twitching in his lips, almost like he was trying to speak. But then he fell forward and landed on his hands, trembling slightly as he struggled to keep himself on all fours.

Holly squeezed her eyes shut and turned her head away.

"Sorry, Arty," she whispered with pain in her tone before turning and closing her visor.

Though her back was to the boy, she could already hear him shaking and imagined him doubled over in uncontrolled convulsions as his brain began firing off massive amounts of random signals throughout his body. It was all an effect of a brain convinced that it was injured, but the results were obvious and plentiful.

The _mesmer_ was indeed far more potent a weapon than most fairies realized.

Through all of this, all Holly did was take a few steps forward before launching herself into the air, powering up her wings and vibrating out of the visible spectrum. The Captain still heard the sound of his head hitting the floor when he collapsed though. She was sorely tempted to go back, but instead flew even faster towards the nearest open exit.

* * *

It was only a little more than six minutes later when someone arrived in the prison's segregation area.

"Hey Conner, over here!" cried the blonde medic as she spotted the heap of guards on the floor.

The man who had been driving their ambulance quickly followed, dragging a stretcher on wheels through the dim hallway.

"Whoa," he exclaimed quietly as soon as he saw the unconscious men, "what happened here?"

His partner went elsewhere though, crouching next to a nearby inmate who was shaking violently on the hard concrete floor. She spotted the two bags hidden in the shadows off to the side, but didn't say anything.

"Hey," she said gently, looking carefully at the inmate's sweat-drenched face and barely-open eyes, "what happened?"

The initial response was only a slight moan as the man laid a hand on his stomach.

"Bright… flash…" he wheezed, "head hurts…"

"Conner!" yelled the woman, "Help me with him. He's convulsing, I think there's been a head injury. I'm going to get something to stabilize him."

The medic she had called Conner quickly went and took over, lifting the inmate's head slightly off the concrete as he examined him. He was definitely the worst off of those in the area, and so he had to be attended to first, inmate or not. The shaking definitely wasn't helping.

"Hey," the medic said, trying to keep the man conscious, "you're going to be alright. What's your name?"

"Ackart…" said the inmate between violent trembles, "Ackart…"

The woman gave a quick look to the two to make sure her partner was distracted before quietly picking up the unnoticed bags and rushing over to the stretcher. She unzipped the two identical bags in the rack underneath to reveal nothing more than a rigid frame made of bent coat hangers holding the bags in shape so it looked like they were full. She bent the wiring down until it was flat and pressed the bags in on top of them. Finally, she put the full duffle bags on top of the coat hanger ones, completely covering them.

Foaly was right, these bags were heavy, but one was _much_ heavier than the other. It took her both hands and quite a bit of effort to actually get these 'medical supplies' onto the rack. She pulled a needle from her pocket and placed it on top of the bags.

She looked over her work quickly and released a breath she had unknowingly been holding. Then she went back to her partner.

"Let's get him on the stretcher," she said.

As soon as they had the trembling inmate on the makeshift bed, the woman used the needle and injected the 'sedative' into one arm while Conner held the man still. Unbeknownst to her partner, all she had actually put into the inmate's system was half-normal saline solution- water with a tiny bit of salt in it- hardly useful for anything relating to field treatment of convulsions.

"Let's go," said Conner, beginning to push the now-loaded stretcher down the hall, "we'll come back for these guys later."

* * *

Holly Short had been standing shielded in the back of an open ambulance behind the driver's seat for over ten minutes now. Needless to say, she was getting very, very restless. It wasn't enough that Artemis' little plan had called for her to actually put him into a more or less seizure-like state, but she also had to practically abandon him while she waited for _other_ people to help.

Holly decided that when Fowl woke up, she would have a nice long talk with him about that. Or just punch him.

"_Calm down, Captain," _said Foaly in her communicator, _"according to your suit, your heart rate's been way too high for the last few minutes."_

"It's not _my_ vitals I'm worried about," muttered Holly in response.

She didn't have to worry all the much longer though, since a few seconds later, two paramedics rushed up to the back of the van. One immediately circled around, opened the driver's side door and started the vehicle, which the other carefully pushed the stretcher up the ramp.

Holly felt more than a few of her muscles relax quite a bit when she saw Artemis on the bed. She tensed back up a bit though when she saw that he was still shaking slightly. For her part, the female medic closed one door in the back once the stretcher was in, but didn't close the other one just yet. She took a long look around the empty spaces of back area until she stopped when she reached Holly's corner.

She lifted her cap a little and locked a pair of dark brown eyes with Holly, even though the elf could have sworn it was impossible to actually make eye contact with a shielded fairy. Holly furrowed her brow. This was obviously the transporter Root had assigned to help them, but there was something not quite right about the woman. She couldn't quite place it though.

But the medic didn't know any of this. She simply smiled and nodded once ever so slightly before jumping in and closing the door.

"Go," she ordered the driver, who eased the vehicle away from the sidewalk and drove quickly past the guards. The guards let them go with a slight nod but without a word- they had already gotten notice that Sean Ackart was being transported for emergency treatment at North Manchester General Hospital. He had been one of the most seriously affected inmates in the explosion in Strangeroads, and would be among the few people who would be transported into the city for treatment.

* * *

Holly rode next to the blonde woman for some time as the van sped quickly down the deserted road. From what little she could see outside the small windows, the area was a pretty depressing-looking place. But her focus wasn't on the view.

After checking Artemis' vitals and pressing an arm back onto the stretcher (it had flailed off during a spasm), the female paramedic finally turned to Holly. Leaning close to the haze that was there, she spoke in a low voice that was muffled by the sounds of the car so that the driver couldn't hear it.

"Hello fairy," she said with a small smile, "I think it's about time we took care of old Conner up in front."

Holly almost shivered at the ease with which the woman spoke to invisible beings. The only humans she had ever known to be able to keep their composure when they were in a room with shielded fairies and _knew_ it could be counted on three fingers- and two of them had the surname of Butler. The last was right in front of her.

But still, the blonde was right.

Holly unshielded and stepped out into the space between the two seats in front. The driver didn't seem to immediately notice, so with a small sigh, the elf spoke.

"Hello, human."

The driver took one look at the rearview mirror and the vehicle suddenly swerved. Holly had to grab only the side of the seat to stay upright, but she continued staring intently at the mirror, determined not to break eye contact.

"_Keep driving, Mud Man,"_ she ordered, her voice layered with magical power this time. "_Carefully," _she added.

The ambulance settled down and continued on the road, though the driver appeared dazed and a bit disoriented.

"_Do you know the way to Dark Peak?" _Holly asked. The driver shook his head, but didn't speak.

The elf knew she could guide him with the help of her helmet computer. She took a long look back at the stretcher and the two bags that were against the side of the van. She would much rather be taking care of her friends, and most of all, bringing Artemis out of his current state.

The paramedic seemed to notice her hesitation.

"I know where we're going. If you'd like, I can guide him," she offered.

Holly nodded and the blonde stepped around her to seat herself in the passenger's spot.

"You're going to need to change lanes," she told the driver, "the exit is coming up."

The driver didn't respond, but rather kept on going. The woman turned back to Holly and raised an eyebrow.

"Sorry," said Holly, "I need to tell him to follow your directions. I'll need your name."

The blonde chuckled and rolled her eyes.

"So much for secrecy. Then again, _you_ obviously won't be going to Manchester Police to tell on _me_." She paused for a moment. "The name's Minerva. Minerva Paradizo."

Holly gaped at the blonde for a good second or two. If she had been consciously aware of her current expression, she would have turned quite red in the face. It had something to do with the incredulity implied by a slightly drooped-forward head and a slack jaw. But her thoughts were, understandably, not on her expression at the moment.

Now that Holly actually thought about it, the woman _did_ bear a passing resemblance to the girl she had met a year (or was it four years? nine years?) ago. Only, for this world, five additional years would have passed since Minerva Paradizo was twelve years old.

'_No way…'_ she thought in shock, even as the woman began to look concerned, _'Of all the people in the world… it had to be… her…?'_

Twenty-one-year old Minerva looked very different from the child Holly remembered. Her features were obviously more mature and seemingly a bit sharper. Golden hair now ran down in loose curls just past her shoulders, though it was held together by the cap she wore. Her face was no longer that of a little girl, but of a grown woman, with dark brown eyes that seemed to coolly analyze anything and everything they laid on.

It was small wonder Holly felt something odd when she first saw her.

"Are you quite alright, elf?" asked Minerva, looking confusedly at the Captain.

"Uh… uh…" stammered Holly, "yeah, I'm fine."

She turned quickly to the driver.

"_You are to follow… Minerva's… directions for now,"_ she ordered.

Holly shook her head as the woman began telling Conner how to get to Dark Peak. She turned to Artemis and jumped on top of him to hold him steady as she forced his eyes open with her fingers.

"_You're alright. You've just recovered from the head trauma."_

Artemis seemed to let out a relieved sigh as his eyes slipped closed again and his body finally lay still on the bed, apparently asleep from exhaustion. It would have probably been better if he was awake right now, but Holly decided to let him rest for a bit- at least until they got to the shuttleport.

She turned to the black duffle bags and crouched down to unzip them. Trouble's was opened first, and the Commander came out breathing in long hard breaths.

"Whew," said Trouble immediately, "nicely done Captain." Then he saw her face. "Are you alright Holly?"

"Yes," answered the elf wearily as she opened the other bag a third of the way to give its unconscious occupants a bit more air. She looked at the stunned form of herself inside the bag and glanced almost automatically at the woman sitting next to the driver.

"I think I'm going to start having a _really_ bad headache once we get back though," she added.

She was wrong. The headache started now.

* * *

**A/N:** All you Minerva-haters out there, take a _deep _breath. Resist the urge to destroy your computer screen and/or come kill me. Please.

If you liked her in the Lost Colony, ignore the following.

I realize that the sentiment many Colfer fans have for Ms. Paradizo is less than awe, especially among A/H fans. However, she _will_ be playing a role in this story. I will try very, very hard to make Minerva _-coughMarySuecough- _Paradizo a legitamatly believable character as opposed to the widespread image of her as an annoying Artemis-clone. Hopefully, having her be an actual adult will help. Like always, you'll see what I mean when you read it in future chapters.


	24. Dual Role

**A/N:** This should be fun...

* * *

**Artemis Fowl: The Book of Ages**

Dual Role

* * *

**Dark Peak, Derbyshire, England**

"Well…" mused Minerva quietly to herself, "that certainly was interesting."

She watched through the ambulance's side mirror as two elves and a human walked into a large boulder carrying two large black bags. The human and one elf were still wearing the standard-issue orange suits of Strangeroads.

'_Definitely not something you do every day.'_ Minerva frowned a little as she saw the end of Ackart's pant leg and white shoes disappear into the rock. "Mon Dieu!" she muttered. _'Quels vêtements horribles… ah, and they took his suit too. Poor man.'_

She tsked and shook her head before turning back to the driver.

"Let us go, Conner, we still have people to treat."

The man pushed the pedal slightly and started the van rolling down towards the main road without a sound. Minerva wasn't particularly worried- he would come of the _mesmer_-induced stupor as soon as they passed the Strangeroads gates. Everything would proceed as it was supposed to, and the medic would believe that they had just come back a hospital to assist with cleanup.

* * *

"You don't say?" asked Artemis Fowl with an incredulous expression.

He and Holly were just inside an idling shuttle, each strapping an unconscious fairy into the deep padded chairs of the vehicle while Trouble was up in the front starting the shuttle up and doing pre-dive checks. Artemis, as might have been expected, was helping the _other_ Holly into a seat. Captain Short seemed somewhat averse to interacting much more than really necessary with this elf. Aside from the fact that it was kind of creepy to be doing something like that, Holly still deemed the Lieutenant something of a psychopath. Up until right now, Holly had just been telling Artemis what had happened while he was under the _mesmer_, while they both tried to keep from staring at Nº1's petrified arm.

The elf only nodded in response.

Artemis' expression suddenly changed and his let out a low laugh, covering one side of his face with a hand and massaging his temple.

"Minerva, Minerva, Minerva." Artemis shook his head, still chuckling. "I wonder whatever happened to her..." He paused and looked at Holly, "You didn't wake me up until we were entering the shuttleport."

"I was _trying_ to let you recover," responded the elf, answering the unstated question, frowning slightly at the tone he used with the girl's (now woman's) name. But then she quickly gained a thoughtful expression. "Oh yeah, I forgot. Artemis, there's something I wanted to give you before, remind me when we get back to the apartment."

Artemis looked confused for a moment, but nodded.

Commander Kelp poked his head to the back of the shuttle and checked its occupants before giving the conscious ones a thumbs up.

"Shuttle's juiced up and ready to go," he announced, managing to retain his leader-like tone and composure despite the orange jumpsuit. "Strap yourselves in."

**

* * *

San D'Klass Memorial Hospital, Haven City**

It was a good hour and a half later before Commander Julius Root walked into the waiting room of the hospital. Well, they called it a hospital anyway. But with its staff down to about half of what would have normally been deemed a 'skeleton crew,' and only a single, under-stocked floor being used, it felt a bit more like a field medical tent- albeit, a very roomy one.

"What happened?" asked Root immediately, perhaps even more brusque than Trouble when the latter was very stressed out.

Holly and Trouble immediately stood up for the entering Commander, as per the old regulations. Artemis resisted the urge to roll his eyes and slowly got up himself. Of course, the Commander only really went by regulations as it fit him, and waved for them all to sit as soon as he saw them getting up.

"Sir," began Holly, "the retrieval was a success. Trouble Kelp," she gestured towards the elf, "Nº1, and uh… Lieutenant Short were extracted from Strangeroads Prison just a little over three hours ago."

"Nice job Captain," smiled Root, reaching out to shake Trouble's hand, "Good to see you back Major."

Holly shot Trouble a look. _'Major?'_

The elf smiled slightly and held a finger up to his lips as soon as the Commander looked away.

"Any problems Captain?" continued Root.

"…yes, Commander," said Holly with a slight cringe, "we were just waiting for you to get here."

She got up and knocked gently on the door to the recovery room. The door opened a tiny crack and an eye peered out and looked around. Then the door opened a little bit more to show Foaly's face.

"Wait a second Holly, don't come in yet," he said. Holly heard another door being shut gently inside. A few seconds later, he opened the door to let the waiting room's occupants in.

The recovery room was a simple enough place. There was a single bed in front of a wall-mounted screen, all lit by standard white fluorescent lights. On that bed, the demon named Nº1 lay flat on his back with his torso covered by a soft blue sheet and his eyes closed.

Two elves and a human filed in quietly, but it was Commander Root's reaction which was strongest. It took a second for it to kick in, but it did.

"What did they _do_ to him!?" he growled, his face turning redder by the second, even as he pointed a shaking finger at the imp's dark-grey forearm, which was stuck in a tight petrified fist.

Foaly stepped forward and lifted the unconscious imp's arm carefully, rotating it slightly as he looked at the petrified portion again.

"I don't understand it myself, Commander… it's just… turned to stone. There's no technology that could do this, human or fairy. I mean, it'd take at least a couple thousand years in order for anything like this to start, not to mention he'd have to be dead and buried- and even then it'd be his whole body, not just an arm."

Seeing Holly and Artemis' looks, Foaly suddenly froze for a moment.

"Well, he's clearly alive right now," he quickly added, "If the sensors are telling us anything, then it's pretty clear he was under a sedative and should be waking up pretty soon."

Artemis furrowed his brow as he looked over the young imp. He glanced down at Holly who was staring similarly at Nº1 and gently touched her shoulder.

"Holly…" he said quietly. She turned to look at him with worry in her expression.

"Gargoyle's Touch," she pronounced.

"Is it possible?" asked the boy.

"I'm not sure," responded the fairy, "I don't see why he would do that to himself though…"

"What if it's not him?"

"Who else could do it?" asked Holly with confusion in her tone.

Artemis thought for a moment, but then his eyes suddenly widened.

"The Taiwanese art exhibit…" he gasped.

"Qwan!?" Holly shot back, shaking her head, "No, that can't be it."

There was a long silence before Commander Root coughed loudly to get their attention. He gave both elf and human a confused look.

"While I'm sure five word bursts of conversation mean a lot to smart people like you, could you _please_ explain it a bit to old folks like me who _didn't_ grow up with your texting and your chit-chat-rooms-" Foaly let out a short horse-like snigger at this bit, which Root pointedly ignored.

"Well?" prompted the Commander, raising an eyebrow.

Holly and Artemis looked at each other and the Commander.

"Gargoyle's Touch," interjected Trouble, "it's a form of basic demon magic- turns the target into, well, stone. Qwan is one of the chief warlocks from our time. I assume what Artemis meant by the 'art exhibit' was the location where Qwan was petrified for somewhere around ten thousand years."

"And you know all of this because…?" asked Foaly slowly.

The elf shrugged.

"A top secret subset of the LEP called Section Eight was in charge of monitoring demon activity. It fell under my command a few years ago due to some… unforeseen circumstances. It had quite a bit of information about the Eighth Family." He turned and spoke directly to Commander Root. "I'm sure you've been briefed on Section Eight's ongoing mission parameters before."

Root looked thoughtful and tugged at his beard a little.

"I think I have…" he replied, "but that was at least two centuries ago. I didn't hear a peep out of them since then till they were quietly disbanded some time ago after failing their primary directive. All I got at the end of that was a confidential memo from the Council. Guess it's not too confidential now."

Holly glanced over at the unconscious demon.

"What can we do now?" she asked quietly.

"You three," answered Foaly, nodding at her, Artemis, and Trouble, "should go home for now. We'll wait for imp-boy here to wake up, and in the meanwhile, I'm running out of excuses to keep the doctors away from here so they don't see _you_," he pointed directly at Artemis. "Not to mention that you really don't want to be here when Lieutenant Short wakes up. Waking up to see a dead elf and herself waiting for her probably isn't very healthy."

The centaur nodded towards a thick door behind him, and for the first time, Holly actually looked through the narrow window on it. She couldn't see the other elf, just the end of a hospital bed. In a way, she was glad for that.

"Don't worry about Nº1," continued Foaly, "technically speaking, the sedative should be long gone, he's just out from exhaustion. He should wake up in a few hours and we'll run a test or two to make sure everything's alright. Other than that, we can send him home and he'll be as energetic as ever. Well, except for the stone arm thing."

It didn't escape Holly's notice that the centaur mentioned nothing of her counterpart's condition.

**

* * *

The Short Residence, Haven City**

Artemis pressed his hands against the warm sides of a surprising large cup filled halfway with Oolong tea. He might have asked for Earl Grey, but Holly didn't have any on hand, and even he had the social sense not to complain about it. The elfin captain currently sat next to him on the sofa, rubbing her temples gently as her cold cup of spring water got warmer and warmer, but remained mostly untouched. Trouble had gone back to his own apartment for what he said was a long-needed shower in "properly filtered water" after his ordeal in Strangeroads Prison. Artemis never did understand how fairies got so obsessive about their water.

"Ah, yes, I'd almost forgotten," said the boy suddenly, "you wanted to give me something?"

Holly perked up and looked confused for just a moment before realizing what Artemis meant. He thought he saw her showing a brief pained expression before she gave him the thinnest of smiles. Instead of responding, she got up and came up close to Artemis' left side.

"Yeah, I did," she finally replied. Then she promptly pulled a smoothly muscled arm back and punched the boy harshly on the shoulder.

"OW!" cried Fowl, quickly rubbing his shoulder and looking at Holly as if she was insane, "What the heck was that for!?" And of course, you know Artemis Fowl is under physical stress if he uses the word 'heck,' without wincing at the unrefined nature of the word. He _was_ wincing in pain though.

"_That_," said Holly emphatically, swallowing, "was for making put you in a _seizure_!" She gave him another rapid jab on an unprotected part of his arm before he could protest. "And _that_, was for making me wait in the ambulance!"

Artemis's face changed to an almost apologetic expression before he closed his eyes and sighed.

"Are you quite finished?" he asked.

When he opened his eyes again, Holly was already sitting back in her seat, but she was still glaring at him.

"More or less," she replied, shrugging.

"How would punching _me_ have any effect on what happened?" asked Artemis, frowning.

"Punching you always makes me feel better," she answered simply.

Understandably, Fowl winced again. "I don't suppose they teach logic in fairy schools, now do they?"

"Actually, they do," Holly shot back, crossing her arms, "and from what I understand, causing yourself to suffer head trauma isn't a very _logical_ thing to do!"

Artemis almost started giving a rather long explanation of the sense behind his plan, but decided to save himself the trouble.

"Yes, yes, of course, you're right…" he said, giving up. How many times had he explained this?

'_It makes perfect sense!'_ he thought, mentally shaking his head, _'… women and their emotions… really…'_

"Look," he continued, "would it help if I said I'm sorry for making you to put me in a seizure, I'm sorry for making you to leave before us, and I'm sorry for making you wait?"

Holly studied his face for a moment, almost as if to see if he was actually serious. When she spoke again, it probably wasn't the response he was looking for.

"You know something?" she asked, "You suck at apologies."

But despite her words, she moved closer to him on the sofa and looked up at him.

"Promise me you'll never make me hurt you like that again," she said.

Artemis saw her face and was surprised at the strain in her tone. It took him a second, but he finally nodded.

Holly looked relieved and to Artemis' eternal surprise, actually leaned into him. Well, into the shoulder she had just punched, actually, but it was leaning nonetheless. Maybe it was because of this that he brain seemed to fall into utter confusion for a moment, during which it blurted out one of the random comebacks he constantly kept ready for any situation.

"What was the punching then?" He immediately regretted asking. He stared at her, waiting for her to get angry with him again. But that, she did not do.

"Stress relief…" muttered the elf, closing her eyes.

* * *

It was well into the evening hours by now, and Artemis Fowl had just come out of the shower. He came out, of course, in the same clothes he had gone in with. He also came out with a scowling expression in addition to dripping hair.

"I _really _miss my suits," he moaned. Maybe prison-issue orange just really clashed with his sense of style. "When we get back to the surface, the first thing I'm going to do is-" he caught himself and stopped when he realized it probably wasn't the best idea to go shopping in a prison jumpsuit. "Maybe I can get some clothes delivered…"

Holly waved his suggestion off. "We have more important things to worry about," she said, taking on a more serious tone than he expected, "Julius just called for a meeting and… there's been a change in the Book."

Artemis opened his mouth to ask about the change, but before he could, there was a loud thumping on the door. Holly opened it, and a beet red Commander Root strode in right by her, followed by a nervous Trouble Kelp.

"We have a _problem_," said Root through gritted teeth, speaking directly at Artemis, apparently oblivious to the boy's current state. Artemis noted that the Commander's fingers were rather conspicuously resting on the large tri-barreled blaster at his hip.

"Look, Commander," said Trouble, "I can vouch for him. You can't jump to conclusions that fast."

Artemis furrowed his brow in confusion. "I'm sorry, but what exactly is the problem?"

Root looked him straight in the eye and answered simply.

"You."

Whether intentionally or not, it was at this very moment when Holly's phone rang, preventing Artemis from responding.

"Answer it," commanded Julius, "It's Foaly."

The elfin captain quietly closed the door and pressed a button on the wall. The room's television (or what Artemis had previously assumed to be only a television) lit up to show Foaly, whose expression was no less grim than his boss'.

For a few seconds, no one spoke. Finally, Artemis did.

"Anyone care to explain how _I'm_ a problem?" he asked, genuinely confused.

"Does the name Dmetri Maisky mean anything to you?" asked Foaly from the screen.

Artemis shook his head.

"Stefan Bashkir?" continued Foaly.

The boy frowned, but answered. "An alias I used for a while to study long distance at a Russian university, and then later to search for my father in the Siberian region."

Root's face seemed to get redder even as Foaly's expression darkened.

"What about Fowl Industries?" asked the centaur.

"A start-up company founded by my father. It had a few small holdings in several miscellaneous companies and a substantial investment in a Canadian beverage producer. It collapsed after a… mishap… with a major cola shipment. I played around with the idea of restarting it, but I haven't done anything yet. Well, in my time, of course."

Foaly stayed silent for a few seconds.

"Commander?" he asked, not actually putting his question into words.

Root shook his head. "Tell him."

"I did a little bit of digging after Nº1 gave us an interesting insight."

"He woke up!?" asked Holly excitedly.

"Yes," replied the centaur, waving the comment aside, "but more importantly, if my searches are right..." he began slowly, "Maisky is a false identity just like Bashkir. Both are used by Artemis Fowl the Second of Ireland."

"So?" asked the boy.

Foaly took a long breath before continuing. "Fowl Industries developed fusion reactors used by nearly every human military vehicle occupying Haven City."

Artemis frowned, but nodded. He knew this. It wasn't good, but he had been forced to do that, right?

"Dmetri Maisky is the Russian security agent who very nearly single-handedly annihilated the Russian Mafiya. He remained anonymous in the public sphere, but even so, the Mafiya even gave him a nickname, the Siberian Hunter."

Artemis froze, staring now at the centaur with wide, shocked eyes.

"Forty-six related Mafiya deaths, nearly all mid to high level bosses." Foaly read from a screen to the side now, in a shaky voice. "And then there's the effect of your- his, _inventions_ on the siege on Haven." The centaur paused, and seemed unsure for a moment, but then turned back to look directly at the camera- at Artemis.

"And I think you just tranquilized him seven hours ago."


	25. Stockholm

**Artemis Fowl: The Book of Ages**

Stockholm

* * *

"You know, Jon Spiro once told me that I didn't have the guts to kill someone- that if I did, I'd end up like him in a few years." Artemis Fowl laughed bitterly. "I guess he was right about everything but guts."

"Would you stop saying stuff like that already!?" cried Holly, "Look, I get it, the Artemis of this world is a power-hungry psychopath, but then in this world _I'm_ the one who nearly got us killed. _You_ were just telling me today that we're not the same person, so would you _please_ just get it through your skull that what people in this world do have _nothing_ to do with who _we _are."

Artemis gave her a fleeting and hollow glance. He was glad the others were gone for now, but that did little to make him feel any better about what was going on.

"You don't get it," he said softly. "The Lieutenant went mad because of the stresses of war and prison. Artemis Fowl," he cringed almost imperceptibly when he said his own name, but continued emphatically "is just _me_ back when I first kidnapped you, given a few more years, and given a reason to kill. There was no outside influence, that's the way I _naturally_ am."

Holly felt an involuntary shiver run down her spine at his words. It was actually the first time he had ever referred to their meeting as a 'kidnapping,' and though she knew it already, the image he brought up was indeed one of a scary man.

Neither elf nor human spoke as Artemis' words seemed to hang silently in the air.

"Arty…" said Holly finally.

"Yes?" he answered in a voice that showed none of his usual confidence. He didn't move though, not even to change his unrelenting stare at the space in front of him.

"I… I don't care. I don't care about how you were 'supposed' to be!" Holly said, her voice shifting from quiet to forceful. She seemed to calm down a bit when the boy finally looked at her, softening her tone, but still carrying the same intensity in it. "If it took a kidnapping to stop you from becoming like him, then so be it! I'd be… I'm _glad_ it happened if this is the result."

Artemis regarded her with open surprise on his face. Of course, he had long realized that without the influence of the People, he could have very well turned out to be a different, and possibly worse, person than he was. But to hear things put before him in such plain terms… it was something he had never expected to experience.

"I think Foaly's wrong," continued the elf, "we _will_ find a way to change things back…"

**

* * *

Two Hours Ago**

Artemis Fowl had yet to formulate a proper response to Foaly's new revelation. After all, what could he say? The centaur and the commander had known him for just a few days, but now had years worth of records on the plans and activities of the older Fowl. The evidence was against him, to say the least. Foaly had explained the situation in a bit more detail over the last five minutes and Artemis' expression seemed to have gradually changed from dismay to an almost catatonic state. The only time he seemed to actually be paying attention was when Foaly had mentioned his counterpart's association with a certain raven-haired woman.

That was when his expression turned to one of disgust.

"I don't know what you may have or have not done in your time, Fowl, but in light of this new information, we can't continue like this," said the centaur emotionlessly on the video screen.

"What are you proposing?" asked Trouble cautiously.

Foaly shrugged.

"Mind wipe," he replied simply.

"No!" cried Holly and Trouble simultaneously. For his part, Artemis hadn't said a word.

"He is a security risk of the highest order!" Julius said through gritted teeth, throwing an unreadable expression at the human.

"You're saying I'll betray you," whispered Artemis, "that I'm like _him_."

"Trolls don't run too far from the pack," said Foaly, "and Mister Fowl seems to have thrown in his lot with Opal _Zito_." He spat out the last word with a vehemence that seemed uncharacteristic of him. But then again, the pixie- now human- was perhaps the greatest traitor the People had ever known. Maybe the tone was justified.

"He's not like that at all!" yelled Holly, suddenly infuriated at the accusation.

"I'm sorry Holly," said Root next to her, looking genuinely apologetic, "but all we have is your word against… well, against _history_."

The female elf clenched her jaw together hard and looked at her Commander with a hot determination. Then she suddenly seemed to calm down. She took a breath and looked Root squarely in the eye.

"Julius…" she said, completely ignoring protocol now, "I was _killed_ on Hybras years ago. _That_ was history. If it weren't for Artemis, I would have been rotting away for an eternity on that piece of rock. He brought me back."

All eyes were now on Holly, three pairs in shock, one pair- Fowl's- in slight puzzlement and accompanied by a pair of lips that were pressed firmly against one another.

"What did you say?" asked Root slowly, brow furrowing sharply. It looked almost like he was now trying to decide Holly's sanity as well.

"I died," said Holly carefully, but bluntly, "but Artemis took advantage of an instability in time to bring me back. _That's_ who he is, not the guy you're describing." She seemed not to show any emotion about what she was saying.

A short silence followed, broken only by Trouble Kelp.

"And you never reported this?" he asked, incredulous.

Commander Root shifted a shocked look from Holly to Trouble now.

"You mean you believe her!?" he exclaimed.

"I have no reason not to," replied the elf easily, though even as he said it, he still looked skeptical, which was quite understandable.

"Look," said Foaly suddenly, "it really doesn't matter whether that was true or not. It proves nothing."

"Then I'll leave," said Artemis softly.

All eyes jerked over to look at the boy, who in turn looked straight at Commander Root.

"I'll leave Haven and go aboveground. You can put me under surveillance," he continued, "But give me two weeks. If I don't find any leads on the Book of Ages, you can ignore the fact that my companions and I clearly are not of this timeline and proceed with wiping my memories."

Holly opened her mouth to object, but was silenced by a quick look and a shake of the head from Artemis.

Commander Root regarded the boy carefully. His tone was resigned, but what he said was clearly a challenge. And more than one part of Root wanted him to be right.

The old commander turned to Foaly.

"Get a transport ready for tomorrow morning," he ordered, "Paradizo's still on sabbatical, we can have her run security for us. She's a smart girl." He left out the important part of the comment, but was sure Foaly understood it: Minerva would be able to stop the boy if he was indeed a traitor.

**

* * *

Present Time**

"I certainly do hope you're right…" breathed Artemis.

"Please find something soon," implored Holly. They both knew what would happen if he didn't.

"I wouldn't worry about that too much," the boy gave her a weak smile, "Besides, I might be able to convince to convince Minerva to help us."

Holly was not particularly assured by that. She never did trust the girl much in her own time- however redeemed she may have appeared.

'_I guess everyone's being suspicious nowadays…'_ she thought morosely.

"Why don't you go to sleep Holly?" said Artemis, "It's getting late."

"What about you?" asked the elf.

Artemis glanced over at the open Book on Holly's table.

"I think I'm going to start looking for clues," he said as he stepped closer to examine the pages, "you never did get a chance to tell me what changed."

"Well unlike last time," responded Holly, "these instructions seem pretty clear to me."

The boy looked hard at the gleaming symbols and muttered the words on the page in a flowing, accented Gnommish.

_Find my map and find my key,_

_Without these, you'll forever be,_

_Lost in time and lost in space,_

_Never seeing the Hidden Place._

_Seek now my key upon tallest stone,_

_Where bravest of dwarves did carve alone,_

_The grand old halls of ancient city,_

'_Neath ice and wind that know no pity._

_Seek ye my map in the wat'ry deep,_

_Near light in darkness that doth keep,_

_Its dwellers safe from crushing power,_

_Find my place, here, in this tower._

Artemis considered the words only briefly.

"Sounds like Shambhala and Atlantis to me," he said, giving Holly a questioning look.

Holly nodded, no longer surprised at the boy's knowledge of fairy history.

"My thoughts exactly." Suddenly, the elf's expression brightened considerably. She gave a short laugh.

"What's funny?" asked Artemis, raising an eyebrow.

"Well," said Holly, "if you really can't find anything in two weeks… we'll just tell Julius you found _this_." She pointed at the Book. "Until then, we'll just keep quiet about it."

"And withhold information from the Commander?" asked the boy wryly. It seemed a bit subdued, though, compared to his usual behavior.

"I think you're rubbing off on me," noted Holly with a small smile.

"Is that a good thing?" questioned the boy, turning serious.

"Probably not," answered Holly jokingly.

Artemis abruptly frowned, apparently missing any new attempt at levity in the situation. This did not go unnoticed by Holly.

"I'm joking, Arty," assured the elf quickly, "We both know you're _not_ a bad person."

"I guess…" muttered Artemis, sounding unconvinced.

Holly suddenly let out a long yawn, barely covered with a hand.

"If that's all, you might want to get some sleep. After all, you have a trip to the jolly old Paradizo residence bright and early tomorrow," she said with more than a little hint of sarcasm.

Artemis furrowed his brow. He was confused at the elf's tone, but decided not to pursue it, chalking it up as one of those things about women he could not hope to understand.

"Good idea," he said instead, unfolding the sheets on the floor a bit awkwardly until Holly helped him on the other side. When they were done, both stood up in unison.

"Well," said Fowl after a moment's silence, "good night then, Holly."

"You too," responded the elf, walking towards her own room while stifling another yawn. "Try not to think too much," she advised.

Artemis watched her retreating form in the dim lighting, still stretching her civilian clothes towards their limit with her new size. Somewhere in the back of his head, he remembered that it wasn't polite to stare, but that part was conveniently ignored for now.

"Oh, and Holly," he called out, just as her hand touched the door to her room. She turned around to look at him.

"Um… thanks," he said hesitantly, "thanks for changing me so I didn't end up like _him_."

Holly sent him a tired, but clearly happy smile.

"I'm glad I did."

* * *

"So basically, Commander, you're asking me to babysit?"

Commander Root quickly turned red as he heard Minerva's laughing tone through the voice connection. He was sitting in his makeshift office in the shuttle repair facility. All the other officers had already gone home hours ago and he- being Commander and all- was left to close up shop. That- and he had to make some arrangements.

"No, Paradizo," he growled, "I'm asking you to make sure he doesn't let out any information about Haven but let him do a bit of his own research."

"Just who is he?" asked the woman, "This isn't exactly a normal assignment, especially after that thing at the prison."

"He's the guy you got out of there- the human, I mean."

"Is he actually a criminal then?" questioned Minerva with genuine curiosity, but without any fear.

"We're…" Root hesitated, "we're not sure."

"You obviously don't know much about him," noted the woman, "Ah… I see," she chuckled, "You want me to get inside his head."

"In a manner of speaking," muttered Root, "You think you can handle that?"

"Moi?" asked Minerva in mock shock, "Me, making sure a grown man doesn't die from starvation in my own house and then making small talk with him? Maybe if I tried very,_ very_, hard Commander."

"You're place in the Pennines is okay, right?" asked the Commander, ignoring her sarcasm.

"Sure," she responded easily, "the place is so empty these days I swear I hear an echo in here half the time."

"Tomorrow morning then," said Root, "the usual place in the mountains."

**

* * *

Dark Peak, Morning**

Holly watched silently as Artemis appraised the woman as if he had never met her before. It was actually appropriate on several levels, but somehow, it made her slightly uncomfortable. Despite his attentiveness, Artemis looked tired, and acted like it all through the ride up. Holly had suspicions that he might have been working later than he was supposed to be last night, despite his promise to rest.

For her part, Minerva just looked surprised- probably at the fact that Artemis was still dressed in bright orange.

"Miss Paradizo," greeted the boy with his usual stiff handshake, "uh, please excuse my attire, I haven't had the opportunity to get new clothes."

"Sean, is it?" she asked, raising an eyebrow slightly, "Is this how you always greet women?"

Artemis' face turned a peculiar shade of pink, and he opened his mouth, but remained silent. Holly had only seen this happen a few times before, but that was back in their own world when Foaly had been making girlfriends jokes about, well, about the present company. Apparently, Artemis still had not learned any comebacks to this kind of thing.

Minerva laughed jovially at Artemis' expression.

"Oh, don't worry about that. I'm fairly sure my brother wouldn't mind if you borrowed some of his clothes from the summer home. You look about his build- he's quite tall for his age."

She walked over and opened the driver's side door, stepping inside and waving Artemis over to the other side. The boy turned back, and with a final wave, he pointed at the communicator-ring on his finger and nodded to Holly. It was probably the closest he had ever gotten to saying the words, 'I'll call you.' With that, he disappeared inside the simple beige sedan, which rolled off seconds later.

Holly turned to see Lili, in her captain's uniform, giving her a strange look.

"Well, _that _was fun," she said sarcastically, "I still don't know why you would insist on coming up here this early in the morning." She gave a theatrical yawn, and for a moment, Holly was tempted to use that as an excuse to take over driving the shuttle on the way back. "Shall we go back and see Nº1 now?"

"Yes," responded Holly, giving the quickly-receding vehicle a last look before following the other elf towards the holographic rock that hid the shuttleport, "let's go see Nº1."

**

* * *

San D'Klass Memorial Hospital, Haven City**

Lieutenant Colonel Holly Short woke up with a start. Her head jerked left and right as she realized that she was sitting halfway up in a medical bed of some sort. A pulse monitor was strapped onto her index finger and a blanket was covering her up to her chest. Her throat felt dry, but that wasn't a concern right now.

"Foaly!" she croaked as soon as she saw the centaur bent over reading one of the monitors on the wall of the room.

"Hey," greeted the centaur excitedly, turning and grinning widely, "welcome back Holly! I was wondering when you'd be up."

"What's going-"

"Relax," said Foaly, "you're in Haven. The Mud Men are far away. You can have some _real_ carrots and some beetle juice later if you want. No more of that processed stuff from aboveground."

Holly stared at him for a good few seconds, as if trying to orient herself even while letting his words sink in. Memories started coming back. Her friend was right, her last months had been spent in a solitary cell in an aboveground prison- and the food really _did _taste fake.

But then the more important things came back.

A fairy, and a Mud Man had opened her cell- an elf at that.

And then there was-

"Trouble!" she cried suddenly, her eyes widening and looking frantically at the centaur, "Foaly, I saw Trouble!"

Foaly glanced briefly at the shuttered window in the nearby door, and then looked back at the elf. He shifted from hoof to hoof as he answered.

"Yes… you did…" he responded haltingly, "But he's not who you think he is."


	26. Uncomfortable Relations

**A/N: **Hello. I know it's been nearly three weeks. Before you all decide to beat me up with buzz batons, please understand that I'm an overworked, sleep deprived student who was recently sick. And I'm sorry. Okay, I'll go do my Dobby-style self-punishment thing now.

* * *

**Artemis Fowl: The Book of Ages**

Uncomfortable Relations

**

* * *

Manchester Marriot William and Mary Hotel**

The man some knew as Hunter rubbed his neck gingerly, pressing a finger against the small gauze bandage taped on one side.

"I want _names_ Director," he said coldly into the speaker of the room's only telephone. He didn't raise his voice at all, but his tone spoke volumes more than his words did. "I don't care whether it was humans, fairies or little blue space aliens- tell me who escaped."

He listened for a few seconds as the man tried to explain himself. His scowl grew more and more pronounced with every word he heard.

"I see," he said finally. "And they broke into your security as well… Mr. Templeton," he now spoke as if lecturing a small child, "if this is indeed the state of your defenses, I would strongly recommend speaking with the Magical Creatures Detention Commissioner. I met with him a while ago to offer the prisons a license for the use of my Eternity Encryption algorithm. Maybe now he'll listen."

Another pause.

"Of course, Director. Please, do let me know how the search goes."

He hung up the phone with a quiet click. Pulling off the medical tape, Fowl threw the gauze into a nearby trash bin. There wasn't even a wound to speak of, really. He pulled out the handle of his only suitcase and without another look back, stepped out of the room and closed the door. Crossing the few feet between his room and the one right next to it, he rapped a knuckle on the wooden door.

"Opal, we're leaving- now," he said sternly.

* * *

**Dark Peak, Derbyshire, England**

To another Artemis, things _almost_ made sense now. Of course, that would entail ignoring a lot of other things that seemed almost impossible, but he had realized that for a person in his position, 'impossible' needed a new definition.

Even the prisoners' remarks back in Strangeroads made a sort of sense now.

Murmansk, a 'hellhole'? Very likely he'd made it that way- for criminals at least. Naturally, the Sicilian Cosa Nostra would send people to Russia- they needed to rebuild after the Russian Mafiya had been decimated.

His research from last night had been particularly enlightening.

He had a good idea now as to why his counterpart had made such incredible leaps in nuclear technology, despite the fact that he himself had never done any especially serious research in it. His only contribution to the nuclear energy field had been a pair of literature review articles written under the pseudonym Emsey Squire.

Well, _he_ may not have known much about fusion, but fairies certainly did. And of course, the other Fowl just conveniently had one of the People's most brilliant- albeit somewhat insane and now human- scientists seemingly constantly by his side.

Then there were the cases of corporate espionage, forced takeovers and various other acts of business-related mischief, but that would have been expected, and nothing compared to what happened in Russia.

Artemis Fowl closed his eyes and let out a small sigh.

"Feeling alright, Sean?" asked the woman sitting next to him.

The boy opened his eyes and glanced over at Minerva. He still couldn't believe it was her.

"I'm fine," he said dully.

A minute of quiet passed by in the car as the steady thrum of the road beneath the tires filled the air.

"Not very talkative, are you?" asked Minerva, keeping her eyes straight ahead.

"Should I be?" the boy asked back.

Minerva shrugged her shoulders slightly. "It doesn't really matter to me," she said indifferently.

But Artemis thought otherwise. There was something about the way she had been inconspicuously observing him throughout their first meeting and now the car ride that told him she had an agenda in mind.

His suspicions were confirmed not a second later.

"So," she questioned casually, "is there anything I should know about you besides that you're wearing a mismatched iris cam, your left index finger is longer than your middle finger and that Sean is almost certainly not your name?"

Artemis saw the blonde smirk slightly, obviously expecting him to be astonished at her keen observation. She hadn't gotten quite everything right, but it was more than most people could claim for a two minute meeting and a five minute drive. His face remained blank, and he saw her frown just a little at his lack of reaction.

"Not really," he answered, deciding not to correct her.

He noticed Minerva studying him quietly from the corner of her eye, trying to guess at the reason behind his lackluster responses, no doubt. If she only knew…

There were, in fact, many things he wanted to say to, or rather, ask her. Certainly her understanding of this timeline would be a valuable resource. But he wouldn't ask right now.

"I don't suppose you have a girlfriend, do you?" she asked, the tiniest hint of sarcasm in her voice.

Artemis was a bit too thrown by the question to note anything that her tone implied though.

"Excuse me?"

"You don't," Minerva answered her own question simply, without waiting for a proper response from the Irish teen.

"And what makes you say that?" asked Fowl, his brow furrowing as he turned to look at her.

The woman gave a short laugh.

"Any girl would be bored half to death with your _amazing_ conversational skills," she explained, "Sorry, but it's the truth."

Somehow, Artemis couldn't imagine the Minerva he knew saying something like that. In his opinion, many of their conversations were actually fairly interesting, even if they were mostly over games of chess. It wasn't every day that he could ridicule the latest addition to string theory with robust mathematical refutations and have someone who not only understood, but contributed.

He decided then not to show her any more of his conversational skills. Instead, he stayed silent and wondered just how he had gotten himself into such a strange, strange situation.

* * *

The Paradizo summer house wasn't exactly what Artemis had expected. A relatively modest little cottage near a babbling stream and surrounded by more than a little forest, it was pretty- and could probably be seen as picturesque- but it was a far cry from the elegant chateau Minerva's father owned in France.

Artemis never knew the Paradizos had a house in England. Then again, he never knew that his own family owned a small house on an island off the coast of Canada until he was nearly seven. That would be considered a long time for a child as knowledgeable as he was, but sometimes, when one such as Artemis Fowl Senior had business to take care of, these things tended to lay forgotten for a while. To this day, the boy had never been to that house- he simply shrugged it off as one of his family's far-flung properties.

"You live here alone?" asked Artemis, when Minerva herself opened the door and ushered him in. Even if it was more or less clear by now that the woman had no bodyguard, Fowl had expected at least a butler, or a maid, or… _somebody_.

Minerva closed the door behind them and raised both eyebrows as she turned to Artemis.

"Surprised?"

"I'm not sure," replied the boy truthfully. He was really beginning to wonder how the little girl he had met in his time became this person before him.

"Well don't worry, I'm only here for a few more months until my sabbatical is up and I return to Paris," said Minerva as she swept past him and into the house, flicking several switches which made the drapes automatically pull aside the let in the morning sun. "In the meanwhile," she added, "I'm a big girl. I'm sure I can take care of myself."

She turned her head back to look at Artemis. At this point, Fowl could have sworn that she winked at him. It was a very odd experience, and it caught the teen more than a little off guard.

He remembered, of course, the general meaning of such gestures in terms of non-verbal communications and social interaction- in theory. But he suddenly forgot what the appropriate response was. Was there an appropriate response at all?

Then again, with his teenage hormones and all, he might have just imagined it.

"Would you like tea?" asked Minerva suddenly, saving Artemis any further embarrassment.

"Yes please. Earl Grey, if you have it," he replied. As the woman moved off into the small recessed kitchen, Artemis seated himself on one of the simple wooden chairs that lined what he supposed was the dining table (it was a bit larger than Holly's, but given that this was the residence of a rather rich human, it struck the boy as a bit odd).

'_Please?'_ Artemis thought abruptly, _'Since when have I used that word?'_

He sighed. He was going soft.

'_Oh well, I suppose at least Mother would be proud,'_ he thought wryly.

**

* * *

San D'Klass Memorial Hospital, Haven City**

Lieutenant Colonel Holly Short stared at her longtime friend Foaly as if he had just decided that the most advanced piece of technology he was ever going to use again was an abacus. That, and he'd trash all technology invented after the abacus.

After all, even that proclamation would be slightly more believable than all the time traveling business he had been blabbering about. An alternate version of herself- really!

"Foaly…" she said slowly, "I think you need to lay off the video games." The elf tapped the side of her head with a thin finger. "They're messing with your head."

The centaur crossed his arms with a huff.

"Even you said you saw Trouble," he countered, "and we both know he's… gone."

Holly suddenly bit down on her lip and looked away. She gripped the covers on her bed even more tightly now.

"It was… it was probably just wishful thinking," she said quietly.

"And I'm telling you it's not!" cried Foaly, "Except he's well… you know…" he trailed off.

The elf slowly lay back down on the bed, staring at the ceiling above her without really looking at anything.

"Yeah, sure…" she sighed, sounding tired and unconvinced, "Can you just let go home now? Julius can court martial me later if he wants to."

Foaly gawked at her.

"You mean you don't even want to know how you got out?" he asked incredulously.

"I don't really care…" Holly muttered, "I'm here, aren't I?"

"But- but you _hated_ that place!"

"Yeah, and who's to say _this_ is much better!?" the elf suddenly snapped back fiercely.

Foaly opened his mouth to respond, but nothing came out. He closed it again, and after staring at Holly for a few more seconds, frowned and lowered his head.

"Holly, you have to let it go…" he said quietly. Without waiting for an answer, he trotted to the door and put a hand on the knob. "Why don't you take a few hours of rest? I'll come check on you in a little bit. Maybe afterwards, you'll feel better."

With the female elf staring after him, Foaly stepped out and gently closed the door.

Holly Short didn't sleep.

* * *

"It's really quite peculiar, odd, abnormal, you know?" Nº1 lifted and lowered a stone arm almost like a dumbbell that he couldn't put down.

"Can you feel the arm at all?" asked Trouble, staring at him while sitting on a plastic chair next to the bed.

"Actually, I can," responded the imp, "It's sort of like having a giant scab and you can't get to the real skin. I'll be able to get rid of it, once I get my magic back," he paused. "I think."

"We should definitely contact Artemis though," said the elf, "From what you're describing, he's the only other human who-"

But Trouble was interrupted by the pneumatic hiss of a sliding door and the slight _clop-clop_ of Foaly entering the room.

Trouble looked over at the centaur and asked immediately.

"Is she alright?"

"Yeah," he replied finally, "she's awake too."

Foaly hesitated and gave Trouble a strange look.

"Uh, Major," he said slowly, "I need to have a word with you… about…" he nodded towards the room he just came out from.

"Excuse me," interrupted Nº1 curiously, "but who's 'she'?"

"Holly Sho-" began the centaur.

But the door opened again. And speak of the devil…

Only, it wasn't a devil. Or even an imp.

"Foaly, I'm going home," announced a disheveled and slightly red-eyed LEP Lieutenant Colonel.

Then Holly seemed to finally see the room's other occupants. Amazingly, the sight of a demon didn't seem to faze her. At least, not in comparison to her reaction to seeing Trouble Kelp.

Her eyes locked onto the Commander's face and her expression was frozen into one that might have been expected from a person who was seeing, well, a dead person walking around.

For a moment, the gentle hum of the hospital machines seemed to fill the room.

Then Holly began walking forward as if in a daze, though her eyes never wavered.

"Holly," warned Foaly suddenly in a pleading tone, reaching out a hand as if to stop her, "I told you, he's not the same Trouble!"

But the elf didn't look as if she heard him.

She stopped in front of the Commander and put a trembling hand against his cheek. She flinched slightly as if the solidity of Trouble's face had physically shocked her, but continued to trace the edge of his jaw with shaking fingers.

Needless to say, it was more than a little awkward for Trouble Kelp.

"N-nice to see you're awake Capt- I mean, Lieutenant," he stammered, staring wide-eyed at the female elf.

"You're alive…" whispered Holly breathlessly, "You came back…"

"Well, about that…" began Trouble.

He never did get to finish his explanation. He really did want to explain what was going on.

There was only one _slight_ issue: it's rather difficult to speak when one has a pair of soft elfin lips mashed against one's own.

Nº1 blinked. Nobody had mentioned anything about Lieutenant Short to him. He had yet to even actually see _Captain_ Short.

Foaly groaned softly in dismay and covered his face with a hairy hand.

The imp leaned to the side of the bed and whispered to the centaur.

"Say, Foaly," he asked softly, not taking his eyes off the scene before him, "just how long have I been out?"

Foaly groaned again, louder this time.

**

* * *

The Paradizo Summer Residence, Derbyshire, England**

"You beat me," stated Artemis Fowl with mild surprise.

He was dressed now in a pair of dark blue jeans and a pressed white shirt rather than his prison clothes- courtesy of Minerva raiding her brother's wardrobe. It certainly wasn't Artemis' usual look, but it was much better than bright orange.

Before the teen sat a beautiful metal and glass chess set on a wooden table. It might have been more beautiful to Artemis if his black king hadn't been surrounded by a translucent queen, knight and bishop. But it was.

"You're very good," complimented Minerva appreciatively, nodding more at the board than at the boy. "I haven't seen somebody open with the Bashkir Maneuver since Reginald Minsk played against that chess computer back in oh-nine."

She took a sip of Earl Grey tea.

"Do you play competitively?" she asked.

Artemis shook his head. "Not really," he replied, "but _you_ certainly should."

Minerva laughed. "It was a much closer game than it looked. Besides, my work usually keeps me too busy to really play."

She began resetting the board.

"So Sean," Minerva asked casually, "do you do anything with your spare time besides play board games and break fairies out of prison?"

Artemis smiled a little.

"This and that," he responded evasively. Somehow, it didn't feel right to lie outright to the woman. "Though I suppose helping the People has been taking up more time recently."

That much was true.

"I suppose we're in the same boat then," replied Minerva.

"And what of yourself, Miss Paradizo?" asked Fowl back at the blonde.

"Oh, me?" she responded, "I'm a quantum physicist. I build warp engines and time machines and such."

She looked up at Artemis' frozen expression and laughed again.

"I'm sorry, I can't help it. I'm an associate professor at the École Polytechnique in Paris. I sometimes do work with CERN- but we're not _anywhere_ near a time machine," she corrected with a smile. "No matter how much I wish we were," she added.

Artemis relaxed a little and tried to act a little more surprised than he actually was. Minerva's position didn't shock him that much, so her mention of time machines probably unintentionally helped his façade. She did, after all, calculate the space-time coordinates for a demon landing as a twelve-year-old back in his own time.

"And you moonlight as a Humane," commented Artemis.

"Ah, that's nothing my co-workers need to know about," she waved off.

It was certainly something Artemis wanted to know about though.

"Now then," said Minerva as she put the last chess piece back in place, "Your friends should have made it back to Haven by now. I assume you'll need to make contact with them?"

"Yes, I do," replied the boy.

"Do you have your own way of calling them?" she asked as she stood up and collected her cup and saucer.

Artemis nodded.

"You can use my brother's room if you wish. I won't bother you- we wouldn't want to incur the wrath of our mutual friend Mr. Paranoid Centaur."

* * *

"You might as well have sent me a politician, Commander," said Minerva into her Bluetooth headset. "His responses are about as slippery as your average lawyer's."

The woman currently sat alone in her own room with the door closed. On the two computer screens in front of her, a muted video of the last hour taken by a hidden security camera in the living room played out.

She was no expert in body language, but she suspected that even if she was, the boy's movements wouldn't have told her much.

Commander Root sighed at his end of the communication, causing Minerva to hear a slight wave of static.

"That's why we need you to keep an eye on him."

"Yes, well it'd be easier if I knew what I was dealing with," said the woman.

"I can't tell you exactly…" muttered Root, "our current information is a bit… strange, so we need a fresh view on the subject."

"Of course…" Minerva rolled her eyes and looked back at the screens. "I'll contact you again when I get something concrete."

**

* * *

San D'Klass Memorial Hospital, Haven City**

Captain Holly Short hesitated as she stepped inside the occupied waiting room of the hospital.

Foaly heaved a sigh. "Hi Holly. As long as you're here, why don't you sit down so that we can properly explain things to you," he turned to the diminutive female elf already sitting across from him, "and _you_."

Lieutenant Holly Short currently sat across from the centaur, next to a visibly uncomfortable Trouble Kelp. She looked like she had been crying.

There really isn't an appropriate adjective to describe how awkward the atmosphere was.

The Lieutenant stared at the newcomer, who likewise stared back.

"So you're… me," stated the shorter elf.

The Captain shot Foaly a heated look, clearly unhappy with seeing her counterpart anywhere but a hospital bed or a psyche ward.

"Yes…" she replied slowly, taking a seat next to the centaur, "and now, your next question will be why I'm taller than you."

"I should _so_ turn this into a movie," muttered Foaly, looking between the people in the room.

And so, Holly Short- the time-traveler Holly, that is- launched _again_ into an explanation of how she got here- this time, with help from Trouble. They really did try to keep it brief- it was getting kind of repetitive.

Then, it was Foaly's turn to clear up a few things.

"I'm his WHAT!?!" cried Captain Short jumping up, her eyes flickering wildly between Foaly, Trouble, and the other Holly.

"Fiancée," said the Lieutenant simply, but with a grimace, "Or I _was_."

Holly looked at Trouble and blinked.

"Uh, Trouble, we're great friends and uh, you're a good guy and all but-"

The Commander raised his hands a little a shook his head.

"No need to say anything to _me_ Captain, this is as much news to me as it is to you."

A long silence settled into the room as each person tried to find something useful to say. It was Lieutenant Short who broke the silence.

"So… what now?"

It was then that something in Holly's pocket rang.

Holly took out her tiny silver communicator and scowled when she saw the name.

"Why now, Mud Boy?" she muttered.

"Holly," sighed Trouble, "why don't you put him on screen," he gestured to a television on one side of the room that had been quietly showing a news feed. "Let's get this over with."

The Captain shook her head as she plugged the device to the side of the screen.

"I'm going to regret this," she said under her breath.

The news gnome was replaced with the teenage visage of Artemis Fowl in a clean, sunlit room of some kind.

Nobody seemed to notice the Lieutenant's tightly clenched jaw and her dark expression.

"Hello Holly," greeted the boy, "I just called to get an update on Nº1. How is he?"

Only then did he seem to realize what he was seeing on the visual end of his communication.

He craned his neck forward for just a moment as if to see better before sitting back.

"Have I… called at a bad time?"

* * *

**A/N: **Too bad Artemis doesn't know the awkward turtle.


	27. Parallel Worlds and Zombie Cats

**A/N: **Ilex-forex has pointed out (correctly, as far as I know) that a person with the rank Lieutenant Colonel would be called Colonel, rather than Lieutenant for short. It's a bit late for me to go back and change all of the references to alternate-Holly's rank, so please excuse my carelessness for that. I'll continue using Lieutenant though, just to keep the references consistent. Also, cookies to anyone who can correctly name the phenomenon that is referred to here as 'zombie cats'.

* * *

**Artemis Fowl: The Book of Ages**

Parallel Worlds and Zombie Cats

* * *

_To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket - safe, dark, motionless, airless - it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation. The only place outside of Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell. – C.S. Lewis

* * *

_** Fowl Manor, Dublin, Ireland**

Artemis Fowl looked up from the eyepiece of an expensive-looking microscope. He closed his eyes and carefully brought his expression back to a passive and neutral one. Standing up, Fowl used a pair of thin silver tweezers to grab the tiny silver dart from the scope's viewing platform. It was barely half an inch long and tapered from a sharp piercing end to a three-finned tail that was thinner than a toothpick. Maybe once in the past, it would have been hard to believe that a device so small had caused a man so much annoyance, but it was the twenty-first century after all.

Not only that, it was _Foaly's_ twenty-first century work.

"You were right," announced Fowl to the only other person in the lab.

A raven-haired woman wearing a lab coat that seemed just a bit too big for her turned around from her bench.

"Of course I'm right," responded Opal Koboi. "Now, what of the many things that I'm right about are you referring to?"

Artemis almost laughed. Opal's open and rather vocal arrogance never ceased to amuse him.

"It's Foaly's work," he explained, dropping the hypodermic dart into a clear plastic bag and shutting it inside a drawer, "A small project of his, no doubt, but the design and the spatial proportions are definitely his style."

"So we're going to do something about it, right?" asked Opal, a dark smile starting to creep up her lips.

"Of course."

"Excellent," the former pixie clapped her hands together and promptly abandoned her previous project, turning instead to a laptop she had opened on the side. Revenge, after all, took precedence before most other things in Opal Koboi's world.

Artemis walked up behind her and saw that she had pulled up a file that she had entitled simply, well… 'Revenge.' In it were gigabytes worth of files, with names ranging from 'To Kill a Centaur,' to 'Pony on a Skewer.' It was all very unoriginal in Fowl's view, not tasteful at all, really. He would have almost expected some more creative names from a so-called evil super-genius.

But that was literary creativity, not rocket science. Rocket science was easy enough for the former pixie, finding interesting names for things was not.

"So, I was thinking we should do something dramatic, but fun," said Opal, sounding almost as if she were a little girl proposing a date.

But then she continued, "But I can't really decide: violent, gruesome, splatter-on-a-windshield kind of death, or the silent kind where nobody suspects anything…"

So much for dating.

Artemis gently shut the woman's laptop, allowing her fingers the briefest time to escape before he closed the lid completely.

"No murders," he said firmly, looking Opal straight in the eye.

"Wait, what?" exclaimed Koboi. Then she suddenly furrowed her brow and frowned, but got a thoughtful look. "Well, I guess torture would be alright, but only if _I_ get to do it," she paused, "but I really just want him dead."

Fowl sighed. "For the last time Opal, we are _not_ touching the centaur."

"But I thought since he made the dart-"

"I've explained this already," Artemis rolled his eyes, "with Foaly gone, the LEP loses completely within a month with minimal human casualties. And then the human coalition forces are free to move half their forces to attack Atlantis. One city down."

"And this is bad… why?" questioned Opal sarcastically.

"You know exactly why," said Fowl frowning ever so slightly.

The woman jutted out her lower lip. It reminded Artemis faintly of why humans had once considered pixies cute. But only very faintly. And of course, no one would be caught calling Opal Koboi 'cute.' No one who cared to live for much longer, that is.

"Warmonger," she accused unhappily.

Fowl raised an eyebrow. "_You're_ calling _me_ a warmonger?"

"That's what I said, wasn't it?" Opal shot back.

"Oh well. Truth is truth, I suppose." The man shrugged. "But there are other ways of doing something without killing- or maiming- the centaur."

"Like what?"

The Hunter showed a small smile and gained a slight gleam in his eye.

"First, we need to find out exactly _who_ needs a… friendly reminder… that one does not cross my path."

**

* * *

San D'Klass Memorial Hospital, Haven City**

Their next course of action was more easily decided than Holly would have thought.

Nº1 had confirmed that the Book's references to maps to keys probably pointed to the ancient cities of Shambhala and Atlantis. As such, trips were in order. There was a slight issue with that though: Shambhala had been abandoned by its fairy occupants hundreds of years ago- it was now little more than a very well hidden ghost town.

Still, work had to be done, and preparations had to be made for a search for the pieces of the puzzle that would let them get one step closer to finding the Book of Ages.

There was the other matter too.

"You're saying Opal got her magic back?" asked Artemis, frowning deeply as he spoke with the fairies through the C Cube's visual link.

Nº1 nodded grimly. "It's very likely," he lifted his petrified arm slightly, "And it's unnatural magic too."

The young warlock had been allowed out of the bed and was currently sitting in the hospital waiting room with everyone else, contributing his magical knowledge to the makeshift conference.

"I had thought that petrification was a demon art," questioned Fowl, "How did she do it?"

"You tell me," shrugged Nº1, "after all, you're the only human who-"

Artemis raised a finger, stopping the demon mid-sentence.

"I'm sorry," he apologized quickly, "Excuse me, Foaly, Lieutenant Colonel, would you two mind if my friends and I spoke privately?"

"Why?" Foaly asked suspiciously.

"It's… a complicated matter," sighed Artemis, "Some points will need to be raised that will bring about unnecessary concern since you two don't know what we do about our timeline. Believe me Foaly, it's nothing that would harm the People." The teen spread his arms and gave a small smile. "After all, if I did anything, I'm quite sure Miss Paradizo would be authorized to incapacitate me. I'm undoubtedly being watched right now…"

"I checked your electronics last time!" objected Foaly indignantly, "You're using a secure channel, wiretapping is impossible."

Artemis chuckled.

"I have my doubts that you so-called 'secure channels' would do much to deter Miss Paradizo," he noted, but quickly continued before the centaur could argue, "But that is beside the point. Security is the not my concern here. Privacy is simply to ensure the greater good for all of us involved."

Foaly finally understood. He gave a quick glance at the elf who was sitting next to Trouble. The Mud Boy was perceptive- that he had to admit. Given Lieutenant Short's disposition towards humans, any misunderstandings could easily turn very complicated.

"You may be right Fowl…" said the centaur slowly. He turned to the Lieutenant Colonel. "Come on, Holly, let's get you home."

"What? Mud Boy needs to say some dirty little secrets and we can't be around to hear it?" said the Lieutenant, scowling.

Captain Short shot her counterpart a harsh look. "For you information, _Artemis_ stopped you from killing me!" she hissed, "_He_ isn't the dangerous one here."

The two elves glared at each other for a good few seconds. Mercifully, someone intervened before a nasty- though very possibly amusing- argument occurred.

"Why don't I, ah… escort Lieutenant Short back to her apartment," offered Trouble Kelp gallantly but with a tight and slightly tense smile, "I should probably also report to the Commander about planning a trip to Atlantis."

The Lieutenant's scowl slipped just a little, and she glanced quickly towards Trouble before looking away. But she got up.

"Fine," she muttered.

When Trouble and Holly were out of the room, the Holly left inside grabbed Foaly's arm as he was about to follow.

"You're just going to let her go like that?" she asked angrily.

"Don't worry," replied the centaur with a bit of nervousness, "We'll keep an eye on her."

With that, he too left the room. Now Artemis had his privacy. But perhaps understandably, he wasn't exactly sure why.

"This had better be good Arty," grumbled Holly at the boy's image on the screen, "I have a feeling I'm not going to be able to look Trouble in the eye for a long time after this."

"And why exactly is that…?" asked Artemis.

Nº1 quipped in. "That would be because in this world, Holly and Trouble were-"

"That's not important," interrupted the elf quickly, her cheeks tinged slightly pink. "What were you saying that was so important that you had to kick Foaly out?"

Artemis paused for a second, as if trying to process what he was hearing. But then he cleared his throat and explained.

"Well, we have a possible case of an evil genius human running around with magical powers- that's Opal, mind you. It wouldn't exactly help my case for innocence if Foaly suspects that I'm likewise an evil genius human… who now is known to once have had magic."

"Wonderful…" muttered Holly. She might have said something about the arrogance of Fowl calling himself a genius, but decided against it. He was right, after all.

"I think I know how Opal got her powers though," interjected Nº1.

Two pairs of eyes landed on him immediately- though one from a screen on the surface.

"Look here," he said, lifting his arm.

"I can't see it," said Artemis, squinting a little at the camera.

Holly looked over curiously at the demon. "It looks like a bandage on the inside of his elbow…" she said slowly, "only it's been petrified too."

"Right," commented Nº1, "I think they had a needle in me. But I'm pretty sure it wasn't an injection, since they put me to sleep with something on a piece of cloth Opal held against my nose. It smelled really bad."

"Ether, most likely," Artemis clarified, "or chloroform. It's general anesthesia that would render someone unconscious for a few hours."

"Um, yeah, of course," said Nº1, sounding not very sure at all, "Anyway, I was thinking about what you two said when you came back from the past last time- about Opal's experiments with animal products."

Artemis' eyebrows raised a bit as he caught on. "And if we never stopped her in this timeline, her experiments would have progressed. You think she made a magic booster…"

"… with your blood," finished Holly with a horrified look on her face.

Nº1 reacted the least. "It's very possible. Demons are the only race with petrification abilities, and it's a well known fact that the blood of all magical races carries some power."

"Then why hasn't this been done before?" asked Artemis.

"The Haven Magical Experimentation Treaty, Section 2, Article 18," cited Nº1 without pausing.

Holly gave the young imp a very flat look.

"What?" he asked when he saw the elf's expression, "Qwan was obsessed with all the history he missed while he was a statue, and he made me study it too."

"What's the Haven Treaty?" asked Artemis, looking slightly annoyed that he didn't already know.

"Well, back around thirty four hundred years ago, there were a few political disagreements over the use of magic that had been developed for use in case of another human attack, so-"

"The short version," Holly cut in, "_please_."

Nº1 huffed a little. "It banned the use of magic boosters and stopped an underground arms race."

"And now Opal has advanced that technology again…" concluded Artemis.

"It's not like we were around to stop her," commented Holly dryly.

**

* * *

The Short Residence, Haven City**

You had to feel sorry for Lieutenant Colonel Holly Short. In a different way (but perhaps no less), you had to feel sorry for Trouble Kelp.

Foaly the centaur was just kind of stuck in the middle.

As it was, the ride to Holly's apartment had, for the most part, been relatively uneventful. In fact, barely anyone said a word. Holly spent most of it staring outside at the artificial twilight of Haven City, one that nowadays varied only between this lighting and a nighttime lighting (one of the two remaining power plants in the fairy-controlled section of the city had failed weeks ago, robbing its inhabitants of the artificial day). A brighter section of sky hung over the west like a weak and hazy dawn, but that only served to show how much of the city was controlled by the human army.

There were two things that Holly thought an elf in her situation would be doing. One was to constantly glance (or really, to just openly stare) at the person in the driver's seat. The other was to absently play with the engagement ring that hung next to her copy of the Book on her neck.

She pointedly refused to do either.

And so, she arrived at her apartment without doing very much at all.

But then Trouble volunteered to walk her to her room.

'_If only he wasn't such a damn gentleman!'_ thought Holly morosely. This would only complicate things.

She couldn't bring herself to refuse though.

"I'm… I'm sorry," Holly blurted out as soon as they had reached the foyer, "About before."

Trouble gave her an awkward little smile. "It's alright Lieutenant, you didn't know."

Lieutenant.

Holly consciously had to control her reaction to that. It was her rank, certainly, but that was just the problem. It was her _rank_. It wasn't even her _name_.

It wasn't anything _her_ Trouble would have called her.

Trouble said something about not being so critical of the Mud Boy, but by then, Holly had already stopped listening. He bade her good night once they reached her room, and she went inside and closed the door without looking up.

She looked around inside the darkened apartment. Everything she could see was the same. She was back in Haven, back in her own home, and soon would be back in her old bed. Everything before her was back to the way it was before her imprisonment.

She felt like screaming.

**

* * *

Paradizo Summer Residence, Derbyshire, England**

There was an oddly domestic scene to be seen in the little English cottage the next afternoon. It almost seemed rude to be doing what these two were in the face of a temporal catastrophe and very dangerous new enemies, but they didn't seem to care.

Artemis Fowl was peeling carrots.

He was _trying_ to be a good houseguest. After all, he was hardly one who found accepting someone's charity to be all that acceptable. This was the closest Artemis had gotten to actually making a meal since an ill-fated attempt at a sandwich for one Mulch Diggums quite a few years ago. Of course, he only remembered because such events were so incredibly rare.

Now, as peeling carrots didn't have a significant amount of advanced science involved, he wasn't particularly good at it. To Minerva's chagrin, the teen's cooking abilities did not extend too far beyond what he was doing now. Understandably, though there were a lot of vegetables to be cut, she was reluctant to hand him a knife.

"I told you to _peel_ the carrots, not to whittle them down to the size of a pencil!" cried the woman, dropping a large spoon next to the stew she had been working on, "We're supposed to cut them up after you're done, and I don't suppose you want a puree do you?"

Artemis might have opened his mouth to say something about Minerva's uptight French cooking standards, but then he remembered the Butler had learned to cook (or at least to cook well) while on a stint in Paris. So instead, he just shook his head mutely.

The blonde sighed heavily

"Sean, why don't you stir the broth? I'll take care of the rest."

* * *

In the end, Minerva managed to somehow save the carrots. The meal wasn't all that bad either.

All throughout lunch, Artemis couldn't help but wonder how the girl had gotten so independent- especially considering the state she had been in when he had last met her in his own time.

"So just how does a college professor get involved with the Humanes?"

Minerva paused and seemed to look a little past Artemis before snapping back to her usual little smirk and looking straight at him.

"I wouldn't know," she responded, shrugging, "I was still a student back then."

She lifted her cup and took a sip of tea.

Artemis was clearly not the only one in the house who could talk and yet say next to nothing at all. Two people in a house like that could drive each other insane. It was probably a good thing that the Irish teen didn't plan on staying too long.

"What about you?" asked the blonde, "I still have no idea why you're living in my house, you know."

"And yet you let me," stated Fowl dryly.

"Well?" retorted Minerva, ignoring Artemis' diversion.

Now it was Artemis' turn to sigh. He turned his head a little and gave the woman a sideways glance.

"Miss Paradizo, let us be frank. We both know that you're working with the LEP to try and pry as much information from me as possible."

Minerva twisted her bottom lip to one side and frowned, but didn't say anything.

"Commander Root doesn't trust me, but he knows enough so that he won't just push me aside. So instead, I'm up here on the surface, with you, making plans for a project that you have no knowledge of, so that you can observe my every move to see if and when I become a threat to the People's security." He paused. "And yet… you know less about me than I do about you."

The woman had no idea how true the last bit was.

"Not that you're a bad spy," added Artemis with a smile, "I just happen to have something of an unfair advantage."

Minerva gave him a hard stare, as if she was trying to pull information from his expression alone. After a few seconds, she sighed and set her cup down.

"So why tell me now?" she asked, "Why agree to come here at all?"

Artemis' smile disappeared.

"Minerva," he said, dropping the pretense of being a polite stranger, "I need your help. In fact, you are likely the only human who can help me at all." The boy paused and fingered the edge of his clean white plate. "My situation is rather… remarkable and most people would call me insane, but maybe you would understand."

He could see the woman's look change just a little, probably in anticipation. It didn't hurt that he purposely stoked her pride a little by singling her out as his only source of above-ground help. Unfortunately, it was probably true.

"Try me," responded the blonde wryly.

"Fine," said Fowl, "but I'll warn you that this will be a little more on the unbelievable side."

The edges of Minerva's lips twitched almost into a smile.

"Sean, or whatever your name is, I'm a quantum physics professor, remember? Parallel universes, wormholes, imaginary time, zombie cats and grandfather paradoxes are all just another lecture or paper to me."

"Then maybe there's hope yet," muttered Artemis under his breath.

"Try me," she repeated, "I can almost guarantee that you won't catch me _too_ off guard."

Fowl held his breath. If Minerva did actually believe him, then she would likely be more help than he had previously thought. But if she didn't…

He decided to start off with a big truth.

"You are aware of the Hybras catastrophe, yes?"

The woman's expression suddenly tightened, and she seemed to tense up slightly. But she nodded silently and let him continue.

"What if I told you there is a way to stop it from ever happening?"

"Impossible," Minerva responded in a sour tone, "if there was a way… if there was a way, I would have found it by now."

Artemis lifted his left hand and stretched out his middle and index fingers together in a clear show that they had quite unnatural lengths. He used both to point to a blue eye, then a hazel eye.

"Be careful when you say _impossible_, Minerva. You _are_ a quantum physicist, remember?"

* * *

**A/N:** I know I don't usually specifically ask people for reviews (though people are often kind enough to write a few anyway), but I'm slightly concerned about something. I generally prefer not to use OCs as major characters, but there are three in this story who would basically qualify (the alternate versions of Artemis, Holly and Minerva). I'd love some feedback on what people think of them (believable? interactions with others? etc), especially Holly and Minerva (since Artemis isn't very well developed yet). Thanks in advance!


	28. A Difference

**A/N: **Thank you all very, very much for the comments about Minerva and Holly. I've taken them into consideration while writing this chapter and will continue to do so for future chapters. Now, about my zombie cats challenge... you're all wrong! Yes, even those who said Schrödinger's cat. The thought experiment I referred to was indeed Schrödinger's cat, but I asked about the _phenomenon_ illustrated by it, which is actually called quantum decoherence. ;-) Keep that one in mind, it will come up again. But I realized that that was probably a bit mean, especially seeing as how you were all so nice in reviewing, so, you'll all get cookies. Just send me a self-addressed stamped envelope for each one, and I'll personally bake them for you.

* * *

**Artemis Fowl: The Book of Ages**

A Difference

* * *

Elves are by nature a very social species. Right now, solitude did not suit Captain Holly Short at all, especially after the events of the past few days. Any family members that she had been close to in her lifetime were gone- even in her own timeline, so she never relied on that. Maybe if she were back in her own time, she would have gone to a local tavern with a fellow LEP officer or dragged Foaly out of the lab to go with her and tossed back few cups of mango juice, banana milkshake, Atlantean ale, or a curious mix of all three.

Not that any tavern she knew of was open now though. But even if one was, going alone would seem strange (and for obvious reasons, she would not ask Trouble to come along). In any case, no self-respecting fairy went drinking at two in the afternoon anyway.

Holly would have preferred to be working in the streets right now, maybe venting her frustration by enforcing martial law or even just making food deliveries. But no. Commander Root had specifically told her that she was _not_ to be seen by any member of the police force who did not already know of her existence, especially now that the _other_ Holly was back too.

It would complicate things too much.

So as much as she didn't like it, Holly Short had been placed into another room in the LEP-controlled apartment and left to her own devices (with a strong _recommendation_ to stay put) while her counterpart was presumably throwing a fit over seeing her dead fiancé alive and well. Or so Holly thought.

Life was boring.

Holly furrowed her brow and shook her head at no one in particular.

'_That's weird,'_ she thought, _'I've lived alone for decades and it's never bothered me before…'_

'_It must be the new timeline,'_ Holly decided.

It was probably just that she had just gotten used to having somebody around- even at home- for the past few days. It was certainly more interesting than being alone, that much she would admit.

But of course, she didn't _miss_ the Mud Boy. He was with Minerva, planning the trip to Shambhala, right? Holly couldn't truthfully say that _that_ was too much more interesting than what she was doing now.

He was doing typical human stuff. Looking up legends and Himalayan maps and having the occasional lunch break, all in what looked to be a pretty little house with a pretty little girl hidden away in the mountains.

Well, maybe the little girl wasn't so little now.

But that didn't bother Holly Short. Not at all.

Still, she sort of felt like it would have been better if she had gone with the Mud Boy.

It was the sunlight, she decided. She missed _that_. That and the fresh surface air.

When you live your whole life underground, you tend to miss those things, right? Right. Absolutely.

But she didn't miss the person who was about to arrive at her door.

Holly almost jumped up in her seat when her thoughts were interrupted by a loud knocking on the door. With a slightly quizzical expression, she got up and opened it.

A face was looking straight ahead when she opened the door, and had to jerk upwards slightly to look Holly in the face. It did so with a slightly startled expression.

Unfortunately, that face was her own.

The shorter elf gasped seemingly involuntarily before shaking herself a little.

"Um, hello," she said hesitantly.

Captain Short sighed and wondered why nobody was keeping track of psycho-Holly and how she had gotten out of the apartment she was supposed to have stayed (and stayed watched) in.

"What do you want?" she asked tersely.

"I… I came to… apologize," said the elf, "about the… thing… in the prison."

The taller Holly grunted her acceptance.

Needless to say, she still wasn't about to go all chummy with her alternate self anytime soon.

"Anything else?" she asked.

"That's it, I think."

"Alright," replied the elf inside the apartment, quickly closing the door and giving a small sigh.

"No, wait!" came a cry from outside, "I mean, I wanted to talk to you."

Holly groaned slightly and opened the door a little bit.

"Yes?"

"Can I, uh, come in?" asked the Lieutenant, glancing around.

The Captain eyed her for a moment and then paused before opening the door wide. She didn't invite the other elf in though.

"Turn around, arms at your sides, straight out, feet apart," she commanded briskly.

The shorter Holly looked confused for just a second before understanding. With a look of slight disbelief and exasperation, she did as she was told. Captain Holly Short began patting her- herself- down for weapons.

To her, an apologetic psycho was still a psycho.

"This _really_ isn't necessary…" complained the Lieutenant as she was being expertly frisked.

"Like hell it isn't," muttered the elf doing the frisking. She looked up when she got to the Lieutenant's legs and saw her looking back and cringing a little. "Don't look at me like that," she snapped, "it's not like I don't know what your body feels like."

The elf being frisked had no quick response to that one. Who would?

Minutes later, Captain Short was sitting with herself across a high dining table. She was also wondering why she bothered to actually let the elf in. Maybe it was just morbid curiosity.

It was probably impolite not to even offer a drink to her guest, but Holly wasn't feeling particularly polite at the moment.

She sighed and looked at the elf who bore the exact same face as she did.

"Why are you here?"

"To find out how I could possibly turn out like _you_," replied the Lieutenant bluntly.

Holly cracked a humorless smile at that response.

"I could ask the same of you," she replied.

There was a moment of silence before the shorter elf suddenly spoke.

"You're working with a Mud Man!" she exclaimed in disbelief.

Annoyance flashed across the Captain's face and the edges of her lips turned down just a little.

"I am," she agreed calmly.

"Even after what happened to Mother?"

Holly's expression turned hard, but she nodded. "Artemis is not like those humans."

"Mud Scum can't be trusted! They may be allies one day, but as soon as they see something they want, they won't hesitate to put a bullet through you to get it- even among themselves!"

"I'd trust Artemis with my life," replied the Captain defiantly. It was true after all- she had done just that on almost too many occasions.

The Lieutenant took a breath and scowled, giving her counterpart a harsh, penetrating look.

"Do you know," she said slowly, "how _my_ Trouble died?"

"Commander Root told me that he was killed when Haven was first attacked," responded Holly with a frown.

The elf across from her visibly clenched both fists hard on top of the table.

"Julius lied to you, Holly," she said with barely-suppressed anger. She continued before the Captain could respond. "There was no _war_- Trouble was killed _before_ Haven was attacked."

* * *

**Paradizo Summer Residence, Derbyshire, England**

Minerva Paradizo looked at the teen in front of her curiously. He didn't seem _quite_ insane, and he was intelligent, no doubt. It'd be interesting to hear what kind of story he could concoct.

"The People developed temporal magic thousands of years before we even had sundials," explained Artemis Fowl.

"I know," she replied, "that's how the demons disappeared into Limbo, and how the LEP uses time-stops."

The teen sighed. "There's more to it than that. The ancient warlocks were able to not only stop time, but to send people and objects back in time."

"Then it's too bad they're _ancient_," said Minerva wryly, "I heard fantastic things about the demon warlocks." Her voice suddenly lowered to a near-whisper. "Thing is, the Eighth Family is extinct."

"That's where you're wrong, Minerva," said Fowl with a small smile.

The blond looked up at him with a questioning and very skeptical look.

"There are two demons still alive," continued Artemis, "but I'm afraid one of them is a stone statue and the other alone can't do anything to stop the Hybras landing."

* * *

"What?" asked Captain Holly Short in a low voice.

The Lieutenant gave her a tiny, sardonic smile.

"Julius didn't become Commander for his honesty. He became Commander because he knew how to make the LEP an effective peacekeeping force. If that meant he had to twist the truth every now and then, he did it, even if it bothered him."

"What happened?" asked the Captain. Right now, she would just consider what the other elf said lightly. She could always do a bit of fact-checking later on. But in any case, there wasn't any apparent motivation for her guest to lie about Trouble's death.

The Lieutenant gained a faraway look and stared at the wood grain on the table, but seemed to look past it.

"It was peacetime and we were on a diplomatic mission," she began, "I was on a squad along with Trouble and Captain Coal Vein, guarding Councilor Arbor during a meeting with an American diplomat in Dublin, where they were talking about how to handle the damage from Hybras. When the meeting was over, our EU escort brought us back to Tara. Then…"

_

* * *

Four fairies stood just outside the fairy fort at Tara. A highly decorated human military officer in an impeccably pressed white uniform stood before them, with six heavily armed and seemingly combat-ready soldiers behind him._

"_This is weird," whispered Major Holly Short under her breath, "what's with all the guns?"_

"_Keep your hair on, Holly," muttered Captain Vein, "it's probably just a display. Let the politicians handle this."_

"_You two, keep it down," hissed Colonel Kelp._

"_Councilor," said the military man in a level, measured tone, devoid of any noticeable emotion. "I've been ordered by my superiors to give you the following message before you leave."_

_He pulled out a large manila envelope that bore a complex seal on its cover and handed it to Councilor Arbor. It was easily the size of the elf's entire chest._

"_As of," the human glanced at his watch, "thirteen-hundred hours Greenwich Mean Time, the member states of the European Union have declared that a state of war exists between the member states of the European Union and Haven City of the People."_

_The old elf's mouth dropped._

"_What!?" he said in an ancient, screeching voice, "What is this?! The People have done nothing against you! What about the Americans who were working with us to repair the damage to New England?"_

"_There was no formal agreement between Haven City and the Government of the United States of America, sir," replied the man formally, "You will also find in the full text of the declaration of hostilities that the Americans are a signatory to the joint military action."_

_He paused, and a note of regret almost seemed to touch his features before it was once again covered by an impregnable mask of professionalism._

"_I am not authorized to speak any more of this, sir."_

_With that, the man turned on his heels and walked away quickly, his guards glancing back and forth wearily, looking all to eager to be aboard the waiting helicopter._

"_D'Arvit…" cursed Trouble breathlessly._

"_But there's no way," protested the old elf, starting to pull at the envelope, "it's impossible… thirteen-hundred hours… that's in… twelve minutes!"_

_He was interrupted when Trouble pushed him roughly by the abdomen into the fort._

"_Shut up Councilor, this is serious!" he cried, "Holly, shut the doors, Vein, order a full civilian evacuation. Take every available shuttle!" _

* * *

The elf suddenly cursed under her breath, shutting her eyes tightly as if seeing the events in her mind.

"The troops moved in on the fort minutes later. Trouble… he had to get to the security controls and reprogram the fort's DNA cannons to stun humans, but that took a while- we never thought we'd have to do that. He ordered me to get the councilor back to Haven."

* * *

"_I'm NOT leaving!" yelled Holly above the din of hundreds of panicked civilians._

"_I'm sorry Holly," said Trouble quietly, "it'll only be a little while." Then he raised his voice, "Captain Vein, take Major Short and the Councilor to the diplomatic shuttle- go with them, and launch."_

* * *

"The old Councilor even helped Vein drag me to the shuttle. But when we got there, Vein put in the launch codes and got out right before the shuttle moved. He disobeyed orders and went back to give Trouble backup. _D'Arvit_..." the elf cursed again, "_I_ should have been giving him backup."

The Lieutenant looked up and opened pained eyes to stare right at Holly's own.

"When I got back to Haven, Trouble called me and told me he was _sorry_," a single tear rolled down the elf's cheek, but she didn't seem to notice, "The DNA cannons did their job and no humans actually made it inside. But he had let the civilians take the last shuttle and had to wait for emergency help. He told me to wait just a little bit longer, and he'd be back."

* * *

"_Don't worry about me, Holly," said Trouble, giving her a wide smile that she had learned to love so much. "I'm surrounded by dozens of DNA cannons. A Mud Man couldn't even sneeze in here without being stunned before the snot cleared his nose."_

"_Just stay by the launch ramp!" cried Holly desperately at the screen, "The Wing Commander is sending the supersonic shuttle up."_

"_Nice," smiled Trouble, "I get to fly the supersonic ship… always wanted to do that."_

"_You'll be back… you'll be back," repeated Holly as if it was some lifesaving mantra._

"_Before you know it," agreed her fiancé._

* * *

The elf took a hard, shuddering breath.

"I was still talking to him when the plasma conduits in the fort exploded… I found out later that the Mud Men had called a precision air strike on the plasma generators feeding the cannons. The strike took down half the fort, Captain Vein, and…"

"My fiancé was vaporized in front of my eyes," the elf choked out.

Apart from a look of horror, Captain Short had no response to that. Who would?

* * *

"There's a way to prevent all of this," said the teen, "The landing, the war, even Haven's civil war."

"And what, pray tell, would that be?" asked Minerva skeptically.

"Both remaining demons are personal acquaintances of mine. One of them, you helped rescue from Strangeroads Prison."

Minerva's eyebrows shot up.

"Then I should very much like to meet him," she said with deceptive calm. Her mind was racing though. For some reason, this 'Sean' seemed sincere, and there was no doubt that his determination was real. Could it be possible? Could a demon have escaped the catastrophe?

"I've been working with him to find a way to solve this problem," he continued, "There are two artifacts that we need to find in order to use a very, very old magic which can fix the timeline."

"Fix?" asked Minerva, smirking slightly, "What, is our timeline broken or something?"

"No," replied Fowl, "not _our _timeline, _your_ timeline."

* * *

"How many Mud Men have you killed?" asked Lieutenant Short, suddenly drawing back her emotions and looking nearly calm again.

The Captain stared at her, too shocked by the question to answer.

The Lieutenant shook her head. "Fifteen minimum, for me. You can't always be sure when plasma grenades go off."

Holly wanted to say something, to call her a monster, an emotionless fiend, _anything_. But she couldn't.

"That's the difference between me and you, you see," said the shorter elf, "you're always going to be a police officer, nothing more. You can't fight in war. I'm a soldier- I don't make arrests."

The elf paused and her lips twitched a little.

"You carry a Neutrino, right?"

The Captain nodded silently.

"I carry a Softnose," said Lieutenant Short. "That is the difference."

* * *

Minerva Paradizo laughed delightedly.

"Ha! So much for the Hawking-Fermi Paradox! Temporal tourism is alive and well, eh? A genuine time traveler in my house, imagine that!"

Artemis frowned. This was probably not a good sign.

"You don't believe me," he stated simply.

"Isn't it how it always goes in the movies?" teased Minerva, "The dark, mysterious but somehow charming time traveler convinces the sexy yet brilliant female scientist to help him combat the past?"

Artemis raised an eyebrow. He had a few qualms about her choice of adjectives.

"Sorry Sean, but I don't think that ploy is going to work on me. And not the least of which is because the time travelers in the movies are angst-ridden, but still have more people skills than you do."

"What if the scientist met the demon?" asked the Irish teen quietly.

Minerva stopped laughing, but smirked at Artemis.

"You think you're serious," she said. Then she paused.

"Alright, I'll take your bait. Show me the demon, and any other evidence that you have, and _maybe_ I'll help you find your little magic toys."

Artemis raised his left hand again to show his fingers.

"You've been staring at two pieces of evidence right here," he explained, "My fingers were switched during a time trip and my eye was switched with an elf's during a subsequent trip."

Minerva smiled wider.

"Sorry, dear, my father's a plastic surgeon. I know those little things can be faked very convincingly. Show me the _real_ evidence."

Artemis glanced over at the shelf on one side of the room.

"Well, your communicator is there," he said, "why don't you call the old Commander and ask for Captain Holly Short and the imp Nº1."

"Imp number one?" asked the woman with a laugh, "What, do you have a factory making imps with serial numbers?"

Artemis shook his head. "That's actually his name," he shrugged, "Don't ask me how he got it."

Minerva got up and grabbed her headset from the shelf, clipping the thin device onto one ear.

"I've always wanted to make a difference in history," she said with a sarcastic smile, "Alright Sean, let's play your game."

* * *

**A/N: **By Hawking-Fermi Paradox, I mean Stephen Hawking's iteration of the classic Fermi Paradox to explain an issue with tourists from the future. I'm not sure if this particular variation actually has an official name though.


	29. Her Rules

**Artemis Fowl: The Book of Ages**

Her Rules

* * *

**The Next Day**

Captain Holly Short landed gently on the ground next to a large oak tree which stood beside a modest dirt path. The ground had just a few traces of tire tracks running down the path. Holly unshielded and her wings folded and clicked shut automatically as she looked around. The leaves of a few of the surrounding trees were starting to change color, even though most of them were still a bright green. Just down the path, a small house stood in the middle of a clearing.

The outside of the house was designed so that it looked like it was a real, old-fashioned log cabin, but Holly was fairly sure that the 'logs' were just decorative, and had little to do with the actual construction of the house. Still, the thought of it being a secluded little hideaway in the mountains of England bothered her more than it assured her.

She walked the remaining hundred yards or so to the main door of the cottage. Her wings would have been fine for that task, and she could have probably just landed right in front of the door, but for some reason, Holly just felt like walking.

There wasn't a car in sight. Curious.

The elf knocked twice on the tall wooden door and waited.

It took a bit more than half a minute for someone to open the door.

Holly looked upward, expecting to see Minerva Paradizo greeting her at the door. But it wasn't Minerva who opened the door. It was Artemis, and he looked a bit flushed.

The elf narrowed her eyes immediately.

"Hey Holly," greeted the boy with a slight smile, pulling the door aside to let the elf in. It was probably an improvement from a formal 'hello Captain,' but it was still obvious that Artemis' social skills weren't going anywhere fast.

"What took you so long?" she asked, the slight annoyance in her tone surprising her slightly.

"Oh, uh, that," stammered Artemis, muttering now, "well, Minerva's out, and I ah, forgot I had to open the door." He looked away. "Usually Butler or Juliet does it. It was a brief lapse on my part, my apologies."

The suspicion dropped from Holly's features. It was a stupid answer, but it made perfect sense, considering it _was_ Artemis Fowl. He probably never had to answer doors himself before. It must have been quite the novel experience.

"Oh."

Artemis coughed into his fist.

"Minerva has to go to her shift with the volunteer ambulance service," said the boy quickly, changing the topic, "but as you're already here, I can show you what the plans were."

Holly nodded, somehow glad that she got here before Minerva came back. "Sure," she answered easily now.

As the elf stepped inside the house, she made sure to pause to check whether Artemis remembered to close the door. He did- but barely.

"We're leaving tonight," announced Fowl as he led Holly past the living room (which she thought was a little overdone for what was supposed to be a tiny country cottage). "We'll arrive in Kathmandu and proceed to the surface site of Shambhala in the morning."

As the pair arrived in Beau's bedroom, Holly immediately noticed the cutaway projection of a mountain. It was kind of hard not to notice it- it was floating above the C Cube on the desk and about two feet wide, after all.

The Captain didn't even bother asking how Artemis had gotten the schematics of what looked to be Shambhala's entire city layout. Whether or not Foaly had actually given them to him didn't seem to be an issue.

"She agreed that quickly?" Holly asked instead, still surprised despite the fact that she already knew about the planned trip several hours ago.

"Indeed, she did," agreed Artemis with a slight tone of skepticism, "She seemed all too eager to find out more about the demons and our timeline once she spoke to Nº1."

Holly's eyes narrowed as she looked again at the city plans. Minerva Paradizo and demons were never a good mix. If it weren't for the fact that the demon in question was Nº1, any creature who had been kidnapped by her would hardly have agreed to speak with her at all.

Artemis noticed the elf's expression and seemed to stare at her face for a little longer than absolutely necessary, as if observing her. Holly wondered if any part of her betrayed what she was feeling just the night before.

"I _don't_ know why she has such an interest in them," Fowl added, "but it doesn't seem malicious."

"What if it's all a sham?" asked Holly quietly, "Joining the Humanes, helping Commander Root out- all of it?"

They both knew what the unspoken prize would be for the Minerva they once knew if she _was_ truly just faking it all.

"We're in a bit too deep to worry about that at this point," said Artemis with a small frown, "but I've agreed to tell Minerva our side of the story on the way and she says she _may_ do the same. An exchange of information, obviously- but information can more valuable than gold."

Holly didn't like this turn of events. The way Artemis had put the situation showed his criminal roots probably more than he had intended but it didn't seem like there were many people they could trust in this world at all. Putting their faith in Minerva Paradizo was more than a little unsettling to the elfin Captain.

**

* * *

Evening**

Minerva got a brief chance to speak to a demon the previous night. She called it brief, but few other people would. It was brief though, because it even as it convinced her (somewhat, at least- a lot of it felt more surreal than anything else to her) that she was actually talking to a live demon, it made her want to ask more, and to say more.

Minerva carefully sidestepped many of the things she would have wanted to say. Maybe later Nº1 would know, but not now, she had decided.

For her, the day at the Manchester ambulance service served more as a way for her to clear her mind than anything else. The one call she had gotten involved a fairly mundane car accident downtown and she worked more or less automatically through it (the one middle-aged man who had been injured would recover quickly enough).

'_But there are no mundane accidents,'_ she reminded herself quietly as she turned her car onto the dirt road that led to her temporary home.

'_This Sean fellow and his odd friends are really turning out to be quite something'_, she decided.

* * *

"It's so nice to meet you properly, Captain," said Minerva with a smile as she bent down to shake Holly's hand. "Always a pleasure to see a time traveler," she added with humor in her voice. Whether or not it was sarcastic though, Holly honestly couldn't tell.

Instead of responding in kind, Holly simply looked the woman straight in the eye, giving her a piercing look with blue and hazel irises.

"Then you believe us?" she asked almost defiantly.

Minerva answered the elf's stare with a curious, but wary look.

"I haven't decided yet," she answered, "but I sincerely wish I could. If I do, you absolutely _must_ tell me what being in a wormhole is like- all I get to stare at all day is numbers."

The way she said it made her sound like a housewife asking a friend about a cake recipe she had been having trouble with.

Minerva didn't comment further on the Captain's eyes- or much else for that matter. Instead, she took off her jacket and began making tea.

"We can leave for the airport in about an hour," she announced without turning around, "I don't suppose the Captain has much to pack, but why don't you go pick up a few outfits from my brother's wardrobe, Sean? I'm sure he won't miss them, and it'd probably be a good idea to be traveling in the Himalayas in something other than an Ike Behar dress shirt and jeans. We'll pick up more appropriate clothes along the way."

Holly glanced towards the Irish teen and saw him raise an eyebrow slightly before silently walking off. She quietly followed him. Leaning against the wall out of Minerva's hearing range as Artemis began pulling out articles of clothing, she quietly spoke.

"Why the sudden generosity?" she asked.

Artemis gave her a quick look and shrugged.

"Oh come on," urged the elf, "what ever happened to Mr. I-got-a-psyche-degree-while-in-diapers?"

The Irish teen rolled his eyes visibly and went back to picking clothes. It was only when he had a pale green sweater pressed against his chest to see if it would fit that he answered her question.

"I think she feels guilty," he said finally, but with a bit of uncertainty and none of the clinical tone that Holly would have expected.

Holly's brow furrowed and her bottom lip twisted slightly to one side.

"Minerva? Guilty?" she asked in a voice that had more than a little skepticism in it, "What makes you say that?"

"The laughs?" said Artemis, folding the sweater and throwing it into a bag, "They're not all as sincere as they sound."

He picked out a pair of pants and began folding them as well.

"She also told me- indirectly, at least," he continued, "that she once tried to stop the Hybras landing."

"What?" asked Holly, eyes wide now.

"That's what I initially thought too," Artemis said, sending Holly a little smile, "but I think there's quite a bit to _this_ Minerva that we don't know."

The teen glanced towards the door as he pulled a jacket from the wardrobe.

"I do intend to find out what happened though."

**

* * *

Aboard a Learjet 60 XR- 45,000 feet above sea level**

The Learjet 60 XR was designed for 8 to 10 passengers and a two person crew. The fact that there were only three people onboard (and one of which who clearly didn't have the weight to really count much towards the plane's capacity) and that they had climbed up to cruising altitude at a ridiculously fast pace for a plane this size disturbed Artemis' environmentalist side a little. Holly seemed to enjoy the takeoff though. It wasn't like she wasn't used to flying, but LEP-issue wings could only go so fast, and they didn't have comfortable plush chairs in the cabin (or even a cabin at all).

Artemis decided not to ruin the moment by telling her about carbon emissions from private jets.

Surprisingly, Minerva didn't call anybody at Heathrow to pilot the plane. She had apparently gotten a private pilot license while in her late teens and took the occasional international solo flight. And so, she was the one at the proverbial wheel.

The plane's PA system (why such a small plane was fitted with a PA system at all escaped Artemis) crackled to life as the pilot's voice floated into the passengers' cabin.

"Good evening lady and gentleman," came a friendly, professional-sounding voice, "and welcome to your nine-o'clock flight from London, England to Kathmandu, Nepal. If you'll kindly look out the window to your left and right, you will realize that there is absolutely nothing of interest in sight unless you can see through the cloud layer immediately beneath us. As such, it would be in your best interest to come forward to the cockpit to explain to your pilot _precisely_ who the hell you are. Thank you, and have a nice flight."

Holly stared at the PA as it clicked silent.

"Brilliant. She should get her own show," she commented dryly.

Artemis suppressed a laugh and instead, got up.

"She has a point though. You can sleep if you want," he told the elf, "I'll… go explain."

"Oh no," said Holly, taking off her seat belt and getting up as well, "I think I'll come with you."

* * *

"That was an excellent takeoff," commented Artemis, "And you fly the plane yourself- very nice."

Artemis was, at the moment, sitting on the edge of the copilot's seat, his body tilted towards the woman he was talking to and his eyes scanning her face for any and every reaction to his words. Holly, who had insisted on coming with him, was sitting sideways on the large armrest of his chair, also facing Minerva.

Amazingly, Artemis had actually remembered to offer her the seat first, but she brushed him off. The boy couldn't tell why she would want to sit like she was (it didn't look all that comfortable and was probably against flight regulations), but he didn't say anything about it. The way Holly was sitting hid any of her reactions from Artemis, but he could have sworn he saw her crossed arms tense slightly at his last comment.

The woman shrugged.

"I prefer to do things on my own," she said nonchalantly, "the whole bodyguard, pilot, chauffeur, cook and maid thing really isn't for me."

Artemis thought he might have been able to guess why.

"But enough about my flying abilities," Minerva said suddenly, "I _did_ call you up here for a reason."

The Irish teen didn't say anything immediately but rather looked out towards the dark, featureless sky in front of them.

"What do you know about Artemis Fowl?" began the boy carefully.

Minerva paused for a moment before answering, as if silently composing her response. She turned to stare at the Irish teen for a few seconds before looking back to her instruments.

"A brilliant inventor, head of his own energy company, son of the European crime lord, Artemis Fowl the First…"

Artemis bristled slightly at that, but consciously stopped himself from expressing too much.

"… though Junior hardly has any criminal connections- at least, none that anyone can trace back to him. I met him once- at an art exhibition in Madrid. He knew much more about art than I expected from a person in his position."

"What happened to his father?" asked Fowl, trying to keep tone within the range of detached curiosity.

"Well, at least we know _you're _not trying to impersonate Fowl," smirked Minerva, "But really, what rock have you been living under? Any idiot knows the story of Artemis Fowl the First."

"Let's assume I've been living under a particularly large and… media-proof rock…" responded Artemis softly.

The woman shrugged. "Kidnapped during a business venture in Russia; Mafiya job- very nasty."

'_No surprise there…' _thought Artemis.

"Artemis Junior actually mounted his own rescue mission," continued the blonde, "managed to get pretty close too, once he gave half the ransom. But then the Russians panicked at the last minute, shot Fowl Senior and ran with what they already got. Nobody ever recovered the man's body. It fell into the Bay of Kola and… well, I guess it's gone by now. The bay was about as radioactive the old-style fission chambers and nobody was stupid enough to try to recover anything from that nuclear cesspool."

"What did you think of him personally?"

Minerva shot him a look.

"Aren't _you_ supposed to be the person telling _me_ what's going on?" she snapped, "Just how much does Fowl have to do with this whole time traveling business anyway?"

Artemis heard Holly let out a barely-suppressed laugh.

"Please," implored the boy, "I'd like to hear your answer. I will tell you immediately afterwards."

Minerva didn't look towards him, but he saw her eyebrows rise just a little. Maybe it was Holly's response that made her finally answer.

"He is… an incredibly arrogant man," she said slowly, "but perhaps he is right to be. Other than that, I can't say too much."

'_A measured answer,'_ noted Artemis, _'She's waiting for me to tell her how much he… well, I'm… involved until giving a real assessment.'_

Artemis took a breath and saw Holly turn to look at him. He shrugged a little and mouthed the words "here goes nothing."

"My name is Artemis Fowl the Second," he said carefully, pronouncing each word delicately, "Artemis Senior was," he paused and corrected himself, "_is_ my father."

Artemis thought he saw a surprised look come over Minerva's face, but it was too brief to tell whether or not he had just imagined it. He waited for a response, but the blonde didn't immediately give one. The thrum of the plane's engines seemed to get louder by the second.

Artemis forced himself to breathe normally, knowing that holding his breath for an answer wouldn't grant him any particular advantage. Holly remained silent, but from what he could see, she seemed to be boring her gaze into the side of Minerva's skull.

"Fowl told me something during that art exhibit," the woman said finally, looking at the Irish teen from the corner of her eye, "He hinted that he had seen a legendary piece of art before, one that very few people even know exists."

She didn't say any more, but simply waited for the boy to answer the unasked question.

"_The Fairy Thief_, an Impressionist piece by Pascal Herve," answered Artemis immediately. "It's likely in his possession," he added.

"Really now?" asked Minerva in a tone that made the boy think momentarily that the conversation was about to turn to his art collection.

"Fine," she said after a moment, "what we are going to do is this: I will sit here and fly this plane, and you two are going to have from here to Kathmandu to tell me _exactly_ what is going on and convince me that I should be helping you. If I'm not convinced, I turn you over to Nepalese authorities when we land."

Artemis saw Holly's hand automatically go for her Neutrino and immediately reached out to grasp her shoulder.

"Oh, and Captain," continued Minerva casually, but with a slight edge to her voice that Artemis had never noticed before, "don't try for the gun. If you stun me, who will fly the plane?"

'_I would,'_ thought Artemis instantly. Apparently, Holly knew too, as she once again made to unclasp her hip holster.

"Holly," he said, gripping her shoulder more tightly now, "let's… trust Minerva for now."

She turned back to him and he saw a bit of anger flash across her face.

"But why-" she began.

"Please," Artemis added, cutting her off.

He thought he saw the blonde smirk and gave her a hard look.

'_Alright Minerva,' _he thought quietly, _'we'll play by your rules. I hope you know I'll still beat you.'_

Then he made his first move.

"As I've said, my name is Artemis Fowl the Second," he began, "and in my timeline, I'm a close friend of one Minerva Paradizo."


	30. Keeper of the Light

**A/N:** The stuff about the Sargasso Sea here is true.

**

* * *

Artemis Fowl: The Book of Ages**

Keeper of the Light

**

* * *

Shuttleport A8- 10,000 feet below sea level, Irish Waters- 25 miles off the Kerry Coast**

Nobody ever called Shuttleport Atlantis-8 "A8." It was just too boring.

It was also technically a bit more than 10,000 feet below sea level (of course, that depended on what you counted as the 'top' of the port), but 10,000 was a nice round number, so the designers kept that on the welcome sign.

Situated within a drained and sealed sea trench, A8 was once the most prominent layover stop for fairies traveling between Haven City and Atlantis. About two thousand years ago, bright lights lit the three runway tubes jutting out from the rock to let marathon swimmers (mostly water sprites, or the occasional other species using heavy scuba gear), a way to find the port, giving it a very distinct appearance as a sort of underwater lighthouse. The name stuck, and though the tunnels hadn't been lit in centuries and the only things that passed through the tubes these days (now there were twelve of them) were sub-shuttles, A8 was still unofficially known as Lighthouse Port.

In the past few years, it became better known for being the place where hundreds of refugees stayed while waiting for their visas to get approved by the Atlantean government, or while waiting for a "friend of a friend" to come back with a fake visa. Naturally, nobody was trying to get to Haven.

It was through these crowds that Trouble Kelp had to navigate.

"Officer, officer!" cried an elderly pixie in an old brown coat. He was dragging a rather large suitcase behind him as he ran up to Trouble, huffing and puffing. "My grandson! You've got to help him."

He stepped aside to show a small pixie child sitting atop his suitcase. The child looked towards Trouble with a slightly nervous expression, but seemed more tired than frightened.

"Please, Officer," pleaded the old fairy, "we've been sitting here for more than a week now! Little Bilbo, he's not been well at all. He already lost his mother in Haven- if I could only get him to his uncle in Atlantis! Please sir, I must have a spot!"

Trouble pressed his teeth hard against each other to stop himself from wincing.

"I'm very sorry sir," he said quietly and calmly, "I'm on a very important assignment." He pointed over to the service desk- or what he thought was the service desk (he couldn't really tell, seeing as there was a rather large crowd blocking the way). "We're trying our best to get everyone on their way as soon as possible. If you have any problems, it'd be best to ask one of the port personnel."

Trouble quickly walked away. He didn't want to have to deal with this now. It was all just too much- but it was worse last time. He shook his head. This is _not_ what he had in mind when Fowl and Nº1 had suggested riding out the temporal reset and coming to the new timeline to fix things.

"Mister Elf!" came another voice, this one shrill and high pitched, "Sir! Hey, you in the uniform!"

Trouble trudged on.

'_Find the Map. Find Mu,'_ he thought rapidly to himself,_ 'There's nothing else you can do. Fix this whole mess, and none of this will have ever happened.'_

He made the mistake of taking a single look back to whoever was calling him and ended up bumping headfirst into the wings of a bright green sprite.

'_Oh, who am I kidding?'_ he moaned silently, while muttering apologies back and forth.

* * *

It took Trouble another fifteen minutes to reach his shuttle. Not that it was 'his' in the sense that an LEP shuttle would be his to commandeer. In fact, it was a commercial shuttle, one that was making runs back and forth between Haven and Atlantis with a cargo of war refugees. It was likely being escorted by at least one Atlantean deep-sea fighter craft.

Yes, a fighter craft. It was a good thing that human military submarines still didn't have the kind of diving capacity needed to reach Atlantis, but the occasional pressure-hardened depth charge thrown at the undersea supply lines had really taken their toll until the fighters were deployed to destroy them.

Normally, it would have taken Trouble over an hour to even get near the shuttle he needed to be in, but Commander Root had gotten him special permission for this one. Still, by the time he got in, it was standing room only- and very little standing room at that.

He breathed a sigh of relief when he cleared the doors.

"Calm down Major," came a voice from right behind him, "it's _only_ a food run."

Trouble jerked his head back in surprise and saw who had spoken to him.

Holly Short was leaning against the wall of the shuttle, right next to the door, in full uniform and with her arms crossed. She also had what looked like a long, dull-grey assault weapon slung across her back.

"Holly!" exclaimed Kelp in surprise. Then he stopped short. This elf had two tired, but still very alert, hazel eyes. "What are you doing here?" he asked.

"I'm your copilot," she responded simply. She seemed calm, and was obviously expecting him, unlike last time.

"Wha- copilot?" stammered Trouble, "I don't need a-"

"Yes you do," the female elf cut in immediately, "the transport you're taking back requires a two-person crew."

Trouble scratched his head. He didn't remember anybody actually adhering to that rule since he arrived in the new war-torn timeline months ago.

"Besides, you've only been to Atlantis once before in… _my_ time, and that time was with Chix as your escort," she paused, "Oh, and Foaly told me what kind of _food_ you were bringing back."

Trouble raised an eyebrow. The Lieutenant _did_ have a point. But…

"The Commander let you back on duty this quickly?" he asked, trying to keep the suspicion from his voice, and his eyes away from her weapon.

Holly tilted her head.

"Why wouldn't he?" she asked innocently.

Trouble decided that he was _not_ going to have that conversation right now. Besides, it wasn't like she could do anything bad. So he just gave the elf a weak smile, and offered his hand.

"Well then, good to be working with you," he said kindly.

He glanced up and thought he saw something crack on the Lieutenant's expression, but it was probably just his paranoia. She was as professional as… well, as she was supposed to be.

She did look like she was gulping hard when she grasped his hand though.

* * *

The ride to the city of Atlantis was not a particularly comfortable one. For one thing, it was several hours long. Trips like this generally do not have a majority of the people in the vehicle standing, squeezed together rather like sardines in a can, and barely being able to have a proper conversation for lack of space between the speakers.

This kind of thing happened all the time in several human cities- perhaps most famously in a few island metropolises- but only started happening in recent years in the fairy world.

Lieutenant Holly Short had done more than her share of these Haven-Atlantis runs before, so she wasn't particularly fazed. In fact, the crowding didn't seem as bad as it had been before her aboveground capture. Maybe it was that extra half-inch of space between her nose and the next fairy's shoulder that wouldn't have been there in the past trips. To her dismay, the next fairy's shoulder turned out to belong to Trouble Kelp.

More than once during the trip, she had closed her eyes and had a brief, silent fantasy where she could lean forward into a strong, loving embrace, and not hold on to a single care about anything else around her.

That was why she bit her own tongue every time her eyes threatened to close. It might have been easier if she had been sleeping properly for the past few nights.

But despite the fact that she could escape her own idle daydreams, there was something else she couldn't escape. It was the smell.

'_This guy even _smells_ like him…'_ the Lieutenant moaned inwardly.

Now, it wasn't a _bad_ smell (unlike dwarves, elves showered almost religiously). It just so happened that hundreds of studies both human and fairy had shown that the sense of smell, above all other senses, evoked memories the best.

Holly Short was the squashed, tired, and slightly cringing testament to this fact.

Then again, she didn't look any more uncomfortable than anyone else in the shuttle.

**

* * *

Aboard a Learjet 60 XR, German Airspace**

The flight controls on a Learjet are not nearly as sensitive as those on more agile aircraft, which tend to use flight sticks. In this case, it probably saved Minerva's plane from making a rather sudden and dangerous jerk in some random direction when its pilot reacted. The woman also took what was probably an unsafe amount of time staring at the person in the copilot's seat before slowly bringing her gaze back to her instruments.

But she did that only to turn on the autopilot.

Minerva looked back at the raven-haired boy and his elfin companion. The teen was smiling slightly, obviously pleased with catching her off guard.

"You know…" she said slowly, "saying that kind of thing isn't all that smart unless you're prepared for a _lot_ of verification."

"I know," he replied simply. His smile didn't waver.

Minerva closed her eyes briefly and rubbed the side of her head.

'_Damn… what's going on? Root doesn't play practical jokes.'_ She thought a headache might be starting soon. She let out a long breath.

"When did you say the temporal divergence occurred?" Her voice sounded nervous, even to herself. She realized that maybe having this conversation in the middle of a flight wasn't such a good idea. But it wasn't like she had a choice at this point.

The boy paused a moment, as if calculating the figures in his head.

"Fourteen years ago- for you at least," replied Artemis, "You were seven years old, I was ten. You were the youngest person in Europe with a Master's degree in general chemistry; I was the youngest person in the world with a Doctorate in psychology. We met five years later."

Minerva shot him a dark look. That information alone didn't prove anything. Her Master's was registered under an alias at the time, but anyone with decent computer skills could find that it did indeed belong to her. She hadn't been trying all _that_ hard to hide it.

But mentioning his own PsyD? The boy was obviously playing with her. Appropriate, maybe, if he really did have a degree in psychology.

This was not going well. She had to take back control of the situation.

* * *

Holly Short was dangerously close to enjoying herself at the moment.

Granted, she had barely said a word since joining Artemis and Minerva in the cockpit of the plane, but watching the blonde woman's expressions change throughout their little conversation was much more entertaining.

So much for not being able to catch a quantum physicist off guard…

She heard Artemis sigh behind her.

"You prefer apples over oranges, and strawberries over both; you actually like American musicals more than Italian operas- though you'd never admit it to your opera-aficionado father; and your brother Beau has had the most ridiculous chocolate addiction ever since he was three."

Fowl paused as Minerva stared at him, eyes wide in shock and mouth open just a little in a very unladylike manner. Holly thought she might have enjoyed seeing this reaction from the blonde, but somehow, the fact that Artemis was so easily listing off random details about Minerva's personal life disturbed her enough so that she didn't take any pleasure from the moment.

"Shall I begin listing even more mundane particulars about your likes and dislikes, personality quirks, and family situation now?" he asked her casually.

"No, please don't," replied the woman tersely, quickly bringing her expression back in check, "doing so would at best show that you've done research on me, not that we knew each other."

Minerva pressed her lips together and looked to be thinking hard about what to say next. Holly didn't envy her situation at all- she obviously had no idea what she got herself into.

"Tell me," the blonde said finally, "what makes you think _you two_ can do anything about Hybras?"

Holly couldn't resist a jab. She told herself though, that it wasn't a 'jab' per se, but just simple curiosity.

"So now you don't need to make sure we are who we say we are?" she asked.

Minerva stole a quick glance at her before turning back to stare at the large window in front.

"Regardless of research, your friend here has opened himself up to practically every single question regarding a relationship between _myself_ and him," she paused, "It's fairly obvious that he is sincere," she said with a tone of resignation, "Unless, of course, both of you are utterly insane… but somehow, I don't get that feeling."

She turned back to Artemis.

"So what's _your_ big plan Master Fowl?"

**

* * *

Atlas Plaza, City of Atlantis**

Contrary to popular human belief (and the sensational claims of the city's Ministry of Tourism), Atlantis was actually not a utopia.

Its untimely 'demise' via giant waves was also not the doing of an angry Zeus. It was actually planned out and carefully calculated by the best warlocks, engineers and physicists the People had to offer at the time.

Located in the northeast portion of the North Atlantic's Sargasso Sea (the world's only 'sea' without a shore), the city itself was mostly buried beneath the ocean floor. Much like an iceberg, only a tiny portion stuck out, leaving the vast majority of the city under hundreds of feet of basalt. But even in the exposed region, no sunlight reached Atlantis. It was simply too deep. But even if it wasn't, ocean currents made it so that a veritable forest of seaweed covered the ocean surface well above it, which in recent decades, saw the addition of tons of non-biodegradable plastic waste.

Needless to say, plastic bags with 'thank you for shopping' printed so boldly on their sides were a less than amusing sight to human and fairy environmentalists alike.

Right now though, within Atlantis, it was the sea of people that was more troubling than the sea above. The city was housing just under twice its designated population, and if Haven could have been considered overcrowded in the past… well Atlantis needed a new, considerably more extreme description then.

Despite this, the city streets were actually quite a bit more orderly than the shuttleport had been, mainly because the city was on high military alert. Thus, it didn't really take all that long for Holly and Trouble to reach their destination at the very center of the city of Atlantis.

"Wonderful," muttered Lieutenant Short, "you came all this way just to see a monument."

"Well, I actually _was_ asked to do a food run," responded Trouble as they entered a thick crystal pillar of a building, "and the Commander thought I might as well go talk to the on-site expert while I'm here."

The building was a massive shining thing, right in the middle of the city. It ran through several levels of Atlantis' interior, so that only individual segments of it could be seen at once. For each level though, there was a bright imitation sun that hung suspended near that particular level's ceiling, as if frozen in the crystal.

Holly and Trouble entered the tower from Atlantis' main level.

Despite its grandeur, the place itself wasn't exactly empty and temple-like. The glossy black floor of the expansive foyer was partly filled with a multitude of tents, fold-out tables, and miscellaneous other outing-related equipment. It seemed as if something like a cross between a miniature army and a wilderness camping group had stormed in and taken over.

There was a pair of young elf children chasing each other around one side of the room, twisting in, out, and around tents. A frantic mother ran after her squealing, naked toddler with a diaper as it whizzed by a teenaged pixie who barely peeled her eyes off her cell phone to see the scene before her.

It seemed just about _every_ place in the city was being used as housing.

The two LEP officers pressed on past the refugees and deeper into another room in the building, one that _didn't_ have tents inside, and _was_ actually empty.

"_The Ancient Light,"_ intoned a soft, breathy female voice as they entered, apparently triggered by their movements, _"the oldest and most important part of this city's internal support system. Once upon a time, if this structure had failed, Atlantis would have been plunged into darkness and-"_

The recording was suddenly cut off.

"… and you could kiss your bum goodbye 'cause Atlantis would've come tumbling down."

A tall, pale-blue water sprite strode into view, twirling a remote control on a key ring in tight silver circles before quickly catching it in a slick palm.

"But no worries, my friends- our fair city has eight more of these supports and a much more extensive lighting system now," he added with a smile.

Trouble gave the sprite a questioning look.

"You're the Light's caretaker?" he asked, looking the fairy up and down.

He was younger than Trouble would have thought. And he seemed a bit too… cheery.

"Assistant caretaker," corrected the sprite with a grin, "Gerouny's the name. And you must be Trouble Kelp," he pointed at the elf with a thin, sharp finger, before switching over to the Lieutenant, "and… hm… Holly Short… interesting."

He offered his hand and Trouble shook it briefly. It felt cold and slightly slimy, but there wasn't any residue on the elf's glove once it left Gerouny's hand.

"What's interesting?" asked Holly as she shook his hand.

"Oh, well, it's just that I so rarely see LEP officers like yourselves in here," the sprite replied, "you guys always seem so busy running here and there, catching crooks and saving lives. Good stuff, definitely! But so is this here Light."

"Actually, we came to look at the World Map," said Trouble, "I believe Commander Vent of Atlantis LEP should have told you beforehand."

Gerouny's blue smile dropped into a slight frown, and his thin dark wings began flapping a little, apparently without his notice.

"The World Map…" he said, a bit slower now, "yes, that. About that… well, as you obviously know, it's a world-famous artifact of unparalleled cultural value. We couldn't really just… leave the map room open, especially with all those people living just outside."

"So?" asked Holly, "You have the keys don't you?"

"There _aren't_ any keys," replied the sprite, shrugging with his arms to either side, "it's a telekinetic lock, and until the Council decides to reopen the map room, no one is allowed to use any form of telekinesis in this building."

"Then can't we just see a photo of the map or something?" asked Trouble, slightly annoyed now.

"Nope," responded Gerouny, "a picture, yes, but not a photo. It's impossible to take a photo of the World Map- something in the metal it's made from just makes the whole thing appear blank no matter what kind of camera you use. Believe me, I've tried."

He suddenly tilted his head to one side, as if listening for something.

"Ah, well, I'm sure you two bright fellows will be able to find a hand-drawn sketch of it online or something," he dipped his head, nodding towards each LEP officer in turn, "when you do, please, feel free to come back if you have any questions. Now, I should really find my boss."

With a sudden wave goodbye, his wings quickly spread out, and with a single flap, propelled him towards the automatic doors, which opened for him and shut just as he disappeared around a corner.

A moment of silence passed in the room.

"That was abrupt," noted Trouble, raising an eyebrow and glancing over at Holly.

Before the elf could respond, a dark-haired gnome in a wrinkled brown suit rushed in past the sliding doors. He had a long plastic tube tucked under his arm that looked only slightly shorter than he was tall. He very nearly dropped it as he stopped in front of Trouble.

"Major," he said between gasps of air, "Lieutenant Colonel, so sorry I'm late, there was this blasted crowd of rabble-rousers blocking up half the street a few quads down."

He took a deep breath.

"I'm the Light's caretaker and I have the replica of the World Map right here though, just like Commander Vent requested."

Holly and Trouble exchanged a look.

"We just spoke to your assistant," said Trouble, "He just left to look for you."

The old gnome stopped his quick breathing and looked at the elf with a puzzled expression.

"My assistant?"

"Gerouny?" asked Trouble, "The sprite?"

"The tall, blue guy with the chipper attitude," added Holly.

The gnome furrowed his brow and looked from elf to elf.

"Um… you must be mistaken…" he said slowly, "I don't _have_ an assistant. I'm the only caretaker of the Light- have been for the last six and a half centuries."

Trouble saw Holly give the caretaker a hard look.

"Then who did we just talk to?"

* * *

**A/N:** Fairies with telekinetic powers are actually mentioned in AF canon. Props to whoever can find where ;)


	31. A Voice in the Dark

**A/N:** Uh, hi guys, remember me? So as a matter of fact, I'm actually _not_ dead. This massive delay (one month) was due to the fact that I had a _lot_ of tests in several subjects to study for- SATs and APs. (Yes, that means you Americans can now take a reasonable guess at how old I am, and you non-Americans can easily find out too.) I happen to have my last AP test the day after tomorrow, but I figured I should probably update this story before going off to study for that one.

One last thing. While I haven't the faintest idea how to speak Nepalese, the Mandarin Chinese used here is in the form of Hanyu Pinying romanization, without tones obviously.

* * *

**Artemis Fowl: The Book of Ages**

A Voice in the Dark

* * *

**Atlantis Central Docking Station**

A light blue sprite slipped smoothly into the cockpit of an Atlantean 'Sting Ray' deep sea fighter. The pilot- a gnome- was slumped over in the seat behind him, snoring gently in the regulation dark-grey suit and black helmet of Atlantis LEP. The copilot's seat remained empty.

Grinning far too widely to be appropriate, Gerouny quickly ran off a mental checklist.

'_Pilot, check. Shuttle, check. Pre-flight tests… hm,' _he glanced at the display on the console in front of him, _'already done, check.'_

He paused suddenly and heard a faint rhythmic rumbling sound. It grew louder until it was clear several seconds later what it actually was- waves crashing on a beach.

The sprite chuckled.

'_Boss showing up ten minutes early… check.'_

The sounds stopped abruptly and a faint salty smell filled the cockpit.

"You are interfering far too much," observed a thick, disapproving voice next to the sprite.

Gerouny didn't bat an eye. Instead, he fired up the ship's engines.

"Surely I'm not, Master," he responded easily, "there's no such thing as too much interference. You said so yourself," he scrunched up his face in an exaggerated imitation of a stern, stoic expression, and continued in a deep voice, "_resistance in time is futile_."

He still didn't turn, but could picture his Master shaking his head well enough.

"Then it is a futile exercise you partake in," said the ragged voice, "a waste of _time_. Need I remind you that we are within the stream now?"

"But of course it's futile!" exclaimed the sprite, simultaneously compressing the craft's floats and causing the whole thing to descend into the water it had been floating on. "But since it doesn't really matter until their last decision- if we ever get there- you should let me have some fun! Besides, _you're _going to the mountains."

Gerouny heard the other passenger huff.

"I have not made that decision _yet_."

"But you _will_," the sprite smirked, "The chances are fairly high, and more importantly, I know you're as bored as I was."

The other person paused before responding, as if considering the sprite's words. A few seconds of silence passed as the fighter's dive leveled and it cleared the rocky fringe of Atlantis.

"Just be sure to limit your… playtime, young one," said the thick voice, "and don't interfere too much."

Gerouny turned to make a smart comeback at his Master, but when he looked over at the seat, he was already gone. The sound of waves came back, and the distant squall of a seagull followed. Both ceased not a moment later.

The sprite laughed and gunned the engine. With that, the craft launched into the blackness of the Atlantic deep.

**

* * *

LEP Transport Sub-shuttle- en route to Haven City**

Trouble Kelp was hoping. To be precise, he was rather fervently hoping that Artemis and Holly could find the 'key' part of the puzzle. He was also more than a little confused.

The World Map of Atlantis was, in fact, very easy to get. Assuming it was indeed the map that the Book was referring to, that was half the problem solved. The only issue was that the map showed absolutely no indication of any new and unknown islands in the Pacific, or anywhere else for that matter.

It was also a good deal rougher than modern maps, which was, of course, understandable. It was a rather plain artifact- dark brown ink on faded grey parchment (no doubt the fading was added in the reproduction), with a boarder of different colored plastic gems. The original was a metal plate and was encrusted with real gems, from rubies to diamonds.

Mu was nowhere to be seen. Maybe in that case, a key to whatever place held the Book of Ages wouldn't be all that helpful.

And they didn't even find out who the weird sprite was.

Of course, in the present situation, Trouble's mind was only throwing up these musings about Mu and sprites to distract him from the glare he was receiving from the person next to him, which had nothing to do with finding books and keys.

"Artemis… Fowl…" hissed Lieutenant Holly Short slowly. She paused, as if waiting for him to burst out laughing. He didn't. "_Please _tell me you're joking."

Trouble winced and shook his head. He _knew_ he shouldn't have mentioned Artemis' name to her.

"Does the term 'egomaniacal madman' mean anything to you?" she asked lowly.

Trouble groaned. "Their histories diverged when he was _ten_ years old!"

That didn't seem to placate the Lieutenant at all.

"I hear Fowl's been hacking computers since he was barely out of diapers," she shot back, "_and_ he invented the most advanced fusion generators Mud Men have ever seen when he was thirteen!"

A response might have made it out of Trouble's mouth, but it was at this point that the shuttle's alarms began blaring.

The elf cursed, but it was his copilot that pointed out the display first.

"Proximity alarms," Holly said quickly, her voice switching from accusation to alarm. She stabbed her finger at the blinking green screen. "There's a depth charge nearby!"

"D'Arvit," cursed Trouble again, pulling the throttle to its limit now. But they were in a delivery vehicle, not a fighter, and the acceleration didn't feel like it was nearly enough.

"Come on, come on," urged Kelp, tightening his hands on the controls, and staring into the dark abyss while keeping half an eye on the screen.

Suddenly, a shape shot up from the bottom of the view-screen, and seconds later, a giant explosion of white, foamy bubbles hit their shuttle, forcing Trouble to deploy the stabilizers before they got rolled over by the sheer force of the wave.

Holly was on the instruments in a heartbeat.

"Depth charge exploded," she announced with a quick sigh of relief, not bothering to use full sentences.

"So _that's_ how the fighter escort system works," muttered Trouble as he watched a Sting Ray craft barrel roll past the screen again, straight out of the dissipating mass of bubbles.

"Show-off," commented Holly, frowning at the underwater display.

"Hey, I'm not complaining," responded Trouble, "the guy probably just saved our lives!"

**

* * *

Tbilisi International Airport, Georgia**

Minerva Paradizo could speak approximately five words of Russian, and none of Georgian. As it turned out, she didn't need to speak either.

"French, English, Italian, Spanish and Mandarin," she rattled off as she leaned back into a plush chair near the rear of the Learjet. "I know both lingua francas, and four United Nations languages. Now if I stop at a national capital and can't find anyone to talk to, that's _their _fault, not mine."

She gestured outside the window and sighed.

"But of course, cash is the universal language."

It had taken the blonde nearly half an hour to arrange for the jet to be refueled, and given her already irritated disposition, it was not hard to say that she was currently not very happy. But one did cross more than half the Eurasian landmass in this kind of plane without stopping at least once, even if it _was_ the middle of the night.

'_Gold, actually,' _thought Artemis Fowl automatically, _'all currencies fail eventually.'_

He winced briefly at the thought, shaking his head a little. This was hardly the time to be thinking of gold.

"That gives us thirty minutes," continued Minerva, looking straight at Artemis, "Now I think I've accepted your vague explanations long enough."

The Irish boy nodded and pulled the C Cube from his pocket, placing it in the center of the fold-out coffee table and turning it on.

"Resume last projection?" asked the Cube's soft, synthesized voice.

"Confirm," said Artemis, speaking clearly so the device could pick up his voice patterns.

A satellite image of a snow-covered mountain filled the space above the table. A tiny speck of some structure could be seen on the edge, in a patch of brown and green near a river.

"This is what we're going to do…" began Artemis.

**

* * *

Sindhuli District, Janakpur Zone, Nepal**

The previous night had been spent in one of Kathmandu's nicer hotels. It also marked the first time Artemis Fowl had ever been in a hotel room with any female besides his mother and/or Juliet. The fact that it was _two_ females would have made it quite something, if only he had any idea of such things. But Artemis Fowl was not a particularly social creature. Of course, all he got was a weird look from the person at the service counter (who, naturally, only saw Minerva with him).

Well, there was that, and then there was the long silence and scandalized expression he got from Minerva when Holly had let slip that she and Artemis had 'slept together' on a previous occasion.

Just because elves had a natural command of the English language didn't mean they knew every connotation of certain phrases. Holly retained a deep red complexion for the rest of the night after Artemis explained what was implied by her words. Her face was still slightly pink in the morning.

That had not been a particularly enjoyable experience for Artemis (he ended up sleeping on the armchair after _that_ particular slip, preferring to let the females each take a bed).

They struck out early the next morning, with at least one person in their party very glad to be leaving the hotel.

* * *

'Road' was not a term Artemis would have used to describe the path they were following at the moment. Minerva was driving a rather weathered-looking SUV rented in Kathmandu and following only the directions provided by the tireless, clear voice of the C Cube while Artemis and Holly sat in the back, getting little comfort from the nearly non-existent suspension system. Artemis supposed that maybe at one point, the path would have been somewhat noticeable, but most features that defined it as such were long gone now, leaving only the slightest depression in the short grasses and ferns that may or may not have been the old road.

In any case, if it weren't for the assistance of the global positioning system and maps that the C Cube had 'borrowed' from the Chinese and Nepalese governments respectively, any direction would have been nearly impossible to discern.

"What was the name of that mountain again?" asked Holly suddenly.

"Everest," replied Artemis, cringing as another stray bump sent him flying an inch into the air, "The dwarves called it Shambha'gonar. But like I said, we're not going there."

The elf looked thoughtful for a moment, as if trying to remember something.

"Oh…" she said finally, "I guess that explains it. The People's histories never listed Shambha'gonar as the tallest mountain, but that's because it's not the tallest _natural_ mountain."

Artemis gave her a puzzled look, and even Minerva tilted her head slightly towards the back to listen.

"Did I hear you right, Holly?" asked the woman, "Everest isn't _natural_?"

"So to speak," replied Holly, "To build Shambhala, dwarves excavated a ridiculous amount of rock from this region, and well, the rock had to go _somewhere_." She shrugged. "The warlocks sort of just piled it a couple miles away… on present-day Shambha-gonar. It was a dumping ground."

Artemis raised an eyebrow.

"I think the reason that the Book points to the 'tallest stone,' rather than the 'tallest mountain' is because Shambha-gonar is mostly artificial- dwarf-made, and wizard-moved" she continued, "It wouldn't be called a 'mountain' in Gnommish terms."

The Irish teen looked outside to the barren land that surrounded them, and then off to the distance at the white peaks of the Himalayas.

"And here I always thought it was the Book's rhyme scheme," he muttered.

* * *

A couple miles later, Minerva suddenly stopped the slowed the car to a stop and shut off the ignition. She pulled out a large water bottle and took a long drink, not reacting at all to the stares of a boy and an elf.

"If I may ask," questioned Artemis as soon as she put the bottle down, "did we stop just so you could get a drink?"

"Nope," replied the woman, turning and smiling at him. Artemis felt just slightly unnerved by the smile. "We stopped because the car has run out of gas."

Artemis blinked at her. Running out of gas was all good and fine- they had several large containers filled with extra for just an occasion. So why was she staring?

"Now," said Minerva, her expression unfaltering, "what brave, _manly_ soul among us shall volunteer to go out back and pour some gas in from one or two of our tanks?"

Artemis suddenly found two pairs of eyes on him.

Minutes later, the Irish teen was doing exactly that- or trying to, at least. Getting the tank out of the trunk had been easy enough (thanks to gravity, naturally), but lifting it up to the height needed to pour anything into the car's gas tank was proving to be quite the challenge.

'_Where's a good Butler when you need him?' _he thought morosely, staring at the large red container on the ground, _'Or her… really, this would have been like exercise for either one of them!'_

He could probably call for help, but decided it likely wasn't worth the ribbing he would get from it later on. So he tried again.

This time, the container barely got an inch above the ground.

'_Too much lactic acid…'_ he panted, _'my muscles aren't working efficiently enough.'_

Either that or he was simply far too weak.

He ended up calling for help.

**

* * *

Solukhumbu District, Sagarmatha Zone, Nepal**

It was evening by the time Minerva stopped the car for good. It had taken two rest stops and an additional six hours for them to get to where they were now. Where they were, exactly, was the bottom of a steep hillside that seemed to drop precariously into a much steeper cliff on the far end.

A worn whitish building stood on the top of the hill, standing out from the dark brown rock and sparse vegetation. It wasn't particularly large, certainly smaller than Fowl Manor, and built in a squat, roughly circular pattern that was barely visible in the dim light.

A faded wooden sign hung at the bottom of the hill, with a script carved onto its surface that neither Artemis nor Minerva could read.

Holly followed the two humans out of the car and took a long look at the sign before finally saying the words.

It was a name, certainly, but it was a name that took Holly about five seconds to say from beginning to end.

Artemis chuckled.

"The Buddhists of this region are known for giving their lesser-known temples and monasteries extraordinarily long names," he commented, "We westerners prefer to call this the Tyu Baha. The full name is interesting though, as it translates roughly to 'the place of the permanent earth.'"

When both Holly and Minerva gave him blank looks, he sighed.

"It's odd for a Buddhist monastery to refer to permanence when _impermanence _is one of the Buddhism's major tenets."

He suddenly smirked and began leading the other two up the hill.

"Unless, of course, _other_ factors influenced the naming."

Holly decided not to comment. The metaphysics of human religions was hardly a strong suit for her.

Instead, she glanced up at the building on top of the hill. She thought she saw a slight fleeting flash behind her from the corner of her eye, but when she turned around, she saw nothing but the car and the sign.

Shrugging, the elf let a trickle of magic flow into her limbs, and she shimmered into invisibility, even as she activated her wings and floated forward to catch up with the two humans.

* * *

When Minerva knocked on the door of the building several minutes later, she could only hope _someone_ inside spoke Mandarin. That, she could deal with- passably at least.

Of course, Holly could understand whoever was inside regardless of language, but it probably wasn't a good idea for two humans to show up with an elf in tow.

The elfin captain had actually brought with her two LEP translators when she came to the surface, which both humans now wore hooked behind their ears. But still, those only ensured that they understood what was being said, not that anyone inside would.

Of course, if worst came to worst, they could just offer a translator to whoever they needed to speak to.

Minerva heard movement inside, but it was another few seconds before the door actually opened.

A short, red-robed man with tightly cropped grey hair was the one to greet her. He carried an oil lantern that lit his old, wrinkle-scarred face. It reminded Minerva of an ancient oak. The robe he wore was thick and felt-like, and covered him from neck to ankle, with long, equally thick sleeves. The woman noticed that he didn't wear shoes.

After an initial look of surprise, the monk quickly touched his palms together in front of him and gave a slight bow with the lantern hanging by a pinky. The surprise was probably understandable- a place in Nepal that normally received few visitors at all could hardly be expected to suddenly receive not one, but _two_ visitors. And westerners at that!

"_Namaste_," he greeted simply.

Artemis and Minerva quickly mirrored the greeting, though Artemis looked anything but graceful doing it. He had barely even mastered the handshake, after all.

Minerva looked up and smiled awkwardly. If this didn't work, they could be in a bit of trouble.

"_Laoshi, qing wen ni huibuhui shou zhongwen?"_

It was an odd question to begin with, to ask if he could speak Chinese, but on the off chance that he- or anyone else in the monastery- could, that would likely save them from relying on translators and causing quite a bit of inconvenience in finding the Key of Shambahla.

The monk's eyes widened in surprise, but a smile broke out on his face soon after.

"_Ni de yinyuan hen hao,_" he responded in accented Mandarin (though Minerva imagined that her accent was probably far worse), "_Wo shi cong dong Xizang lai de._ _Qing jinlai, women huanying shou you ren lai women de jia._"

* * *

As the monk opened the door further to let them in, Holly saw Artemis glance over at the blonde, raising an eyebrow in surprise.

"Yeah right," muttered Holly from the corner of her mouth.

The man had told his visitors that their karma must have been good, since he was from eastern Tibet and spoke some Mandarin.

Holly could see Artemis fighting to keep from laughing- with good reason too. He was quite a ways away from having 'good' karma. Unless, of course, he had been secretly doing charity work behind her back or something like that. But somehow, she doubted it.

They stepped into the relative warmth of the room's interior, and the monk shut the door, leaving the only light inside to be coming from the small oil lantern and a pair of red candles.

The man turned to his visitors and gave them another slight bow.

"My name is Xiaobing," he told them, again in Mandarin, "I imagine that the two of you must be tired from your journey. It is not an easy trip to reach this place."

He spoke in a slow, deliberate pace as he turned to walk further into the building, taking the lantern and gesturing for the two to follow him. They continued down a dark hall, which had no light whatsoever besides the lantern in the monk's hand. That, at best, showed a few feet ahead of them.

"You must be in need of lodging," he stated, rather than asked.

Minerva nodded in agreement anyway.

"That, I can provide for you," responded the monk with a smile, "Food as well, what paltry bits we have at the moment."

"Your companion," he asked Minerva directly now, "does he understand?"

Minerva nodded again and pulled the translator from her ear, not needing it now.

"These translate for us," she told him.

He glanced at the plastic device and looked a bit closer with the lantern in his hand.

"The west has come far," noted the monk, though Holly couldn't tell what his tone implied- if anything at all.

He continued walking and didn't stop until he reached a doorway on one side. Using the lantern's flame to light a small candle, he showed them a room that really was nothing more than a mat on the ground with thick blankets on top.

"You may rest here, if that is what you wish," he told Minerva, "The other brothers are asleep already, but if you wish, I can bring you food and drink."

Holly saw Minerva blink at him in surprise.

"You haven't even asked for our names," she pointed out.

The monk let his hands out a bit to either side in an open gesture.

"I am not in want of anything," he explained, "If you wish to tell me, that is your choice. I shall not demand it."

Minerva smiled.

"I'm called Minerva," she introduced.

The boy next to him took the less elegant way, pointing at himself slightly, and simply saying "Artemis."

Xiaobing nodded towards both of them, and turned to face the empty air next to Artemis.

He stared straight at Holly.

"And you, fairy? Do you wish to stay for the night?"

Holly froze, and then shivered. The friendly man suddenly had a strange feeling about him. It was impossible! How could he see through a fairy shield?

Holly felt both her human companions looking between him and her, both equally shocked and confused.

Slowly, she brought herself back to visibility. There was no use in hiding now.

"How did you know?" she asked in perfect Nepalese.

Xiaobing gave her a small smile and held up the lantern, gesturing towards the entrance with it.

"Flames do not flicker without a breeze," he replied simply, "You were shaking, fairy. The lights appeared foggy through your body, and they were quivering as if there was wind, even after I closed the door."

"How did you know about… her kind… at all?" asked Minerva incredulously. Apparently, she had forgotten the Mandarin for fairy.

The monk sent her an amused look.

"Talk is for tomorrow," he said, "Rest is for tonight."

* * *

Minerva Paradizo could not fall asleep that night.

It probably wasn't the hard floor- she felt tired enough to sleep even with that. It wasn't the cold either, for though the air was cold, the blankets kept it from bothering her.

Of course, it was just the whole situation that was keeping her up. She was the guest of a monastery in the Himalayas for crying out loud! A week ago, she would have called her present situation utterly preposterous. In fact, she still did.

All of it was really quite queer.

'_Well wouldn't it be something if we actually found anything even remotely related to a 'key' in these godforsaken mountains!' _she thought, _'Of course, _I_ wouldn't be one to-'_

"Minerva."

A voice suddenly called her name in the pitch darkness. It was male, deeper, and certainly rougher than Artemis'.

"Minerva Paradizo," it called out again.

The woman froze, and cold washed over her, freezing her to the bone with a feeling that no blanket could block.

"Have you come to redeem yourself?" it asked.

Immediately, she felt a deep dread weighing down on her.

She knew the voice. But how did it find her?

No, that was a bad question. Of course he could find her. Now the better question would be, _why was he alive_?

But one thing Minerva did know: Hybras had finally come back to haunt her.


	32. Something Very Wrong

**Artemis Fowl: The Book of Ages**

Something Very Wrong

* * *

Somehow, Minerva Paradizo was not panicked at all. Despite her fear, she felt very calm, which briefly made her wonder if she had, in fact, kept her sanity after the Hybras incident. Hearing disembodied voices in the dark didn't help convince her that she had.

She slowly sat up and looked around the room, squinting and not really seeing much because the small, cloth-screened window didn't give any light to help her. It was well past sunset, after all. So she closed her eyes, and tried to listen carefully instead.

"You survived?" she asked.

The question sounded conversational in Minerva's mind, but in reality, it came out as something more like a squeak.

The intruder sighed, as if already losing patience with her.

"Have you come to redeem yourself?" he repeated, ignoring her question and pressing on.

"I don't know what that means," responded Minerva through gritted teeth, "Can't you ever speak plainly?"

There was a long pause and the blonde felt like he was staring at her.

"I did," he replied simply, "and you didn't listen."

_

* * *

Fourteen year-old Minerva Paradizo stood beneath a tarp overhang that shaded her from the harsh desert sun. She looked at the creature in front of her with fury, and it looked back with the passive glance of an old sage._

"_What are you waiting for, Kong!?" yelled the teenaged girl, "Shoot it!"_

_The creature muttered something under its breath and Minerva heard the thumping of a body against the ground right behind her. Sparing a single look back, the girl froze when she saw the unconscious form of Billy Kong lying on the hot desert sand. The Taiwanese bodyguard still had one hand gripping a long dart rifle, but his mirrored sunglasses lay at least ten feet away, half-buried in the sand._

_Minerva's own hand jerked up against her own sunglasses, hastily holding them against her face._

"_Don't go forward with this Minerva," warned the intruder in a voice that sounded like a rock being ground against a cheese grater, "You will only regret it."_

_The girl smirked and spun around._

"_Try and stop me!" she challenged, grabbing the gun from Kong's hand and firing two shots in a flash. Sand exploded from the ground in front of her, but a second later, it cleared._

_And there was nothing there but sand._

* * *

Minerva didn't respond.

"The boy and the elf have done more than you can imagine," said the voice finally, "You can trust them, though they may not trust you."

The woman took in a sharp breath.

"What about all this time travel business? Artemis Fowl the Second?"

"Are you still doubtful, child?" asked the raspy voice, "You know these things better than most. Go, follow them. You may be surprised."

Minerva frowned. But nothing else was said, and she lay awake on the floor for the rest of the night. She had decisions to make now.

**

* * *

The next morning**

Artemis Fowl felt like he could sleep through a Himalayan blizzard at this point, even if he didn't have shelter. But then he remembered being frozen, and shivered. On second thought, maybe being a popsicle wasn't worth the trouble. The point was, though, that he felt tired like he hadn't in ages.

He couldn't fall asleep for the entire night. It might have been understandable, given the foreign environment, but Artemis would have thought that the past few days would have caught up with him and he would have at least gotten a few hours' sleep.

There was a moment just minutes before the monk Xiaobing had collected him in the morning that he thought he had dipped off to sleep, but he was just as quickly jerked back into a very fatigued wakefulness.

"You three do not appear to have gotten much rest," observed Xiaobing from across the low table. At least _he_ didn't look tired.

Artemis looked around and realized he was absolutely right. Minerva looked as if she had been up solving some insanely frustrating physics problem and Holly appeared as if she had been up doing… well, whatever it was that elves did when they couldn't sleep (he couldn't begin to imagine what that might be).

Now he wasn't the only one who looked like a vampire.

"I do apologize," continued the monk, dipping his head slightly, "the mountains can be a difficult place to rest in."

Breakfast turned out to be a very slow affair (involving a soft, mildly sweet flatbread), with Holly sending more than a few wary glances towards their host. It wasn't exactly every day that she sat unshielded, eating with a complete stranger of a Mud Man. Actually, it was the first time.

"Where are all the others?" asked Minerva suddenly.

The monk smiled and turned to her.

"They rose with the sun and left before you woke," he answered, "It is the custom of our order to meditate in the mountains in the mornings."

Artemis looked over the man's shoulder at the small window behind him. A draft of biting cold air blew in, washing over his exposed face like a bucket of icy water.

'_Yes… of course,'_ he thought, pulling his jacket closer to himself,_ 'meditation in the Himalayan highlands sounds like an _absolutely_ pleasant way to wake up.'_

"What about me?" Holly blurted out seconds later, in what Artemis imagined was flawless Nepalese, "How do you know of the People?"

"Ah," he said quietly, "that is the important question. But food before answers- your minds will be clearer when you stomachs are fuller."

Artemis scowled and stared at his half-finished flatbread.

"Holly, would you mind telling Mr. Xiaobing that we are rather low on time and that it would be a great help to us if he could tell if what he or his friends know about the Key of Shambhala?"

The elf paused, but translated quickly, seeming like she had a similar question in mind already.

When the red-robed monk heard the translation, he gave Artemis a piercing look with both eyes.

"Wise is the man who waits for the right time," he quipped. He didn't say anything more, and he didn't answer anything else until well after breakfast. Somehow though, he looked slightly more restless than before.

* * *

Holly wasn't all that sure how they ended up following the Asian man out of the monastery and further up the hill. She was just a little busy trying to keep her eyes open and her legs moving along. And she had to try very hard indeed.

"Monks of my order have known of the fairy People for millennia," explained the man as he walked nimbly up the slope. "Dwarves carved out much of the land around us," he gestured towards the valley to one side, which had a thin line of a river flowing at the bottom.

Holly thought that if she squinted, she could imagine that the line had been drawn roughly by Mulch Diggums on a piece of scrap paper that would have served as his 'blueprint' for digging the place out.

"The Monastery of the Permanent Earth has kept the legends of Shambhala for many, many years, though it has been nearly that long since we were last visited by the People."

Xiaobing turned to look at Holly, but didn't stop walking. Holly gave him a slightly suspicious look in return.

"Still, each monk among us knows the characteristics of the members of the fairy races, for we were told that one day, you would come back to look for a Key."

He smiled.

"We were not told you would come back with human friends."

"You _know_ about the Key then?" asked the elf, her eyes widening and her legs stopping in surprise. The monk didn't stop, but simply nodded like it was obvious.

"Did you know that the People are fighting a war against several countries all over the world right now?" asked Minerva suddenly.

Xiaobing turned to her sharply, and his face slowly became a grim, pained mask.

"I am very sorry to hear that," he said quietly, "but perhaps that is why the Key is sought now."

* * *

Artemis Fowl expected a shrine. Failing that, he expected a hole in the ground, maybe in the style of one of Mulch's 'artful' creations. Artemis Fowl did not expect a view.

Yet that was what he saw now. That- and a sundial perched on the edge of the cliff they were standing on.

"Your use of Mandarin is impressive for a westerner," he heard Xiaobing say to Minerva. "But the key you seek is not the key you say you seek."

He looked briefly at the sundial, which cast a heavy shadow across one side in the early morning sun, then out towards the rocky ground far below. He smiled a smile that did not seem all that natural to Artemis.

"You are not looking for a _yaoshi_," he continued, "but rather, knowledge. Perhaps knowledge as a _yaoshi _to guide you to what you truly seek."

The monk pointed a finger out and traced the path from the sun to the base of the faraway mountains, where shadows were just forming as the sun came over the horizon.

"Now look, and see!"

And when they looked out into the mountains, they did see.

* * *

Holly Short stared at the shadows in amazement.

"Oh my…" the elf heard Minerva breathe.

"Well… that's really quite something," muttered Artemis next to her, "You don't see _that_ kind of key every day."

At the base of a mountain was a triangular formation that looked roughly like an arrowhead pointing up. But that wasn't the interesting bit. Darkened on the mountains either because of the morning shadows or because of the rock itself was a pattern. And not just any pattern, but Gnommish letters. Crude letters, no doubt, but with angular edges and sharp turns that screamed out to Holly that it was dwarf-made.

"_N'dar é silmarils: azaghâl, mîm, balin,"_ the elf whispered.

"Really?" asked Minerva suddenly, "_That's_ how it's read? It looks like jumbled letters to me."

Artemis pointed out her mistake before Holly could.

"It's in the ancient Gnommish form," he explained, "Follow the arrowhead at the base of the western edge and go in a spiral inwards."

"In the midst of the gems…_azaghâl, mîm, balin_…" read Minerva slowly. She then turned to Artemis with a confused look. "I don't understand the last three."

The teen shook his head.

"Neither do I."

"You both don't know your gems," muttered Holly. Then, in a louder voice, she explained. "The last three translate to amethyst, topaz, and emerald- so it would read, 'In the midst of _these_ gems: amethyst, topaz, emerald.'"

Holly glanced over at the red-robed monk.

"Do you have any idea what it means?" she asked him in Nepalese.

The man tilted his head a little in confusion.

"I thought a member of the fairy races would know…" he said slowly, "I do not know what the dwarves wrote, only that they did write something."

He bowed deeply.

"I am sorry, but that is the only thing that I know of that relates to the city of Shambhala," he said regretfully.

"Are you sure?" asked Holly, "There isn't anything else? No matter how little or how loosely related, we have to know."

Xiaobing shook his head.

"The city is hidden in the mountains and is a lost paradise known as a legend to all people of this region. That is all," he replied, "That was the purpose of Tyu Baha- to watch over the stone which is protected by the old magic of the People, and to let those who seek the remnants of the ancient city see the message."

Holly saw Artemis tap his chin thoughtfully, staring out at the mountains. He walked a bit off to one side, as if trying to examine it from a different angle.

"Holly, would you come here for a second?" he called out after a moment.

The elf looked up and quickly strode over, watching each step on the rocky ground.

Artemis crouched down to the elf's eye level and spoke in hushed tones.

"Act like we're observing the rock," he muttered. Holly nodded slightly, looking off into the message of stone and shadow, only now realizing that they were out of earshot of the others.

Artemis pointed out into the distance. "Ignore what I'm pointing at," he told her. "Listen, did you sleep any last night?" he asked suddenly.

Holly shot him an odd look before slowly returning her eyes to the mountains.

"No," she mumbled "but what's that got-"

"It doesn't look like Minerva did either," interrupted the teen, "and I certainly didn't."

"So?" asked the elf, unsure of what he was trying to say.

"The monk speaks about his 'brothers,' who went out early in the morning to meditate," continued Fowl, "but did you hear any others in the monastery either yesterday or today?"

Holly suddenly felt a chill at the back of her neck.

"No," she breathed again, "What are you getting at?"

"Something's very wrong with this place," muttered Artemis. He had his cell phone out now, and was taking a series of pictures of the mountains with it, and pointing at nothing in particular on the screen once he had finished. "I have a suspicion, but we need to leave- quickly."

Holly felt her palms quickly moisten with sweat. She looked from the phone's screen to Artemis' face, and nodded once.

"Ah, I see," she said out loud now, "that's a good idea Artemis."

The teen patted her on the shoulder and stood back up, leading her back to the other two.

"The map…" he said to Minerva, "we should ask Foaly and see if the others have returned with it yet. I feel that there's a connection to these words. But we should get going now, if there's nothing else to be learned here. We can do better work with an internet connection in the city; out here I can only get GPS signals, and even then, only barely."

Minerva didn't look all that surprised, as if she had already come to the same conclusion herself. She told Xiaobing their plans.

The monk nodded in understanding.

"I see," he said, "Well, you must have much work ahead of you." He turned towards the bottom of the hill. "Come, I shall bring you back down then."

The two humans and the elf followed without a word.

* * *

They said their goodbyes at the bottom of the hill, near the sign with the incredibly long Nepalese name, not far from where the SUV was parked. Though the monk tried to convince them to at least stay for morning tea, Artemis was adamant that he get to an internet connection as quickly as possible.

They didn't stay for tea.

Artemis took the wheel this time, and he drove off as if the car was being chased by an angry troll- one that hadn't eaten in weeks.

"Really, Fowl," remarked Minerva, who had barely buckled herself in before they had taken off, "who are _you_ running from?"

The boy gave her a quick look, but didn't respond, preferring instead to push harder on the accelerator. He had just cleared a pair of thin, whitish trees when the world around them changed.

The sun shot up into the sky- not like a cannon, but rather like it had just disappeared and reappeared- until it was nearly at its noontime high. The shadows that stretched a few feet away just a moment ago now barely existed but for a few inches beneath whatever cast them, and a single look off into the mountains they had been observing before showed that while there were a few darkened spots which formed half-symbols and odds and ends, the absence of the shadows completely erased the message.

And Artemis suddenly felt like a lead jacket had been thrown on him- a comfortable one that was pressing him down into sleep. He brought the car to a screeching halt.

"What the hell!?" cried Minerva, staring wildly at the changed environment after recovering from being thrown bodily at the dashboard by the sudden stop.

"Not good," muttered Artemis, blinking hard to keep from yawning. "Holly, you wouldn't happen to have any stim-packs or something like that on you, would you?"

"The LEP doesn't believe in chemical stimulants," replied the elf softly, also a bit preoccupied with staring out the tinted windows, but rubbing her eyes at the same time.

Artemis grunted and eased his foot on the accelerator again.

"Coffee, anybody?" he asked.

"Artemis Fowl," cried Minerva, stifling a yawn, "you will stop this car and explain to me _exactly_ what just happened!"

"Not here," he replied quickly. "Holly, pull out the C Cube for me will you?"

He continued driving down the dirt road, going downhill now, next to a ridge on their right and patches of shrubs on their left.

"If I remember correctly, it's thirty miles to the nearest town, and that's where we need to be," continued Artemis. Holly passed the C Cube up to the front, which Minerva took (rather unhappily).

"C Cube voice-only mode, activate," called out the Irish teen.

The Cube gave an acknowledging beep and glowed once.

"Access music media files," ordered Artemis, "select genre: rock, song order: random, select from files within the last fifty years. Volume set at ninety percent of maximum."

He took a breath.

"Play."

What came from the C Cube's speakers- in an appropriately loud volume- was music that would have likely sounded pleasant to some people somewhere. But it hardly sounded like that to Artemis, and by the looks on their faces, it didn't sound pleasant to anyone else in the car either- at least not in their sleep-deprived states and with the volume at nearly car-shaking levels.

"You're using _this_ to keep yourself awake?!" yelled Minerva over the music. "What's so damn important to _you_ about getting to an internet connection?"

Artemis didn't reply. He only drove faster.

**

* * *

Village of Baku, Solukhumbu District, Sagarmatha Zone, Nepal**

Minerva didn't pay any attention to the name of the inn they were in. All she knew was that she had- in a barely awake state- stuffed some significant amount of money into the shocked innkeeper's hands and rushed into a room.

And Artemis had followed her. Holly was following too, but she couldn't be seen.

Now she was running through an inn looking and acting half-drunk from sleep depravation- and with a boy at her heels at that! That one wasn't going to look good if it ever got out. She hoped she had made it clear enough to the innkeeper to keep his mouth shut, and that the money actually kept his mouth shut.

Minerva slammed the room's door closed just after a haze passed through it. Holly appeared several feet inside the room. Artemis was already inside, in the bathroom and splashing water on his face.

She scowled at him, and very nearly failed because her face was too tired. "Now, Fowl, if you expect to me cooperate with you for _one more minute_, then-"

"Time stop," said Artemis quickly, looking grimly at the two females through the mirror as he wiped his face. "We were in a time stop field."

**

* * *

Tyu Baha Monastery, Sagarmatha Zone, Nepal**

The monks of Tyu Baha that had outside bedrooms woke up to find the sun's rays streaming brightly into their rooms. Those on the inside that had no windows woke up to the ruckus made by their brothers minutes later. Though a general meeting was called of all twenty-two monks, it was found that each and every one of them had missed both the sunrise, and the call of the resident rooster.

The monk named Zhenming was sent to check on the rooster in the courtyard to see, well, if it was still there.

He went outside and saw the bird pecking haughtily at a bag of seeds. When it noticed the man staring at it, it stared right back, as if trying to ask why he was bothering him during breakfast.

Monk and chicken looked at each other for a good few seconds before the monk gave up. Scratching his head, he went back to inform the others that the rooster looked as healthy and as present as ever.

They never did find out why everyone overslept that day.

* * *

**A/N: **Random musing, read if you wish:

So the other day, I was thinking about the whole age thing that would be an inescapable part of a A/H relationship. At the same time, I happened to be re-reading the Lord of the Rings. Then I sort of realized that Tolkien's series (without which we would not have the literary conception of elves as we know them today, i.e. Holly) included a relationship which I believe sparked similar cross-species ships in later stories. I did a bit of digging and found that the age difference between Aragorn and Arwen (who married and had at least two kids) was somewhere in the nieghborhood of 2700 years. Yeah... kinda makes a guy in his late teens and an elf in her eighties seem almost realistic. So hey, if Mr. Father-of-modern-high-fantasy Tolkien is okay with AragornxArwen, I'm not even going to think of age as having any bearing on A/H.

To that end (and to show my appreciation for Mr. Tolkien for introducing human/elf relationships), there are no less than four Middle-earth references in this chapter.


	33. Copycat

**A/N:** Kept busy by SATs, in-class finals, state finals, final projects, research proposals, blah, blah, blah. I'm back.  
**

* * *

**

**Artemis Fowl: The Book of Ages**

Copycat

**

* * *

**

"SHORT!!"

Lieutenant Colonel Holly Short cringed. She had expected it, but she cringed anyway. Maybe it would have been a better idea to _not_ go with Trouble to the makeshift command center. She could have gone home- he certainly wouldn't have begrudged her for that. But she sort of… lost track of what was going on, and followed the elf- and the food delivery- right up to about two feet in front of Commander Root's crimson face. And then she had opened the only door between them, and let the Commander see her.

Holly took a step back and swallowed hard before staring down at her shoes. That old mud stain on the front of the left one suddenly seemed very interesting.

"Y-yes, Commander?" she responded, trying to sound surprised at his outburst.

The elf peeked up for a moment and saw Root giving her a long glare that made his eyes look like they were about to pop out. She could see the veins on his temple bulging, and hoped she wouldn't be the cause of a sudden stroke for the old Commander. It was a good thing no small children were around, because a child looking at this sight would have probably cried.

"You're dismissed, Major," said the Commander gruffly, not actually looking at Trouble Kelp at all.

There was a long pause before Trouble responded. Holly guessed that he had just about figured out what had happened.

"Yessir," replied Trouble quietly, before slipping back out the door, not saying a word more.

"Short, get in my office, _now_," ordered Root pointing a stubby finger at a corner of the room that had three pale sound-proofed panels separating it from the rest of the converted warehouse.

"Yessir," muttered Holly under her breath as she dragged her feet forward. This was _not _going to be fun.

Root popped a piece of gum as soon as they entered his office. Holly had learned that it had become his substitute for the increasingly rare fungus cigars in the last few months. Unfortunately, he chewed the gum the same way he used to chew his (unlit) fungus cigars: like a cow. Not that Holly, or any one else for that matter, ever said anything about it.

"D'Arvit," cursed the Commander, sitting down at his desk and immediately standing back up, "Why in Frond's name do you do this to me?"

Holly gulped.

"I was on leave sir," she replied hesitantly, "and I… took a trip to Atlantis."

The last bit sounded almost like a question.

Root's chewing stopped for a few seconds while he stared at her, but then renewed like a jackhammer pounding into the poor piece of rubber.

"Like hell you were!" he growled, "_Medical_ leave means that you _stay home_ and get your bearings back after months in a human prison!"

"I was fine, sir," replied Holly, "I needed to _do_ something."

The Commander seemed to think for a long time before shaking his head and muttering something that sounded suspiciously like 'Trouble Kelp.' Or maybe Holly just heard wrong and he had just muttered that _she_ was trouble. Or in trouble.

Root took a breath.

"Holly, from now on, I am _expressly_ forbidding you to just leave the city."

"Unless we're evacuating," he added a moment later.

Holly nodded curtly. If it weren't for the war, she imagined that her career would have been finished some ten times over by now.

**

* * *

Baku, Nepal**

Holly Short opened her eyes to realize that her head was resting on the front pocket of a large brown jacket. She also happened to be horizontal and on a stiff, but slightly padded surface, with her head on something that didn't feel all that different, but was elevated just a bit.

"Ugh…" she groaned, barely awake and slightly displeased with herself.

How many all-nighters had she pulled off as a student, then as an academy trainee, then as a Recon officer, then as a detective? Undoubtedly it was far more than the number done by both humans in the room combined.

At least she could pride herself in the fact that she fell asleep last. If memory served right, Artemis gave up just a few minutes after arriving, falling asleep on the bed where he was sitting and falling over seconds later. Minerva didn't even bother trying to wake him up, and let sleep claim her too.

Wait… her head pillowed on a brown jacket….

Holly groaned quietly again, finally realizing exactly the position that she had fallen asleep in. She twisted her neck to see the blonde French woman asleep, facing her, and with a troubled expression that made it seem like she was having a nightmare.

Well, nightmare or not, Holly decided she wasn't going to give Minerva something like _this_ to laugh at when she woke up. With half-sleeping limbs pushing against the hard mattress, the elf dragged herself off the bed and pulled herself into a chair a few feet away.

Curling herself into a little elfin ball, Holly realized that despite how hard the bed was, it was still better than the chair.

'_But still…' _she thought hazily, _'…not worth letting Minerva see that… Arty does make a nice pillow though... just the right height…'_

She never did get to finish that particular train of thought. Her head lolled forward, and she fell asleep seconds later.

Holly woke up again to hear somebody complaining.

"Not even so much as a single tea leaf in the entire room!"

"Oh shut up, Fowl!" cried a distinctly displeased female voice. Holly decided without looking that this one was definitely Minerva. "We need to get _away _from here!"

Holly sat up groggily and glared at the blonde. It took her brain a moment to realize that actually, what Minerva said made perfect sense.

"Would you two geniuses mind if much if I cut in and asked what just happened at the monastery?" Holly suddenly blurted out.

"Genii," corrected the two humans at once.

The elf groaned. At the moment, she couldn't decide who was more annoying.

"It has to have been a fairy- or a group of fairies," guessed Minerva immediately, looking slightly embarrassed at the synchronized response, "Humans haven't been able to capture a complete time stop module yet, nor can they work without warlocks to charge them."

Holly saw Artemis' brow wrinkle in frustration.

"Whoever it is," he said, irritated, "they've got some very odd methods. I can barely begin to guess at why one might create a completely unconfined time stop and not, say, kill us while we were inside."

"Wonderful," muttered Holly.

Artemis looked at the elf thoughtfully, and then turned to Minerva.

"What do you think the odds of us finding sleeping pills in this town are?"

"What for?" she asked, giving him a confused look.

The Irish teen paused, and Holly imagined that he was probably thinking over whether or not to actually reveal method for escaping a time field. He sort of had to though.

"Time stop fields relate to one's state of consciousness," he explained quickly, nodded slightly towards Holly. "I escaped a time field once by drinking tranquilizer-laced wine."

He didn't go into details. And after a long look, Minerva didn't press him for them either.

"Stay here," she said, getting up, "I'll go ask the inn's owner." The blonde had just stepped foot outside the door when she turned back. "You'd better have something pretty damn brilliant by the time I get back, Fowl. I for one don't want to stay where we'll get frozen in time."

* * *

Minerva Paradizo actually had a fairly good idea of who could be behind the time field. She also knew that ultimately, it didn't matter all that much even if they _were_ caught in another time stop. But still, she rushed to get sleeping pills.

Certainly, she was a certified genius, but Artemis Fowl seemed to know a few things about the fairy People that even she didn't. And even she wasn't arrogant enough to turn down that kind of help. Not right now, anyway.

Maybe the thought that they would be able to escape a time stop would help them feel just a little more in control. Minerva knew that that was a good feeling to have, though it was one that she was missing quite a bit lately.

She hurried down the hall just a little faster.

**

* * *

Fowl Manor, Ireland**

"Artemis Fowl?"

"The Second speaking," answered Hunter with slight irritation, glancing at the clock on the wall. Who called this early in the morning anyhow? No one but himself, that much he knew.

"You were injured by an inmate in Strangeroads Prison," continued the caller without pausing, "You've been looking for the escapees, haven't you?"

The voice sounded female, with a bare hint of an accent in her otherwise perfect English.

Artemis pulled the phone away and briefly stared at it before putting it back against his ear.

"Who is this?" he asked sharply.

"A person who wants to help you catch the escapees," replied the caller simply.

"A better question then," snapped Fowl quickly, "Who are you with?"

"With?" questioned the caller, "I'm not _with_ anyone, Artemis Fowl."

Artemis shook his head. That was no answer at all. It was probably one of the crime families that had caught up with those people in the prison and were offering him to chance to bring them back to Europe to get on his good side, or maybe for something in return. The American Mafia maybe? He doubted they were European- if it was a European group, he'd probably already know about it.

"I want them caught more than you do, Fowl."

Well, maybe it wasn't quite as Artemis had imagined then. He sighed.

"Get on with it then," he got up and headed towards his study. "Say what you were going to say. Be quick- I'm a busy man."

If this person had enough bravado to call _him_ like this and not announce her association, then telling her to be quick would make her anything but. That would give him enough time to trace the call.

"You already have something against Sean Ackart, Holly Short and their associates," said the caller with no indication of speeding up, "I can offer you help in catching them and a very some excellent motivation to go along with that."

Fowl sat down at his desk and pressed a thumb against a gel reader on his desk, bringing his computer out of sleep mode.

"And what might that be?"

"A challenge, Fowl, and a reward," continued the woman, "Ackart is a very smart boy. I daresay he's as good as you were at his age. But he's on the fairies' side."

Artemis smirked. This person was so obviously trying to goad him it was almost laughable. He opened one of his own programs and a Bluetooth icon flashed on the computer screen next to one of a cellular phone. He clicked the phone icon and a message came up.

_Tracing call._

"I don't actually care if fairies win or fairies lose, Mrs. I-don't-have-a-name," Artemis replied, keeping his eyes on the screen, "what else do you have?"

The caller paused for a moment.

"Gold," she said finally, "enough to nearly satisfy even someone like you. That and more. More than you can imagine, in fact."

"Oh, I don't know about that…" muttered Fowl, "I can imagine quite a bit."

The woman didn't respond to that.

"I've sent some of my intel to your personal e-mail," she said instead.

_Call traced._

A readout flashed onto the screen. Artemis scanned it in a bit more than a second and his eyebrows raised. But then he frowned.

"Which one?" he asked, keeping his voice casual.

"All of them."

* * *

About two hours later, Artemis Fowl decided exactly what he was going to do. First, a phone call was in order.

The phone rang three times before someone picked up.

"_Wei?"_ answered

"Cut the theatrics, Sung," the Hunter cut in harshly, "you know it's me."

The voice suddenly changed.

"Oh, of course!" said the man, now in English that seemed to be equal parts Oxford and Peking University. "Mister Miasky, always the hasty one. What can I do for you, my friend?"

Artemis rolled his eyes. _His friend._ Right.

"You still owe me for that time with the protesters on your mainframe. I'm calling in a favor."

"They were not protesters," corrected the man, "They were dangerous rebel terrorists working with-"

Artemis coughed loudly, cutting his off.

"Hm…" the man paused, "What kind of favor do you ask for?"

"I presume you have people in Kathmandu?"

"Maybe…" replied the man suspiciously.

Artemis sighed.

"You have at least eight agents stationed within twenty miles of Kathmandu International Airport. Should I start naming names?"

"Ah, no need, no need." The reply was quick this time. "Yes, we do have people. What do you want?"

"I need to catch someone."

* * *

Artemis Fowl strode out into one of the manor's living rooms several minutes later. As he had seen on the security cameras, Opal was curled up on a large armchair, her legs neatly tucked beneath her, and a small laptop on her knees. A half-empty box of chocolate truffles was on the coffee table in front of her, and by the looks of it, she had at least one truffle stuffed in her left cheek at the moment.

"By the way you eat those things, one might think I laced them with nicotine," said Artemis as he approached her with a small stack of papers under one arm.

The woman smiled and held out a palm. Fowl heard a tiny rustling sound like one of his papers being crinkled up as purple sparks danced along Opal's fingertips.

"Nicotine or not, dear," she replied confidently, "it won't bother me."

Artemis sat down gently on the arm her chair and peered over her shoulder, uninterested in her light show.

"Take a look at this for me, won't you?" he asked, handing her the papers.

The woman frowned, clearly displeased at being interrupted, but silently took the documents, reading through the first few faster than most people could speak their headings out loud. Her expression turned to a humored one quickly though, and she stopped flipping when she reached a large, full-page picture. Now she laughed openly.

"You seem to have quite the obsessive fan," she noted with a smirk. She looked back at the photo. "Plastic surgery?"

Artemis shook his head.

"I'm not that pale," protested Fowl.

Opal looked quickly between him and the picture.

"Yes, you are," she replied matter-of-factly.

"Anyway, it seems a bit excessive," Fowl answered, ignoring the jab. "The picture's authentic though, that much I'm sure of."

"So what are you bothering me for?" asked Opal, "Leave him alone- or kill him. It doesn't matter to me."

"He's a copycat criminal," scowled Fowl, "And a well-connected one too, by the looks of it. The important thing is that I can't have people thinking that I'm a double agent- this 'Artemis' is using my methods and working with the fairies. Killing him won't do."

He took the stack of papers back and stood up, shuffling through them to find a specific picture.

"No, I think for an act this blatantly against _me_," Artemis continued, "he needs to be humiliated a little."

He set a single piece of paper back down, with a color photograph covering half the page.

"Let's see how well he knows my methods."

Fowl pointed a single pale finger at a figure in the photo- a female elf in a tight-fitting t-shirt who sported auburn hair that looked to be the slightly overgrown remnants of a crew cut.

"I want to begin with his companion," Artemis announced, "I think you'll see why I'm asking you."

A single glance told Opal what she needed. Right on the shirt, in bold letters, ran the words _Lower Elements Police Academy_.

Opal suddenly smiled. It was actually a smile that could have been drawn directly from a movie villain, which briefly made Artemis wonder if the former pixie practiced evil smiles. Knowing her, she probably did.

"A police officer," exclaimed Opal happily, "now why didn't you say so beforehand?"

* * *

**Baku, Nepal**

Artemis Fowl ripped a piece of hotel stationary (it was actually just a piece of paper from an old notepad left on the room's desk) neatly in half and handed one part to Holly. He put a single white sleeping pill on the paper before folding it in half again. A brief glance around the room later, he shrugged slightly and pulled out the C Cube from his pocket. Using it as a weight, he put it on top of the folded paper and brought his fist down hard on the top.

Tough polymer ensured that his hand would break before the C Cube would.

By the time he lifted the device off the table and uncovered the pill, it was already just a small pile of white dust. Looking across the table told him that Holly had the same thing. She apparently opted to use her fist though. The Captain seemed to be staring at the white powder in front of her.

Minutes later, Artemis had three sheets of paper on the table folded multiple times, each with a measured amount of sleeping pill dust inside. Holly pocketed one, and so did Artemis, leaving one on the table for Minerva, who- being the only human who would have a chance at communicating with the locals- was out buying gasoline.

"I'm resisting a reflex to arrest somebody right now," Holly suddenly said.

"Come now, Holly," Artemis responded, smiling slightly, "the doses are probably a bit high, but this is hardly illegal."

The elf shook her head.

"White powder in small makeshift containers makes me feel like a drug dealer."

"Actually," replied the boy, his expression unchanging, "you have too little to be a dealer. With the amount we're holding, we'd be the addicts."

The Captain crossed her arms and glared at Artemis.

The teen laughed. Meanwhile, a couple thousand neurons in the back of his brain were gawking at the fact that he made a joke. Again.

"Don't worry, I'm not _that_ kind of criminal. With these doses, we'll be able to have a way to escape a time field in roughly three minutes."

"And if we don't?" challenge Holly.

At this, Artemis' face turned serious.

"I'm no pharmacist. Either it's too little and we won't be able to escape in time. Or we overdose and never wake up." He paused. "I erred towards having too little though, and I suspect that there's around an eighty percent chance of success."

Holly didn't look happy, but they'd have to take those odds, whether she liked it or not.


	34. His Godforsaken Elf

**A/N:** First, disclaimer: two stanzas are taken from a poem by Herbert Nehrich. I won't name the poem until the end, because it will likely give something about this chapter away. Second, warning: there's cursing in this chapter (it's only one word though). Just as a side note, I think this is the longest chapter I've ever written.

* * *

**Artemis Fowl: The Book of Ages**

His Godforsaken Elf

* * *

_I hold it true, whate'er befall;  
I feel it, when I sorrow most;  
'Tis better to have loved and lost  
Than never to have loved at all._

_-Alfred Lord Tennyson_

* * *

**Tribhuvan International Airport, Kathmandu, Nepal**

Bijay Pariyar was not a stupid man. One did not become a section supervisor in an international airport without a fair share of intelligence. Right now, Bijay's intelligence told him that he was getting involved with something that he really should have tried to avoid.

As he made his way through the halls of the airport, he still waved to his staff with his free hand, but if anyone actually bothered to pay attention, they might have noticed that his right arm was flexed unnaturally, keeping a slightly shaking, but very tight grip on the box as he held it against his hip, and that he had an unusual amount of sweat laced in his dark hair.

The way to his office seemed oddly clear today, and more than once, Bijay wondered if people were avoiding him. He eventually decided that it was just his paranoia. Well, the whole thing could just be his paranoia. He went inside and locked the door behind him.

As section supervisor, his office was actually fairly nice. It overlooked the part of the airfield where private and temporary hangers for small aircraft were parked, and today, there was a good bit of sunlight shining in. That was, Bijay supposed, the reason why _he_ was given this particular job. The hangers, that is, not the sunshine.

He looked out towards one of the planes parked just outside a hanger, a Learjet, if memory served right. Checking the numbers on the side against the list he had on his desk computer, Bijay suddenly felt just a little more squeamish.

The plane belonged to one Minerva Paradizo.

Of course, he had never heard of the name before he was handed this assignment, but out of curiosity, he decided to check.

She turned out to be a well-respected quantum physics professor in Europe.

Actually, possibly one of the _most _respected quantum physics professors. The more off-beat news sources claimed that Dr. Paradizo had ripped a hole in spacetime before. Bijay wasn't entirely sure what that meant, but in his opinion, ripping anything more complicated than ticket stubs tended to not be all that great for business.

And here he was, setting up the camera, and pointing it at the great professor's plane. The camera, no doubt, was worth several times his annual salary. It was one of those fancy movie varieties. Or, more accurately these days, the _fairy_ variety.

The man looked at the screen once, set the device to record, and hurried out of the room. He gave an uneasy smile to the custodian outside, and quickly wiped his forehead with his sleeve.

He wondered just who might come looking for him later- the French government, for spying on one of their well-loved citizens? Paradizo herself maybe, with some fancy ray gun ready to blast him into the next dimension? But neither of those possibilities seemed as scary as just a single, diminutive fairy coming up to him and looking him in the eye. He knew that if _that_ ever happened, he might as well be a zombie.

No matter what happened, it would be kind of hard to explain to the wife and kids.

So he hoped nothing would happen, and that he was just being overly, overly paranoid.

**

* * *

Aboard a Learjet 60 XR- Russian Airspace**

It was early in the afternoon by the time Artemis and company were safely away from the Himalayan Mountains. So far, there wasn't any evidence that anyone was after them, and as far as anyone on the plane knew, it wasn't possible to create a moving time stop field in mid-air.

"We're going to be a little late," announced Minerva from the cockpit, her voice sounding slightly tinny coming from the overhead speakers, "I'm going to have to avoid a bit of airspace here because of a military exercise Moscow ordered."

"So long as we don't get shot down," commented Holly glumly.

Artemis peered over at the elf, who was rubbing the side of her head like she had a headache.

"You look unhappy, Holly," he observed, blunt as always. With Angeline as his mother, one might have figured that he had learned just a _little_ more social grace.

The elf gave him a sideways glance.

"How perceptive of you," she muttered sarcastically. Holly turned back slightly, as if she decided that she wasn't going to say anything else. Artemis caught her eye, and for just a moment, both fairy and human looked at one of the other's eyes, and one of their own.

Holly sighed.

"Sorry," she mumbled, "I shouldn't have said that." She shook her head, and quickly squeezed her eyes shut. "It's just all really frustrating. Things would be so much easier if we could just find the problem, shoot it, and be done with it."

"Hey," said Artemis quietly, with a small smile, "we've got a pretty good track record last time I checked. What could-"

"Don't ask me what could go wrong," Holly cut in, "That's just begging to be answered by some disaster."

The Irish teen frowned. She was probably right.

"At least we're making progress, right?" he asked instead, "I mean, Trouble and Nº1 are out of prison, we've got the key to Mu, we should have the map to Mu soon enough, and you and I aren't on the run anymore," he paused, "…mostly."

"You told me a while ago not to worry because we've got magic, brains and guns on our side, remember?" asked Artemis.

"That was _before_ we got arrested, shot at, nearly trapped half a dozen times, and caught in a time stop field."

Artemis hesitated for a moment, but then gently put his hand on Holly's smaller fist that was laying on the armrest between them. He pried her fingers apart softly, straightening them out into at least what he thought was a more relaxed position.

If the body was more relaxed, the mind would be too. Or at least that's what his books told him.

"How about this," he responded, tilting his head to look at her, "I'll promise you that we'll all make it out of this in fine condition, and before you know it, you'll be bored out of your mind sitting back at Police Plaza with only the rare criminal to chase after."

Holly almost smiled, and even Artemis could tell from her expression that she would actually prefer having a desk job to this insanity. And it really _was_ insanity, not least of which was because there were really only four of them in this whole world that knew what was _really_ supposed to be happening.

"And if we don't?" asked the elf quietly.

Artemis gave her a mock-indignant look.

"A Fowl always honors his promises!"

She gave him a dubious expression in return.

He sighed and laughed lightly. "Well, if we don't, then we'll all know that Artemis Fowl broke his promise and is a complete loser."

Holly furrowed her brow. "But I _already_ knew that," she answered innocently.

Artemis froze for a second, unsure of how to respond to _that_. He decided a moment later.

"Hey!" he said, lightly poking a single finger into the elf's ribs, "That was uncalled for!"

Holly laughed and wrested his finger away, but not before he had already made her squirm a bit. But Artemis was satisfied- Holly was smiling again.

'_Mission accomplished,'_ he thought with a smirk, for once not even thinking about the unorthodox methods he had used in his little 'plan'- not that he realized he had a plan until now.

"Yeah," said Holly finally, "you're right. We've still got some chances. And in the meanwhile-"

She didn't get to finish that sentence though, because at that moment, her helmet- which had been tucked under her seat- gave off a loud beeping noise.

**

* * *

Fowl Manor, Ireland**

Artemis Fowl stared at the image on his computer screen. Tucking his hand under his chin, he finally sat back a while later.

"Well… maybe this _will_ be interesting after all," he muttered. He suddenly took in a sharp breath, as if just realizing something. Then he got back to work.

A little less than an hour later, Fowl had what he needed to see. Splayed out on three windows on his screen were images of the same person: Minerva Paradizo.

The first was what had set him off. The person he had called in Chinese Ministry of State Security had gotten one of his sources in Kathmandu to obtain a running video recording of the pair of young Westerners who had rather conspicuously (at least to the airport staff) arrived in a small private jet. The image was a frozen frame of that video, showing not two, but _three_ people stepping off the jet- the elf, the imposter, and, surprisingly, a familiar-looking blonde.

That had gotten Artemis to look back at Strangeroads. The video files on the cameras were found easily enough- the modernization of the prison ensured that at least the video was stored in places other than the prison itself, to ensure that they survived tampering, of course. Actually, to erase _all_ the video from even a single section of the prison for a particular day would have been quite a task, but luckily, Artemis was only looking to see the video.

And there she was again, the blonde- but this time, in the uniform of a local emergency medical service.

The last photo came from the service itself, which confirmed that indeed, Minerva Paradizo, PhD, _was_ in fact a volunteer there. Or at least for the duration of her sabbatical from her teaching/researching post in France.

Artemis smiled. He remembered meeting the professor once. She seemed like a fairly smart woman, and if the web's academic circles were to be trusted, she _really_ was a smart woman.

He could always use the evidence he had now to blackmail her. Doubtless, it would be less than pleasing to the French government that if it was revealed that one of their most esteemed scientists was actively working with the fairy People. But Artemis decided that this was not quite what was needed at the moment.

For now at least, he knew who the brains of this odd group was. If Professor Paradizo had any secret vendetta against him, then she would be humiliated just as much as the foolish imposter would be. Unless, of course, Paradizo didn't know what was going on. Somehow, Artemis doubted that.

He decided that he needed to send an appropriate message- something aggravating, but also just nearly innocent. Using a tissue from a box on the shelf, Artemis picked up a piece of heavy stationary from a drawer in his desk.

Pocketing an old fountain pen, he went downstairs and into one of Fowl Manor's laboratories- which, of course, was built to his specifications. He set the paper down and pulled on a pair of latex gloves.

When he picked up the pen again, he didn't need to think anymore. He had already decided exactly what to write on the way down.

He smiled. This one was going to be good- especially for the imposter.

He finished writing the message seconds later, but instead of blowing on the ink to help it dry- there was no point in accidentally getting some saliva on it- he simply left it on the work bench to air dry.

It was time to put plans into action. Artemis pressed the intercom on the wall next to him.

"Coleman, get in here."

**

* * *

Learjet 60 XR**

Holly Short raised an eyebrow before pulling her helmet from under her seat and putting it on. A single glance of an eye commanded her heads up display to show why the helmet had beeped.

It was an e-mail.

Holly very nearly rolled her eyes, but then saw that the message was red-tagged with the LEP's priority code. If it had been any other non-urgent message, the helmet would hardly have made a sound.

She opened the file.

It was from Trouble, and had only five words, followed by an image.

_Found the Map. Any ideas?_

The image showed a map (of course), but it was a simple drawing, in an unassuming dark brown color, that showed the general outline of the world's landmasses. Actually, it was a remarkably un-detailed map, and Holly noticed immediately that many of the smaller islands of the world weren't even shown. In the Pacific Ocean, nothing smaller than New Zealand was even on the map.

Holly was about to frown, but then she saw the edges of the map.

She wore a wide grin after that.

"_N'dar é silmarils: azaghâl, mîm, balin,_" she recited from memory. She turned so that the image on the visor overlay Artemis' face, and she was facing him now. "I think we just found our missing island."

Holly had to consciously slow herself down from ripping the helmet right off her head. She set it on her lap not a second later though, and swiveled the external projector upwards. A few clicks and a voice command later, the image she saw on the visor was projected up into the air.

Holly pointed at the boarder of gems, tracing a finger around the entire edge.

"_Azaghâl- _amethyst;_ mîm_- topaz;_ balin_- emerald," she paused briefly at as she reached each gem.

"And in the middle of all three," muttered Artemis. His eyes widened as they followed each gem, tracing them to the point on the map that looked about the same length from all of them.

It was right in the middle of the South Pacific.

"We'll need a printout of this," said the boy quickly, "to mark a more precise location."

But then he slowed down, and dropped his gaze from the projection to Holly herself.

"I told you," he said with a light laugh, "We're almost home, Holly."

The elf looked at that empty spot on the map with hope in her eyes now. Maybe Artemis was right after all.

**

* * *

Charles de Gaulle International Airport, Paris, France- six hours later**

Matthew Coleman knew that he wasn't as good a bodyguard as Domovoi Butler was.

He knew that at his prime, Butler could have pinned him against any nearby surface in slightly less than five seconds. He knew that Butler could assemble, aim, and shoot nearly any production handgun known to man approximately sixty percent faster than he could. He also knew that Butler was a much better chef than he was.

Coleman had never met the legendary Butler before, and had only briefly met his sister a few times, but these were facts that his employer never let him forget.

Not only was Coleman not as good as Butler, but he never would be- at least according to Artemis Fowl II.

He comforted himself in the fact that at least _he_ was the one who was alive. Better that then be the next-to-invincible, but already dead Domovoi Butler. Even if all the major crime organizations put you next to God in their list of feared individuals, that didn't mean you could survive several dozen assassins' bullets in the Russian Arctic.

He had to admit that Butler had the cooler name though.

Right now, standing in one of the bathrooms in Charles de Gaulle International in a stolen airport employee's uniform, he had to wonder whether Fowl's old bodyguard ever had to do this sort of thing.

He took one last look in the mirror, adjusted his cap, and picked up a long duffle bag before stepping out into the hall. The hands-free headset clipped on his ear crackled to life the moment he was out. He pushed the only button on the device, and a voice spoke immediately.

"I take it you're not in place yet?" asked the cold voice of Artemis Fowl.

Coleman almost shuddered. Did Fowl _know _he just came out of the bathroom? A quick look around told him that there weren't any security cameras pointed at him at the moment- obviously, since it _was_ right in front of a bathroom. But still… you never knew with Artemis Fowl.

"No, sir," he replied professionally, "I'll be there in five minutes."

* * *

Ever since the (now nonexistent) Russian Mafiya had dubbed him the Hunter, Artemis Fowl had felt as if he should play the role a little bit- maybe _once_ get behind the scope of a high powered rifle, or physically catch _somebody_, or… really anything that might have made his title appropriate.

As it was, Artemis Fowl had never shot anything other than a practice target in the Manor's old range, and had never carried any weapon besides an old American SIG Sauer semiautomatic handgun. And even that, he really only occasionally had on him for sentimental reasons. It had been Butler's favorite gun.

Opal, naturally, likened the weapon to a Neanderthal's club and offered him a Koboi Labs blaster on occasion, offers which he rejected politely, but firmly, each time. He even rejected the offer when she told him she would give him a blaster that she had personally autographed (Opal didn't talk to him for about a week after that one).

But today was not a day when Artemis was feeling particularly sentimental. As such, he was completely unarmed (not that it would have made a difference), and the only "special" item he carried with him was the pair of long, rectangular, mirrored sunglasses, fitted with a bit of old LEP anti-shield nano-layer- a technology which, surprisingly, human scientists were only beginning to reverse-engineer.

Well, he also carried a pair of binoculars with him, but that was about it.

He pulled out his cell phone and selected the first number on speed dial.

"I take it you're not in place yet?" he asked his bodyguard as soon as he picked up. Coleman was still relatively new, so Artemis would have actually been surprised if he _was_ in place. Still, there was obviously enough time in the plan, so his lateness didn't bother Artemis too much. He didn't even bother to draw a comparison to Butler before hanging up.

After purchasing a random newsmagazine from one of the airport convenience stores, Artemis sat down on one of the new terminal's chairs, four seats away from the nearest person. A glass wall was in front of him, offering a wide view of several parked planes and a runway. A window cleaner washed the glass off to one side, standing on a raised platform on the outside, and completely ignoring everyone past the half inch of clear material.

"Why do I get the feeling that you're smiling, Opal?" asked Artemis without turning around.

Opal Koboi walked up behind him and brushed off the next seat. Artemis spared a glance that told him that, like always, the woman somehow sat on the chair in a way that made it feel like a throne. He briefly wondered how Opal might have done with a wooden crate to sit on.

"Using my powers makes me happy," she answered, sounding- for the moment- quite reasonable. "Of course, the man was an absolute _moron_," she continued, her tone changing quickly now, "I _would_ say that after he comes out of this ordeal, that he would drop a couple dozen IQ points, but honestly, he _doesn't have_ a couple dozen to lose in the first place. And what is it with men and mammary glands? I _swear_ the idiot was drooling- I could barely get him to look me in the eye!"

Artemis consciously stopped himself from rolling his own eyes. Opal was wearing an absurdly low-cut dress, after all; but somehow, he doubted the last part of her story very much. He nodded instead, trying to look very appreciative.

So she was a control freak- he hadn't seen her this excited in months- but then again, he knew that already.

"Now," said the woman sharply, "shut up and let me concentrate, or you're going to miss the elf. This guy's brain feels like a sewer."

She shut her eyes and her head bowed down a little, and to any other observer, Opal would have probably looked like she was taking a nap.

Artemis' eyebrow twitched, but he didn't say anything. He lifted his binoculars to his eyes and quietly watched a plane take off.

* * *

Holly Short was in a very good mood. She had her first round of legitimate, unforced, non-sarcastic and somewhat-sustained laughter today. It was actually caused by Nº1's expression after they had contacted Haven about the location of Mu.

Actually, the warlock's expression wasn't all _that_ funny, and earned only a slight chuckle from Artemis. Holly thought that her own reaction was probably more due to the relief she felt now. Now they could _act_. Now they knew exactly what they were supposed to do.

Holly felt like an elf with purpose again, and it felt _good_.

Even the sunlight that hit her when they had landed and Minerva opened the door didn't bother her. That sort of thing usually irritated fairies to no end. Holly knew that in the sun, her powers weren't as strong, but her suit protected her from the worst of the rays' effects, and despite the lingering smell of exhaust and jet fuel on the ground, she still wanted to go outside.

"We need to go through customs," muttered Minerva from the side of her mouth as she prepared to step off the plane. "Did Foaly fix your ID stuff yet?" she asked Artemis.

The boy nodded. "I can still use my ID. Not that it matters, Foaly said that my information wasn't even up on Interpol yet."

Minerva nodded slightly, and turned to Holly. "I called ahead and we have a rental car- a silver Prius. That's a car with-"

"I've got it," said Holly, cutting off Minerva's description. The elf had pulled an image of the type of car from her helmet's computer almost immediately after she had said the name, and it had appeared on the side of her heads up display.

"Parking lot B then," said Minerva, nodding outside towards her right before stepping out of the plane.

Artemis followed behind her, but bent down long enough to whisper to Holly with a smile.

"We're almost there."

Though he couldn't see it through her helmet's reflective front, Holly smiled back before shimmering out of sight.

* * *

It was a very good thing that Matthew Coleman was a patient man. Being a bodyguard was actually his third career, but it seemed that this one required more patience than either a stint in the army in Korea, or his more recent job as a security contractor in Iraq.

Well, actually, maybe not Korea. _That_ job was as boring as hell.

Being a bodyguard was nice though- fewer explosives to deal with.

That wasn't to say that he expected to be doing _this_ when he signed on with Artemis Fowl. But if he'd learned anything from his last two jobs, it was that you did what you were told to do when you were on the job. Truthfully, this was easier when your boss was Artemis Fowl, a man who- despite his attitude- Coleman had to respect. For one thing, Fowl probably had at least three times the IQ points of his last employer.

But _this_ part of the job? This was weird, to say the least.

He had been up in a half-constructed new terminal in Charles de Gaulle, a couple hundred feet away from the runways. He'd left his bag in a rather isolated corner of the building, one where the windows hadn't even been put up yet. Then he'd spent the next half hour wandering, pretending that he had something to do- because even that was less suspicious than hanging around a corner.

His cell phone chirped, and he picked up before the first ring finished. But it wasn't even a call, just a short text message that flashed on the screen.

_She's here._

Leave it to Artemis Fowl to use proper capitalization and punctuation even in a text message.

But that was enough to get Coleman moving. He was back next to his bag in ten steps, and unzipped it. Inside was a long, polished dart rifle- disassembled, of course. Getting the gun to where it was now was actually easier than expected. Charles de Gaulle had pretty good security, as far as airports went, but nobody expected an attack on a part of the building that wasn't even fully built yet. It wouldn't be worth it: not enough people were around to get killed.

Assembling the gun as quickly as he could, Coleman couldn't help but feel a little like a poacher. He didn't even bother wondering where Fowl had gotten _this_.

He had the weapon assembled in record time. For him, that is. He could almost imagine Fowl frowning at him and noting how slow he was compared to Butler. Biting down an irritated grunt, Coleman swung the gun out towards the airfield.

It took nearly a minute before he could find the right plane through the scope though, and another few seconds for him to adjust the angle of the shot according to the range. It didn't look too bad, assuming, of course, that no planes were rolling by when he needed to shoot.

_Just fire at the elf when she is clear_, Fowl had said. Ordered, actually, not said.

And that was it.

Surely the creature would be shielded? Fowl said not to worry, and Coleman figured, that it had something to do with the gun's scope. It wasn't thermal, so it might have been one of those new prototype lenses that Fowl had been working on.

And what would happen when the elf fell to the ground?

Fowl said not to worry about that either.

An attractive blonde woman exited the plane, followed by a youngish-looking man in a dark business suit. A man who looked remarkably like…

Coleman blinked.

No way, this was just too weird.

Quickly bringing himself back to the job at hand, he gently swiveled the weapon ever so slightly to follow a third, slightly blurry figure that had just exited. It had to be a fairy. The way he figured, it was probably shielded too.

It took off with a set of mechanical wings, and came almost right towards his direction.

Gritting his teeth slightly, Coleman took a short breath and aimed for the creature's chest. He held it for half a second, and slowly exhaled, pulling the trigger back smoothly.

_PFFT_

The dart hit the fairy… and bounced right off. Her image flickered a little, and seemed to solidify though.

Coleman took a sharp breath- completely unlike a shooting breath. What the hell was going on?

The fairy noticed too, apparently, because it suddenly jolted upwards, then down. But it didn't seem to know _where_ the shot came from, because it was flying straight towards him, still. It would spot him in seconds, if it didn't already. It was too close.

Coleman felt his pulse quicken as he pushed the rifle aside.

Fowl wasn't going to like this.

Pulling his much smaller handgun from the side pocket of the duffle, Coleman aimed briefly, and fired three shots. It was only after he fired that he marveled at the fact that he could actually _see _the fairy with his own eyes- just barely though.

The fairy went down.

* * *

At first, Holly Short felt like somebody had punched her in the neck. Hard.

Temporarily blinded by pain, her mind nonetheless drew up the first image that it could, even as she accidentally jerked at her flight controls and swerved. It was a bird, said her brain, those things hit planes all the time.

But wait, no, that couldn't be right. There weren't any birds nearby, and what were the chances of a _bird_ hitting her neck. She didn't have all that long of a neck…

She didn't even notice that the pain had distracted her from shielding.

Then something hit her in the stomach. She didn't even hear it. Sure, the auto-armor diffused the impact, but it still knocked every bit of breath from her lungs in a half-second wheeze. Was her mind working a bit more properly at the moment, Holly might have imagined that was what it felt like to be punched by Butler.

She had the vague sensation of her chest being thrown back, though her head and limbs continued to rush forward. The building right in front of her seemed to drift slowly downwards, even as her arm passed over it in her view. The motion was so insanely _slow_, as if everything was happening underwater, or in some thick liquid.

Even as thin blue sparks leapt through the fabric of her clothes and towards her chest, Holly Short blacked out.

* * *

Minerva was the first person to notice the note.

She pulled it from under the windshield wiper of the car, expecting some sort of advertisement- probably from the rental agency. But then she unfolded it and read it. She wrinkled her brow.

"Something the matter?" asked Artemis, coming up behind her, apparently pleased that his passport checked out without incident.

Minerva shifted the paper so that he could see it.

"Probably some joke," she muttered with a scowl.

* * *

Artemis had only read the first line of writing, but something already felt off. He frowned and read the whole note.

_he clung for many years  
to others whom he hated  
but never lost his fears  
like Sigmund Freud has stated_

_he did not have a soul  
specific to himself  
it's likely someone stole  
his godforsaken elf.  
_

_Cheers,_

_-DrFRDS_

He felt a cold tremor pass through his whole body. Half a second later, his brain caught up with his subconscious reaction.

The straight backs of the lowercase _h_'s. The way the s on _Sigmund Freund_ curved forwards slightly on the tail end. The way the word _elf_ was written.

That was his own handwriting.

He grabbed the sheet of paper, but didn't even pull. Minerva was still holding the other side, and her hand had been jerked back a little.

Artemis read the note a second time. Then a third.

With his heart notably pounding in his chest, the boy whipped his head around, scanning the area around the car. Nothing.

He let go of the paper with a shaking hand. Then he whispered a single word.

"_Fuck…_"

* * *

**A/N:** The poem is called "The Missing Elf." Review please, as we are now transitioning towards the final section of this story, and I'd like to know what you think of how the story's doing.


	35. The Coin

**A/N:** It's been a full year since I've starting publishing this story. And WOW. The reader response to this story has been absolutely unbelievable! In addition to the surprisingly high readership, Book of Ages has been nominated for two Orion Awards (I'd ask you guys to vote, but it seems that besides nominations, the Orion Awards have been defunct for a while). But really, I'd like to thank everyone who has ever read and/or reviewed this story for making this story so successful. I love you all. =)

**

* * *

Artemis Fowl: The Book of Ages**

The Coin

* * *

A red-robed monk sat cross-legged in front of a long black wall. He stared straight into the dark surface, which reflected the dim light of the room irregularly and in a constantly shifting pattern, as if somebody had taken a giant slab of obsidian and trapped a restless spirit in it.

The man closed his eyes for a moment and his brow furrowed. The spot on the rock right in front of him grew dark, but slowly resolved into a much brighter image. The monk opened his eyes, his expression more curious than anything else.

The image of Captain Holly Short was on the wall. And the Captain was falling out of the sky. She hit the dark asphalt beneath her on her back, her mechanical wings silently taking the brunt of the fall. There went the case's shiny epoxy coating.

The monk's expression didn't change when, a few seconds later, the unconscious fairy was picked up by the driver of a train of baggage cars and unceremoniously dumped into the section right behind the seats. The driver had the blank, barely-aware look of one who was under a particularly heavy dose of the _mesmer_.

The vehicle was just starting to roll away when the scene on the wall rippled and shuddered. The obsidian surface twisted and warped outward, as if it were suddenly made of water. A voice erupted from the wall, shaking the flowing surface with each syllable.

"Still in that form, Master?" came the voice with a hint of laughter in the tone.

The monk grunted. "I prefer to be able to cross my legs and sit. You should try it sometime, and maybe learn to sit still while you're at it."

The wall rippled again as the voice chuckled. "Maybe… but I'm not sure that's possible."

"Should I go get her then?" it asked, suddenly serious. A small part of the wall solidified and resolved into the image of Captain Short lying on top of several pieces of luggage. "She looks uncomfortable."

The monk shook his head almost immediately. "No, let her be. Fowl needs to get his priorities in order."

* * *

**Charles de Gaulle International Airport, Paris, France**

Of the three contributing authors to _The Psychology of Fear_, sixth edition, Dr. Ferdinand Roy Dean Schlippe was the one who had written the most of the sections entitled _Panic_, _Stupor, _and _Depression_. The cover of the book had the three authors listed in alphabetical order, and only had their last names, but the occasional bored student stumbled on the inside cover page that had the authors' full names.

It was a few months after the text was published that somebody realized the name of one of the authors could be turned into a pun, of all things. By the time it was being widely used in major universities, it was a common joke that the whole textbook was just one giant Freudian Slip (no accidental sexual references had ever been found, though more than a few tended to be scrawled on the inside covers of used copies of the book). More than one professor introduced the book this way ever since, to varying degrees of laughter from the lecture hall.

It was no doubt a good book though, and Freudian Slip or not, Dr. Schlippe certainly did know what he was talking about.

Only a few people knew though, that Dr. Schlippe was actually a pseudonym used by Artemis Fowl II to contribute to the work at the age of twenty one.

The younger Artemis Fowl- not from this timeline- certainly didn't know that such a book had ever been written (partially) by him.

It was coincidental then, that his current reaction could have been a classic example included in the _Stupor_ section. Well, as classic as losing your elf friend to your megalomaniac alternate-self can be.

Artemis didn't feel Minerva tapping his shoulder. He didn't hear her call out his name with concern and confusion. His eyes flitted from one end of the rented car to the other, then back, all in less than a second. Then they became slightly unfocused, as if momentarily forgetting what they were looking for.

A hand shook him roughly.

"Fowl!" somebody snapped, "What's wrong with you?"

Artemis blinked, and slowly turned his head. It seemed to take a second before he realized that he was looking at a golden-haired woman, and another second before he recognized that the woman was Minerva.

"What's going on?" the blonde asked again, this time with concern and confusion.

"_He's_ taken her…" whispered Artemis, feeling a shiver run up his spine even as he spoke. "Me, I mean," he added. He paused for a second, as if suddenly realizing how unclear he had been. He took a short breath. "Artemis Fowl the Second… of _this_ world… has captured Holly."

He realized that by the time he had said those last few words, his throat had gone dry.

Artemis thought he saw a look of alarm sweep over Minerva's face, but at the moment, he really wasn't paying too much attention to her.

"Well, Master Fowl," the woman said after a pause, "what do we do?"

The teen stared at her blankly, feeling almost like he was watching the whole situation from a distance. It was like the gears in his brain had stopped turning. Against a younger version of himself, he stood a reasonable chance, but against _this_ Artemis, in _this_ world… he wasn't sure there was anything he could do.

Minerva raised a thin eyebrow ever so slightly.

"Don't look at me," she said, "you're the criminal mastermind here, not me."

_You're the criminal mastermind…_

Artemis wiped his dry lips against the back of his hand as he glanced towards the nearest airport building and swallowed. There was no way they would find Holly _there_.

That meant there was one thing, and only one thing he could do. And in all likelihood, that option would just make things worse.

* * *

Artemis Fowl looked almost like a concerned medic as he rolled up the elf's uniform sleeve and gently pushed a needle into the vein just under her bicep. The elf in question- a Captain Holly Short of the LEP, if her nametag was to be trusted- lay on one of the couches reclined seats of the Fowl Learjet, her arms and legs cuffed to the seat itself by long pieces of plastic cable-ties. Her helmet, gun, wings and even her outer auto-armor uniform layer had been put inside a lead-lined safe towards the front of the jet. There was no need for any errant signals to escape from her equipment. Artemis hooked the anesthetic drip on the next seat, but far enough so that he was sure the elf couldn't reach it if she suddenly became conscious again.

He continued to observe the elf even as he took his gloves off, his eyes wandering from her flaming hair to her closed eyes. The eyes were strange. Fowl discovered during his cursory examination that they were different colors, but there was nothing artificial about them. Odd.

"I wonder," the man said suddenly, "what you would have done if the shot had been fatal."

Most other men would have shifted uncomfortably at the question, but behind his employer, Matthew Coleman didn't move.

"It was either she got captured or she escaped, sir," answered Coleman carefully, "I thought that given her distance and the operational range of the Glock 17 that there would be… a lowered chance of killing her."

Artemis sighed and threw away the latex gloves.

"You are a _very_ lucky man, Coleman." He turned without looking at his bodyguard and started heading up the aisle on the plane. "You'll be piloting today, I think. I'd like to have a look at the dear Captain's technology. It's… different from what we're used to."

"Where to, sir?" asked Coleman.

"The Manor," Artemis didn't break pace, "Oh, and I'll see to it that Opal gives you one of her laser blasters. I'd prefer not to take another chance like you did today."

**

* * *

Temporary Housing Block, Former Industrial District, Haven City**

The imp Nº1 was as surprised as anybody else was when he received Holly Short's reply to Trouble's message about the World Map.

"What do you think?" asked Trouble in a low voice as he watched Nº1 finish reading the message.

The imp laughed and jumped to his feet, waving the datapad he'd just read around with glee.

"What do I _think_?" he exclaimed, "Marvelous, excellent, _stupendous_! The whole thing with splitting the Map and Key would be just the kind of thing Qwan told me the old warlocks would do." He rushed to the door. "Come on, we're going to Foaly. We're finally going to get this whole mess cleared up!"

Trouble couldn't help but smile as he followed the shorter fairy out, but he had to consciously calm himself down. Mu and the Book of Ages felt so close now, all they had to do was _go_.

* * *

Lieutenant Colonel Holly Short decided that the focusing crystal from her Softnose was as clean as it was ever going to get. With a restless scowl, she tossed the old cleaning rag onto her desk and slapped the blood-red crystal back into its slot on her weapon. She had been out on Recon patrol just the previous morning, and wasn't scheduled to go again for at least another day. But sitting here cleaning rocks was no better than sitting in prison.

She grabbed her wings and walked briskly out of her so-called "office," intending to tell Foaly she was going on another run. She heard the voice of that odd little imp coming from Foaly's workshop before she reached it and slowed her pace, curious.

"We're sure!" he said, a bit too enthusiastically for Holly's taste. "The message is obvious, we _have_ the location of Book of Ages!"

Holly stopped in the hall and gasped. She heard Trouble mutter in agreement and squeezed her eyes shut, swallowing hard. They would be gone soon. And then _he_ would be gone with them!

Her hands balled into fists and she felt like punching the wall next to her, but stopped at the last moment, knowing it would make too loud of a noise. Instead, she turned and stalked silently out of the building.

A Recon run along the disputed city blocks would help calm her… she hoped.

* * *

Minutes later, Holly Short hovered over a cleared field near the human-occupied part of Haven. To say that what she saw now was unnerving would have been quite the understatement.

The Mud Men had been destroying the supports for several levels of Haven City for months now. It seemed that they were working on every other level, and the LEP had never really found out why. A few people thought it might have been to cope with claustrophobia. Others had thought maybe the humans intended to bring in even more vehicles, larger ones like their lumbering Abrams tanks to finish the takeover of the city. But the engineers assured them that they could blow out the ground beneath any Mud Man stupid enough to drive a heavy tank into the city. Those things were simply too heavy for their own good.

Holly had supported the tank theory. It seemed just like Mud Men to bully their way towards their goals with nothing but brute force.

But she hadn't been expecting _this_.

Dozens of planes- _air_planes- had been lined up in the field in the mere days since this part of Haven had been patrolled. Most were far too small for a human to fit inside, and none of them looked to have any kind of cockpit.

Holly suddenly got a sick feeling in her stomach.

She had heard of these before as being used extensively in recent Mud Man conflicts in the Middle East and Central Asia, but she had never actually seen one before.

_Drones_.

Semiautonomous robotic aircraft armed with anything from tiny cameras to massive chain guns and missiles. If anyone had told her before that Mud Men intended to take over Haven using _aircraft_, she could have laughed out loud- there was no way those things could navigate the tunnels and levels of Haven City.

But now they could. And they could control the human side of Haven, leaving the ground troops free…

"D'Arvit," breathed Holly, her eyes wide as she scanned the field. She glanced once at her helmet's display to make sure what she was seeing was being recorded. But it felt like even that wouldn't be enough.

The elf was about to open a channel to Foaly, but then remembered he might still be meeting with Trouble and the imp. She opened the channel anyway, and flagged her call with a priority code.

"What's the emergency?" asked Foaly as his face appeared on Holly's translucent helmet display. She thought she heard a little bit of sarcasm in his voice, but that was already a big change from before the war. Back then, you'd have to be deaf to miss the sarcasm.

"Look at my cam feed Foaly, now," she ordered sternly.

Holly saw the centaur mouth drop a second later. He then pulled at his sleeve and wiped something just under the camera, his eyes bulged out when he was done. He'd just finished wiping his screen, apparently.

"D'Arvit," cursed Foaly loudly.

"That's what I said too," responded the elf, panning her gaze from side to side.

Foaly seemed to snap out of his amazement for a moment.

"I'm calling the Commander," said the centaur quickly, "Can you stay hidden?"

"I'll try," muttered Holly, beginning to circle the mass of drones, but afraid to fly right above any of them, as if the airspace near them was cursed.

"Good," replied Foaly, "Julius will probably want to send in a full Recon team soon."

For a few minutes, all thoughts of Trouble Kelp were pushed from the Lieutenant's mind. At any other time, that might have been a relief. Not this time though.

**

* * *

L'Autoroute du Nord, Paris, France**

Minerva drove the rented car in silence. The teen next to her was too preoccupied with his own thoughts to even think of trying to speak. That much about the situation, at least, was perfectly understandable.

Artemis Fowl noticed for the fifth time in ten minutes that the coin in his hand was glistening with sweat. He wiped dry it on his shirt. Again.

But still, he held the gold fairy coin in his hand as if it was a priceless charm. It wasn't a charm, of course, but to him, it was priceless- now more than ever. The perfectly circular piece of gold with a tiny hole dead-center.

It had been one of Holly's gifts to him. That, and his mother's sanity, and his father life, and his bodyguard's life, and his eye (though whether or not _that _was a gift was debatable), and on more than one occasion- his own life.

But the coin was special. She had given it to him as a reminder of his decency, of his humanity, of the good that he had in him. If he hadn't had enough good in him to help her recover her severed trigger finger in the Russian Arctic years ago, she would have never been able to make the shot that bore right through the coin. Right now, it represented to Artemis everything that separated him from his older counterpart in this world.

He and Minerva had searched the airport fruitlessly for hours. It wasn't what one would consider an easy search. For one thing, they couldn't simply go up to airport security and ask if they had seen an elf flying around any of the runways recently.

Artemis knew it was useless to search, but he did so anyway. It felt wrong not to, and occupied him somewhat as his mind continued to search for clues.

How had the elder Fowl found out? And even if he knew, what did he want?

Artemis had lost count of the number of scenarios he had considered. Each one was either patently absurd, or would end in his own defeat. Except for one, but that involved him waking up in his own bed and realizing that everything beginning with his paradox calculations was an elaborate dream. It was unlikely, but there was the remote possibility that his brain could come up with such a dream, which was the only reason he hadn't filed the scenario under 'absurd'.

He looked over at the woman next to him, and briefly entertained the thought of her being involved in some collaboration with the other Artemis to capture Holly. He was sure such a collaboration would have made sense in _some_ timeline. But he dismissed the thought- there was no evidence for it, and he realized his tired brain was likely grasping at straws, desperate to find a sign, a motive, anything that would lead to Holly's safe return.

The coin in his hand bent a little at the edges.

He always knew fairies used too high a percentage of gold in their coins. Pure gold was too soft.

He tried to bend the edge back, pressing the coin first against his hand, and then against the dashboard of the car.

It didn't bend back.


	36. Battlelines

**Artemis Fowl: The Book of Ages**

Battlelines

* * *

The stare that Artemis Fowl gave to the cup of tea in his hands was nearly enough to make the liquid boil.

"The way I see it," said Minerva calmly from across the table, ignoring his look, "you don't can't mount a rescue. He hasn't even asked for anything yet. It's obvious that he wants you to contact him, and that's really your only viable option. I doubt even you could predict Fowl's every move."

As she took a sip of tea, Artemis glared at her. Of course, he knew it was irrational for him to be angry at _her_ of all people, but her seemingly minimal concern with the whole situation was making it difficult for him to not be angry.

More importantly, he was angry with himself. Both of him_selves_.

Here they were, sitting in Minerva's posh Paris apartment, still without plans to go after Holly. Well, actually, they planned to go after Holly… they just hadn't planned out _how_ yet.

"I would shoot him just as quickly as I would _negotiate_ with him," Artemis said acidly. Somewhere in the back of his mind, his own words surprised him… but he knew they were true words.

Minerva looked startled at Artemis' response, but only for a moment. Then she frowned.

"You won't do anything well if you're riled up like that, Fowl," She put her cup down and pointed a finger at the Irish teen, "whether it's planning, negotiating, or shooting. And I might add that it wouldn't be a good idea to try to murder one of the world's most brilliant inventors and businessmen."

"What I need to do," said Artemis with a scowl, "is find out exactly what he wants."

"So call him," replied the woman calmly, "e-mail him, text him for all I care. Like I said, it's your only realistic option."

**

* * *

Fowl Manor, Dublin, Ireland**

Holly Short wasn't quite sure how she woke up. There wasn't any sound that could have brought her out of sleep, nor was there any sort of movement or vibration. It might have been the lights.

She awoke to find herself blinded by bright white lights, so that she squeezed her eyes shut again almost as soon as she had opened them. The room looked all white, and there didn't seem to be anything in it besides whatever it was she was lying down on.

"Ah… it's so good to see that you're awake Holly Short."

Holly squinted and shielded her eyes with an arm, but as she did, her knuckles bumped into something on the side of her head. She pushed her elbows back and sat up slowly, her muscles feeling tired and sluggish. When she felt around her ears and head her hands cupped around a pair of large, padded headphones.

"That's your present. It's very high quality. I hope you like it."

The elf looked left and right, but realized quickly enough that nobody was in the room. The voice came from the headphones themselves, speaking in English.

"Artemis?" she asked, confused. That was definitely his voice, but it sounded… off. There was a subtle mockery in his tone, which actually wasn't all too unusual, but she was used to it sounding a bit more lighthearted. "What's going on? Where are you?" Then after a pause, "Where am _I_?"

Nobody responded for a few seconds, and Holly was about to take off the headphones, but then stopped herself when she realized that if Artemis had been talking to her through it, he'd probably still be using it.

"Turn around, Holly."

Holly jerked her head around and nearly jumped out of her skin when she saw him. He was barely a foot away from her, and there was a metal door behind him. He must have come in when she wasn't paying attention, and with the device covering her ears, she hadn't heard a thing.

Artemis was dressed now in an impeccably pressed dark suit, with a steel-grey tie that had a small cylindrical thing clipped on it.

When he spoke again, he crouched down to bring himself to her eye level.

"You are in my laboratory clean room. I, obviously, am right here, and as for what's going on… well, you tell me."

The elf stared blankly at the teen for a moment. Then she saw it.

Well, actually, it wasn't just one thing- it was a combination of things. Artemis' hair was a bit shorter, and had the look of a recent haircut. His brow had the beginnings of creases that looked to be from stress. Then there were his eyes: they were the same color- mirrored, in fact.

Her whole body suddenly shivered, and her hands felt went from dry to sweat-slicked in what seemed like less than a second. She unconsciously sucked in a breath through her teeth.

"_No_, it can't be," she whispered in English. "This is some sort of joke… right, Artemis?"

The man- for he wasn't a teen, but an adult- scowled.

"Traditionally among humans Lieutenant, first names are used among friends and imply familiarity," he snapped, "Whatever experience you may have had with a little boy who thought he could play at being a world-class genius is irrelevant to this point, and thus you will refer to me as Dr. Fowl."

Holly tensed, and her mouth opened slightly, but no words came out. Instead, her mind was rapidly going through several rather obscene words and phrases in multiple languages. This couldn't be real… could it?

"Are we quite clear?" asked Fowl, suddenly smiling and sounding friendly again.

In response, Holly moved to take off the headphones, but paused when Fowl raised a finger.

"Don't do that, elf."

She continued anyway- there wasn't anything to lose at this point. But she had barely lifted a padded headphone from one ear when she felt bile rising up from her stomach. She gagged and held both hands against her stomach. The headphones snapped back in place.

"Please don't take those off," ordered Artemis mildly, though he stood up and took a few steps back, as if he knew she felt sick.

Holly balled up her hands into tight fists and very nearly growled at the man. But she didn't try to take the headphones off again.

"There, isn't that better?" he asked, looking amused at her expression.

And it was. The sick feeling she had just moment ago was gone, and her body felt oddly relaxed.

Artemis smiled at her, and suddenly, she was reminded of just how much he resembled a vampire.

"You'll find that it's far easier to just do what I say than try to resist." He clasped his hands behind his back and observed Holly with a slight smirk. It was a look that one would give to a furry animal doing tricks. "Now, the rules are simple," explained Fowl, "You will not attempt to harm any human within the confines of the Manor; you will not attempt to leave this room; you will not attempt to use any magic- which, by the way, is mostly gone."

Holly glared at the man. It might have been slightly more intimidating if he didn't tower over her, forcing her to glare upward like an angry child.

"You have _no idea_ what's going on, do you… Fowl?" she hissed. "Or who _I _am?"

Artemis shrugged casually.

"You are Lieutenant Colonel Holly Short of the LEPrecon fireteam six. You recently escaped a human prison compound with the help of some fool who calls himself Sean Ackart and has an unhealthy obsession with imitating me. As to what you and he are doing with an escaped imp, or why you were wearing an advanced auto-armor with _Captain_ printed on it, you are correct, I do not know. But giving me that information is your job."

The elf looked at him as if he was insane- which, in her opinion, might very well have been the case.

"No," she stated flatly. Suddenly, she started feeling slightly queasy again.

Fowl shook his head with a small smile.

"You misunderstand, that is an order Lieutenant. You're in a dwelling now, and I am the master of this house."

"Go choke on a stinkworm, Mudboy," growled Holly through clenched teeth.

And with that, the elf promptly threw up. Suffice to say it was a rather unpleasant sight.

Artemis closed his eyes and wrinkled his nose as the regurgitated contents of Holly's last meal splattered on the floor. So much for his clean room. When he opened his eyes again, he took one look at his Armani loafers and sighed.

"Great," he muttered at the flecks of vomit on his shoes and pants, "that'll never come out. And this suit is going to stink for ages. I might as well change and burn the clothes right now." He eyed Holly with a frown. "You should be glad I am a rich man, or I would be _really_ annoyed."

The man spun around sharply and opened the room's single door. Holly suddenly felt the pungent smell of chlorine punch its way into her nose, and a moment later, she saw why. Artemis had produced two buckets and a Mud Man-sized mop from behind the door and pushed it towards her. It looked pretty archaic, even for human cleaning methods.

"You made the mess, and you'll clean it up," said Artemis coolly, "I hear responsibility is looked quite favorably upon in the LEP."

"And who cleans up _your_ messes?" asked Holly, her mouth still in a grimace from the taste of bile.

Fowl smiled at her as if she was a primary school student who just wasn't quite old enough to understand how the world worked.

"I don't make messes," he said, "I only create _opportunities_."

He turned and left without another sound that Holly could hear. She couldn't even hear the door closing, even though she was watching it not more than a few feet away.

And thus, an elf in an expensive pair of sound-proofed headphones was left in a cleared laboratory room with nothing but a pile of vomit and a few cleaning supplies.

* * *

Artemis Fowl shut off the microphone clipped on his tie as his bodyguard fell into step behind him. They walked in the underground corridor for a few moments in silence before Coleman spoke up.

"If I may, sir," he asked, "why did you give her headphones?"

Artemis didn't break stride.

"So she only hears what I want her to hear."

There was a pause before Coleman spoke again.

"And…?"

Fowl turned his head slightly to glance at the bodyguard from the corner of his eye. He smirked slightly. Coleman probably expected something to do with the elf's magic, or the rules in the Book. Perfect.

"And nothing," he replied. "That's all there is. Of course she- and obviously you- expected something more. That keeps her off balance."

Coleman fell silent, apparently accepting his employer's explanation.

**

* * *

Temporary LEP Headquarters, Industrial District, Haven City**

A red-faced Julius Root stabbed his metal pointing rod at a floating hologram of the city. He always insisted on using a metal pointer instead of the holographic highlighting system, saying that _real_ Commanders used pointy objects to explain things. He was, naturally, a _real_ Commander.

"Recon reports that there are at least two hundred attack drones of various models. That means we still outnumber them four to one. But we don't have the firepower to take them down directly, especially if Mud Man forces are moving in at the same time, so we're going to cut the city in two!" The old elf made a slicing motion down the hologram with his pointer. "Foaly!" he called.

The centaur trotted nervously up to the front of the room, feeling the weight of some three hundred LEP officers and an old TV camera staring at his swishing tail. The camera made sure that even as he addressed the officers present, everybody else who was still out in some other location in the city would still see and hear him.

The last time he had spoken in front of so many people was during an awards ceremony for his invention of the flare prediction system. That had been a boon for the People, but this time, the mood was decidedly more sober.

He cleared his throat and scratched self-consciously at his head through the tin-foil hat with one hand as his other keyed away at the holo-projector.

"We've been analyzing the activity of the robotic fleet, and my models predict that most of the scout craft have already been launched even before we found their main staging area. The main things we have to worry about are their squads of Reaper drones. They pack what the humans call 'Hellfire' missiles, and from the demonstration videos I've seen, getting hit by one of those is like riding a flare," Foaly smiled without humor, "without your pod."

The entire Recon section winced almost simultaneously. They rode hotshots up to the surface the most out of anybody in Haven, and almost all casualties of errant flares came from their ranks.

"There're also the lateral-launch mortars, autonomous weapons platforms and area denial turrets to contend with once the army itself moves in. Oh, and of course, there are the soldiers themselves," Foaly added almost as an afterthought.

"I think we get the point, Pony-boy," growled a Major a couple rows back. Foaly frowned heavily. How was it that he didn't even know who the gnome was, and yet _he_ knew Julius' stupid name for him?

"Get to the defense plan already!" the gnome called out.

Foaly glanced at the Commander, who gave a (still red-faced) nod.

The centaur coughed and ran the simulation on the projector.

"Some of my tech guys have been down at the power plant laying down some new wiring ever since the Mud Men managed to take over the other two plants. With the additions, I've been able to modify the last few generators. We'll cut off the power supply lines, then feed them back into the generators. With the magma that powers it still running, the safeties will be overloaded within minutes. Think electromagnetic and thermite bombs fused into one big explosion."

On the hologram, a set of blast doors began closing down, dividing the city into two very unequal halves. Several of the small triangles which were supposed to represent the swarm of scout planes bumped into the blast doors and fizzled before exploding like some shot-up enemy on an old video game. A small red cylinder in the larger half of the city began pulsing dangerously, and in seconds, it fizzled out, bringing most of the other shapes down with it.

If anybody asked about the quality of the simulation, Foaly would have told them that he had about ten minutes to make it before the meeting started. Even genius centaurs need some time to make cinema-level graphics.

Up in the front of the room, Chix Verbil raised a hand.

"Uh, it might just be me, but what about the fact that the blast doors won't open again until you've replaced the fried circuitry? And I think most of the Mud Men's guns aren't exactly electronic."

"You're right, Verbil," answered Root with a grimace, "At this point, the best we can do is fight them to a stalemate and hold our ground. This is _our _territory and we have an advantage underground, but they have bigger guns and more soldiers." The old Commander gave everyone a hard look. "So if anybody has any bright ideas, you'd better speak up now!"

The room remained silent. Everybody, it seemed, was coming to the conclusion that hiding behind blast doors really _was_ their only option.

"What if we need to evacuate?" asked Grub Kelp through one of the room's speakers. He was still out in the field and watching the meeting through a screen, but everyone in the room still heard the tremor in his voice.

"Then we evacuate," answered the Commander evenly.

* * *

In the back of the warehouse, Lieutenant Colonel Holly Short watched Commander Root explain the plan with an increasingly uneasy stomach. It sounded like a death trap to her: jammed blast doors on one side, solid bedrock on the other, _and_ they would lose their primary source of electricity.

She heard Grub asking about an evacuation and cringed inwardly.

"Then we evacuate," Julius said calmly.

'_Liar,'_ thought Holly, furrowing her brow and pressing her lips together in disgust. She looked around her at the crowd of police officers. _'We couldn't possibly evacuate in time- there aren't enough vehicles. And even if we could, where would we go?'_

But the elf stayed silent. She knew it was useless to voice her thoughts right now.

**

* * *

Minerva Paradizo's Apartment, Quartier des Invalides, Paris**

Artemis Fowl emerged from Minerva's small study a little more than two hours after he had gone in. At this point, he looked less like a vampire than he did a zombie, and he wasn't exactly the most beautiful person in the world to begin with.

"I'm going to have to make a deal," he announced grimly, sliding into the chair across from Minerva's.

The woman looked up at him over the laptop screen she had been reading from, and quickly pushed the computer to the side. She frowned.

"Come now, your house cannot be _that_ impenetrable. Surely it's not as bad as Strangeroads?"

Artemis shook his head. "The last time anybody tried to break Ho-" he cut himself off, "-an elf out of Fowl Manor, it took a time stop and most of the LEP's resources- Retrieval One, the threat of a bio bomb, even a troll, for crying out loud!" The teen suddenly lowered his voice. "And in the end, she only got out because I _let_ her."

He looked up to see Minerva staring at him. After a few seconds, she spoke, slowly.

"If I ever had the time, I would take one of Foaly's brain scanners and crack your head open just to see what the _hell_ you've actually done…" she muttered.

She coughed.

"In any case, it's fairly obvious that you have a leak- an information source that's somehow connecting your activities to the other Fowl's. Have you considered anybody?"

"Yes," answered Artemis, looking directly at the woman, "_you_."

"Moi!?" Minerva looked taken aback. "Mais pourquoi?"

"I have my own reasons," Fowl shook his head. "But I also have reason enough to not believe that hypothesis."

"Well isn't it _wonderful_ to be so trusted," mumbled the woman, "If I may remind you, I'm the one sticking her neck out to help you and your little band of time travelers."

Artemis smiled mirthlessly. "Indeed you are." But then he quickly got back on track. "I'll need to let Trouble and Nº1 know about this. Then we'll contact the Manor."

"WHAT!?" yelled the image of Trouble Kelp, the C Cube reproducing his furious features rather nicely on its holographic projection. "Are you _sure _you're on our side, Fowl?"

"Yes, I'm damn sure I'm on your side Commander," replied Artemis crossly, "but in case you haven't noticed, there happens to be a me on the _other_ side as well, so we don't exactly have time to argue about the specifics of my morality."

"We're coming up there Artemis," said Nº1 quickly, but quite a bit more angrily than the teen had ever seen him. "I'll blast my way through your house if I have to, and if you don't mind, I'd like to turn the other Artemis into a ferret."

"By all means, turn him into anything you want," said Artemis dryly, "but don't leave Haven until I call you again. I'm going to find out exactly what he wants, and we'll work from there. You might need to grab some things from Haven."

Trouble nodded curtly. He knew the dangers of going to Fowl Manor unprepared better than anyone. "Do it," he ordered, "we'll stand by."

The projection faded, and Artemis sighed heavily as he slumped back into his chair.

Minerva handed him her cell phone.

"Ready for even more fun?" she asked sarcastically.

The teen looked at her phone.

"We should use a disposable," he said, frowning, "or he'll trace this back to you."

Minerva rolled her eyes. "Just make the call. It's not like he won't find out anyway."

Artemis hesitated for just a second. Then he punched in the number and pressed the phone icon.

**

* * *

Fowl Manor, Dublin, Ireland**

Though he wasn't looking at anyone in particular, Artemis Fowl was smiling his best vampire smile in a long time.

The phone was ringing, but there were only two people who had this number- both of whom were no more than three rooms away. That meant it had to be…

"Hello, Copycat. Or should I call you Sean?" he greeted jovially, "How's the weather in Paris?"

The caller sighed, then began without preamble. "Look, Arty, both of us are skilled enough at playing mind games so that this call could go on for years. Let's avoid that, shall we? What do I do to get the elf back?"

Artemis scowled. The _boy_ called him by his mother's old childish name for him, and he was even imitating his voice. Stalkers. This was precisely why he didn't reply to idiotic fan mail disguised as academic research papers mailed to him for 'review.'

"Let's meet up and discuss this little island you call Mu. I'll even bring Holly with me."

The phone was silent for a moment.

"Fine," said the caller finally, seeming more than a little surprised- probably at the directness. "Where do we meet?"

Artemis smiled even wider. "Why, on the island itself, of course. Noon local time, three days from now."

"What guarantee do I have that you'll bring Holly?"

He didn't even ask about how Artemis knew about Mu.

"Oh, we'll stop at a few major cities and have her write you a post card," mocked the man. Then he laughed. "Of course you don't have any guarantees. But I don't have any problems with letting her go, provided that you meet with me and give me the information I want. Remember what Father said about gambling, _Artemis_? Never play unless you already hold the highest cards. In this case, I've done that, _and_ the dealer owes me a favor."

The imitator ignored the jab.

"Let me speak to Holly."

"I don't think that will be possible," replied Artemis casually, looking at the security feed from his lab, "She's a bit preoccupied at the moment."

The elf was really just sitting there brooding, but this _Sean_ didn't need to know that.

"Pass the phone to Minerva, won't you?" asked Artemis politely. "I know she's nearby."

There was a long pause, followed by an uncertain voice.

"Dr. Fowl?"

Artemis vaguely remembered the voice- he'd only ever spoken to Minerva once before, after all.

"Please, Minerva, don't _Dr. Fowl_ me," he said, as if they were old friends. "I seem to recall promising to have tea with you several years ago. My work trapped me at the time though. If you'd like, how does next Thursday sound?"

The phone clicked as the call ended. Artemis set the mobile down and chuckled. This was going to be fun.

**

* * *

Minerva Paradizo's Apartment, La Rive Gauche, Paris**

"The _nerve_ of the man!" yelled Minerva, more than a little displeased. "He's such a… what's the word in English?"

"Arrogant bastard?" supplied Artemis helpfully.

"Yes, there you go," agreed the woman, "Of the ten thousand ways to let us know that he's onto my involvement, he has to _ask me out for tea_!"

She looked at Artemis. "He really does think that the world revolved revolves around his will, doesn't he?"

The teen nodded glumly. "Yes, unfortunately."

"Well I'll tell you one thing," said Minerva, suddenly not quite so angry, "he chose the wrong battlefield. I daresay I know Mu better than either of you ever will."

Artemis eyebrows leapt up in surprise.

"You do?"

"Let's just say I had a temporary infatuation with demonology when I was younger." Artemis noticed that the woman was rather conspicuously avoiding his gaze, as if nervous. "You told me about the island a few days ago." She nodded at the laptop on the table. "Now that I have access to my old research again, did you honestly think that I was sitting here twiddling my thumbs while you were off thinking for hours?"

The Irish teen stared at her suspiciously.

"What exactly do you know?"


	37. The Glass Shard

**A/N:** High school and college beat up my muse and left her in a coma for the past two months. Sorry about that. This chapter is meant to tie a lot of things back together.

* * *

**Artemis Fowl: The Book of Ages**

The Glass Shard

* * *

**Minerva Paradizo's Apartment, Quartier des Invalides, Paris**

Minerva looked up from her laptop and saw Artemis' mismatched eyes fixed on her face. Both seemed to be calculating- judging each of her movements with cold, precise logic. He was suspicious of her, and giving her the same look Holly nearly always did.

'_He has every right to be suspicious!'_ she thought to herself.

"I…" she began, when a shiver suddenly ran down her body. But Artemis didn't look away, and after taking a breath, Minerva pressed on.

"I don't know how much you know about demons," she said. _'Or about me,'_ she added in her mind. "But back when I was younger, and Hybras was still in Limbo… I tried to _catch_ a demon." The woman gave a weak laugh. "I failed miserably."

"What happened?" asked Artemis, his voice tense.

'_He isn't even surprised…' _thought the blonde, biting her lip slightly,_ 'Mon Dieu, what does he know?'_ Then another thought: _'What did I _do_ in his world?'_

Minerva looked at the teen from the corner of her eye, then quickly looked away.

"I couldn't catch a demon as it was phasing in and out of this world, so I gave up for a while. But then I found a way to _force_ a demon to stay in phase with this world." Her voice suddenly dropped down to a near-whisper. "Accidents happened."

She saw Artemis wrinkle his brow from the corner of her eye and breathed a heavy breath.

"Please…" she said, her voice surprisingly sincere, and almost desperate, "I don't… expect you to understand. Just… listen… I'll start from the beginning."

* * *

_Ten Years Ago_

Eleven year-old Minerva Paradizo looked at the headline in disgust. It took her a little less than ten seconds to read through the article associated with it, and when she finished, her expression flashed to a dark scowl.

Some American research team had won the Nobel Prize in Physics for teleporting a few grains of sand across a room.

'_Sand!'_

Minerva gritted her teeth. If she had her way, she'd have captured a being that teleported across from _another dimension_. But no, she'd missed her chance, and according to her calculations, the next wave of demon appearances wouldn't be for another five decades. She would be an old woman by then, and nobody would recognize her true genius.

"Entanglement!" She spat the word out as if it were some explicative. She could see Billy Kong watching her pace from the corner of the room, carefully guarding his expression. "Any idiot with the right lab can make a quantum copy."

"_Child's play_ compared to dimensional transport!" she muttered.

But over the next two days, Minerva read the set of studies that had contributed to the teleportation experiment. Ten years of work by eight universities, and nearly all of most important information absorbed by the young girl in those two days.

She didn't like it, but even Minerva gave grudging respect where it was due.

* * *

Billy Kong eyed the young blonde girl warily as she threw herself back into research.

He knew she was smart, but in his world, certificates, degrees, honors and medals didn't matter where things counted. All the recognition in the world wasn't worth one ounce of street-sense and in his opinion, the young Paradizo wouldn't survive a week out in the streets without her father and her money.

But he stayed. He had to- and it was fairy good pay considering what he did. For the money, the Paradizos were worth his time.

For the next few weeks, Kong stalked the premises of the Paradizo Chateau with his usual professional, but bored manner, and kept half an eye out for Minerva and her little brother, exactly like he was paid to (well, maybe not the being bored part).

He knew something was happening though. Minerva had been working unusually hard lately, barely coming out for meals, and seemingly too busy to even be irritable. That part was the oddest. She didn't even say anything when her brother Beau ran outside her room with a milk mustache plastered on his upper lip, yelling about dropping a chocolate truffle into his glass of milk.

Kong was the first person Beau found, and the Taiwanese man found himself rolling his eyes as he stretched his patience explaining to the boy that he could drink the glass of milk to make the chocolate magically reappear.

All of this happened right outside Minerva's bedroom, and she didn't say a single word. She probably didn't even notice.

* * *

About a month later, Minerva began wearing jewelry.

The girl had never really been interested in such things before, always more or less dismissing them as just necessities of being upper-class. She never wore jewelry around the house before, that much, Kong was sure of.

But the bodyguard noticed that Minerva seemed to only care about bracelets.

It was always four thin, silver bracelets- two on each wrist- and no other accessories or makeup. Billy Kong was no fashion expert, but even he thought that was a tad odd. He shrugged it off though. Minerva _was_, after all, a preteen girl. It must have been one of those stages (even geniuses must have had them).

Two years later, Minerva became a teenager. And the odd events became magic.

_

* * *

Eight Years Ago_

It was early on a Saturday morning when everything changed.

"Mr. Kong, get in here!" yelled an excited voice from the bodyguard's cell phone.

The man sighed. "Coming, mademoiselle."

Billy Kong trudged out to the Paradizo grounds with his hands in his pockets and a scowl on his face. The girl was playing mad scientist again, and he couldn't do anything but go along with it.

A large white tent about the size of decent workroom had been set up on the grounds where Minerva had stored an inordinate amount of electronic equipment and silver coils. She told her father that she was working on a new type of radio transmission system.

The bodyguard took one look at the tent and snorted. If Minerva was working on a radio, then Billy Kong was a lovable Irish schoolteacher.

But it wasn't some strange contraption that Minerva showed Kong as he lifted the tent's flap and entered. It was the television.

"I hadn't realized they were still this organized," she was saying over the voice of a reporter on a live news channel.

Billy Kong stared at the screen as images of what looked like an oddly proportioned child took a podium in some kind of hall. The child wore simple white robes with gold trim, and folded her hands neatly in front of her. But the expression she wore chilled even Kong. Her face had no wrinkles, but the way she looked at the camera made it seem like she was some sort of stern, ancient woman who had seen far, far too much. And all of that wrapped in a tiny little body.

"My name is Councilor Vinyáya," she paused and almost cracked a smile, "I come in peace."

"What movie is this?" asked Kong in a bored tone as the Vinyáya person began talking about fairies and elves and something about the Earth's crust.

Minerva smiled.

"Not a movie, Mr. Kong. The People have finally decided to reveal themselves." She picked up the remote control and flicked through several channels, all of which were either showing the same video or had pundits talking about _magic_ of all things. More than one channel flashed an image of an Irish leprechaun in a green suit and top hat onto the screen.

Billy Kong learned about leprechauns for the first time that day. He also learned about LEP Recon for the first time that day.

Suffice to say that by that evening Kong's mind was slightly… blown.

* * *

Minerva Paradizo knew about fairies. That fact could hardly be surprising- one did not go about trying to find the missing Eighth Family without finding out about the other seven.

She decided though, that by the time she found out about the People, it wasn't worth the effort of trying to gain something purely from that. Judging from her initial reading of reports, fairies were being seen aboveground almost consistently now, and they would soon reveal themselves anyhow. A demon was a different story.

"You seemed upset the last time I stopped working on the demon calculations," she said the next day, giving her bodyguard a sideways glance as she led them through the grounds.

The man grunted, and Minerva saw a flash of metal in his left palm- a short knife, half hidden in his dark sleeve. Kong was on edge today. He had been like this ever since a few hours after hearing about the fairies' appearance aboveground. For the first few hours, he just didn't believe it.

The girl nodded at Kong's hand.

"Can you get that silver-plated?" she asked.

The bodyguard furrowed his brow for a moment.

"Silver?" he asked, "What, some kind of fairy ward? That why you're wearing all those bracelets?"

Minerva smirked and shook her head slightly.

"A ward, no. But something very powerful in another way."

They reached the covered workspace and Minerva lifted a heavy tent flap to enter. The inside was lit up by harsh halogen lights. Several monitors still lined one end of the room, but this time, she wasn't interested in those. She headed for a large, thin, silvery film that hung like a painting near one side of the tent.

"You see, Kong, only seven fairy Families showed themselves yesterday," said Minerva as she walked carefully around the area right in front of the film.

The section of floor that she avoided looked like it was a square steel plate. Minerva chuckled mentally. If only it were that easy.

"It turns out, in fact, that the demons I had been looking for years ago were the last Family- the hidden Family of fairies. They're so old, I think even the People themselves have relegated them to myth."

"We know they are not," stated Kong flatly. Minerva noted his tone. They had been over this many times, but now _demon_ should take on a new meaning. The world was now known to have _fairies_. Fairy with _guns_, for heaven's sake!

It would be easy to use Kong now. He had told her during the last time they tried to catch a demon that he had a vendetta against them for killing his brother. The girl nearly smirked. Oh, Kong wasn't the brightest person in the world, but he was useful.

"We were at demon appearances twice," continued Minerva, "and _both_ times we couldn't catch one." She shot him a hard look before reaching a hand behind the film. "This time, I made one come to _us_."

She flicked a switch, lighting up the film from behind and shutting the tent's main lights off at the same time. She heard Billy Kong suck in gasp of air.

The film now appeared dark, with tiny white specks scattered across its surface like a hastily-done spray painting job. Nearly dead center though, a bright concentration of specks appeared in what was clearly a shape of some sort. It was a figure, a bit more than a head shorter than Minerva herself.

A squat head was capped with what looked almost like short horns, and a thick torso branched out into almost disproportionately muscular-looking arms and legs. Though it was barely a shadow of a figure, and no expression could be seen on its face, it still managed to look angry. A tail snaked off to one side, curling up at the end as if in annoyance. What fingers could be made out were curled, and two pointed ears stuck out stiffly like daggers.

"_Yaoguai_…" whispered Kong.

"These demons appear randomly," he turned sharply to Minerva, "How did you summon… this?"

"This is an afterimage," explained the girl, gesturing towards the film, "A demon did in fact appear in this room, but disappeared far too quickly for any camera to catch it. The image is from a characteristic gamma ray burst that comes from dimensional transport that forms on this particular type of film." She tapped her foot against metal plate on the ground. "Silver, Mr. Kong, is a dimensional anchor. I managed to hold the demon here just long enough for the radiation to affect the film."

"_You_ can control their appearances now?" asked Kong, not bothering to hide his disbelief.

Minerva's smile would have made a James Bond villain proud.

"Almost, Mr. Kong… almost."

"Whatever you're doing," said the bodyguard quickly, "can you expand it? Make it more effective?"

The girl was almost surprised at his enthusiasm.

"That's the plan."

_

* * *

Seven Years Ago_

'The plan' turned out to be a bit more convoluted than Billy Kong would have expected.

It was no less than a year after the official appearance of the People that Kong was practically glowing with a sheen of sweat, leaning on a shovel in the pounding midday sun of the Gobi Desert.

Wrinkling his nose, the man whipped off his soaked white shirt and dabbed at his forehead as a fourteen year-old girl thrust a tall metal staff into the hole he just dug.

"That's the last of them," announced Minerva, proudly. "Good job, Mr. Kong."

Kong nodded without responding. He'd much prefer a bottle of cold water than a compliment right now. His canteen always ran empty far too quickly out here.

As if reading his mind, Minerva unclipped a long metal container from behind her belt and tossed it over to him. The cold from the container shocked Kong's hands for an instant, but he unscrewed the cap and drank greedily, finishing the water in seconds. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and smiled at the girl gratefully.

Minerva simply nodded.

"Let's head back. We'll fire up the transmitters immediately."

The 'transmitters,' as Kong had learned over the course of the past year, were actually 'matter-wave function modifiers'. The fact that he bothered to learn this, and the fact that he understood how they worked (if only in the absolute vaguest sense) showed just how much time he had spent with Minerva while she planned to find the last fairy Family.

From what Kong knew, the French prodigy had taken the idea that the teleportation scientists had used- the very same ones she had been so annoyed to see win the Nobel prize years ago- to make a quantum 'copy' of a particular atom or molecule and destroyed the original. It wasn't teleportation in the traditional science fiction sense, but the important thing was that it worked- for very, very small objects at least.

Building on that work, Minerva had found a way to match the quantum resonance of silver with the patterns of other dimensions using electrical charges that realigned atomic spins. Silver was already known to fix wayward matter to a single dimension, and now, the rods attracted whatever materials they were tuned to.

Minerva Paradizo had created a Hybras magnet.

If the island wasn't set to land for another five decades, she would pull it to her _now_.

* * *

Their camp was pitched two miles away on a dark-red ridge alongside several other tents.

Minerva had actually come to this part of the Gobi on the pretense of joining an archeological dig with a group from the University of Hong Kong. This desert was a treasure trove for paleontologists, holding the world's most diverse fossil specimens found to date, so clearly, if Minerva even mentioned that she wanted to go fossil-hunting, then it took little persuasion for her father to pull a few strings to let her come here. With a guardian, of course.

She knew that if her plan succeeded, quite a few of the area's precious fossils would be destroyed. But sometimes, science demanded sacrifice, and pulling a demon island from another dimension would certainly be worth crushing a few bones.

Minerva nodded at the Chinese professor who led this particular expedition, who just rounded the other side of the ridge with a heavy pick resting against his shoulder. He gave her a polite nod back, but it wasn't hard to tell that he wasn't exactly comfortable with the idea of escorting a fourteen-year-old girl to and from the Gobi desert, especially one who kept on disappearing off with only her bodyguard rather than staying with the group.

The girl dusted off a low rock and sat gingerly on its hot surface before pulling out a pair of binoculars. She knew she looked more than a little ridiculous at the moment. Light brown pants and shirt with as many pockets as the manufacturer could fit onto their surfaces, a wide-brimmed hat and a pair of large mirrored sunglasses- she could imagine that she probably looked like a walking ad for one of those pathetic children's dinosaur shows.

Minerva Paradizo most certainly did _not_ learn science from a children's show.

She stared intent back at direction they had just come from, adjusting the focus with a finger while sweeping back and forth slowly.

_There_.

She found the set of concentric silver poles half-buried in the desert- over sixty poles in all. It took them most of yesterday and that entire day to position them properly. When she set the silver atoms into the right spins, the whole area would become a dimensional attraction field, pulling all of Hybras back to Earth, fifty years ahead of schedule.

It would be quite a show. And Minerva for one, didn't care who saw it first- she had all the proof lined up that _she_ was the one who brought the demons in from Limbo.

She made a mental note of the spot and set down her binoculars. She gave her bodyguard a slight nod, and they returned to the relative shade of one of the tarp overhangs the paleontology team had set up.

A voice suddenly spoke up behind her.

"Beware, child, for you may succeed."

Minerva snapped her head backward, and narrowed her eyes. But there was nobody there.

It was a harsh, gravelly voice that spoke in precise, carefully articulated French. Of the entire group there, only she and Kong spoke the language though- and it was certainly not Kong.

"Did you say something?" asked the bodyguard, turning to her and giving her a questioning look.

Minerva shook her head without speaking. That was strange. She shrugged and ignored it.

Kong scowled and squatted next to his trunk to pull out an already-assembled and silenced handgun.

In other circumstances, Minerva might have laughed and made a werewolf joke: the gun was loaded with rubber bullets tipped with silver. But the bullets had been her idea.

The hot desert wind blew into the overhang, but it sounded like somebody was sighing.

"Let's get started," said the girl.

Now it was Kong who looked through binoculars, as Minerva fired up a dusty Toughbook laptop and pulled up a program she had written herself. The screen looked almost like an old analog radio tuner, as a thin red line began slowly pushing its way though a spectrum of numbers.

The line moved sluggishly, almost standing still except when observed closely- completely unsuited to Minerva's excited state. But she couldn't risk going too quickly.

The laptop now sent signals to the transmitters connected to each rod, gradually putting the silver atoms through a whole host of spin configurations, until- at least in theory- they matched up to the state that Hybras was in, and snatched the island out of Limbo.

Minerva glanced quickly between the desert landscape and the screen as she felt sweat dripping slowly down the nape of her neck. Only seven seconds had gone by.

"Stop, child!"

Minerva nearly jumped out of her skin as a small, grey-clad figure appeared not a foot away from her legs. Suddenly, she felt even more sweat-drenched than before.

"Do not break the fragile peace!"

The girl suddenly blinked and cringed as two loud coughs issued from her right.

Two bullets buried themselves in the work table's leg with muffled clangs. The creature was gone.

She heard Billy Kong swearing in Taiwanese.

"That was a _yaoguai_! I almost had it!" he raged, his voice scratchy from dryness.

"You idiot!" Minerva shot back angrily, "Holster your damn weapon, you almost shot me!"

"I do _not _miss, mademoiselle…" said Kong through gritted teeth, his hands still harshly gripping the handgun.

"That was an imp," said the girl, her fists clenched and her voice quavering between resentment and excitement, "I told you they would appear first. They're harmless, no magic and no strength. Save your bullets for the _real_ demons."

Kong scowled, and looked back at the desert. He still held the gun tightly in one hand.

Minerva's mind raced. It was _working_! The imp had appeared oddly far away from the rods, but no matter. Hybras would not miss the silver target.

She paid the imp's words no attention.

Her foot tapped impatiently as she fingered the silver bracelets on her wrists, all of them coated with her own perspiration. She brought the binoculars back to her eyes. For minutes, the scene remained unchanged, and her eyes were starting to ache from the reflected sunlight, even through the sunglasses.

She was almost ready to give her eyes a break when things started to appear. Not demons though.

They were yellow piles, barely perceptible in the desert sands. It was only when they became big enough to party obscure the bottom of the poles that Minerva was sure there was really something there.

"Those look like… boxes, Minerva," said Kong, the awe obvious in his voice, "Filled with… gold… jewels…"

Minerva thought for a moment, and then laughed harshly.

"Ha! What better place to hide your treasures than in another dimension! We must be sweeping the old warlocks' hidden troves clean- even pocket dimensions won't save their gold."

She turned to the Toughbook.

"We can stop this experiment right now and become absurdly rich!" she laughed again, "Starting again won't cost anything."

But as she reached to stop the transmitters, a large hand swatted her entire arm away.

Minerva looked up and glared at Billy Kong.

"What do you think you're doing!?"

"No," said Kong, oddly calm, "we continue. The demon colony is more important than any gold."

The girl seethed, but knew that right now, objecting was useless. She'd have Kong fired and ruined for this later.

It wasn't a minute later when somebody gave a loud shout outside.

"_Gaosou! Hai goubeen ah! Tai ha!"_

Minerva heard several voices conversing loudly nearby in Cantonese now. It didn't take an intimate knowledge of the language for her to figure out that somebody had seen the odd scene in the faraway dune.

She stepped out from under the overhang.

"I would _not _recommend going out there," she said firmly, in English.

The professor and several of the students looked at her strangely.

"Miss Paradizo," stammered the professor in Oxford-tinted English, "that- that looks like gold! And silver! In the sand dune!"

The others muttered in agreement.

"I _know_ what it looks like," replied Minerva crossly, "But if you go out there right now," she nodded towards the general direction of the open desert, "You will _not_ survive."

The man stared at her in bewilderment, even as two student completely ignored them, dropping their tools and heading for their Jeep. They didn't believe her. And why would they? She was just a teenager after all. They were the experienced ones.

Minerva heard Billy Kong coming up behind her, and thought he was going to talk some sense into the idiots. Instead, he bent down, whispering rapidly into her ear.

"Let them go," he said lowly, "only the fools would be killed if an island lands on them. We will _not_ stop."

"But-"

The girl's objection was cut off as Kong grabbed her wrist and pulled her roughly back under the tarp. Soon, the two were the only ones remaining at the camp.

And the piles of gold continued to grow.

Kong opened his trunk and assembled another weapon, this one, a dart rifle. He was busy putting on the scope when a loud cracking sound ripped through the camp.

The gray-robed creature reappeared near the edge of the ridge, a deep hood covering its head and face. It pulled the hood back to reveal an old, wrinkled gray face beneath pointed ears and worn, blunted horns.

Minerva looked at the creature in front of her with fury, and it looked back with the passive glance of an old sage.

"What are you waiting for, Kong!?" challenged the teenaged girl, "Shoot it!"

Exactly why she was so angry at the imp, she couldn't tell. But she knew in her mind that it had to be anchored with silver before it disappeared again.

The creature muttered something under its breath and Minerva heard the thumping of a body against the ground right behind her. Sparing a single look back, the girl froze when she saw the unconscious form of Billy Kong lying on the hot desert sand. The Taiwanese bodyguard still had one hand gripping a long dart rifle, but his mirrored sunglasses lay at least ten feet away, half-buried in the sand.

Minerva's own hand jerked up against her own sunglasses, hastily holding them against her face.

"Don't go forward with this Minerva," warned the intruder in a voice that sounded like a rock being ground against a cheese grater, "You will only regret it."

The girl smirked and spun around.

"Try and stop me!" she challenged, grabbing the gun from Kong's hand and firing two shots in a flash. Sand exploded from the ground in front of her, but a second later, it cleared.

And there was nothing there but sand.

* * *

With her bodyguard out of commission, Minerva was just about the pause the transmitters. No need for gold to go to waste.

Her hand was not inches away from the keyboard with her shoulder exploded in pain and her entire body was knocked into the hot sand.

"I _said_, we are _not_ stopping," grunted Kong as he slowly got back up. "Especially not _now_."

He waved the handgun at her. "Be glad I used the rubber bullets and not," he snarled as he gestured at the rifle on the ground.

Minerva's mind froze for a moment. This was not supposed to happen! _She _was supposed to be in control.

"Daddy _will _have you punished for this," growled the girl, realizing just how pathetic she sounded the moment the words left her mouth.

Kong laughed. "That pompous idiot can go to hell. I have demons to fight."

_

* * *

Present Time_

"Pieces of Hybras appeared in the sky," whispered Minerva Paradizo.

Artemis stared at her in shock and disgust. The woman wrapped her arms around herself, even as she shuddered slightly.

The Irish teen suddenly took notice of her tan, something he hadn't paid attention to before.

'_Must have been all that time spent in the desert,'_ he thought harshly.

"I miscalculated the attraction of the moon and the demons' lunar affinity," continued the professor. "Mr. Kong wouldn't leave when the island began falling out of the sky… I barely escaped in the last Jeep and called for help. Nobody knew that I was behind the Hybras landing."

She gave Artemis a tired look.

"I noticed you wear a fairy coin around your neck…" she said listlessly.

The Irish teen nodded without saying anything.

Minerva pulled a thin silver chain from under her shirt. It had been long enough so that it was always covered by her clothes, and the bauble that hung at one end was always hidden between her breasts.

"This is my reminder." She grimaced as she held up what looked like an ornamental crystal shard.

Artemis leaned in to look closely at the object. It was roughly cut glass, with barely visible veins of gold and black running through the interior. The shard was terribly beautiful, but somehow deeply disturbing.

It didn't take long for Artemis to realize why.

"Sand… becomes glass…" he said slowly, the words tasting bitter as he said them.

Minerva nodded a fraction of an inch and closed her eyes tightly, hiding the chain under her shirt again.

"Glass is molten silica." She turned her face away from him without opening her eyes. "Gold… was the demons' wealth… and black…"

She didn't finish the sentence.

After a moment, Artemis finished it for her.

"All life-forms are carbon-based."

* * *

**A/N:** She ain't no goody-two-shoes.


	38. Homecoming

**Artemis Fowl: The Book of Ages**

Homecoming

* * *

Holly Short felt the cool, slippery material of a shirt collar against her cheek as she leaned her head on Trouble's shoulder. She bent her head and inhaled deeply, suddenly shivering as she did. The lingering scent of sweat, recycled air, and dust from the elf's uniform didn't exactly smell good, but it was familiar. Holly knew that when she was this close to this smell, she was safe.

"You aren't going to leave again, are you?" she asked quietly, looking up and studying Trouble's face as he stared off somewhere past her shoulder.

He didn't say anything, but then he bent down a little, catching her lips with his.

Holly gasped, but pressed deeply into the kiss not a moment later, pushing against his head with her other hand. She would take that as an enthusiastic 'no'. Though her eyes felt moist, for the first time in what felt like an eternity, Holly Short was completely happy.

She opened her eyes, and Trouble was gone.

The elf stood frozen for a heartbeat before whipping her head around, looking to see where he could have gone so quickly. She found him off in front of her, a few feet away with his back turned towards her. His helmet was tucked under one arm and he was walking away.

"Wait!" she called out, "Where are you going!"

She started to run after Trouble, but felt a giant hand pull her shoulder back before she made it two steps forward. Holly sensed somebody crouch down behind her and felt an icy voice whisper in her ear. She saw ivory-colored skin and blood-red lips lean in next to her from the corner of her eye.

"Trouble Kelp is going home," came the cold voice of Artemis Fowl, "But you knew that already. Don't fool yourself."

Holly blinked and Trouble's image disappeared, replaced by two figures even further off into the distance- one tall, one short. Artemis Fowl, and herself. But she was over here! And so was Fowl! She distinctly heard her own laughter, and watched herself punch a lanky Mud Boy in the elbow before being promptly picked up by the waist and shrieking in surprise.

The elf stood unmoving, halfway between confusion and horror. It was like seeing a bull troll playing with a kitten. And the kitten _liked_ it.

"Well, will you look at that!" came Fowl's voice again from behind her, his tone drenched in dark amusement.

Holly gulped, but couldn't find a proper response.

Fowl's grip on her shoulder briefly grew tighter as he chuckled.

"You know what they say about selling your soul…" he muttered before letting go and patting her shoulder almost affectionately.

"NO!" yelled the elf, a Softnose suddenly appearing in her hands. She swatted off the human palm on her shoulder, and pointed vaguely at the two figures in the distance.

She aimed, pulled the trigger.

And woke up in a cold sweat.

Lieutenant Colonel Holly Short's eyes shot open as she quickly registered the faint humming coming from the walls of the small room. She shouldn't have fallen asleep, not here, not now. But truth be told, recent days had left her feeling more drained than a toddler who had missed both naptime and bedtime.

"No…" she whispered, pulling her hands back and wrapping them tightly against her legs, resting her chin on her knees. She sneered. "I am _not_ a blood traitor."

A little voice that sounded oddly like Julius Root nagged at her mind, but she ignored it.

'_I've given _everything_ to the People,'_ she thought, blinking the tiredness from her eyes, _'can't I be selfish… just this once?'_

**

* * *

Fowl Manor, Dublin, Ireland**

Holly Short closed her eyes as she lay flat on the low cot and tried to remember what she did to pass the time the last time she was captured by Artemis Fowl.

She remembered banging the cot against the hard concrete floor, digging an acorn out of her boot and using it to regain her magic. That wouldn't help here- this was an entirely different scenario, even if the place was the same.

Then she remembered her very first conversation with Artemis. She shivered. The pale youth she met years ago really _was_ like a smaller version of the man who now ran the Manor. She wouldn't ask for dolphin meat this time. Oh, Fowl would get the joke, but then he'd probably actually put a plate of dolphin in front of her- if only to seriously disturb her, and to show that he _could_.

Holly groaned softly.

She needed to clear her mind. Maybe Butler could do it by meditating, but Holly never could sit still for that long- she was an exercising type. Jogging wasn't exactly an option here, unless she wanted to get very dizzy by running in tiny circles. She sighed and gently rolled herself off the cot without getting up.

Catching herself on the floor with her palms and toes, Holly squared her shoulders and let out a breath. She bent her elbows to right angles until her nose touched the floor. It smelled faintly like vomit doused in chlorine, causing face to scrunch in disgust. But at least it would keep her alert.

She pushed up. Then dropped down again. One.

No girl push-ups for this 'crazy girlie captain'.

Keeping a steady, slow rhythm, Holly suddenly had the mental image of Artemis trying to do the same, and she smiled despite herself. Her Artemis would probably fall after the second one.

'_Wait,'_ she thought, pausing with her elbows still bent, _'_my _Artemis?'_

She blinked, wondering where the word had come from. A second later, she rationalized.

'_Well of course, _my_ Artemis,' _she thought to herself,_ 'how else would I distinguish the good one from the monster upstairs?'_

Holly almost managed to convince herself that that was the only reason. She kept counting.

She was somewhere in the thirties when her shirt gently pulsed gold. Or at least she thought it did. Not a second later, it pulsed again.

The elf stopped and shoved herself up into a crouch before sitting down carefully on the edge of the cot. She was still staring down her shirt, where the light had come from.

It was the Book, that much, she was sure of.

She glanced up at the camera lodged in the upper corner of the room. It wouldn't have captured the golden light, since her whole body had covered it. Deciding to give it a few more minutes before she pulled out her Book to avoid rousing suspicion, Holly lay back on the cot, letting her muscles relax a little.

Holly thought it was minutes later when she sat up again, bit it was really just over one. She cracked open the Book. There _had_ to have been a change. That was the only explanation she could think of. Books- even magical ones- didn't normally glow.

And there were changes. Not one new page, but two.

On the first, the verse was short, and there was only one stanza.

_To find ye then, the place ye seek,_

_Dispel thine notion of great mystique,_

_The island's rock thou hast known before,_

_Search for nothing and know once more!_

The elf groaned mentally.

'_What kind of rock do I know? Magma? Was the island destroyed?'_ she thought, _'It must be talking about Mu though…'_

Her eyes scanned back to the bottom of the page.

'_Search for nothing…? What kind of stupid riddle is this?'_

She though for a while, but couldn't come up with anything else. It would make sense if Mu had already been destroyed though. _That_ wouldn't be good.

She decided to turn to the next page.

_The Book is not lenient, not as one such as I,_

_For pardon and mercy, even gold cannot buy._

_Unlike the others was this monstrous offense,_

_For Time is unbending, and the price, immense._

_Ponder now, Thieves, upon thine past crime,_

_And seek absolution, when comes the time._

_The Rule of Law and the Rule of Need,_

_Without their leave thou canst ne'er succeed._

_Choose to fail and return to thine lands,_

_Or fade into darkness, as dust on the sands._

_To you then, Thieves, a piece of advice:_

_No wrong is made right, save through sacrifice._

The elf furrowed her brow. She couldn't make anything of this message. Thieves?

The only thieves she knew were Artemis and Mulch, and she didn't even know where Mulch was in this world. She imagined he was probably off stealing some Mud Man trinket or other, taking advantage of the war and the surface, no doubt.

_Thieves. _More than one.

'_Could it be the two Artemises?'_

Holly scowled at the second half. Either fail or fade? What was that supposed to mean? Was there no way to succeed?

'_There has to be!'_

She reread both pages. This time, her gaze froze at _I_.

Holly was no linguistics expert, but it was obvious that somebody- and not the Book itself- was writing. Communication through the Book itself!

That wasn't possible. The magic needed to alter the Book was lost eons ago.

But then again, the Book had been changing for quite a few days now.

**

* * *

Minerva Paradizo's apartment, Quartier des Invalides, Paris**

Minerva leaned back on her chair and seemed to relax slightly. She looked almost relieved after letting the story out, but appeared tired from the effort.

"Mu…" she said slowly, with some effort, "is an ancient fairy stronghold."

Artemis immediately frowned. He had scoured six continents and over a dozen cultures' worth of fairy references- Polynesians included- and had never come across anything like that.

"You're Irish," Minerva turned slightly and glanced at the teen, "you must know something about the fairy forts and the old enchantments of the De Danaan."

"The last aboveground fairy dynasty," Artemis nodded, "before their defeat by Mud M-" he paused, "-by us."

"Yes, well, modern fairies claim the People are peaceful, but that really only begins after the ascent of the De Danaan. There were five dynasties of fairies before the De Danaan, and all of them gained leadership through war and conquest. Do you remember the Cessair Dynasty?"

Artemis' eyebrows arched up. "The first Irish society?"

The blonde nodded.

"Most of them were killed during a global flood, but some survived. This was when the species began to fragment- humans, elves, dwarves, and the rest settled in different places and formed their own kingdoms. But the demons… they did it a bit differently."

"They re-colonized Hybras," said Artemis impatiently, now scowling slightly. He was all for knowing more fairy history, but now was hardly a good time.

Minerva seemed to notice his annoyance.

"Well, yes… and a bit more," she said, "_Some_ of the demons went to the island of Hybras, but another- perhaps more adventurous- group sailed on after the flood. Years later, they ended up in the Pacific, stranded on a tiny island… which we now know as Mu."

Artemis thought back to the Hybras legends that Foaly had found, and swallowed. It was _possible_.

"You see," said Minerva, biting her lip briefly before continuing, "there were _two _lost demon colonies. I destroyed one, but the other still exists, even if the demons died out after the local ecology collapsed."

The Irish teen pressed his lips together tightly, his brow furrowing as he churned through the facts. This would have been so much easier if Qwan was around.

He looked up and saw Minerva watching him

"This island…" he said finally, "is it hidden by magic?"

The blonde shook her head.

"That was my first thought too. But the answer is much simpler. You realize of course, that very little of the Pacific Ocean has actually been physically charted- with depth soundings and such. Most of it is done by satellites now."

"And the demons of Mu anticipated remote sensing technology?" asked Artemis sarcastically.

Minerva almost laughed.

"No, they anticipated _magical_ sensing by other fairies." She paused briefly. "There is a substance that defies both magical and technological sensing. Basically the only way you could detect it is to see it or touch it. The fairies called it _unob'khanbu_. The common name, I believe, is translated to 'stealth ore'."

Artemis's mouth twitched slightly as he brought two fingers up to his temple. He took a long breath.

"I happen to have come across this substance before…" he said, shaking his head, "but an entire island made of it… you could end global poverty a hundred times over with that kind of wealth."

Somewhere in Artemis' brain, a group of neurons slapped the part him that had just decided to talk about _ending poverty_. He was a Fowl, not some idealistic buffoon! It must have been his father and all those little humanitarian projects.

He made a mental note to buy something obscenely expensive when he got back to his own time- that usually made him feel better about these occasional slipups. Maybe he would have his bathtub silver plated.

"It wasn't _always_ made of stealth ore," answered the woman. "The fairies did have some powerful extensive knowledge of alchemy back in the old, old days," Minerva shrugged, "Maybe the Philosopher's Stone pushed the mythology a bit, but stealth ore is the closest real alchemic metal, at least in terms of value."

Artemis thought for a bit, but then gave the blonde woman a hard, questioning look. She sighed and answered. It didn't take a genius to get the unsaid prompt. And even if it did, well, she _was_ a genius.

"I found my sources mainly in Egypt; the Leyden papyrus IV gave most of the details on stealth ore alchemy. James Churchward's diaries and the Ahu Akivi glyphs from Easter Island compiles into the most likely story of Mu. It was almost funny," she smiled without humor, "Most of the manuscripts that dealt with Mu were reproduced digitally online. I didn't even have to leave my house! It was just an ancient demon dialect of Gnommish, which all the anthropologists assumed was some badly-written Egyptian hieroglyphs. Too bad the Easter Island researchers never compared notes with Egyptologists."

"So why didn't you go look?" asked Artemis.

Minerva's glance was momentarily withering, but it fell quickly.

"I had just destroyed one demon colony," she said, "I was not about to go mess with another one, even if it was deserted." She looked away. "I'm not exactly… _evil_, you know. Ambitious to a deadly fault, maybe, but the same could be said of you."

Artemis opened his mouth to respond, but was interrupted by a loud knocking noise on the apartment's glass balcony door. Each knock sounded like it was being done with a vibrating electric toothbrush. When he looked towards the glass though, nothing was there. The pale light of a waning crescent moon could just barely be made out above the lights of Paris against a dark night sky.

"That would be Trouble and N°1," said Artemis.

Minerva started to get up, but froze and stared back at Fowl. "_Trouble_?" She shook her head and started towards the door. "Who the hell names these people?" she muttered.

The blonde slid the glass door open, and an elf appeared on the porch, followed shortly by an imp (though his reappearance looked more like stepping out of a slight fog than settling into the visible spectrum), who was trying to jump out the tangled links of a Moonbelt. Unfortunately, stubby imp legs weren't really made for jumping through hoops.

"Could you un-shield before knocking next time?" asked Minerva in what Artemis supposed was a greeting, "The vibrations could have shattered my door."

Trouble grunted.

"Yeah, sure Miss Paradizo. I'll remember that the next time I knock on your door because of a temporal crisis."

* * *

It was a few minutes later, and Trouble Kelp was fuming. Technically though, it only took about five seconds for Artemis to get him to that state.

"Let me ask you something, Fowl," he said, teeth clenched together tightly, "Is it just me, or do you seem to have a natural compulsion to kidnap fairies named Holly Short?"

"I _do not_," Artemis glared at the elf, "and for your information, I plan to personally get Holly back."

The teen turned to N°1 without another word on the matter, though his glance wasn't quite as smooth as it usually was. He nodded towards the imp's still-petrified arm.

"N°1, if you were to put a magical beacon on somebody like you did with me and Holly last time, how far could you pull them through space to you? Space only- no time."

The imp seemed to think for a few seconds.

"Time is a lot trickier… but I am missing an arm for all intents and purposes…" he scratched his chin, "So say… if you want about a ten-foot margin of error without that somebody turning into the consistency of beetle juice… then something like halfway from here to the Sun."

Trouble stared at the young warlock, obviously still not used to the extent of his magic. He heard Minerva give a low, appreciative whistle off to the side.

"It's a lot easier pulling things towards me than pushing things away," said the imp, as if he was explaining how to do a proper backstroke. "Why do you ask?"

"So I could have the proper plan," he responded. Artemis turned to the C Cube that was on one side of Minerva's dining table. "Destroy alternate files."

"Confirm deletion of three alternate files," came the voice from the machine's small speaker, "Confirm?"

"Yes," Artemis said quickly.

"Files deleted."

"Decrypt files named 'Commander,' 'Warlock,' and 'Scientist.'" The teen placed a CD under the Cube's omnisensor. "Burn files separately to CD."

Seconds later, Artemis turned back to the others with three CDs. Trouble rolled his eyes, spinning his copy around a single index finger and looking at it as if he had just been handed a clay tablet. Minerva muttered something about paranoid Irish teens.

"Please read the files," said Artemis, "Destroy them when you are finished. It is time we finally put some plans into action."

**

* * *

Outskirts of Dublin, the next morning**

Artemis checked his watch impatiently. He was currently sitting in a rented black sedan, parked in what was probably the closest parking space to the south entrance of Fowl Manor that was actually outside of Manor grounds. It was three miles away.

"Signal has cleared European airspace," came the calm voice of the C Cube from the back seat.

Artemis let out a small sigh of relief. Minerva and N°1 were already on their way to Hawaii via subterranean shuttle since a few hours ago. Hopefully, they would make it before the Fowl Learjet. Artemis' calculations placed them at least half a day ahead of the jet, but that was assuming mostly clear tunnels without any human interference. But these days, he couldn't be sure about the last bit.

"Finally!" exclaimed Trouble Kelp from next to the C Cube, where the windows' tinting hid him from the sun. Artemis shifted the car into drive. The blue device was evidently the only one that still spoke calmly.

The Irish teen drove carefully towards Fowl Manor, hoping that he was right about the Manor's security. He wasn't exactly welcome in the Manor anymore, but they would see about that soon enough.


	39. Plan B

**A/N: **Hi, I'm back (insert usual lament about exams and schoolwork here). Sorry about the delay!

**

* * *

**

**Artemis Fowl: The Book of Ages**

Plan B

* * *

The current war between humans and fairies was unlike anything either had ever experienced before.

From a human perspective, it was more disconcerting than anything else. For one thing, it was like a civil war. But instead of pitting brother against brother, it was adult against child- the cynical mind of the adult human against the imaginary friends of his own childhood. That and the fairies tended to look- at a distance- rather like small children.

The concept of battling a _fairy_ just didn't sound quite right no matter how charismatic a leader was. The words _gnome _and _enemy_ put in the same sentence seemed to inspire more late-night comedy than fear of destruction. But still, they pressed on.

As for the People, the general feeling was one of shock. They had magic. They had more advanced weapons. They had the home field advantage. Most fairies thought their opponents were supposed to be little more than slightly civilized Neanderthals. And yet, once again, they were losing.

The major misunderstanding on the part of the fairies was rather simple, if you actually stopped to think about it. They might have had magic and shinier guns, but in warfare, they were simply out of practice. In human society, on the other hand, having a war going on was about as common as reading a newspaper during breakfast. Multiple simultaneous wars would have seemed ludicrous in fairy civilization, but not so aboveground. It was peace that was an oddity to the Mud Men.

That was why, despite all their advantages, the People were losing ground. Modern humans had worked war down to a science. And in the human mind, science always trumped magic.

* * *

**Temporary LEP Command, Industrial District, Haven City**

The last time Foaly had been to a hackers' convention was back in the late fifties. That event had been held in Ys, and sponsored by the local LEP, in the hopes of spurring new computer security interest. More than a little of that had to do with the People's growing fears of global nuclear Armageddon, what with the Cold War going on and all. Even with a thick layer of crust between the Lower Elements and the surface, a nuclear war up there was quite a bit worse than an annoyingly loud upstairs neighbor.

Well, unless your upstairs neighbor was a radioactive Godzilla. Then it would only be somewhat worse.

That time, Foaly had helped choose six of the most promising young hackers, who were then discreetly offered a place in the LEP's newly minted cyber-warfare department. Back then, the centaur liked to think that he personally stopped a nuclear catastrophe by preventing Opal Koboi from being tapped for a Cy-War post. These days, he knew he was right.

The Cy-War department quietly disabled nearly half of the Mud Man armament over the next decade, and pointed most of the remaining missiles at the sun. A cursory examination wouldn't have shown any alterations, but it was a good thing nobody actually tried to fire a tampered missile. If that happened, the missile probably wouldn't have fired, but the silo personnel would have been. It was a small price to pay.

Foaly held the current record for number of missiles disabled in a single day (thirty-six, while causing only one regional blackout and a brief disruption in the airing of _Mister Roger's Neighborhood_ in Pittsburgh).

To be fair though, it was actually not that difficult to disable missiles. Firing them was a whole other issue.

Those were the good ol' days, when there wasn't a single Mud Man system in existence that could withstand a good centaur-grade cyber-pounding. Those days ended twelve years ago, when Foaly's computers discovered a security system guarding a tiny network in Ireland that they weren't immediately able to bulldoze. That remained an oddity for quite a while, until a little bit after the start of the latest war with the Mud Men.

Then suddenly, nearly all of America's military systems were impenetrable, followed days later by most of Europe's. Everything was open one week, and then a few days later, the most important human assets in the war were untouchable.

Foaly was flabbergasted. Fairy computer systems were _always_ ahead of Mud Man systems. It was like a natural law- absolute, unbreakable. Actually, maybe _flabbergasted _wasn't the right word. _Traumatized _would probably be a better description.

That time, the centaur would have pulled out the old bottle of synthohol from his side drawer and drank most of it in a single gulp, if not for the fact that when he did pull it out, he realized it was already all gone.

Right now, Foaly was going up against a similar problem. Only this time, the systems he was trying to hack were linked directly to weapons poised to eliminate the entire fairy presence of Haven City.

Foaly stared up at the high definition OLED screens that covered three walls of his makeshift lab. A three-dimensional map of Haven City hung quietly next to a map of the globe. He checked his new code over once more and said a little prayer before jabbing a stubby finger at the execute button.

Bright red tracers immediately emanated from a corner of the Haven map, jumping halfway across the city and then pausing before glowing brightly once before fading. A counter appeared on the edge of the screen and flashed a number.

_289_.

Foaly stood frozen for a moment, before gulping and leaning back heavily into his chair. Initial reports said that there were around two hundred drones. Now nearly three hundred drone signals had been detected. Fabulous. This made goblins with Softnoses look like squirrels with toothpicks.

The centaur scowled and cracked his knuckles.

* * *

**Residential District, Haven City**

Major Chix Verbil decided that this particular part of his life would have made an awesome video game. The lighting was still the usual twilight level, with some of Haven's main power sources out. Red emergency glow strips lit up the roads, though some were losing their light after being on for so long. Though most of the buildings were empty, Chix was sure there was some member of the LEP still convincing a diehard old fairy to leave an ancient home in one of the nearby quads. Ironically enough, the air quality seemed to have improved after the human occupation, since the invaders had apparently installed a new air purification system on their end of the city.

"Alright fairies, look sharp!" yelled Chix into his helmet mike as he crouched next to a rock ledge on top of an old apartment building that was hewn into Haven's rock.

In various positions overlooking the main avenue nearby, the other members of the eight-person fireteam cringed, several of them lowering the volume on Chix's channel.

"South end teams," came the much calmer, stronger voice of Wing Commander Vinyáya, "Recon's going to do one last sweep before Foaly pulls the blast doors."

There was a long pause before the comms crackled to life again.

"Uh, sorry Wing Commander," said Chix, "I… don't really know how to put this to you, but… the Lieutenant Colonel's still missing."

"Short!?" asked Vinyáya.

Chix cringed and nodded. He- more than most people on the force- appreciated having Holly around. Holly had been head of Recon before her capture, and had led the small three-fairy sniper unit he was assigned to. That, and there were the several occasions on which she had saved him from an early grave via goblin Softnoses and human assault rifles.

Vinyáya's channel crackled as she sighed into the speaker.

"Alright Chix, you're back in charge. Just follow the plan I outlined back at base."

The sprite nodded unconsciously and furrowed his brow as he and his team started their wings and lifted off silently. Holly had reported back just fine after her initial recon of the human drones. Unless she had gone off on her own somewhere, there was no way she could be missing now.

One thing was for sure though: if the elf had disappeared of her own free will, there was no way anybody could find her now. She knew all the Recon tricks, after all.

* * *

**Creech Air Force Base, Nevada, United States**

Captain Jack Bennett drained the last of his cup of coffee and tossed the Styrofoam cup into a nearby trash can, wiping his lips with the back of his hand. He was a small man by military standards, and among the first pilots allowed fly with contact lenses. The Air Force figured he could watch a screen as well as anybody else could. It wasn't like anybody in this particular division ever flew manned planes anyway.

He turned a corner to a hall of closed doors, where a single uniformed guard waited for him next to the closest door.

"Sir!" the woman saluted crisply.

"Mornin' Petra," greeted the captain with a light salute of his own.

"Captain Hsiao's already inside," said the guard, gesturing towards the door. "Bots are launching in about ten minutes."

Jack nodded.

"Good to hear," he muttered, not entirely enthusiastic, as he grasped the door's silver handle and let himself in.

The room itself was actually fairly small, with the same low beige ceiling and grey walls that adorned most of the 'cockpits'. Even with an over a seven hundred billion-dollar defense budget, most of the pilots guessed that the only time the military used interior decorators was for the generals' quarters.

Two computer consoles were set side by side, with three flat-panel monitors and traditional flight controls arranged in front of each. The consoles were the same color as the ceilings, so the only bit of color in the room was really just the traditional Air Force wallpaper that was currently on the displays.

A tall, almost lanky-looking Asian man sat in the console to left, starting up the uplink to their drone aircraft. Bennett flew the drone, but Andy Hsiao was the gunner. Usually, that wouldn't really be needed for a plane this small, but since there was so little flight space in Haven City, the Air Force required that flying and shooting be done separately.

"You know, I just thought of something," said Captain Hsiao without preamble, and barely turning around, "Just five years ago we would have been flying over Afghanistan or something. We just went from hunting terrorists to hunting fairies…"

Bennett rolled his eyes as he sat down in the next chair. They had similar conversations once every week or so. In fact, most people in their division did.

"I'm just wondering…" continued the other man, "is that supposed to be an improvement or something?"

Bennett sighed. "Better than doing recon work at least."

The displays changed on both pilots' screens. Hsiao unhooked a headset and adjusted the microphone before pressing a button by his ear.

"Creech alpha-four-niner-six logging in."

_Logging in_ was the new flight lingo, specific to the drone operators. It was part of the reason the manned pilots called them over-glorified video game geeks. Well, nowadays, drones outnumbered manned aircraft in the field four to one, so at least the geeks had the numbers advantage. That, and there wasn't a single pilot actually _in_ Haven City.

Maps flitted briefly across the screens, outlining a very basic model of Haven. Some areas were notably more detailed than others.

Bennett grabbed a clipboard from the wall as the displays changed to the camera feeds of a Predator drone.

"Preflight check," he announced, as he and the gunner began the usual startup routine.

'_Yeah… all just the usual,'_ the captain thought absently, _'It'll be just like flying aboveground against… regular… targets.'_

He happened to be very wrong.

* * *

**Temporary LEP Command**

"Julius!" called Foaly loudly as he clopped out of his so-called office space and into the main warehouse space, which had been transformed into a makeshift battle command center.

The old commander turned from looking at the holograms projected in the air and raised a finger. He hesitated for half a second before lowering it again, deciding it wasn't worth the effort to say something about name usage at this point.

"What?" he asked instead, scowling.

Foaly was in too much of a rush to notice the fact that he wasn't being yelled at for calling the commander by his first name. If he had noticed, he probably wouldn't have let Root live it down for the next few decades or so.

"So you know that plan we had with the fusion reactors?" he began quickly.

Root nodded, already getting a sour feeling in his stomach. He did _not_ like that tone- especially this close to the start of operations.

"Yeah…" said the centaur slowly, "it can't happen. The reactors have too many failsafes."

Two things happened at once. First, Commander Root's face turned about eight shades redder than his normal complexion. Second, Foaly's hands shot up in an almost defensive position as he took several large steps back.

"But-but-but-but BUT!" stammered Foaly, attracting the attention of everybody else in the room now, "We can still switch to Plan B. We just need to change the details a little. There's a magma flare due in half an hour."

Root froze. He seemed to calm down slightly, but if anybody had really been paying attention, they would have seen that his hands balled into tight fists.

The commander took in a long breath, not noticing that everybody in the room was now staring at him.

"Do it."

Foaly nodded twice.

"We'll need laser guidance," he reminded Root.

"You let me worry about that part," replied the commander, turning back to the holograms.

Foaly disappeared back into his own office, even as Root began yelling a new set of orders in the main room.

The centaur's desk was in a mess that, under other circumstances, could have been admired. At least half a dozen datapads and even two books were scattered around the small space. It had been a good few decades since Foaly (or most other fairies, for that matter) had opened any book besides _the _Book. All of the information was about magnetic plasma containment- not exactly light reading, even for Foaly.

The human occupation had severed Foaly's network link to Haven's main digital library, so the centaur had to rely on some of his old notes and textbooks from his college days. You could still tell quite easily from the notes where he was about to fall asleep.

But even from that limited information, it quickly became abundantly clear that the centaur's original plan of overloading one of the city's fusion reactors was as likely to work as getting a dwarf to stay away from dirt. Haven's protocols for all things nuclear (with the exception of some nuclear batteries) were strikingly similar to their human counterparts. The devices were made with three safeties in mind: easy to turn off, hard to turn on, and next to impossible to detonate.

Foaly thought that it wouldn't be all that difficult to do the next-to-impossible part. Unfortunately, he didn't design the reactors, and those who did were quite a bit more safety-conscious than he had expected.

But there was always Plan B.

Foaly grabbed a carrot from a nearby crate and stuck it almost cigar-like into a corner of his mouth as he typed furiously to open up an old emergency protocol in the LEP Retrieval files.

* * *

There was a good few seconds of radio silence between the five teams stationed along the city's human-fairy boarder when they heard the new orders. A few of them were swearing loudly in the privacy of their sealed helmets though.

"Alright fairies," said Wing Commander Vinyáya over the cross-team band, letting out a long breath as she went, "shields down, guns up. Whoever took my survival class back in the nineties should remember this particular scenario."

A few chuckles made it through the comm, though it didn't exactly comfort the old elf. Back then, the class was basically a series of hands-on training sessions in the jungles of Madagascar on surviving a full-on human assault until an extraction team arrived. The Council decided (against Vinyáya's vocal objections) that the whole program was overkill and cancelled it right at the start of the new millennium. Six months later, the goblin uprising occurred, and the wing commander had to bite back an 'I told ya so…'

Fairies began appearing- some on the ground, others in mid-air, still others on top of various buildings. Most were armed with Softnose assault rifles, with the odd Neutrino or Redboy mixed in. There were just over three dozen fairies, but this was probably one of the more formidable forces the LEP had assembled in a while.

A timer appeared on Vinyáya's visor, counting down from thirty-two minutes. In the distance, the wing commander could hear the low groans of blast shields coming down, cutting off most of the larger tunnel spaces.

"D'Arvit," cursed Foaly suddenly through the communicator

"What is it?" asked Vinyáya quickly.

"Blast shield at your two-o'clock," replied the centaur with a voice that made it sound like he had his palm on his face.

The wing commander looked at the direction Foaly indicated. There, a blast shield was coming down… and being blocked a good thirty feet from the ground by rubble on a partially collapsed upper level.

"Great…" she sighed, "This just keeps getting better and better."

* * *

**Creech Air Force Base**

The headsets crackled to life with a male, German-accented voice. "Bravo Squadron, you're clear for takeoff."

That was modern globalized war for you- you didn't even know who your commanding officer was. The guy could have been in an office in Dublin, or in the next room, and you'd never be able to tell the difference- not that it mattered. Captain Bennett only had the vague idea that this particular mission was under EU command.

Bennett looked over at the other officer and shrugged. Just their luck: everybody else got to wait while demolition teams brought the blast walls down, but their sector's walls had stayed half-open, which meant that they would be attacking first. They would soften up the targets somewhat, if not actually send their drone in.

"Let's get'er up," muttered Bennett, sending the Predator III down a short runway and into the relatively open space of several levels of Haven that had been blasted open into one big cavern.

Even with the modifications that allowed the drone to fly at low speeds and turn on a dime, it still wasn't exactly an easy flight. It was a good thing that most of the planes still on the ground weren't actually going anywhere. They knew that the fairies could detect their signals, so a bunch of decommissioned drones were brought down to Haven, both the act as a massive show of force, and to slow down any communications jams that the fairies might have thought to impose.

The Predator was approaching the open blast door now, and out of the corner of his eye, Bennett saw Hsiao lifting the cover on a small red button.

* * *

**Residential District, Haven City**

All hell broke loose the moment the first missile flew past the shielded perimeter.

Forty pairs of eyes snapped back from looking at the perimeter gap to following the missile, but by the time the LEP officers were able to look back, there was just one big fireball.

For Lili Frond, the closest real-life experience she had to seeing something like that was back when she was still in school. One of the parties she had gone to was rudely interrupted by a fiery explosion on the balcony. She saw a dwarf in handcuffs minutes later. Apparently, he had the brilliant idea of impressing the crowd by passing gas onto a lit match.

Turns out it wasn't a very good idea.

Unfortunately, the explosion she just saw- and felt- was quite a bit worse.

"Are you serious?!" she screeched into her helmet microphone, "We can't hit that!"

"Hold your ground!" yelled Wing Commander Vinyáya, "We have twenty-five more minutes until flare-up. Aim for the breech and wait for my mark."

The hum of an aircraft seemed to grow lower in pitch before suddenly reversing, gradually sounding higher again. Lili swallowed hard.

She saw a flash of light from beyond the half-closed blast door.

"FIRE!" ordered Vinyáya.

Not a second later, the unshielded section was filled with red and blue laser light, enough to scare even most ravers. Something sailed through the beams and hit a nearby deli, breaking into the glass front, but- thankfully- didn't explode. They must have hit the missile with enough energy to melt its workings, if not to slow its momentum.

Two more lights flared past the opening and the fairies opened fired again. One melted mess slammed into a supporting pillar, while another one missed, but exploded in a small fireball after hewing a hole into an apartment building.

"We can't keep this up for long," Lili heard Chix saying over the comm.

"We just have to hold them off for a bit longer," replied Vinyáya.

Just as she said that, an entire volley of projectiles whizzed through the opening, bombarding the residential district with earthshaking booms. It didn't look like any were hit by LEP lasers.

Lili was glad she was hovering now, because even though she was knocked off to one side by a sudden gust of wind, she knew she would have been knocked to the ground several times by now had she been on a building.

She glanced at the timer on her visor. Twenty-four more minutes until flare-up.

* * *

"I'll need somebody with a Neutrino," explained Foaly as Commander Root looked over his shoulder at the screens he was working with. "The other models don't have a low-power sustained firing capability."

"I think Colonel Yew still carries one," said Root, his lips moving oddly as if missing a fungus cigar.

Foaly had the personnel files up immediately.

"Yup," he said, glancing over the colonel's profile, "There's a Neutrino 3000 logged to him, still in active service. In fact, according to the gun's firing computer, he's using it right now."

"Good," replied the commander, moving next to Foaly, "Get the missiles ready and patch me through to Yew."

The first thing Commander Root heard when he put on a nearby LEP helmet was not the sound of Colonel Yew's voice. It was actually an explosion. Then came the colonel's voice.

"Commander," he greeted, sounded winded.

"Colonel, as soon as the forward teams can get the drones under control, I want you to move forward and act as a laser targeter. The flares will mess up our longer-range signals now that Foaly's comm boosters are out of commission, so we're sending in laser-guided missiles."

"Missiles, sir?" asked the colonel, confused.

"Bio-bomb, Yew," answered Root, his voice heavy, "We're blue-rinsing the administrative district."

There was a couple seconds of silence, far longer than any trained LEP officer should have normally allowed.

"Yessir," the sprite's voice came finally.

The commander looked up at the screen. Twenty-one minutes until the magma flare.

* * *

**A/N:** So during my obscenely long absence, I was contacted about a very interesting project. JyrFalcon345 is currently working on making an audiobook version of this story. (Yeah, I was pretty surprised too.) I've already heard some of it, and it sounds very good to me. So yeah, you can look forward to that sooner or later, though I believe he has been hampered lately by (what else?) school. Here's to wishing him good luck, and lots of patience!


	40. Ten Steps Ahead

**A/N: **I know, I'm terrible for being so late (that was probably my longest lapse ever). You can read my excuses on my profile if you want to, but I won't bore you with them here. Also, I'd recommend re-reading the last two chapters before reading this one if you're coming back to this story after my four-month absence. My sincere apologies. *Kowtows and backs away slowly*

* * *

**Artemis Fowl: The Book of Ages**

Ten Steps Ahead

* * *

**Inside Fowl Manor, Dublin, Ireland**

Holly Short sat on the cot with her eyes half-lidded and her back leaning against the concrete wall. She was tired, but she didn't know what time it was. Her stomach insisted rather loudly that it was well past lunchtime though.

At least last time, Artemis had the decency to feed her. And of course, she had Juliet to keep her company- sort of.

The elf's thoughts flickered over to the young Butler girl.

'_I wonder what she's up to in this world…'_

She probably didn't work for Fowl, at any rate. Juliet was too… spirited… for this kind of work. And the girl didn't seem like the type to go along with this Artemis' schemes.

Holly sighed.

But maybe she was wrong. Maybe this world was just a place of weird possibilities. Hell, she'd just about married _Trouble Kelp_ in this timeline.

The more Holly thought about it, the more ridiculous it sounded. She was an independent elf. But this world's version of her looked as if she held on her fiancé's memory like it was the last glowcube in a caved-in mine. The poor elf had become a love-sick lunatic.

But Holly had never felt like that before. Sure, she'd had a few relationships back in college, but nothing ever lasted more than two weeks. And then she went to the Academy and the LEP, where work _always_ took precedence over her personal life. Of course, the only time she didn't have work was when she had an Internal Affairs investigation pending.

It was kind of sad, really. The closest she had gotten an actual relationship in the past five decades was two kisses on a Mud Boy's cheek.

'_Actually, that last time was on the lips,'_ a little voice at the back of her head reminded her.

'_But that didn't mean anything,' _she told herself,_ 'Of course it didn't. It was all in the heat of the moment.'_

Her life was strange enough already, an odd kiss here or there wouldn't change much.

'_But I did a bit more than just kiss him…' _she thought, _'Just the other day when we landed in this timeline, I…'_

Holly quickly derailed that train of thought. But still… she did admit that she and Fowl had an unusual tendency to be thrown together and end up saving each other's lives.

The elf decided then that her mind was playing tricks on her, probably from the lack of sleep and food. She let herself fall over to her side and rolled over to face the wall, trying to clear her mind and fall asleep.

Before she was able to though, Holly had one last, crazy thought. She wondered what she might do if Artemis Fowl- not the evil one, _her_ Artemis- walked into the cell to rescue her. She decided he'd deserve a kiss for that.

Holly held on to that hope to drive away the oppressive feeling of imprisonment as she slowly and finally fell asleep.

**

* * *

Outside Fowl Manor, Dublin, Ireland**

Artemis Fowl was the consummate planner. Once, when he was six years old, he decided to schedule an entire day's activities from eight AM to nine PM down the minute- up to and including bathroom breaks. He succeeded in keeping the schedule. He never tried that again though; he knew better than to live as rigidly as he did that day. That particular stunt was just to prove to himself that he could execute a plan flawlessly.

As Artemis grew older, he learned to have contingencies ready, ensuring that he would stay on track even if things went wrong. He did not, after all, become a chess grandmaster by playing ideal opponents every time. But though he grew better at improvising and adapting, he was still a planner at heart. That was why he had been feeling increasingly uncomfortable with the whole alternate timeline business. To a planner, it was about as appealing as puberty and hormones.

Up until very recently though, that insecurity had always been compensated by having a certain elf next to him (or hovering nearby, as was the case). Holly Short, as Artemis had realized some time ago, was an expert in improvisation. That fact had saved them both on more occasions than the boy's pride would let him admit. He readily admitted nowadays though, that he and the elfin captain worked together rather brilliantly- not that he had many people to admit that to.

And so, as Artemis looked up and eyed the decidedly modern grey cannons mounted on the old guard towers of Fowl Manor, he tried to imagine what Holly would do. He had to suppress a wince at the thought.

Standing outside the burnished steel gates of Fowl Manor, Artemis was just beyond the visual range of a nearby security camera. Trouble Kelp was somewhere further off, possibly sitting on one of the hedges that dotted the outer perimeter beyond the walls and triple-checking the scenery through his helmet's Optix.

The teen slid the C Cube out of his jacket pocket and pointed the omnisensor at the gate mechanism. Normally, Butler would activate the gate while they were both in the car. In this case, the C Cube blew through the minimal wireless security in slightly less time than it took for Artemis to take another step. The gate had always just been for looks, anyway; no serious intruder would even blink at the steel bars. For one thing, an intruder could just go right over- or under- the gates.

No, the real security lay in the barely-hidden turrets up high. Artemis wondered briefly at the legal ramifications of having automated stun guns on the Manor's perimeter. But it probably wasn't anything that a well-placed bribe couldn't fix.

"You shouldn't have a problem with those," commented Trouble from a tiny earpiece Fowl had put on. Evidently, the officer was following Artemis' gaze from the iris cam the boy wore.

"No, I daresay I won't," Fowl frowned, "at least not going in."

The perimeter defense was composed of DNA cannons- Koboi manufacture, by the looks of it. Artemis, being, well, himself, would be able to walk right up to the front door. Much like the prison, getting would probably not be too difficult. Unfortunately, the cannons would stun Trouble if he got any closer, so Artemis was working alone this time.

The gate clicked open, and Artemis looked out at the wide expanse of grass, fountains, and the scattered statues that marked the grounds of Fowl Manor. Somehow, it seemed bigger than the teen remembered. None of the gardeners seemed to be around though.

"Intercepting transmissions…" said the C Cube coolly, its own sound already connected to the teen's earpiece. Artemis continued to walk up the long stone path to the mansion's main door, unconsciously buttoning his suit jacket with one hand while the other still held the Cube.

"Twenty percent of transmissions decrypted, eighty percent inaccessible," said the C Cube a few seconds later, sounding suspiciously disappointed. The Irish boy shook his head. He was projecting his own feelings to the machine's tone. Twenty percent?

"Looks like he set up an Eternity Code too…" mused Trouble.

"So it would seem," replied Artemis, walking slightly faster now. The C Cube wouldn't be able to interface with another version of the Eternity Code- the encryption was designed so that nothing but a precise reconstruction of the entire Eternity language was given to the computer. Artemis had suspected that his differing history with his counterpart in this timeline would have led to a different language. Unfortunately, he was right.

The entrance that Artemis reached was an old teak door, which had faded over the years. But the teen knew it wasn't just a wooden door. There was a solid steel layer between the wood that had been installed some time between the two world wars. And the security nowadays was hardly just lock and key. A recessed metal plate next to the door held up a pale green gel pad the size of a large coin. Above that, a thin vertical gap in the wooden post hid a variable-height retinal scanner.

Artemis shivered. He never really realized how similar his own security system was to that of a certain vault in Chicago. It was probably because he usually never had to open the door himself- Butler usually did that for him.

The teen pressed his thumb against the gel pad, quite conscious of the two cameras that were pointed at him from different angles. The retinal system flushed red between the wood, and Artemis leaned forward, showing his blue eye, but keeping his iris-cam-enhanced hazel eye well out of scanning range.

He held a breath. In his world, he had changed the scanner slightly after releasing Holly Short from her first… stay at the Manor. If the scan showed up incorrectly more than once, the column of light would turn into a stunning laser and leave the trespasser unconscious at the front door- a tactic he had borrowed from Police Plaza.

A moment later, the system shut down. Artemis let out his breath as heavy metal cylinders clicked into place and the doors swung open.

"I'm in," he whispered into his microphone. It felt a little absurd saying that. It wasn't like he was breaking into a bank or even a prison. It was his own _house_. Under other circumstances, it would have probably been embarrassing.

Now the problem was the people.

Obviously, the Fowl estate didn't exactly publish their personnel files, but there were other ways to find out who worked for the Fowls. As the saying went, all you have to do is follow the money. So Artemis had Foaly do a bit of file-checking. Luckily for him, the LEP had already built up something of a database on this world's Fowl. That information was compiled a little too late for the People to stop him from drastically changing the face of the Mud Men's military capacity, but at least this time, the Fowl financial record gave up something a bit more useful.

There were nine stable paycheck trails that led Foaly to the current employees of Fowl Manor: two gardeners, a cook, two maids, three permanent members of security, and a secretary. A tenth trail led to consistent payments towards St. Jude's Asylum for the care of Angeline Fowl. Artemis cringed briefly at that bit of news.

But as the teen walked into the silent main foyer of the Manor, there was nobody there. The sound of the door closing behind him seemed unusually loud. He pressed the intercom button on the wall and tried to speak as casually as he could.

"Abigail, would you meet me in the east wing staircase please- first floor, outside the kitchens."

Artemis had barely gotten to that location himself before he heard the tapping of heels on the marble floor around the corner. He quietly positioned himself next to the wall, palming the C Cube in one hand with the screen already open.

"Whenever you're ready, Fowl," said Trouble over his earpiece.

A woman cleared the corner, and Artemis immediately fell into step next to her, speaking before she even noticed he was there.

"Abigail, I'd like your opinion on this," he said quickly, thrusting the C Cube- a tad rudely- in front of her face.

"Abigail Kastrati…" came the silky, m_esmer_-layered voice of Trouble Kelp immediately.

The secretary, who was barely shorter than Artemis himself, froze with her shoulders squared and seemed to shake for a moment exhaling a breath and staring into the screen, where the elfin commander kept careful eye contact with her.

"Yes…?" she answered, her voice trembling slightly. But all of her attention was focused on the screen- nothing seemed to show that she even knew Artemis was there at all.

"Your employer, Artemis Fowl, is standing right next to you," said Trouble, "He's going to need your help to find something. Do you understand?"

"Artemis Fowl…" repeated the woman, as if she were chewing on the words. "Yes, of course, whatever Mr. Fowl needs," she finished, sounding much more sure of herself now.

"Good!" encouraged Trouble, "Now Mr. Fowl has been under a lot of stress recently, so it'd be best if you just ignore any little oddities you might notice and just do what you're told. I'm sure he would appreciate that a lot."

"Naturally… I'll do what I'm told. Mr. Fowl would appreciate it a lot…" the secretary nodded dreamily, her bright blue eyes seeming to glaze over.

"Excellent." Trouble paused. "Ah, yes… of course, _we_ never spoke, and you don't feel like anything as ridiculous as a face on a screen to anyone."

"You know what, you're right," agreed the woman, "I don't feel like talking about any weird people on screens to anyone."

Artemis pulled the C Cube away and nodded to Trouble, powering the machine down.

"Now, Ms. Kastrati," said the teen evenly, "I need to examine the elf we're holding and I need your help." He motioned for her to lead the way.

The woman stared at him for a long moment. Artemis gulped. What if he was wrong and they actually _had_ moved Holly? There was always that possibility. Maybe he didn't know the other Artemis' inclinations as well as he thought he did.

But then she moved, and Artemis felt relief rush over him. He had been unusually hesitant throughout this particular mission.

'_Maybe last time it was me against me for a lemur, but this time it's for Holly,'_ he thought as he followed the secretary along. But he realized almost immediately that the logic was wrong: it _wasn't_ just a lemur the last time- it was his mother's life. So why was it different this time?

Artemis shook his head slightly and consciously schooled his features, pushing doubt to the back of his mind. He'd dissect the difference later. Right now, he studied the woman who was leading him.

According to Foaly's research, Abigail Krastrati was twenty-seven years old, educated in the States, and had been working for Artemis Fowl for three years. Even under the _mesmer_, she walked as if she owned the house. Her platinum blonde hair and pale skin seemed almost glowing next to the jet-black suit and pumps she wore. If she walked with her employer, one might have been tempted to think that vampires had gone into the energy business. Artemis stopped himself from rolling his eyes. This world's Fowl seemed to keep blatantly conspicuous company. He was a man who wanted to be remembered.

Trouble's voice broke the teen out of his thoughts as they descended into the basement. "Fowl, your signal's breaking up."

"I know," Artemis responded quietly, slipping a few feet further back, "this area is lead-lined for the labs… and a cell. I suspected they would keep Holly here." He glanced at his watch. "Don't worry, we'll be able to make the deadline."

The elf made an impatient noise that was partially muffled by static. "Just make sure it's a '_we_' that's coming out."

"Will do, Commander."

The corridors were grey slabs now, lit by harsh halogen lighting from the ceiling. The secretary's shoes clacked with a slight echo in the still air. Then she stopped in front of a door.

"Here we are, Mr. Fowl," announced the woman, motioning towards a metal door with a hand scanner next to it. The woman palmed the scanner and the door swung open silently to reveal another door with a small window.

Artemis looked at the inner door before turning to the secretary. "Leave the door open."

The woman had barely nodded before Artemis stepped inside, leaning forward to look into the cell. It looked like a small, red-haired girl was asleep on the cot opposite the door, apparently wearing something black that covered her ears. She was curled up into a tight ball, facing away from the window. The teen's heart skipped a beat.

Then the door behind him slammed shut with a sinister metallic _clang_, trapping Artemis Fowl between slabs of concrete and steel.

* * *

Three minutes later, Abigail Kastrati stormed into Fowl Manor's security room with an expression that looked anything but placid and _mesmerized_. Two burly-looking men were poring over monitors on one side of the room.

"What-"

One of the men cut her off without looking away from the camera feeds.

"We were hacked Abigail."

Kastrati drew herself up to her full height and tried to look as intimidating as her employer usually did. It didn't quite work, but she got close, not that either man was looking her way.

"The DNA cannons?" she asked, "The gates, the doors?"

"Hacked," repeated both men.

"Must've been, no other explanation," added the blonde one, aggravation clear in his tone, "There goes that unbreakable Eternity Code…"

"Funny thing though," he continued, scratching his chin, "all the biometrics read this guy as none other than Fowl himself."

"Hm…" muttered the black-haired security guard, "Still, that was some good acting there, Abbey."

"It was Mr. Fowl's idea," said the woman, crossing her arms and huffing, "Everything's his idea." There was a pause. "Also, don't call me Abbey- do I look like some college co-ed you can butter up, Piers?"

Piers, the blonde, glanced over at her with a smirk on his face.

"Well actually…"

"Shut up," ordered Kastrati, her eyes flaring, "Need I remind you Mr. Fowl's not going to be happy about this intrusion, even if he did have a contingency?"

Both men sobered up quickly with that remark, and Piers sat up noticeable straighter.

"So…" began the black-haired guard slowly, "who wants to call Fowl?"

* * *

Artemis didn't actually stay between the doors for long. There was a lit keypad in the wall next to him to open the secondary door into the cell, and using the C Cube to control his iris cam's thermal imaging system, he got a reading on the most recently pressed keys. The passcode turned out to be six digits long. It took the teen thirty seconds and two tries to figure out the correct sequence.

Whatever Holly was wearing on her ears, it apparently stopped her from hearing the door open. Artemis didn't look back when the door closed again, but instead, stepped forward and studied the sleeping elf before him.

He reached out and rolled her over gently, slipping what he now realized were noise-cancelling headphone off her ears.

"Holly…" he whispered, shaking her shoulders slightly, "wake up."

When the elf's eyes opened a moment later, her expression seemed to change very quickly through several different emotions. First, confusion. Then surprise, fear, and defiance.

"What do you want now Fo-" she stopped when she realized that she was hearing her own voice normally now, without the noise-cancelling devices. She narrowed her eyes suspiciously at Artemis.

"Holly," said Artemis, putting his hands forward, "it's me."

He wiggled his switched fingers, then pointed towards one blue eye.

"Iris cam," he mouthed, "this is your eye."

Holly's expression slowly changed back into surprise as his words hit her. Then she did something Artemis never quite expected. And this was Artemis, who plans for nearly everything.

Holly Short sprang up and launched all three feet of herself at the teen, dragging him down slightly and kissing him quite unceremoniously. Maybe it was the lack of sleep.

Now, had Artemis been thinking clearly, he might have realized that such a blatant display of emotion could easily be used against them by the people who were undoubtedly watching them through the room's security camera.

It took him a few long seconds, but Artemis' brain finally seemed to decide to return to his head.

He glanced meaningfully at the ceiling of the room.

"Camera," he nodded slightly towards the device, "iris cam?"

If Holly had paler skin, she would have probably turned red. As it was, her face turned a rather interesting maroon color. It wasn't such a big deal that the ceiling camera saw it… it was that the iris cam did. Now Trouble was bound to see the recording eventually. But Holly had a snappy remark anyway.

"Artemis," she hissed, "that was called a _moment_. You do not interrupt an elf when she is having a _moment_, especially when your elf-kissing days just came back. Now, what took you so long?"

The teen stared blankly at her.

It was at that moment that the wall-mounted speaker crackled to life.

"Really…" sneered the voice of Abigail Kastrati, "that's just plain disgusting."

Holly muttered a few choice Gnommish curses under her breath, but didn't look at Artemis.

"You managed to get through the secondary security," observed Kastrati, "You've very good, Mr. Ackart... even if your choice of companions is rather questionable."

Artemis stood and bowed towards the camera before flashing a vampire smile at the lens.

"I try, Abigail," he stopped and smiled wider, "By the way, you should congratulate Fowl. Mirrored contact lenses tinted to your eye color… very clever. Almost unnoticeable. I had only an inkling of suspicion about that before you shut the door on me."

There was a long pause on the other end before someone spoke again. This time, it was a man.

"Listen up, wiseguy. I don't give a damn how smart you are, because unless you can outrun bullets and lasers, you and your little _girlfriend _are still trapped in that concrete hole. There are enough armed men outside that door to kill both of you a thousand times over. You might be able to plan a move ahead, but Artemis Fowl always stays ten moves ahead of everyone else."

'_Thank you,' _smiled Artemis, _'Though the killing hyperbole is a tad unnecessary.'_

Then he thought, _'He only has two men out there. I wouldn't waste so many people on a single unlikely backup plan.'_

Holly, who had been ignoring the banter and trying the more practical action of attempting to pry open the door (unsuccessfully), turned back around and shot a look at Artemis.

He motioned her towards him and leaned in to whisper in her ear.

"Trust me."

He could still feel the heat from her cheek when he drew back. But he did so only to reach out his right hand to grab Holly's left.

Artemis checked his watch and decided he still had time to give a small piece of advice.

"I wouldn't recommend using bullets in that hallway," he said to the camera, "Bullets ricochet, and in an area that confined, your supposed army would cut itself to bits even if you kill us. Imagine all the insurance paperwork that would cause."

He leaned in close to Holly again.

"Hold on," he said quietly, "and _don't _let go."

* * *

Ms. Kastrati had been the one to call Artemis Fowl II.

"The copycat broke in then, I presume?" asked Fowl as soon as the connection went through.

The woman started a little. Even after working for Fowl for a few years, she still wasn't used to that kind of intelligence. It was unnatural, really.

"Yes, sir," she responded before biting her lip.

"And…?" prompted Fowl.

"He was contained, sir," continued Kastrati, "as per your plan. But he managed to break into the elf's holding cell."

"Hmm, that could be troublesome…" mused the Irish genius, "Separate the two. Don't call in the police yet. Ackart may be an escaped convict, but I'd like a few words with him. Patch this call through to his room once you get him new accommodations."

"Of course-" began the secretary, before being cut off by Piers.

"Uh… I think we have a problem."

"Excuse me a moment, sir," said the woman, "What?" she hissed at the security guard.

Piers stepped aside so that she could see the camera feed. It looked as if nobody was inside.

"Shit…" cursed the other guard.

"Rewind that," ordered Kastrati immediately.

The guard pressed the keys, and the three people in the room watched as their two prisoners reappeared in a cocoon of red sparks. When Piers started the recording again, they watched in horror as boy and elf disappeared once again in a bright crimson bubble.


	41. Right Questions

**A/N: **This is where details from earlier chapters (some from _very_ early chapters) come into play.

* * *

**Artemis Fowl: The Book of Ages**

Right Questions

* * *

_"Those things which are precious are saved only by sacrifice."- David Kenyon Webster_

* * *

**LEP Temporary Command, Haven City**

The magma flares were finally up. It seemed like half the district had been turned to molten slag already, but the point was, the Mud Man drones lost their connection to their aboveground controllers and had to retreat. For now, at least.

The motley group of LEP officers scattered in the air and on the ground gave a tired cheer across the communications channels.

Seconds later, all the channels opened again. "Root to all officers, pull back to the green zone. We're blue rinsing the admin district."

There was a mixture of reactions to the announcement. Some of the LEP pulled back immediately and wondered why it had taken so long for a blue rinse to be ordered. Some were just too jaded to care. Some felt uncomfortable with the fact that an entire _district_ was being bio bombed. The last group was a very small minority though.

In the relative quiet of the command center, Commander Root dropped the console microphone and turned to Foaly.

"Press the button," the old elf ordered.

A few years ago, Foaly would have groaned and began a speech on how complicated his precious machines actually were and that telling him to 'press the button' was an insult to modern weapons technology. A few months ago, the centaur would have whinnied rather loudly before following orders with an unhappy face.

This time, he just did what he was told- which, because of the simple setup of the temporary command center, actually _was_ just pressing a large fingerprint scanner. To Foaly's chagrin, the scanner was large, red, and looked rather like one of those doomsday buttons they used in old movies.

Sirens around the command center called out a few low, mournful wails before growing silent again.

Foaly glanced at the unmoving commander before nudging him.

"Shouldn't you say something dramatic?"

Root pulled out a cigar and stuck it between his lips before realizing that he had nothing to light it with. He chewed on it for a moment before snatching it back between his fingers.

"Frond help us all?" he said a few seconds later.

"Yeah," answered the centaur without humor, his eyes back on the screens. "Something like that."

* * *

Six short missiles, each barely taller than the average LEP officer, rocketed towards the cavernous airspace hallowed out from several of Haven's destroyed levels. A few fairies had stayed in the air, hovering above the green zone- against regulations- to watch the lethal light show.

They didn't quite see what they expected though.

Instead of pale blue explosions of light on the ground, several bright red fireballs blossomed in the air with a deafening succession of earth-shaking _booms_. Rock fragments rained down from the ceiling of the cavern.

Somebody's luxury condominium was crushed by some rather ungainly stalactites.

**

* * *

Administrative District, Haven City**

Nobody pulled a trigger to shoot down the LEP bio bombs. The sector's air defenses had turned on automatically as soon as the magma flares forced the drone squadrons back to base. Actually, the two Irish soldiers watching the anti-air installation had very nearly wet themselves when Patriot missiles suddenly flared up and shot into the air right behind them.

One of the soldiers whipped his head around just in time to see the explosions in the air. A flash of blue light lit up the sky a few blocks away on the ground.

"What the hell?" he exclaimed, his hands tightening around his assault rifle as he scanned the feverishly at the horizon.

His partner was slightly faster with protocol though.

"Interceptors fired," he yelled into his communicator, "interceptors fired!"

It was routine- a backup, since Central Command would have received electronic notification as soon as the missiles fired.

All he got in return was static.

The other man looked over anxiously at the hissing communicator.

"Hey Tom, did you see those blue flashes?" he asked slowly, "I think… I think they might have hit Command."

There was almost a minute of silence, punctuated only by the occasional buzz or hiss from the walkie-talkie.

Suddenly, it crackled back to life.

"This is General McCormick on all channels to any available persons in Main Command," came a hard-edged female voice, "Please respond."

More static.

The channel cleared again just in time for the two men to hear what sounded like the tail end of a string of curses.

"McCormick to all divisions, red alert. Main Command is out and unresponsive. Missile and mortar teams, initiate general firing sequence; kill their launch sites if you can, then aim for the rest." There was a long pause. "God help us all… Let's shut these fairies down!"

**

* * *

LEP Temporary Command, Haven City**

Foaly's eyes were still glued to the screen as he shuddered involuntarily.

"They had a missile defense system in place."

"How bad?" asked Root, his cigar moving up and down as he spoke.

Foaly looked at the commander from the corner of his eye. "For us or for them?"

"Either," responded the old elf, "both."

"Four anti-air missiles took out three of ours. About a fourth of the administrative district got blue-rinsed by the rest. Seems like most of their headquarters is out of commission now." The centaur pulled up an approximate damage report. "That's a good thing, right?"

Julius Root had been in the LEP for centuries, though technically, he had never been in any full military operations until quite recently. Still, he had enough sense to be able to guess what would happen.

He stared at the splotches of blue on the on-screen map, and noticed the places that were undamaged.

"No… _most _of their command being out is not a good thing," he turned around and spoke slowly. "Fire the rest of the arsenal."

Foaly paled. "All of it?"

"All of it," confirmed Root, opening the door and stepping out of the makeshift Ops Booth.

"Somebody get me a lighter! I've been chewing on this cigar for too damn long." Foaly heard the commander yell before the door slid shut.

That was when he realized just how much trouble they were in.

* * *

The fireworks lasted for a little over half an hour. Three apartments and half a deli were left standing in the residential district. Blue lights flashed over the human sectors seventeen more times.

Haven City did not live up to its name.

* * *

**Time Stream, En route towards the Pacific**

A long-distance teleportation was really not all that different from time traveling. Space-time was the same stuff whether you ripped it one way or another anyway.

It seemed to Holly Short that with each magical trip she took, she seemed to be able to 'read' others' minds better. Maybe it was just a matter of experience- though to be fair, her main experience was with Artemis.

This time, she didn't immediately feel any distinctly articulated thoughts coming from the Irish teen. Instead, she felt a certain amount of smugness, probably at having defeated the other Fowl. But as quickly as she felt that, it was replaced by concern. Holly got the image of Artemis counting assets- talents, equipment, and situations that they could use to their advantage- almost like he was preparing for a corporate takeover or a war.

'_Too many variables…'_ he kept on thinking.

Holly briefly thought about what she had last seen in the Book, and Artemis seemed like he was about to ask her to elaborate. But then they landed.

**

* * *

North Pacific Ocean, 400 nautical miles south of Midway Atoll**

They landed on the deck of a ship in relatively calm waters, which was, of course fortunate for them. A few lights lit up deck chairs and what looked like a large black piece of glass on the floor. Everything else was pitch black- not a single bit of land or light could be seen.

Trouble landed next to them, straightening up from a squatting position that he had apparently been in before being transported.

"Everything went alright then?" he asked, "Holly? Fowl?"

"I'm alright, Commander," answered the elf towards Trouble's dark outline. "They didn't do anything too terrible."

"She's dehydrated," stated Artemis quickly before looking down to glance at the redhead, "He didn't give you anything to eat or drink, did he?"

"How did you-" began Holly, before the teen reached down to touch her lips lightly. She blinked. He noticed _that_ when she kissed him?

"Oh…" she answered softly, then shook her head. She wished she could see Artemis' expression clearly.

A creaking sound announced the opening of a trap door behind them, followed quickly by the appearance of a beam of light and Minerva's head.

"Welcome aboard the _Ace of Hearts_," she announced, looking them all over briefly, "Good to see everyone's still in one piece."

* * *

Artemis watched from the corner of his eye as Holly took a long gulp of water and popped an orange slice into her mouth as they sat- two humans, two elves, and an imp- in the _Ace of Hearts_' tiny cabin. He sat on the small couch, flanked by Holly and Minerva, while the other two fairies sat on small stools.

"… lucky for us these eco-tours still operate out of the Midway Islands, otherwise it would have been much more difficult to find a ride," Minerva was explaining.

"The captain was very nice," added N°1 cheerfully, "he really liked me when I pretended to be Ferdinand."

"And where's he now?" asked Trouble.

"Sleeping," replied the imp, "it _is_ three in the morning. From what I know, most humans would be asleep at this hour. So would a lot of animals. Except things like bats," he turned to Minerva, "Did you know we have bats in Haven?"

The woman shook her head slowly.

"Oh, right," continued N°1, "the other human is keeping watch from the front of the ship."

"Both men were _mesmerized_," assured Minerva, anticipating Trouble's concern a little better than the warlock. She leaned over and whispered quietly to Artemis. "You'd best be careful on this island, especially since your warlock is still more or less missing an arm to work with." She paused, and the teen thought she was about to say something, but then bit it back. Instead, she spoke to the whole group now.

"We should be reaching Mu's coordinates by tomorrow afternoon," she said, "I suggest everyone get what sleep they can, I have a feeling tomorrow- or, today, rather- is going to be a long day."

"Agreed," muttered Artemis, though he wondered if any of them would actually be able to sleep. He probably wouldn't be able to at any rate, not the least of which would be because he was still on Dublin time.

A few seconds passed while everyone seemed to be waiting for everyone else to get up first. Then the teen felt a head slump over into his lap.

'_Apparently, besides not eating and drinking, Holly didn't quite sleep properly at the Manor either,' _guessed Artemis.

Trouble looked at his officer with a raised eyebrow, and N°1 looked like he was trying to hide a smirk. Minerva's expression betrayed nothing.

The Irish teen shrugged, but still felt a bit of heat rush into his face. He slipped the elf off his lap and stood up, staring at her for a good couple of seconds. In any other situation, he would have called Butler over to help, but instead, he heaved a sigh and gave in, gently scooping up Holly's sleeping form, a little surprised at how heavy she was for a creature her size. It was probably a good thing Holly was fast asleep- any person who was awake would have definitely complained about Artemis' lack of person-carrying skills. She might also have noticed that his arms started shaking within seconds.

He looked at the three others in the room. "Would anyone like to point me to a bed?"

_**

* * *

Ace of Hearts, offshore of the island of Mu**_

Raw stealth ore, as it turns out, was black. It also didn't seem particularly good for growing anything. These two facts made the island of Mu a slightly startling- if a bit boring- sight. It looked like a big bare black rock surrounded by black sand rising out of blue waters.

If a satellite had been able to pick it up on a sunny day, Mu would have probably looked like an unsightly zit in the middle of the Pacific.

"Ship's radar doesn't detect anything. It's like there's nothing there," announced Minerva, motioning towards the island. "Seems like we're at the right place."

They were standing on the deck of the small ship, anchored a ways offshore, still a little more than a day ahead of the time specified by the other Artemis Fowl.

"We only have one full set of LEP equipment between us," reminded Trouble, "and this ship's rations will only last so long."

Holly winced slightly at that. She'd had most of her equipment taken away, leaving her looking rather exposed in little more than the thin white thermal layer of her uniform.

"It doesn't matter," said Artemis, looking towards the island, "I doubt we'll be staying for long. It would be best to get this over with before the other me arrives. We should get our things and get to the beach as soon as possible."

The fairies nodded and one by one, disappeared back below deck. Artemis was about to follow them before a pale hand grabbed his wrist.

"Wait a second, Fowl. A word, if you please," said Minerva quickly.

The teen saw Holly pause and look up from her position halfway down the steps.

"Of course," he replied to the French woman before turning to Holly, "I'll be just a moment." He gave her a weak smile. For some reason, she looked reluctant to leave him, and he felt like he had to reassure her. Emotional trauma from her last kidnapping, perhaps.

He looked up and saw Minerva staring at him. "Yes?" he asked.

She glanced at the door once before walking towards the side of the ship, leading him away from where others might have heard.

"Artemis…" she began slowly, not looking him in the eye, "assuming that you succeed… I would- this _timeline_ would disappear, wouldn't it?"

The teen started to answer, but then bit his tongue. He had always known of the possibility in the back of his mind- in fact, he always thought that _would_ be the case. But standing here in front of a full, flesh and blood Minerva Paradizo, he found himself stuck. How was he supposed to tell her that yes, if they managed to restore the timeline, Minerva would cease to exist as the woman who was just a few feet from him?

Seeing his hesitation, Minerva closed her eyes and lowered her head.

"Never mind, forget I asked."

But Artemis felt he owed her the truth. The last time he had deceived someone and used them for his own ends hadn't turned out well.

"There's a distinct possibility of that," he whispered.

Minerva's hands were balled into fists and she looked more nervous than Artemis had ever seen her before when she looked back up.

"Of course there is," she responded dully, giving him a humorless, ironic smile, "I should know. I disproved the multiverse theory two years ago. There can only be one linear timeline." She swallowed noticeably. "Que sera sera…" she said quietly.

There was a long silence on the deck, broken only by the gentle rolling of water against the side of the ship and on the beach further away.

"You said we were friends in your time," said Minerva suddenly, "I never got around to asking you this, but was I… was I a good person?"

Artemis tried to smile. "You can be."

The woman seemed to brighten up slightly at the news.

"Merci," she muttered, then turned and touched Artemis lightly on the shoulder, pulling him back to the door downstairs. "Make sure I don't do anything too terrible, won't you?"

The teen nodded once. "I will," he assured her.

* * *

N°1 teleported the group to the black sand beach a little less than an hour later.

As soon as they landed, Holly felt a light tickling sensation crawl across her skin. Looking down at her arms, she gasped loudly. Faint blue sparks jumped across her skin, lasting for a good few seconds before they faded.

"Magic… I can't believe I didn't sense this on the ship." muttered N°1 next to her. He touched his free arm to his petrified one, and the stone cracked before the surface layer fell off like an ugly cast to reveal a pinkish arm that quickly reverted to its natural grey color. The imp looked up in amazement. "This shouldn't be possible if I couldn't fix it before…"

"Quite right it shouldn't! Not unless there was _demon_ magic on the island too!"

Holly's head whipped around to see who had spoken and nearly crashed into a large dark wing.

There was a pale blue water sprite behind her. How he had gotten behind her though, she couldn't say.

"Hello!" he greeted cheerily, smiling with two rows of sharp teeth, "You're Holly Short." He said that like he was introducing her to himself, which rather scared the elf a bit.

She took a large step back. He took a large step forward.

"Yet you're not _Lieutenant _Short," he stared at her intently. Holly guessed he was studying her eyes. She opened her mouth, but was still too startled to speak.

"You're also taller than Short," continued the odd creature, looking her up and down, "Taller than Lieutenant Short, I mean. You are taller than her, Short. And she is shorter than you, Short!"

He laughed at his own joke with an absurd cackle.

Holly blinked. "Who-" began the elf, before she was interrupted by Trouble.

"Gerany?" asked the commander, with a bewildered expression.

The sprite looked over and rolled his eyes.

"It's _Gerouny_," he said. "And yes, while I am _called_ Gerouny, like I told you before Commander Trouble Kelp, I _am_ not Gerouny. But then again, you're supposed to be dead, so what's a name to a dead elf?"

"You've met?" asked Artemis with a raised eyebrow.

"Yeah…" said the commander, "He's supposed to be the assistant caretaker of the World Map vault."

"But you aren't a water sprite," exclaimed N°1, pointing a finger at the stranger. "I might not be a full warlock, but even I can sense a disguise!"

Gerouny grinned.

"Gerouny… Gerouny…" muttered Artemis under his breath. He seemed to think about it for few seconds while staring at the sprite. Then his eyes lit up. And he groaned. "Really? That's the best name you could come up with? An anagram?"

The sprite raised a finger.

"That," he said with a smirk, "is the wrong question."

"Fine," replied Fowl with a scowl, "Better questions then. If you are the Younger Warlock of Hybras, why are you still alive, and why are you here?"

"Those, Artemis Fowl, are the _right_ questions."

The light blue skin on the fairy seemed to blur and vibrate randomly. Then, as if somebody blasted an ice sculpture with a blowtorch, the sprite itself melted to the ground.

An ancient, scaly-looking black imp was left in the sand. It smiled at N°1 with viscous, yellowed teeth and mischievous green eyes.

"Good to see that idiot Abott didn't kill _all_ the smart imps."

"Wait-wait-wait!" cried N°1, throwing his hands up in the air before pointing a finger at the black imp, "You're the Younger Warlock from that boring epic poem! That means the Book of Ages _is_ here!"

The Younger's scaly face contorted itself into a sort of odd expression. To Artemis, it bore a striking resemblance to the face Juliet's 'well… duh' face.

"That _was_ the working assumption wasn't it?" asked the Younger. But then he looked around, and held one gnarled hand up to an ear. "But I think you have other things to worry about right now. I'll see you all in due time."

He turned to Holly and gave her a faint smile.

"Especially you, Not-Lieutenant Short."

The sound of a motorboat roared in the distance.

A loud _crack-boom_ sound split the air, and the spot on the ground between Artemis and Holly blasted apart, sending black sand bursting out into the air.

Everyone ducked to the ground- with Minerva being the slowest, though Artemis was not much faster.

"GET DOWN!" bellowed Trouble, a bit late.

There were no other explosions, and seconds later- after the ringing cleared from Artemis' ears, the sound of waves was dominant again. He poked his sand-blackened face up slightly.

Nobody was screaming in pain, he noted. That was always a good thing.

But the strange black imp had disappeared.

* * *

**A/N: **The ship was originally named _Another Woman_, after a boat I saw in Canada, but then I realized it would make my sentences sound awkward. _Ace of Hearts_ was the boat I saw next to _Another Woman_.**  
**


	42. The Book of Ages

**Artemis Fowl: ****The Book of Ages**

The Book of Ages

* * *

Artemis Fowl grabbed a large handful of black sand and let it trickle slowly between his fingers. Some of it ended up in a small, clear phial he held in his other hand. He put a stopper in the phial and shook it a little, letting the sand settle before slipping it into his pocket. Despite the fact that he had just lost a prisoner a few hours ago, and despite the fact that some impersonator had actually proved to be a _challenge_ for him to defeat, he smiled.

"We're standing on the future, Opal," Fowl said, "At the risk of sounding melodramatic, I'd say this will change the world as we know it."

Opal was a few feet behind Artemis, and trying to catch up. She had insisted on wearing her usual four-inch heels off the ship, something Fowl put up to a Napoleonic Complex. Even as a human, Opal was rather on the short side. But heels really did _not_ work well on a beach.

"You're missing the point," she said, stopping briefly to hide a wince as a heel sunk into the sand, "if this Book of Ages real, _it_ would be the prize. With it, I could easily dominate the world." She said all of this matter-of-factly, as if world domination was something any person would think about on a daily basis.

Artemis shrugged.

"You see, that's the difference between you and me, Opal. You want power for the sake of riches… and I want riches for the sake of power." He reached a large black rock that jutted out of the ground, and stopped walking. "Now… as for what our benefactor wants… that may be something else entirely."

Opal caught up to him a few seconds later.

"Well?" she asked him.

Artemis checked his watch- a Rolex that he had upgraded with stolen LEP personal shield technology.

"This is convenient," he said, a little louder than was really necessary. "They're here, we're here, and that's probably our little benefactor hiding behind the tree at my ten-o'clock direction."

He glanced back at Opal, who seemed started for only a moment before she smiled. Curling the fingers on one hand, the former pixie let purple sparks loose on her entire forearm before reaching out into the air towards the lines of trees.

She pulled at the air, not unlike a mime jerking on a leash.

There was a quick, shrill yelp as a short, helmeted figure arced through the air and landed at Opal's feet. Opal kicked at the helmet release with her shoe, causing the visor to retract.

She blinked.

"YOU!" she shrieked, pointing a shaking finger at the figure.

"Hmm, something the matter?" asked Artemis as he slowly turned around and looked down.

A tan-skinned elf stared back at him, upside down. Two hard, hazel eyes glared fiercely at him.

Artemis had to try very hard to suppress a look of surprise, his mind racing as he tried to fit facts into place and reassess the situation. But Opal acted almost immediately, as red sparks flitted around her fist. Before anybody could respond, the woman launched a deep purple bolt of energy at the elf.

Her tiny body jerked up violently, landing on the ground with a dull _thump_. Blue magic raced around her body, healing it beneath a battered uniform as her body seemed to twitch in odd places.

"D'Arvit," cursed the elf, pushing herself up painfully onto her elbows. Opal glared dangerously at the small figure.

Fowl's fingers moved slightly towards the handgun at his waist, but stopped before he actually touched the weapon. He took a careful step backwards- no sense in making it too easy for her if she tried anything.

His eyes didn't leave the elf.

"Who are you?" he asked softly.

The elf grunted as she got up, dusting sand from her uniform.

"My name is Holly," she said simply, "and if you want to finish our deal, you'd better listen to me."

A loud _crack-boom_ roared in the distance, causing all three people to look up.

Artemis didn't look the least bit concerned about the sound, but his brow furrowed slightly when he turned back to the elf.

"I do not believe that is the case anymore… Holly. Either you are not who you say you are, or someone has been trying to pull off some extraordinarily convoluted diversions. Opal," he gestured at the elf, "binds, if you don't mind. And please don't kill her."

Opal muttered something under her breath that sounded vaguely murderous before lifting a hand. A haze of energy lit up the air around Holly, and her body jerked up into the air horizontally, her arms and legs immobile. The visor on her helmet shut by itself, cutting off her protests she could start.

Artemis' mind racked with possibilities, though very few of them seemed to have much merit. He could tell that there were subtle differences between his former captive and this elf. The most obvious were the eyes, but that could have easily just been a contact lens. If he wasn't mistaken though, this elf seemed just a little shorter than the one he captured. And even through the uniform, she seemed slightly stockier. Her face looked like it had been weathered by experience, much more so than the other elf, even though Artemis remembered that both were probably much older than he was to begin with.

He began walking again, and rolled his eyes as Opal followed, but rolled the immobile elf in the air next to her as she walked for her amusement. The former pixie was going to trip if she didn't focus on walking.

"You know, you should really just take the heels off," Artemis chided. No matter how much brainpower he spent on plotting, he always reserved a little bit just for noting Opal's many absurdities. It was something of a pastime for him.

"No." The woman glared daggers at him. Fowl shrugged and continued walking.

They went on in silence for a few moments before Opal spoke up again.

"Somebody is going to end up dead by the end of the day," she predicted with a tiny, wicked smile.

Artemis nodded absentmindedly, his gaze still focused in front of him in intense concentration. It actually wasn't that unusual of a proclamation for Opal to make. After a second, he glanced at their floating prisoner, who was doing an involuntary somersault through the air.

He slowed down until he stood next to the floating elf.

"There is something going on here that neither you nor we have the full details of, Holly Short. But regardless of your identity and allegiances, you have been most useful. So I shall tell you something you may find interesting." Fowl leaned in and whispered quietly next to the elf's helmet. "You see, this place," he swept an arm carelessly around the land in front of them, "works for me now."

They turned a corner around a large basaltic boulder that jutted oddly out of the beach.

"Oh look, Artemis," said Opal sweetly, pointing a finger off into the beach, "idiots fumbling in the sand."

Fowl looked up and quickly twisted the bevel on his watch. A silver sphere flickered once around him before the air became clear again as his personal shield powered up. He pulled a Bluetooth device from his pocket and clipped it on to one ear.

"Good job, Coleman. Take out any immediate threats, but leave Ackart and that female elf alone."

* * *

Artemis' bodyguard lay prone on a large rock several hundred feet away. He was dressed entirely in black and leaning his cheek gently against the butt of a rifle. There were no darts this time.

Coleman felt like he was back in the field again- a soldier- not just a rich man's hired protector. But even he wasn't sure what he was a soldier for this time. Something definitely felt very off. He pushed these thoughts out of his mind though, as he set up a new shot.

Through the fairy filters on his scope he saw one figure- an elf- jump up from the sand and launch itself into the air with mechanical wings. It drew a weapon as it flew. Coleman remembered that the female didn't have a helmet, and her shoulders weren't quite a broad.

This was the male elf then.

The bodyguard lined up his sights to the elf as it slowed down in midair, apparently looking for wherever the first shot had come from. He took half a breath, and pulled the trigger back ever so gently.

* * *

Captain Holly Short thought sand against her face should have been a bit warmer and much grittier. But what she from felt after diving down after shots were fired was a cold, hard surface. Maybe it had been too long since she had been to a beach, and she didn't remember the feeling of sand correctly.

The elf cracked half an eye open and was treated to darkness. Definitely not the beach. Silence and cold surrounded her as she pushed herself up from the ground. Everyone else seemed to have disappeared.

A gust of hot air blew past Holly's neck, and a soft blue light broke out behind her. She whipped her head back to see the Younger floating a iridescent fireball casually in a single gnarled hand.

"Holly Short..." he said slowly, staring intently at her, the light dancing gently on his ancient face. "Not Lieutenant Short, but _Captain_ Holly Short..." The imp still grinned at her like before, but there seemed to be less humor behind his expression now. "When I said I would see you in due time, I didn't expect Fowl to act so quickly."

He turned and started walking off, his body now covering the flame and making his stout outline glow.

"I'm sure you understand by now, Captain, that _time_ is of the essence," he said without turning or stopping, "I suggest you follow me."

Holly hesitated for a good few moments, then followed the imp, half-stumbling as she took her first steps on the surprisingly slick floor.

"Who are you?" she asked suddenly. "Where are we? Where is everybody else?"

At first, the Younger didn't respond, but rather walked even faster. Holly saw why almost immediately. One second they were walking in near pitch-darkness, punctuated by a single ball of fire that still didn't reveal anything about their surroundings, the next, they stood before a set of double doors that seemed to have appeared out of nowhere.

Holly almost fell back in surprise. The doors didn't seem to be attached to anything on either side, as if they just stood there on their own. They were made of dark stone, inlaid with gold that was cast in a pattern to look like glittering ivy growing up the door. Each one looked big enough for a troll to pass through, even without the usual destruction of door frames (not that there were any frames to speak of here).

The imp turned to her with the most serious expression she had ever seen on his face- both the water sprite and the imp faces.

"We should go in before talking. We wouldn't want your friends to die before we finish chatting now would we?"

Holly froze and stared. She opened her mouth to say something, but then promptly forgot what it was she wanted to say. Instead, she pushed at the door, which- despite how heavy it looked- swung freely at her touch and without a single sound. She didn't have enough time to actually look at what was inside before the Younger pushed her in and closed the door behind them both.

They were inside a room now, a giant circular place with gold walls that seemed to reflect a soft shimmering light that had no noticeable source. It must have been at least the size of Police Plaza, and the walls reached far, far up, not ending anywhere that Holly could see.

The air now somehow had a feeling of stillness about it, as if it didn't want to move and it took some effort to push through.

On one side of the room, a large wooden desk sat among a pile of old papers and what looked like several quills. It was almost as if a miniature study and its associated mess had been randomly transplanted into an otherwise empty hall. The demon waved Holly over to the desk, where he pulled out the only chair there for her to sit on. He promptly planted himself on the desk itself, not caring that he was sitting on several pieces of paper and one end of a scroll.

"There's only one chair," he explained, "we don't get visitors much. Actually, you're the first."

Holly sat cautiously, keeping her eyes locked on the imp. He spoke before she could.

"You really _are_ a fascinating being, did you know that? I've seen bits of your timeline. Did you know that most non-warlocks go insane after three or four time jumps?"

The captain shook her head, and was cut off again right before she could speak.

"But you've been through five, haven't you? And you are still seemingly sane," he quirked an eyebrow at her. "That's an interesting bond you have with the boy... unique, I think."

Holly spoke up before she could be stopped again. "What are you talking about?" Of course, she wanted to know specifically what he meant by a 'bond,' but the question was really a much more general 'what the heck is going on here?' type of thing. Gerouny seemed to have missed the tone.

"Stabilization," he replied. "You and the Mud Boy went through each time jump together, been inside each other's heads each time, and even switched an eye- which, by the way is fairly impressive. When body parts end up getting switched in jumps, things usually end up much worse. We think you two helped each other not go crazy. Two minds together are stronger than two minds apart. And Fowl seems to have a fairly strong mind for a Mud Boy."

The imp went back to staring at Holly, who felt as if those twinkling green eyes were probing her- testing her somehow. After a few seconds of silence, she looked away.

"So what is this place?" she asked finally, "Why did you bring me here? And-" she paused, "and who _are _you anyway?"

Gerouny grinned.

"It's about time somebody asked the important questions." His expression turned thoughtful. "What _is_ Mu? Because it certainly isn't just an _island_- at least not in the usual sense. Mu... you see, is a unique place on Earth, as far as we know: an island in spacetime, hanging quietly outside of the timestream, yet connected still to the continuum of the planet around it. You've been to Hybras. Hybras was a rock that was constantly hurtling through Limbo, propelled by the magic that sent it there in the first place until it eventually fell back into the natural spacetime. But Mu has no such magical inertia. It simply _is _the way it is. And the Book of Ages, in case you were wondering, is not really a _book_."

He jumped lightly off the desk and motioned for Holly to follow as he walked off to one side of the room.

"As for who I am, and why we're here... I will let Mu answer that question."

Gerouny waved a single hand in the air and muttered a long string of Gnommish in an harsh guttural tone that sounded like he was cursing a bad case of indigestion. A thick black slab of rock materialized on the ground before them, appearing from one side to the other in a wave of red sparks.

"Wait here," he commanded.

He went up to the golden wall of the room and began walking alongside it, squinting at the text inscribed on it. A moment later, he stopped and examined a symbol before tapping a single nail at it.

The surface of the black slab before Holly suddenly swirled with white mist.

"Watch carefully," warned the imp, "Mu does not like to give up its records. Blink and you might miss what you're looking for!"

Images solidified reluctantly on the slab as Gerouny stood next to Holly again.

"Mu is a place of record-keeping. It _is_ the Book of Ages_,_" he said as an image of a small circular room appeared on the slab. It looked like a miniature version of the place they were standing in now.

Next to it, in a separate image, faces and scenes emerged and disappeared in quick succession. Holly recognized some of the things- there was the throne of the elfin King Frond, the construction of the Eleven Wonders, and later on, battles between small bands of fairies and hoards of Mud Men. Most things though, meant nothing to the elf. Faces flashed by that she would never have known. Initially, they were mostly fairy visages and scenes, but gradually more and more images focused on the Mud Men and their surface world. She saw farms and fortifications, babies and battlements, markets and marriages, ships and soothsayers, the industrious and the industries.

Next to them, the small room grew bigger and bigger, seemingly sprouting up from the ground into the sky like a tree.

Images flew by faster and faster, but now Holly could tell that they were moving towards more modern things. But just as she could say that she recognized things within her lifetime, the images stopped. The slab clouded over again and then turned dark.

"Mu sits outside of time, and keeps a record of time. That is, in essence, what this island is." The imp shook his head. "My master and I were warlocks in the time of Frond. When we fairies were driven underground and my race imposed our own exile into Limbo, the two of us tried to find another way out. We knew that _actually_ changing the by going back was impossible, so we sought out the legendary isle of Mu, hoping that we could change its records and thereby save our people from defeat."

He chuckled humorlessly.

"We were fools. We found Mu, of course, but we were fools. The record cannot be changed." He turned to Holly. "We've been here ever since... which of course, means nothing in a place without time."

"We never had a reason to go back into the timestream," said a voice behind Holly.

The elf nearly jumped out of her skin. She turned around to see another imp, this one slightly shorter than Gerouny, with pale grey skin that looked like it was going soft with age. Two dark eyes peered at her from under bushy white eyebrows.

"Where did you come from!" exclaimed Holly.

The imp glanced over at Gerouny before looking back to Holly.

"Outside," he answered simply. He pointed a finger towards the door. "Through that door, just like you. I don't see any other way in or out, do you Captain Short?"

He didn't wait for a response before turning to the Younger.

"You moved too slowly Young One!" he hissed harshly. Gerouny paled. "Do not let your experience outside of time slow your actions inside time. Did you forget that even the island outside of this room is still pulled and swayed by the stream of time flowing by?"

He looked at Holly's confused expression and sighed.

"I am the one your stories called the Older Warlock of Hybras. Though I'd much prefer my proper name Kut'nall. I do not need to be reminded of my age every time I am addressed. My apprentice here was too caught up in telling stories and being mysterious and was therefore delayed." He bowed his head. "I apologize, Holly Short. Your friend Trouble Kelp was killed before my apprentice could bring you to the safety of this room."

Kut'nall waved a hand at the black slab and a single image appeared that suddenly left Holly feeling cold and numb.

Commander Kelp was falling through the air, plummeting to the ground. His visor had a web of cracks through it, punctuated by a single, small circular hole off to one side.

"To us, time outside is frozen," said the older imp quietly, "but for him, it is already too late."

Holly barely heard him. She was seeing her commander die before her eyes. Again.

"No..." she whispered. She turned and grabbed the older imp by the shoulders in the blink of an eye. "NO!" she yelled forcefully, but with her eyes now threatening to tear up. "There has the be a way to change the record of time. You wouldn't have brought me here otherwise!"

Kut'nall gave her a long, hard look. He swallowed, seemingly nervous.

"Young One, show her..." he paused, "show her the crack in time. We shall see if our guesses about this elf were correct or not."

* * *

Opal Koboi kept walking on the sand. She would never admit it, but it really _was_ hard to walk on a beach with high heels. In fact, it was so much effort that it took her a few minutes before she realized that she had passed Artemis, and a second or so after that before she turned around and realized that he was no longer moving.

In fact she could see the imposter off in the distance, along with his companions, all unmoving.

She walked back to Artemis curiously and wiggled her fingers in front of his face. He didn't respond. But when she did that, Opal noticed that very faint red sparks flowed across her hands.

The woman sucked in a breath and then quickly looked back at the group gathered in the distance. No, they were not _all_ frozen. The imp was apparently still moving. In fact, he looked like he was squealing and dancing frantically in his friends' faces.

* * *

**A/N: **I'm back! Oh dear, it has been a while, hasn't it? I've been kept busier than ever (no, seriously) over the past couple months, though I can promise the next update will not take nearly as long as this one did. Sorry. IHTFP.


	43. The Time Paradox

**A/N: **The closer we get to the end, the more we must look to the beginning. Little details- both from this story and the series proper- are now very important.

* * *

**Artemis Fowl: The Book of Ages**

The Time Paradox

* * *

Something flashed to her right. Holly looked over to see that a long, polished ladder had appeared next to the curved wall of the golden room.

"How did- When did-" she began.

Gerouny chuckled at her response.

"You're referring to the ladder, yes?" asked Kut'nall. The elf nodded.

The imp smiled thinly. "It was always here. It has always been here. When you are done using it, it will never have been here. That's how things work here. Don't worry about it too much; some very smart people have gone insane thinking about these things."

Gerouny nudged her towards the ladder, looking oddly serious again.

"Come on, Captain. You want to know why the world around you is so messed up? Climb the ladder. You'll know it when you see it. Once you find it, come back down and have a look." He gestured towards the black rock.

Holly bit back the question on the edge of her tongue. It really was like these two didn't know how to speak plain Gnommish! She briefly wondered if it was an ancient warlock thing to speak in riddles. She wouldn't have put it past them.

The elf looked at the ladder and pressed a hand against its lower rungs suspiciously. It looked and felt solid enough. But it had definitely appeared out of nowhere, and as a general rule, Holly didn't trust things that appeared and disappeared without reason. She found herself climbing the thing anyway.

Golden letters shimmered next to her, looking vaguely like Gnommish, but with many of the symbols just a little bit off. Even if she improvised the lettering to turn them into letters she knew though, the words they formed made no sense. Her gift of tongues was of no help here. Then she noticed something, and stopped climbing.

She looked very closely at the wall. Each symbol- roughly the size of her hand- was composed of what must have been hundreds of smaller symbols, each etched even deeper into the grooves formed by the larger carving. It looked like the smaller symbols were themselves composed of even tinier letters. She traced a single finger along the lettering, but pulled away quickly with a hiss. The wall was freezing cold.

But then something else caught her eye. Up just a few steps of the ladder from the rung she was on, a single letter stood out. A solitary silver symbol etched in the middle of a golden sea. Holly climbed two steps up to look at it.

She looked down at the two imps. "The silver letter? Is that it?" she asked, pointing.

Neither imp answered. Both looked at her expectantly. Holly sighed.

She touched one finger against the wall, expecting to feel the same coldness she had felt before. But instead, it was warm. Not a moment later, dark sparks crackled around the symbol, jumping from the wall to Holly's finger before she could pull it away. The elf gasped and sharply retracted her hand, cradling it even as the sparks continued to fly. The reminded her of the sparks that danced around the hole in Limbo just before she and the others had landed in this timeline.

A low rumbling sound came from the obsidian slab on the ground, and Holly took that as a cue to climb back down the ladder to the ground, where the two warlocks were already watching the rock intently.

The first thing she saw was red. It was an unfocused scene on barren land tinted by a rosy haze that seemed to cover everything. Then several things hit her about the picture at once.

There was the rumbling- which by now she could tell was a tremor of the ground. There was a howling noise that sounded like an angry mob. There was a low, rhythmic chanting.

Then the image resolved and Holly gasped.

It showed herself with a Neutrino, blasting away at an unpleasant-looking horde of demons. There was Qwan and N°1 weaving a spell at the lip of a volcanic crater. Artemis was nearby, dragging a large metal case on the ground- struggling very much, it seemed.

This was Limbo. This was Hybras, nearly two years ago in her own timeline just before the island had been catapulted back into time.

"What?" whispered the elf, her brown furrowing in confusion, "Why this? Why here?"

One of the imps hushed her.

In the image, the crazed demon leader, Leon Abbot, rushed past the rest of the demons with a sinister blade in hand. Before the image-Holly could react, the demon thrust the blade into her abdomen. Holly shivered at the sight and the memory.

"Artemis," she heard herself croak out, "Artemis, help me."

Holly Short wrapped her arms around herself as she watched herself die. She was alive in reality, of course, but it is hardly a very pleasant thing to watch something like that.

Then, just as she remembered from Artemis' memories, Abbot moved ahead and with two quick jabs, killed the two warlocks, N°1 and Qwan, without even blinking. But just as he moved on to the Mud Boy, Artemis wrestled the Neutrino from Holly's dead fingers and fired a single shot into the past. A shot that stunned Abbot before he could do all that damage.

There, the image froze. Then it began flickering wildly, looking as if the scene on the rock was convulsing.

It continued several seconds later, but everything Holly saw on the slab now looked like it had frayed edges. Everything there seemed... burned... somehow. In the blink of an eye, the rock showed them back in their original timeline, though Holly could have sworn the time between Limbo and Hybras landing was much longer.

She saw herself and Artemis looking at each other as they realized they had switched eyes. There was a certain expression on her soot-covered face as she looked at the Mud Boy. A bit of it was bemusement, at the very fact that they had switched eyes, but there was something else as well.

Looking on at the scene, Holly thought she might have been able to name that emotion. She bit her own tongue slightly, lest she inadvertently say something she might regret.

But still, even now in the rock, everything still seemed just a little frayed around the edges.

Kut'nall waved a hand and the images froze just as the past-N°1 began to talk to Abbot.

Holly waited as both imps turned to face her.

"Behold before us, a dead elf!" said the Elder warlock in a low voice, "Kept alive by paradox."

* * *

Opal Koboi was an expert in magical theory, if not practice. She wouldn't have known how to regain magic as a human otherwise- and not just any magic, but demon-brand magic.

There was always something about demon magic that set it apart from the other fairies'. In the days of the elfin kings, the warlock imps were widely revered as the People's most powerful warriors. Though they couldn't shield, and their healing abilities were relatively weak, the imps had the greatest mastery of temporal and kinetic magic. Demon warlocks became among the People's most valued assets in their defense against the rise of the Mud Men.

Right now, Opal was having a quick little debate inside her head as to how to use that magic to solve her little demon problem. The 'problem' in question was alternately scratching his head and making spellcasting gestures at his time-frozen friends to little effect.

Opal had a brief suspicion that the others were in fact, not quite frozen in time, but rather that this island had caused different people's passage through time to slip. Maybe those with demon magic were simply going much faster through time, giving the world around them the appearance of being stopped. This island, it seemed, was a place of very powerful, and poorly understood temporal magic. The woman smiled a wicked little smile and let a few red sparks jump off her skin.

She could have fun with this.

Opal bent down gingerly to the ground and gathered a small pile of sand. Drawing just a trickle of demon magic, she touched the sand briefly before picking it up. Now she had a short, razor-sharp black rod. It wasn't quite a dagger, but as far as stabbing things went, it would do just fine.

Demons- even imps- had a good bit of natural armor to them, but Opal was confident that wouldn't be a problem.

She focused her magic inward until she felt her body being pulled towards the little imp. One moment, she was standing next to Artemis and the LEP traitor, the next she had collapsed in the sand behind N°1. The imp choked out something that sounded vaguely like a muffled yell.

Opal looked up just in time to see N°1 fall forward with half a stone rod sticking out of his back.

It wasn't quite what she had in mind- and she never did expect teleportation to be quite so strenuous, or that the rod would simply appear embedded in the imp's body. But if anybody ever asked her about this, Opal would have easily said that this was precisely how she planned to kill the young demon warlock.

Not that anybody would ever ask.

* * *

Both warlocks in front of Holly Short froze with expressions of pain on their faces. Gerouny hissed.

Kut'nall turned to his apprentice.

"Go," he growled, "Find out what happened." He turned back to the obsidian slab.

The Younger imp was out of the room faster than Holly thought a demon would walk.

"What happened?" asked Holly, the paradox momentarily forgotten.

Kut'nall turned slightly and looked at her from the corner of his eye. "You've lost your deep connection with magic. The People of your time have grown used to too much technology and too little magic... you could not even feel when your friends' sparks faded."

Even Holly couldn't miss that one.

"But you, elf, have more important matters to deal with," continued the imp.

Holly narrowed her eyes. "My friends _are _an important matter..." she said.

"Indeed," responded Kut'nall without turning around, "but I'd say the destruction of your native timeline takes precedence... wouldn't you?"

The warlock pointed at the frayed edges of the images on the slab.

"When your human friend brought you back to life, he unleashed a paradox that ate away at the timeline that you landed in. While time travel without creating small paradoxes is nearly impossible, Nature can deal with little rumblings. A creature being brought back from death... is not a little rumbling."

Holly watched as the imp walked over to the side of the room and scratched one long nail along a symbol close to the ground. Then he climbed onto the ladder and touched another one further up. Both were gold.

As the Elder came back towards her, Holly could see the rock misting over again.

"Artemis Fowl the Second..." muttered the imp, rolling the name around his mouth as if he was tasting the words. "He is an unusual Mud Man, is he not, Holly Short?"

Images flashed on the rock again. This time, they seemed to only be ones where Holly and Artemis were together.

_Holly and N°1 were welcomed by Artemis into Fowl Manor as friends, as they both went to see the ill Angeline Fowl._

"Paradox..." muttered Kut'nall.

_Artemis was strapping himself onto a belt, along with Qwan and N°1. The metallic gleam of the bomb casing sparkled in the sunlight as Holly lifted them all up from the Taipei 101._

_They were at the Eleven Wonders exhibit in the Lower Elements, huddling together, tired and scared on a little island of carcasses as trolls surrounded them._

_Holly was burning a hole through the ceiling of a room. Artemis looked up, spotted her, and smiled briefly as she lowered a harness to get him out of his opulent prison within the Spiro Needle._

_Holly plucked a golden coin from her belt and tossed it high into the air before whipping out her Neutrino and firing a single shot into the coin, dead center. Artemis caught the coin, looking a little surprised that he did._

_Artemis stood behind her. "I don't suppose you could consider peaceful surrender?" he asked. "No," he sighed after a moment, "I suppose not." Holly turned to him, putting on a brave face. "Stay back, human. You don't know what you're dealing with."_

"Paradox," the imp repeated. He finally turned to Holly as the images faded. "The paradox Fowl introduced was born in Limbo, outside of your timline, so it did not destroy your native time immediately. But the temporal decay spread into the past and the future, until it found a crack in time: a slight one, one that would otherwise have been easily mended by Nature itself."

He gave the elf a hard, but slightly sad look, "Your timeline cracked at the moment Artemis Fowl the Second thought he could kidnap a fairy. He would have never thought of such a thing if he didn't have residual memories from his trip to the future."

"But then-" began Holly.

She was cut off by the sudden appearance of eight people in room.

* * *

Artemis Fowl had been walking along a beach. He could have sworn it in court and wouldn't even have needed any legal trickery to back him up. But now that was no longer true.

He found himself inside a golden room. The male elf lay on the ground halfway across the room, a hole in his helmet and his visor stained on the inside with red liquid. The imp had collapsed on his face, with something sticking out of his back. The imposter and Minerva Paradizo were next to them, apparently dazed.

But just as he saw all these things, the room darkened. Three blue lights flashed high above them, and flew down towards the ground as glowing rings. Artemis instinctively ducked and shut his eyes, but nothing happened to him.

When he opened his eyes to look again, blue sparks had bound the imposter and Paradizo, forcing them to the ground. Behind the collapsed demon, Opal writhed against her own magical bindings. The room was bright and golden again.

Artemis then heard a female scream. It was a terrible, blood-chilling sound of pain that came from Lieutenant Short, who was rushing forward to the fallen elf. She opened his visor only to let out another shrill scream of terror. After a second, she pushed shaking hands into the helmet.

Artemis was very glad she blocked her view of the elf right now. With such a positioning of the bullet hole, he could imagine that there wasn't much face left for the Lieutenant Colonel to see. There were no blue sparks coming from the elf's hands. Of course there weren't: there was nothing left to heal.

Fowl decided this was not a good place to be, wherever it was. He spotted a door off to one side and quickly stepped towards it, his right hand instinctively gripping the handle of his handgun.

He very nearly bumped into an imp that had suddenly appeared in his path.

"I would normally just force you to sleep," said the imp with a growl, "but I don't think I like you much right now. You've done enough damage, Mister Fowl."

It raised a hand, which pulsed with a short burst of red.

Artemis felt his gun being pulled from his hand as it floated in midair, flipping around and aiming itself in the air at a point between his eyes. He looked at the dark muzzle of the gun cross-eyed for a second.

Then the gun swung off to one side and whipped him soundly on the temple.

The man and his weapon fell to the ground.

* * *

Artemis Fowl had been lying on a beach. Or more precisely, he had been dodging bullets on a beach. But that seemed like a moot point now as he was bound in place by some strange blue magic that seemed to have an unfortunately tight and unrelenting grip on his arms and torso. The force of the magic threw him to the ground. Minerva seemed to be in a similar predicament next to him.

"Artemis!" he heard Holly exclaim as she came up next to him. She turned to an imp standing next to her- this wasn't the same imp they had seen on the beach. "What happened to them?" The elf looked at Artemis again, but then seemed to see something behind him. Her legs gave out from under her, and the teen couldn't move fast enough in his bound state to really catch her before she fell to her knees, her face a mask of fear.

He forced his head around and immediately saw why.

Behind him, the imp spoke quietly. "The other Fowl's bodyguard shot your friend Trouble." He looked to Gerouny for an explanation for N°1.

The taller imp kicked a handgun away from an unconscious Fowl before he came over and shook his head angrily.

"A temporal shift happened on the beach. All those without a demon's connection to time slowed down, and the human abomination," he nodded towards Opal's bound figure, "used the opportunity to stab our brethren in the back."

"LET ME GO!" screeched Opal a few feet away, glaring at Artemis, then the imps, then Holly. She ended up glaring at just about everyone there.

"I can't," stated the Elder warlock simply, looking at her with a blank expression, "_The Rule of Law and the Rule of Need, Without their leave thou canst ne'er succeed._" He sighed. "I wrote that in the Book for you all as a warning. But what's the point if you gave up your Book?" He looked around. "All of you who are bound are held now because you broke the rule of Temporal Law. Offenses against the laws of time are not well tolerated here. The island's own magic holds you."

Opal, naturally, continued to screech.

The imp scowled as he walked up to her fallen form and hit her once, hard, on the side of her skull.

Opal didn't make any more noise. Passing out does that to people.

* * *

Holly couldn't believe her eyes.

In theory, she understood that in this timeline, war dominated and the People were being beaten in their home cities. In theory, she understood that they were up against a human Opal Koboi and an evil Artemis Fowl who would stop at little to achieve their goals. In theory, she understood that people had already been hurt, and would probably be hurt more before they restored her own timeline. _If_ they restored her own timeline.

But now she saw two of her closest friends before her, dead. She saw the other Holly- how was she even here?- sobbing uncontrollably on Trouble's body.

Holly realized that no amount of mental preparation could brace her against seeing this.

Kut'nall spoke up next to her. "Be glad you aren't bound as well. You've run very close to breaking the laws of time."

That was the least of her worries right now.

She reached a trembling hand and grasped Artemis' larger ones as he slowly got up, his arms still pinned to either side of his body. She could barely see him through the haze of tears that suddenly covered her eyes.

"Holly," Artemis started saying.

"Shhh," she whispered, "it's going to be alright."

That was a lie, of course. Holly had no idea why she said it. She wasn't even sure if she was saying it to Artemis or to herself.

She turned to face the two imps.

"You brought us here for a reason," she said, shaking. "How do we fix it?"

Neither imp looked at Holly. Kut'nall stared at the obsidian slab, where the image of a young Artemis Fowl's first contact with Holly Short was frozen on the surface.

"Small paradoxes... little contradictions... can be accepted by Nature, even if they have major consequences," said the Elder warlock slowly, "But to restore you own timeline, you must ensure that these small contradictions in time do not become the focal points of a temporal collapse. You must remove the trigger that caused the collapse."

"Holly," said Artemis, who was on his knees next to her, "what are they talking about?"

"Artemis Fowl..." said Kut'nall addressing the human for the first time, "you came here to restore time. Understand now that in order to do so, you must go back to the moment when you changed history to save Holly Short... and do nothing. You must let her die."

* * *

**A/N: **And on that cheery note, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everybody!


	44. A Little Reminder

**A/N: **Look at that, another chapter already! Credit for the quick update goes to winter break and that crazy blizzard blowing outside my window.

* * *

**Artemis Fowl: The Book of Ages**

A Little Reminder

* * *

Lieutenant Colonel Holly Short thought she had a plan. Or at least, she did up until she was captured by Opal on the beach.

It wasn't all that convoluted, really.

Maybe fate had decided that she'd had enough suffering to last several lifetimes, and given her another chance at life, at love, and at happiness. And she'd be damned if she didn't take advantage of that.

In her plan, nobody necessarily _needed _to die, but if certain dangerous Mud Men fell off the face of the planet here or there, she wouldn't be one to complain. She originally thought that the supposed time travelers were just a little off the deep end. Though they did seem, at least, to be who they claimed to be. That much was difficult to dispute, especially when she was staring at herself as the other-Holly acted and spoke with nearly every single unique trait she had.

Things weren't supposed to go like this.

The Artemis Fowl of this world was only supposed to stop the time travelers from getting back to their own time. That was why she helped him with the information she had from the time travelers. That was why she lured him with the promise of stealth ore. Hell, most of the group didn't even matter one bit to Holly. Only one person did. It would have been enough if she had convinced him to stay. She wouldn't have needed to do anything drastic. But he wouldn't stay, so she acted. Trouble would stay in this world. With her. There was no way she was losing him again.

Things weren't supposed to go like this.

The time travelers weren't supposed to make this much progress. The older Fowl should have made it difficult for them. The younger Fowl should have bungled up. They weren't supposed to have help from warlock imps.

Things weren't supposed to go like this.

Opal wasn't supposed to have magic. The French scientist wasn't supposed to get involved. Other-Holly and the young Fowl should have been at each other's throats.

Trouble should have trusted her. He wasn't supposed to be in danger. He wouldn't have been if he had trusted her.

Lieutenant Colonel Holly Short felt her heart stop at the sight of the fallen elf and the shattered helmet. When she opened the visor, horror and revulsion ran through her even as the the sight ripped at her soul, tearing it into thin ribbons. He was gone now- wrenched from her life for the second time. Holly didn't hear herself scream.

She reached to his face with sparking fingers, only to have the blue light fade as she touched dead flesh. Holly Short was now hunched over Trouble Kelp's body as a broken elf, crushed far beyond repair.

* * *

Artemis Fowl stared at the imp with a scowl, even as his brain was going over events and probabilities. There were eight years worth of events, but only a few of them really mattered in getting them stuck in this predicament. It took him about three seconds to consider the ones that did. After a three-second pause, Artemis spoke.

"No," he said coldly, "You will never suggest to me again that I am to allow Holly to die in Limbo. She lives. We will _all_ get back to our timeline." He nodded towards the fallen forms of Trouble and N°1. "Including them."

Artemis shook his head.

"Secondly, you have the wrong paradox trigger. Opal Koboi created the original paradox that allowed me to find the People in the first place. All we have to do is stop her from being the cause of that, and implant some sort of external stimulus in my ten-year-old mind that would lead me to believe it is possible to find fairies- preferably a stimulus from either my own timeline or from a source outside of time. Everything else would simply work out the way it did in our native time."

Kut'nall barked out a harsh, gravelly chuckle.

"Believe me, Fowl, if it were that simple, I would have done it myself." He clenched a fist, seemingly in frustration, "Which do you believe to be easier: rubbing two neurons together to give you the notion that fairies exist, or bringing a dead elf back to life?" He sighed. "Time itself has some flexibility to it... it has already fixed the smaller paradoxes. If it wasn't capable of doing that, timelines would be shattered each time someone used _any_ sort of temporal magic- traveling, bending, or stopping time."

He looked gravely at Artemis first, then at Holly.

"I wish this no more than you do... but it is the only way."

"Give me more information then," growled Artemis through clenched teeth. "There cannot only be one way."

The imp only stared at him.

Then Holly spoke up- quietly, hesitantly. "How do we do it?"

* * *

Minerva Paradizo had gotten herself to something approximating a sitting position on the ground, even with her arms constricted to her chest by blue magic.

She was at once very calm and very scared, a combination that she hadn't believed possible until now. She recognized the imp they called the Elder. That voice and that face in shadows haunted her for years now. It was the same demon who had warned her against summoning Hybras to Earth years ago. It was the same demon who spoke to her in that Himalayan monastery. She suspected rather strongly that he and his pupil had created the time stop around the building. They were probably involved in other ways too.

Minerva stayed quiet as she observed her surroundings and all the exchanges going on around her. When the imp had proclaimed that those who were bound by magic were bound as punishment for crimes against time, she somehow felt... comforted by that fact. All these years she held a secret sin close to her, and not once had anyone suspected anything. Her own conscience tormented her relentlessly though.

To have some sort of punishment manifest itself then, was almost a relief. It felt almost like a weight off her shoulders even as her chest was constricted; it was almost a penance of sorts.

She didn't really understand what the Elder and Artemis were talking about, but one thing seemed clear enough. For their timeline to survive, Holly Short had to die.

She wondered what they would do. If it was the truth, Minerva really did feel sorry for the elf. Maybe when she was younger she would have simply told them to do it and let the past be the past. What was one life in exchange for the thousands they would save on Hybras and in Haven?

But now, she really couldn't say she would blame them if they didn't go through with it. After all, she had run from her mistakes the same way for years. There was something though, something she felt like she wasn't accounting for properly.

The elf and this Fowl were connected in a way she couldn't see. Call it intuition from years of non-intuitive research, or whatever, but they definitely had some sort of strange dynamic that she wouldn't be able to guess at. And it wasn't just the eyes.

* * *

Holly was not entirely shocked by the proclamation. Maybe she was in denial and her head was just nodding along to whatever was being said without actually considering it. People said she had an indomitable will, but every day spent in this timeline tested it sorely. She watched numbly as Artemis and the Elder Warlock argued.

But then she looked at the room around her. It didn't really feel like it had hit her yet that N°1 and Trouble were dead. Seeing the other Holly's reaction though, made her wonder.

If one death did this, who was she to inflict this timeline on the world, just for surviving Hybras?

She swallowed, shivered a little, and turned to the imp. She made a decision.

"How do we do it?" she asked. She said it in a much calmer voice than she would have expected.

"We _don't_," cried Artemis, his voice rising a little now.

"You said you wanted information, Arty. Once we know one way of fixing the timeline, you can try to figure something else out."

The imp seemed to regard Artemis for a moment. Artemis didn't have a retort to that.

"Well, I said the Mud Boy needs to go back to that moment in Hybras and do nothing. It's very simple, really." He pointed a single gnarled finger at the obsidian slab that was sitting- blank- a few feet away. "When you recall that moment in Limbo to the Observation Stone, you may also use it to go back to that moment. Simply step into the surface, and let Time act."

Holly heard Artemis suck in a breath.

"Holly, help me," he said, straining against his magical bonds. "We're getting out of here. There has to be another way, but the Book of Ages won't be of any use to us now."

Gerouny appeared next to her at looked at the struggling human with a solemn face. He whispered quietly, just barely loud enough for them to hear.

"_The Rule of Law and the Rule of Need, w__ithout their leave thou canst ne'er succeed. Choose to fail and return to thine lands, or fade into darkness, as dust on the sands. To you then, Thieves, a piece of advice: __No wrong is made right, but through sacrifice._"

Artemis scowled at the imp.

"He's insane."

Holly trembled as she moved to pick up something from next to Trouble's body. It didn't look like the other Holly even noticed. She stepped towards Artemis and put it onto the ground behind him before he saw what it was. He struggled to turn around to see what she was doing.

"Arty, look at me," she said.

He stopped turning and stared at her mismatched eyes with his own.

Holly rushed forward and hugged him close, bound arms and all. Her momentum caused him to fall over again, until they were both lying a bit haphazardly on the ground.

"Artemis, we can't run anymore," she said with a ragged voice as tears threatened to spill past her eyes. She leaned back a little to look at his face, which held an expression mixed with confusion and fear. "Look at you. You're not a boy anymore Arty. You've done great things, and I know your best work is yet to come." She gave him a little, tear-smeared smile. "Hey, do me a favor, won't you?"

He opened his mouth, but no words came out. He nodded a little instead.

"Try not to steal so much from others... at least from those who don't deserve it."

"Hey," he protested weakly, "with only one exception, I've _only_ stolen from-"

Holly silenced him with a kiss.

Artemis seemed confused at first, but responded quickly enough. It was almost too bad he couldn't move his hands. But Holly was glad he couldn't.

The moment lasted forever. When it was over, the kiss never even happened. That was, of course, how things always worked on Mu.

"I'll miss you," muttered Holly, her mouth not an inch away from his.

Artemis heard that and pulled back sharply, terror now flashing in his eyes.

"No, Holly, don't!" he pleaded, "There _will_ be another way. I... I..." he voice grew fainter. "Don't do it... please..."

Holly freed one hand to pick up the Neutrino she had dropped behind him.

"I can't live without you," he said, a bit louder now. "Holly, I love you."

It didn't sound so much like a proclamation as it did a reminder. It felt like it was something they had both known for a long time already- so long that nothing ever needed to be said. Artemis said it almost like a little reminder.

"I know," she whispered.

The elf squeezed her eyes shut to stem the flow of tears as she pressed the muzzle of the gun against his side.

"I know," she repeated.

She pulled the trigger.

Artemis slumped against the ground.

A long silence passed in the room. Well, as much as something could be considered 'long' in a place without time. Finally, Gerouny was the one who broke the silence. He coughed.

"I take it you'll need help getting him to the to Observation Stone," he said, "Both of you need to enter."

Holly nodded, shaking. She removed her trembling hands from Artemis, dropping the Neutrino in the process. Staggering over to the ladder, she climbed it and reached for the silver symbol as the two imps dragged the unconscious human towards the black slab.

The scene on Hybras replayed as Holly stepped back onto the ground.

When the moment of her death approached on the rock, the elf took hold of Artemis by one arm. She thought she heard a quiet wish for good luck from Minerva, but anything else the woman might have said was drowned out by the sounds of howling demons.

As Leon Abbot raised his sword, Holly Short stepped into the surface of the stone, dragging an unconscious Artemis Fowl by her side.

* * *

**A/N:** You could kill me now. But then you'll never get the last chapter of the story.


	45. Who Yields to Time

**A/N:** Whew... over two years and forty five chapters later, we arrive at the end. Thank you all for following this story, through all its ups and downs, terrible cliffies and long delays. It's been a pleasure writing this.

And now we end with two quotes: one from Artemis Fowl, the other the same one that started it all way back in chapter one.

* * *

**Artemis Fowl: The Book of Ages**

Who Yields to Time

* * *

"_There will be consequences for this... You can't alter events in time and be unaffected. But whatever the consequences are, I will bear them, because the alternative is too terrible." _Artemis Fowl, _The Lost Colony_

_Who forces time is pushed back by time; who yields to time finds time on his side._ - the Talmud

* * *

The Elder Warlock and his apprentice watched as the elf and the human entered the Observation Stone. The stone went blank, and for a moment, there was silence in the chamber of the Book of Ages.

Then there was a rustling sound, something like the movement of thousands and thousands of papers. By sound alone, one would have thought some professor had just told a room full of students to find a particular page in a huge text. With the sound came thousands of shimmers, as symbols along the walls of the chamber flickered and rearranged themselves. Some disappeared entirely as new ones took their places. The single silver symbol faded into gold.

As each change was made, the new arrangement of the Book of Ages became the _only_ arrangement of the Book of Ages. The time line now always existed like this. It was never any different. Still, the rustling continued.

The Elder let out a sigh.

Gerouny tilted his head and quirked an eyebrow at the older demon.

"What happened?" he asked.

"They succeeded," said the Elder with a tired voice. He started walking away, but his apprentice grabbed his shoulder.

"Wait! What do you mean?"

Kut'nall turned around and almost growled. "Look around you!" he said, "Didn't I teach you to read the symbols of events?"

"The _true_ timeline has been restored." He pointed high on the walls as he exclaimed in a deep, rumbling tone. "There! Holly Short and Artemis Fowl the Second disappear from time. Hybras reenters the timeline and shatters in the process without _five_ magical beings to guide it, since Short, Qwan, and N°1 lay dead! The fragments missed Earth and are pulled in the magical draw of the moon. They crashed into the moon." The imp shifted his finger to point even higher up on the curved wall. "The People are revealed, of course, and there is the inevitable war before an unsteady peace."

The Elder sighed. "Time moves on. The timeline was restored up until the point when those two disappeared from it... and that is the best that can be done." He looked sternly at Gerouny, stopping any protests before the imp could begin. "There _was_ no way to save our Family. Not without destabilizing the timeline. Qwan and the others should have known better than retreat outside of time. At least this way, those two bought Earth a few more years of peace and a swifter conclusion to the war. A violent meeting of races is inevitable... it can only be alleviated- and in that, these two have done Earth a great service."

* * *

Minerva only felt the fading at first. As the Book of Ages reconstituted itself, she could only stare in wonder at the things around her. She craned her neck upward to try to make out the top of the chamber, but to no avail. The more she looked, the more tired she felt.

Even though her body began to feel light, she felt like she had less and less energy to move it. Eventually, the blue ring of sparks that was constricting her evaporated, leaving her free to move, but still unable to manage the motion. Minerva fell over to the ground.

Her body felt like balloons now, as if her entire figure were one of those balloon animals they gave out at fairs and circuses. Minerva the balloon woman. She almost laughed at that.

Then she saw the fading. It happened around her fingertips first, then spread slowly upwards until it met her shoulders and chest, where it continued on. The scientist slowly smiled even as her body disappeared.

Her penance was paid. The timeline was restored.

She hoped as she disappeared that maybe, just maybe, she would wake up in the new- or rather, the old- timeline, and be given another chance.

She would probably have been somewhat less happy about that if she had heard the two imps talking.

Then, the figure of Minerva Paradizo faded entirely, leaving nothing to be seen, just like the rest of the timeline she came from.

Well, maybe not quite the _entire_ timeline.

* * *

Lieutenant Colonel Holly Short banged her head hard against the chamber floor and nearly choked when she lifted her head back up. She had been splayed across the body of Trouble Kelp, shoulders shaking with little residual sobs when it happened. The body simply disappeared, leaving nothing between Holly and the floor.

"The true timeline has been restored..."

Holly listened to the imp as he explained what was happening to their surroundings. Looking around, the elf saw that Fowl, Koboi, and even the Paradizo woman were disappearing- eaten away at the edges into nothingness.

She felt a slight pull at her body from nowhere, but found that with some concentration, she could stop it. Still, it had to be said that even a little bit of concentration was difficult to muster right now.

_'No... the war CAN'T happen!' _The elf looked at the spot where Trouble's body had disappeared from. _'There has to be a way to save... to save him... and stop the war...'_

The war was almost an afterthought.

Holly Short sprang up from her position on the floor, and with that sole purpose in mind, her body acted of its own accord.

* * *

Kut'nall saw the elf moving from the corner of his eye. He quickly scanned the rest of the room, and saw that all the others were already gone- as they should be. How was this elf still here?

"What is she doing?" he growled, staring as she approached the wall of the chamber, where the black ladder appeared for her, unbidden.

Neither warlock spoke while she climbed the ladder. She stopped and ran a finger precisely along a single golden symbol. Below her, the black surface of the Observation Stone came alive again, and for the third time, the howling of demons and the smell of sulfur flowed into the chamber.

Gerouny realized it first when he saw the stone.

A wide grin broke out from his previously grim expression. He laughed loudly. Perhaps a little too loudly than was really appropriate.

Pointing to the stone and the descending elf, he spoke quickly to his master.

"Don't you see? She is choosing to alter the timeline- but in a way that stops the paradox!"

Kut'nall turned to his student, his ancient brow furrowed.

"The Rule of Need! There is both a Rule of Law and a Rule of Need!" exclaimed the Younger Warlock, "The magic of the Law stopped some of the others from acting, but the magic of the Rule of Need compels this elf to act!" Then his expression turned thoughtful as he scratched his chin, his eyes glittering. "That Kelp chap must really mean something to this one because there's no way she's doing it for demons or Mud Men."

Slowly, the Elder Warlock's eyes widened. He sucked in a careful breath as Holly Short threw herself into the stone's surface.

The scene on the stone collapsed around her, warping and rippling like a pool of water before fading to black altogether. The rustling sound around them grew louder again, and the shifting symbols sped up.

Then, just as slowly as before. Kut'nall shook his head.

"They still lack their two warlocks. If they too are saved, then the paradox reconstitutes itself. If they are not, Hybras still falls."

Gerouny groaned. He pulled at the other imp's shoulder until he was face to face with his old master.

"They are missing two warlocks." He pointed one finger at himself, and then at the older imp. He paused, letting the thought sink in. "I'd say it's high time we got off this cursed island, don't you?"

"Didn't I teach you anything?" responded Kut'nall, "There _is_ no time on this island."

But he too, was smiling.

It was certainly not the best thing in the world, but is was indeed one last alternative.

* * *

**Island of Hybras, Limbo**

Hybras in Limbo was by no means a pleasant place to be. Especially when a volcano was about to explode. Especially when a bomb was about to go off on top of that volcano. Especially when a mob a angry demons was coming after you with an array of pointy, sharp, and/or heavy things with which to stab, slice, crush and otherwise mutilate you.

Well, at least if you were killed before the bomb or volcano went off, you wouldn't have to suffer through those.

Hyras in Limbo: just a _little _ways away from the happiest place in the universe.

Artemis opened his eyes to find himself dragging a heavy silver case along the ash-covered ground. His face felt bloated and hot from the heat wafting around them from the volcano. What was the count?

A little voice seemed to speak inside his head. His own voice, in fact, only younger.

_'An hour per second for a count of forty, followed by a deceleration to thirty minutes per second for a count of eighteen, then a slight jump backwards in time, one minute per second back for a count of two. Then it repeats.'_

Then he had another thought. This one seemed quite distinct from the other.

_'No... the time spell is deteriorating faster than that. The pattern of time fails, then it'll collapse even faster once the paradox is introduced.'_

It hit him then. The paradox. Holly.

He looked up just in time to see Abbot rising his sword. Time slowed- of course it did, it was decelerating again. But that meant Artemis couldn't get there fast enough. He tried, though. With no other options, the Irish teen tried the most brutish of attacks. Artemis moved to tackle the demon.

But to no avail. The flow of time was just too slow. His thoughts were keeping up, but his body wouldn't. Artemis saw with horrifying clarity the moment when Abbot's magic blade touched the surface of Holly's uniform.

* * *

Captain Holly Short had walked into the stone's surface with her eyes closed. She didn't open them even when she heard the harsh howling of demons, or felt the volcanic heat burn at her exposed face. If one of her last memories was to hear Artemis say _those_ words, then she would by no means mar her life with anything too unpleasant after that.

She felt the temporal strain pull at her a little, as time collapsed around her. Her left arm- a few inches closer to the volcanic lip- felt like had too much energy, while her right felt sluggish. Not that it mattered, of course. Holly expected that in a few seconds, she would feel pain, followed by nothing at all.

A demon roared in somewhere in front of her, and she felt something sharp poking her chest.

Then, a jolt. The air was knocked out of her lungs by the brunt of an impact on her right shoulder. Red-hot ashes stung her face before she realized that she was lying on the ground.

"D'Arvit..." she heard herself curse. But it didn't come from her mouth.

Holly cracked open an eye and froze at the sight she saw.

Abbot had stabbed her. But she was looking at herself now, in a slightly older, more worn-looking uniform, struggling with both hands to push a blade out of her chest, even as black and blue sparks crackled and dueled where the metal met flesh. The blue fought valiantly, but lost quickly enough.

The demon leader roared in confusion and anger when he saw the Holly on the ground. But with a grunt, he set off towards two easier targets. The elf could wait.

Holly saw the light fade from the Lieutenant's eyes, her expression still a grim mask of determination, not that much different in death than it looked in life.

Before she even really processed the scene, Holly raised her Neutrino reflexively as Abbot approached N°1 and Qwan, who were still immersed in their spell-weaving. But something pulled at the weapon and it flew out of her hand.

Seemingly from nowhere, Gerouny appeared nearby and caught the Neutrino in one outstretched palm.

"No, Captain," said the Elder Warlock, who had appeared next to Gerouny, "Unless you want to restart the paradox... those two can't be saved."

He then quickly turned around towards the demon horde, and yelled in a loud, disgusted, _mesmer_-laced voice.

"_You fools! Stop this nonsense!_"

The mob paused, seemingly shaken. One or two dropped their weapons. A few more wet themselves. But none of the demons advanced any further.

Artemis somehow made it by her side, bomb still in hand.

They watched the spectacle in fearful silence, as Abbot dealt two swift blows. One stroke of his cursed sword. Then another. N°1 fell, the magic from his spellcasting still leaking from his body. Qwan was only held up by the fact that Abbot's blade was still stuck in him.

Then Gerouny fired a single bolt from the Neutrino.

Abbot was launched several feet away, and Qwan fell over with the blade in his chest, dead long before he hit the ground.

"Quickly now!" ordered Kut'nall, "Before the time spell collapses." He turned to Artemis and Holly. "I presume you two know what to do."

Moving almost automatically now, Holly pulled Abbot's unconscious body into place, though she paused briefly to bend down and close Qwan and N°1's eyes. She glanced back at the fallen body of the other Holly, further off on the plateau. She wouldn't have time to reach it.

They gathered in a rough pentagram: two demon warlocks, a snoring demon leader, an elf, and a barely-magical human. Kut'nall looked around at the group.

"Qwan was better than I gave him credit for," he mused, even as his eyes flashed blue and glowing runes appeared on his body, "this is an absolutely _horrible_ mess of a way to set up a time transport."

"It would be less of a mess if you focused," reprimanded his apprentice.

The Elder made an unhappy grunt. The magic grew.

"It will take both of us to control the spell," said Kut'nall, "So Fowl, lead us to the time. Short, lead us to the place."

This time, they understood immediately.

* * *

At first, Artemis thought he could correct for the three years he had missed the first time they made this trip. But he stopped himself when he realized that would hardly be a wise choice. It took the LEP three years to set up a way to hide Hybras. He would not be gaining back lost time. But he knew for sure that he was an older Fowl in a younger body- he had already lived for more than he should have with all the time traveling.

So he focused on the time, and felt his native timeline reach out to him.

This was not like the first time, when he had no experience with magic or with time. Though he clutched Holly's hand just as tightly as he had before- or perhaps even tighter- the flow of magic around the circle pushed his own magic along much more easily. He felt a comforting warmth from Holly's magic as if flowed into him and melded with his own- a warmth quite unlike the icy reception he received when he entered the other timeline from Limbo.

As their thoughts and memories combined, Artemis finally understood just what had happened.

"_She jumped in front of you?"_ Artemis asked without speaking.

"_She did it for that elf," _responded the Younger instead of Holly.

"_Don't delude yourselves,"_ added the Elder, _"That one has no love for Mud Men or demons."_

He couldn't help but crane his neck around to look at the fallen figure of the other Holly. He felt another wave of warmth coming from the Holly next to him, as she saw his thoughts. It was probably the closest she could do to an unending, comforting embrace at the moment.

Then, from the cacophony of thoughts, Qweffor finally broke through.

"_Hello? Who's there?"_

"_Qweffor, I need your help..." _came Kut'nall's thoughts, each bit as gritty-sounding as his words, _"Feel the spell around you and lend it your power!"_

"_Who is that?"_ came Qweffor's thoughts again.

Artemis could almost make out Kut'nall grinding his teeth in frustration.

"_I am the Elder Warlock of Hybras," _came the thought soon enough, _"But introductions later. Magic- now!"_

"_But I thought the Elder disa-"_

"_MAGIC!"_ yelled the thoughts of four people at Qweffor. And when four people yell the same thing inside your head, you listen, no matter how crazy the situation. They did manage to get in your head, after all.

There was an hour left on the bomb's timer. But time accelerated again. In one instant, the charge inside the casing sparked, triggering the explosive material. The bomb exploded in a powerful, blazing pulse.

Fragments shot out in all directions, their energy captured by the lattice of magic that had formed around the bomb. Artemis had seen all of this before, of course, but it still left him in awe.

If a bomb this small could trigger a spell like this, Fowl briefly wondered what a nuclear weapon would be able to do.

"_Stop it Arty," _came Holly's thoughts almost immediately, _"Last time it was Impressionist art, this time it's nukes. Why can't you Mud Men focus? Let's try not to land in the middle of an exploding Hiroshima, hm?"_

Things seemed to happen faster than last time. Maybe it was because Artemis had almost gotten used to being ripped apart and sent across spacetime, and his brain just resigned itself to that fact now without bothering to analyze it.

A giant blue ring of magic burst from the lip of the volcano, quickly overwhelming the naturally red tint of Limbo. It expanded past the boundaries of the island of Hybras. Time flowed backwards just once more, causing the ring to shrink back down slightly for two counts.

Then time moved forward again. The ring bellowed outward and Limbo glowed a magical, sparking blue. Arcs of magic struck the edges of the island like lightning bolts, scorching the rock where they touched.

Then time accelerated.

The magic collapsed on itself, drawing all of Hybras and everything on it into one single, tiny point, and whisking them through space and time. For just a moment, all of Limbo appeared blue.

When the color faded, Limbo was completely empty, and completely red again.

Or maybe it wasn't. After all, if something is red, but no one is around to see it, does it actually have a color?

And that, of course, was how any place outside of time always was: confusing.

* * *

**Earth Time Stream**

Materialization was as painful as Artemis remembered. Even though he had adapted to time travel with a few people, bringing an entire island of demons across time was hardly the same affair.

He found himself lying flat on the ground on his back, staring blankly at a blue sky. Moments later, the buzz of hundreds of deactivating cam-foils rolled across the sky, as fairy vehicles of every type imaginable dropped into viability. Foaly's Section Eight project, it seemed, worked out just as well as it did the last time.

But Artemis did not pay nearly as much attention to that as he had before. Even as the two demon warlocks moved swiftly to deal with Qweffor and Abbot, he only saw one thing.

Holly's soot-covered face appeared above him in his field of vision. There were tan, skin-colored streaks running from her eyes where tears had washed away the volcanic soot.

"Your eyes," she said, her lips quirking up just a little, "we switched again."

Artemis sighed as the elf reached a hand towards his face, using her magic to resize the hazel eye to a proper human norm. "I suppose we could have done better with the time transport, but I think I already picture myself with this eye as being the real, normal me."

He pushed himself off the ground and surveyed his surroundings. Three bodies still lay near the volcano's crater- the price that was paid to correct the paradox.

Holly Short, Qwan, and N°1 died by Leon Abbot's blade, just as Time demanded. The paradox was no more.

On a nearby patch of empty ground, grappling hooks pierced the rock as an LEP craft pulled itself into position and landed on the island with a pneumatic hiss.

"We made it..." whispered Artemis, half to himself and mostly in awe. He saw Foaly galloping over, flanked by several fairies in both LEP and Section Eight garb.

He felt a hand turn his face though, as Holly made him look at her.

"Yeah," she agreed quietly, her hair still disheveled and her face still dirty, "We made it back." She stared at him with mismatched eyes. "And I'm never letting go of you again."

The elfin captain, Holly Short, kissed a Mud Man in full view of a good part of the LEP, Section Eight, and several hundred demons.

There would be consequences for this. But whatever the consequences were, they would bear them together, because the alternative is too terrible.

**THE END**

* * *

**A/N:** It's been a long story, I think I'm entitled to a slightly longer ending A/N, don't you?

Okay, so I'll make a few general comments and preemptively answer a few questions that will inevitably come up.

I got a lot of theories about how this story would end (and many more death threats in addition to those), and though a few people guessed the general gist of the ending correctly, Totally Obsessed had what I thought was a really creative theory. It turned out to be wrong (and Holly's height was actually just changed so I'd have an easier time distinguishing the two when writing), but still, I liked it a lot. Also, I should say that this ending (the actual ending) was not influenced by Ru-Doragon and her ilk.

Now, for stuff about future writing, I'll say this: I don't know. I don't think there's much point to a direct sequel for this story, since as far as I can tell, I worked out most of the timeline kinks Colfer introduced, minus the two Kobois, which he'll probably deal with later anyway. I will certainly keep on writing, though whether the next piece will be for Artemis Fowl or not, I can't say. Until then, I things like "real life," "school," and "research" to keep be busy. Not that I'm complaining too much.

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this author's humble tale of Mud Men and fairies. Happy New Year!

And please leave a review. It'd make my day.


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